Chapter Text
There were tears building in Seungmin’s eyes, but that was hardly a rare occurrence. It also wasn’t a rare occurrence for him to be alone like he was right now.
He was usually better than this. Stronger than this. But he couldn’t help the way tears welled up as he stood a couple feet from the front door, hoping it would open. Even though it was late at night, and Daddy was probably still away on his work trip.
He hadn’t bothered to tell Seungmin how long he’d be gone, just that he was leaving ‘for a few days’ and to take care of himself. As if Seungmin ever did anything else. Even when Daddy was home, he had to fend for himself. Daddy was always too tired from work to take care of him, but that was okay.
He shuffled his feet, his two fists clenching tightly on the fabric of his blankie. He had barely set it down the last two days that he’d been alone. He took a step closer to the door, looking at it longingly. The tears that had been building finally slipped down his cheeks, and once they started they didn’t stop. He walked the last step or two to the door, hiccuping, and pressed his hands up against, still clutching his blankie.
“Daddy,” he blubbered, even though he hated the name. Even though it didn’t feel right. Even though Daddy didn’t care about him. But Seungmin still wanted him here. He wanted anyone to be here with him. He hated being alone.
“Daddy,” he cried again, fully bawling. His face felt hot and he could barely see the door anymore through his tears. His breath stuttered as he took heaving breaths in before choking around them as he continued to cry.
He didn’t care that it was late at night, that it was way past his bedtime. Not that he really had one. Daddy didn’t care when he went to bed so long as he was quiet at night. He was supposed to be quiet at all times, actually.
But he wasn’t being quiet right now, and part of him worried that if Daddy did come back tonight he’d be angry at Seungmin for making so much noise. The thought wasn’t enough to stop his cries, though. He wailed, hitting his hands against the door as if Daddy would hear him from wherever he was and come back. Seungmin didn’t even know if he was in the country.
He didn’t know how long he cried, how long he yelled and hit against the door, but he gasped when a light turned on in the hallway outside, a little strip of light at the bottom of the door.
“Hello?” Someone called from the other side, a woman’s voice. A second later he heard a hesitant knock against the door. “Hello? Is everything okay in there?”
Seungmin hiccuped, his chest still heaving.
The knock came again, along with the voice. “Seojun-ssi? Are you in there?”
Seungmin pressed his face against the wall. Someone was out there. Daddy was always telling him not to open the door but…
He fumbled with the lock on the door, not really familiar with how to use it. It took him a couple seconds, but he managed to turn it just right so that the door unlocked and he was able to grasp the door handle to open it.
He peeked out cautiously and was met with the concerned face of who must be his neighbor. Her eyes softened when she saw him, though she was probably concerned by his current state.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said, her voice gentle. “Is Seojun-ssi inside? I was just making sure that everything’s alright.”
Seungmin wasn’t exactly sure who ‘Sojun-ssi’ was, but figured she was probably referring to Daddy. He was also pretty sure that Daddy wouldn’t like him telling anyone his business, but…she looked so nice, and she was looking at Seungmin with kinder eyes than Daddy ever had.
“Daddy’s not here,” he mumbled, his voice wet from crying.
“Oh, he’s not? Is your babysitter here, then?”
Seungmin shook his head. He’d never had a babysitter. Daddy just told him to take care of himself, and usually he did a pretty good job of it.
His neighbor frowned, her eyebrows pulling together. Seungmin shied away and took a step back, sensing her unhappiness. “You’re all alone, sweetheart?”
He nodded, wanting to tell the truth but also worried of angering her.
“Do you know when he’s coming back?”
“Dunno,” he mumbled, running the fabric of his blankie anxiously through his fingers. Was he getting his Daddy in trouble?
“He didn’t say?” His neighbor asked, her eyes slowly getting more concerned. “How long has he been gone, honey?”
Seungmin shrugged again, not entirely sure. He wasn’t very good at keeping track of days. “I sleep two times since Daddy left,” he told her. “Two day?”
“You’ve been on your own for two days?” His neighbor repeated, and she took a step into the apartment. Seungmin shimmied back, watching her nervously. He brought a corner of his blankie up to his mouth and chewed on it as his neighbor started typing on her phone.
