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Twilight shivers, pulling her jacket closer around herself. Her breath comes out in a frosty cloud and she pulls her scarf up higher. She’s sat alone on a park bench and has been there long enough for the cold air to settle on her body, leaving her cold no matter what she does. She hadn’t planned on spending much time outside today, which was why she was wearing a lighter jacket instead of her snow coat. She regrets that now. But as cold as she is, she stays rooted to her spot on the bench, too upset to move.
Besides, where would she go? She ruined her plans for the day and doesn’t want to go back home and pretend that nothing is wrong. So she sits, alone and miserable, in the cold.
Her phone buzzes a few times. She ignores it.
Her scarf now covers her mouth, keeping the people around her from seeing her red face. She hopes people can’t see her watery eyes, either. It’s surprisingly busy in the park, especially considering how cold and snowy it is out today. (Or perhaps Twilight is just a shut-in.) Most people ignore her, but a few do give her odd looks. One older woman even comes up to her and asks if she’s okay.
Twilight doesn’t answer her.
Once she’s left alone again, her mind wanders back to earlier that morning.
God, why did she talk herself into doing it? She should’ve known it was a horrible idea from the second it crossed her mind. If she could’ve just kept her stupid mouth shut then none of this would’ve happened and she wouldn’t have to be alone right now. She whimpers miserably, burying her face even further into her scarf.
She wishes a portal would open underneath the bench and swallow her whole.
“Twilight?”
She immediately perks up at the sound of Sunset’s voice, misery forgotten for a moment. Unburying her face from her scarf, she looks up at her friend. Sunset made the wise decision of putting on a coat and snow boots before coming out here and looks significantly warmer than Twilight feels. (Though it’s clear that she was rushing to get dressed, as she’s still wearing pajama pants.) Her hair is still up in a ponytail, though a few loose strands frame her face, and her ears are covered with earmuffs. What truly catches Twilight’s eye, though, is Sunset’s expression: she smiles softly, almost apologetically, at Twilight.
Sunset’s expression is hard to read, but Twilight thinks she’s being pitied.
“Hey.” Sunset says softly, sitting down next to Twilight. There’s enough distance between them that it’s not uncomfortable.
Twilight hums a greeting, but it comes out more like a nervous squeak. Her voice locks up, so no matter how hard she wants to speak, she can’t. She turns her gaze away from Sunset to look back at the ground. Her eyes start to water again, fogging up her glasses. She’s determined to not let Sunset know that, though.
“I’d get it if you didn’t wanna talk to me.” Sunset lets out a small, bitter laugh before sighing. “I kinda… messed everything up. I’m sorry.”
“No, this is all my fault.” Twilight mumbles, suddenly finding her voice. She can’t bear to hear her friend blame herself for everything that's happened today. She rubs her eyes as discreetly as she can.
Sunset reaches a hand out, like she wants to grab Twilight’s. At the last second, though, she decides not to, instead deciding to fidget with her hair. “It’s not. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It was really stupid— I was really stupid. And when you ran out, I panicked.” She grabs her phone from her coat pocket. “I tried calling you a few times. But, yknow, like I said, I’d get it if you didn’t want to talk to me.”
So that’s what the buzzing was, Twilight thinks.
When Twilight doesn’t say anything else, Sunset speaks again. “Are you okay?” Her voice is full of concern. It makes Twilight's stomach twist. Twilight nods slightly. She doesn’t trust her voice to not shake should she try to talk.
“…do you wanna talk about what happened?”
Twilight had come to Sunset’s apartment, like usual, for their bookclub. Or, at least, it had started as a bookclub. In the past two months or so, it had blurred into a sometimes weekly hangout between just the two of them. They had read books, watched movies, and played video games together.
Sunset had also kept coming up with new ideas of things to do together, still just the two of them. Twilight wasn’t sure why Sunset was planning so much for them to do together, but she enjoyed every second of it.
Before they started their movie this time, however, Twilight worked up the courage to say what she had been planning for weeks. “Sunset?”
“Hm?” Sunset hummed, distractedly. Her eyes were still on the tv.
Twilight swallowed nervously. Her words came out quietly and awkwardly, “I have to tell you something.”
Sunset turned to look at her, a small smile on her lips. “Okay?”
Twilight took a deep breath, before blurting out, “I think I have a crush on you, have for a long time actually, I think — I’ve never had a crush before, at least, none that I’ve been aware of, so I'm really not sure — but if you’d be open to it, I’d really like to go out on a date sometime, like we could go out to the movies or get dinner or go to the library and read together or… something.”
She then mentally applauded herself for doing that without the notecards she had prepared.
At some point during her speech, she had squeezed her eyes shut, without even realizing it. So she slowly opened them then, nervous but hopeful at what she would find in front of her.
Sunset’s expression was nothing short of confused.
Twilight could almost hear her heart breaking into a million pieces. She wished she hadn’t opened her eyes. She almost wished she hadn’t even come over that morning.
“I… What? Twilight, what are you talking about?”
“I— uh—“ Twilight mumbled, panicked. This was a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake. Her heart, shattered though it was, had been beating fast and loud enough to rival Pinkie’s drum. Her throat felt dry and scratchy. Maybe it had all gone to her eyes? She had certainly felt ready to cry.
Her last coherent thought was that she wished she had brought her notecards after all.
“Nevermind, forget that I said anything—“ And it was then that Twilight decided to leave. Or, more accurately, decided to run out of Sunset’s apartment, just barely grabbing her jacket and shoes in her rush.
“Twilight?”
Twilight shakes her head, clearing the memory away. “Not really. Sorry.” She adds the apology as an afterthought.
The silence drags on for a few moments. She hopes that Sunset will leave, letting her soak in her misery for a little longer. But another part of her, a much larger part of her, prays that Sunset doesn’t.
Then Sunset finally speaks again. “Twi…” She starts, in that same, gentle tone she keeps using. And Twilight knows exactly what's coming.
All those same fears and insecurities from this morning come rushing back, flooding her brain. She can almost hear what Sunset is going to say next: that they’re better as friends, that she doesn’t feel the same way, that she could never feel the same way. Maybe there’s someone else, someone better or cooler than Twilight. She might be able to understand, if that were the case. Or maybe she misread everything and Sunset isn’t even into women.
Then again, maybe Twilight has ruined everything. Maybe Sunset wants nothing to do with her now and her demeanor is a way of softening the blow. She almost covers her ears with her hands. Here it comes, she thinks, the moment her strongest and closest friendship dies because she ruined it all. If she had just shut up—
“…I reacted the way I did because… I thought we were already dating.”
Twilight whimpers quietly, tears nearly threatening to spill over until her brain finally catches up to what Sunset said.
Wait.
What?
Twilight turns to look at Sunset, eyes wide open and wet. Sunset smiles sheepishly. “I thought you were just taking things slow. So when you asked me out — for the first actual time, I guess — I was just really confused. And then you ran out and… now we're here.”
Twilight runs the words around in her head. She rubs her eyes again, then wipes the fog from her glasses. Her heart is beating wildly again, albeit for a completely different reason this time. “You thought we were already dating?”
”Mhm.”
”For how long?”
Sunset blushes slightly. Is she embarrassed? Twilight wonders. “A month. Ever since we saw that movie in theaters together.”
And Twilight remembers that day, remembers how they had sat together, holding hands and sharing popcorn, like they always