“Hang on, honey,” she said, glancing at him. “I’m just gonna make a quick call, okay?”
He nodded, standing back and watching her silently. His tummy rumbled in the silence as her phone rang and he pressed a hand to it.
He’d eaten today, but it had mostly been snacks. They weren't very good at making him feel full.
“Hello? Yes, I need the police to my location, please. I’ve got a case of little neglect.”
Little neglect? He thought, chewing anxiously. That sounded like something serious. Like something that would get Daddy in trouble. Was Daddy not supposed to be leaving him alone?
“...people coming to get you, okay?”
His neighbor was talking to him again. He looked up at her with wide eyes. “Hm?”
“I said there are some nice people coming to get you,” she repeated. “Can you tell me your name, hon?”
“Seungminie,” he mumbled, though the world was muffled through his blankie. She seemed to understand him, though.
“Seungmin? Your name is Seungmin?”
He nodded.
“And how old are you, Seungmin? Do you know?”
He shrugged. He wasn’t sure how old he was, why would that matter to him?
“Okay, that’s alright, honey. Are you hungry? Can I help you get something to eat?”
Help him? He didn’t need help to get food, he was a big boy. He had to be.
He shook his head, not really wanting to eat now anyways, despite the way his stomach was grumbling. He wanted to know who was coming, and what they were going to do.
“‘S Daddy in trouble?” He asked her, shifting his weight between his feet anxiously. “‘M not supposed to tattle on people…”
“It’s okay, hun,” his neighbor said. “You’re being really good, answering all my questions, okay? But you’re gonna have to go with the nice people that come here, they’re gonna take you with them for a little bit until they can contact your Daddy.”
He was going with them? He was going to leave? Granted, he didn’t really have too much to leave. He didn’t have a lot of possessions, and even Big Seungmin didn’t have a lot, though Big Seungmin hadn’t made an appearance in a long time. Sometimes he wondered if he still existed.
“Go where?”
“I’m not sure. I guess we’ll find out when they get here, hm? Shouldn’t be much longer.”
She was right, because soon Seungmin could hear the sound of people coming up the apartment stairs, and then there were two police officers appearing. They made straight for the open door of his apartment and Seungmin found himself taking another step or two back. It had been a while since he’d seen so many people at once. Daddy didn’t have a lot of friends over, and when he did Seungmin stayed in his bedroom.
But the police were really nice to him. They asked him a bunch of questions, like if he was hurt anywhere, when he’d last eaten, and when he’d last seen Daddy. They also asked him if Daddy left him alone a lot.
“Daddy goes to work a lot,” he told them. “Because he has to make money.”
“And your Daddy leaves you alone when he goes to work?” One of them asked him. The police officer was frowning, just like his neighbor.
“Mhm.”
“I didn’t even know there was a little living here,” his neighbor told them. “I thought it was just Sojun-ssi, and I rarely see him.”
The police talked to her a little too, asking her questions about Daddy. What he looked like, what his full name was, how long he’d been living here.
Seungmin zoned out a little. He was sleepy, since he’d usually be in bed long before now, but tonight he’d been so lonely that he’d thrown a fit. And now he’d been bad, getting his Daddy in trouble. Daddy was going to be so mad at him when he got back from his trip.
“Seungmin-ah,” one of the police officers was speaking to him again. “You’re going to come with us tonight, okay? We need to make sure you’re safe until we can find your Daddy.”
“Go where?” He asked again. The thought of leaving the apartment was scary. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done it. Not since he came to live with Daddy.
“Somewhere that is especially for littles, like you. It’ll be really nice there, and you’ll be able to get something to eat and maybe go to sleep for a little bit if you feel like it. And they’ll work on finding your Daddy, okay?”
He nodded. Going to sleep sounded nice, he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to stay awake. He was already swaying on his feet a little bit and his eyes kept drifting closed without his permission.
“Can I pick you up, sweetheart? I can carry you to the car, or you could walk if you’d prefer that.”
It was the police officer again, and Seungmin took a second to think about his words. Daddy had never carried him, not once. So he didn’t really need it.
“Can walk,” he told them, putting on a brave face. “And I bring blankie?”
“Of course,” the other officer, the girl, told him. “We won’t take blankie from you, I promise. Come on, now. Can you hold my hand?”
But Seungmin stayed rooted on the spot. “And ipad,” he told her. “Need ipad.” It was very, very important that he had his ipad. He didn’t know what he would do without it.
“Oh, you have an ipad?” The police officer asked. “Well, let’s go get it then. Can you show me where it is?”
Seungmin took her through the apartment to his bedroom, looking nervously over his shoulder. It felt weird to have her in here. No one ever went into his bedroom.
It was a plain room, with just a bed and a dresser for his clothing, but on his bed was his ipad and he ran to it, picking it up tightly and holding it to his chest along with his blankie. “Charger,” he told the police officer as he walked around to the other side of the bed where a charger was attached to the wall.
“Hang on, let me get that for you,” she said, rushing forward. “You shouldn’t touch outlets, Seungmin-ah, okay? You could get hurt, it’s best to let an adult handle that.”
Seungmin was confused, because Daddy didn’t care if he touched outlets, but he let the police officer take his charger out of the wall and hand it to him.
“Anything else you need right away? The rest of your stuff can be collected later.”
Seungmin shook his head and they returned to the front of the apartment. This time when they made to leave and she offered her hand to him, Seungmin took it hesitantly. He followed the police out of the apartment when they started walking, and they took him down the stairs and out the main entrance where there was a police car waiting for them.
“Have you ever been in a police car, Seungmin-ah?” The man asked him. “It’s pretty fun!”
He shook his head, holding his blankie tight as they helped him climb in. The man had taken a carseat out of the trunk and after he attached it to the car he strapped Seungmin into it tightly so that he couldn’t get out of it.
“It’s not too far to where we’re going,” he reassured him, and then he was climbing into the passenger seat.
Seungmin’s eyes closed as the car started down the road, and he brought his blankie up to his face as he lost the battle against sleep, drifting off to the calming music one of the officers must have put on.
🧸🧸🧸
“Seungmin-ah, we’re here,” was what he woke up to. There was a hand on his knee, and when he opened his eyes the female police officer was looking at him. “Can I carry you inside, or would you like to walk again?”
He was tired, so tired that this time he nodded and held his arms out for her once she’d unbuckled his carseat. She cooed and lifted him out, holding him securely against her hip.
“You’re a cutie,” she told him, and Seungmin blushed. He kind of liked being carried
The building that she carried him into was…bright. It was colorful, with walls painted all kinds of fun colors, and there were drawings scattered all over them, looking like a bunch of different littles had all contributed.
He was carried past all that, though, and the room he was eventually put down in was calmer and less…overwhelming. There was a lady waiting for them there, and as the police officer set Seungmin down in a chair, they began to talk very quickly with one another.
Seungmin was too tired to really keep track of what they were saying, but he caught snippets of them mentioning him being alone, details about his Daddy, and something about foster care. What was foster care? He even thought he heard them say something about a ‘Lee family.’ Who were they?
“Seungmin-ah,” the police officer said eventually, getting his attention. “I’m leaving now, okay? You’re going to stay here with Hayoon-ssi, alright? She’s very nice, and she’s going to explain everything to you.”
Seungmin’s brain felt like it was holding too much information. She was leaving, and he was staying with this new person? She did look very nice, but he didn’t know what was going on right now and he kind of wanted to go back to sleep.
“Hi, Seungmin-ah,” Hayoon said. And then, like she was reading his mind, “I bet this has all been really confusing for you.”
He nodded, his eyes still drooping and it was hard to keep Hayoon in focus.
She smiled at him. “And it looks like you’re really tired, too. It is very late, when littles should be fast asleep. Hopefully we’ll get you there soon, but there are some things I need to talk to you about before that, okay?”
She waited for him to nod again before continuing. “This building you’re in is part of the foster care system we have here in Seoul. Do you know what foster care is, Seungmin-ah?”
He shook his head.
“That’s okay, I didn’t expect you to. Foster care is when littles go live with another family for a little bit, a family that takes care of them until they can move to a more permanent home. Does that make sense to you?”
“Going to another home?” He asked, fighting the urge to chew his blankie again.
“Yes, tonight you’re going to go home with a family. They’re on their way here now, actually. It’s the Lee family, and they’re very good at taking care of littles. They’re going to love you, I know it.”
“But when is Daddy coming home?” He asked her. “Daddy won’t like that I’m not there.”
He could see her fighting to keep the smile on her face. “I’m not sure when your Daddy is coming home, but we’re trying to contact him. It’s…not very good of your Daddy to leave you alone, though, Seungmin-ah. Do you know that?”
He shrugged. He hadn’t really thought about it much. He had asked Daddy before, mostly when he’d first gone to live with him, if he could stay home more often. But Daddy had always said that work was important and Seungmin should be grateful that he was working hard to afford him a home, food, and clothes.
“Daddy works hard,” is all he said, and Hayoon nodded sadly.
“Yes, I’m sure he does. Do you understand what I said about foster families, though? The Lee family is going to take you home with them tonight, and you’ll be staying with them for a little bit.”
He nodded again. He understood, even though he was still confused. He was staying with them until Daddy got home? How would Daddy know where he was?
But before he could ask anymore questions there was a ding from Hayoon’s phone and she picked it up. “Ah, looks like they’re here, hon. I was hoping to tell you a little bit about them first but they live nearby so it was a quick drive for them. It’s just two of them for now, though I’m sure you’ll meet the rest of them in the morning. Is it okay if they come in to introduce themselves?”
Did he have a choice? But he nodded anyway, too tired to come up with any words.
“Okay, I’ll let them know to head back here.”
She typed on her phone for a second and it was only a minute or so later that there was a soft knock on the door.
Hayoon stood up to let them in, and when she opened the door it felt like Seungmin’s entire world was being rocked. Minho?
🧸🧸🧸
One of Seungmin’s first possessions had been an ipad. His first caregiver had given it to him, what seemed like a long time ago, now. She had told him it was a nice way for him to entertain himself so she could pay more attention to the baby.
Seungmin had struggled to use his ipad at first, not really sure what to do with it, but eventually he’d gotten the hang of it and he’d found his way to an app that let him play a whole lot of videos and that’s where he’d found Minho.
Seungmin had been hooked on the first video. A simple ten minute video of Minho reading a children’s book in the softest, most soothing voice Seungmin had ever heard. He remembered pushing his face as close to the screen as possible as if he could get closer to the caregiver. And when the video was done, he’d discovered that Minho had tons more just like it.
He’d fallen asleep that night to Minho reading various books to him, and it had been the best sleep of his life that he could remember.
After that, he’d watched Minho’s videos almost every night, and he continued to be amazed by how nice and gentle the caregiver seemed. He wasn’t anything like Seungmin’s caregiver who barely knew he existed. When Minho was on his ipad, it felt like he was talking directly to him. Like Minho knew him, and cared about him. The videos helped him sleep when he was tired, they helped him calm down when he was angry, and they helped him cheer up when he was sad. There was never an occasion where he didn’t crave Minho’s voice coming through his screen.
The caregiver made other videos too, besides reading ones. Sometimes Minho would do arts and crafts, sometimes he would do educational videos and teach Seungmin about different animals or different countries, sometimes he would do cooking or baking episodes where he would talk to Seungmin while he prepared a meal. And sometimes, Seungmin’s absolute favorite type of video, he would sing.
Minho’s voice was beautiful, and it always put Seungmin to sleep the easiest. He would sing lullabies, quiet songs, and sometimes he would even sing songs that his other family members had written.
Sometimes Minho would be joined by another little. Their faces were never shown, but they would sit next to Minho or sit on his lap while he sang or talked. It always stirred an ugly feeling inside of him when that happened, a feeling he couldn’t really understand. He preferred to watch the videos which were just Minho, and luckily that was the majority of them.
For years now he’s been watching the caregiver on his ipad. Minho was a safe place, someone he could go to when his first caregiver chose the baby over him or when Daddy left him alone for long hours of the day. Minho was always there, always available, never too busy for him.
🧸🧸🧸
And now he was standing in front of him with that same, gentle smile on his face.
“Seungmin-ah,” Hayoon was saying. “This is Minho-ssi and Jeongin-ssi from the Lee family. They’re going to take you home with them tonight.”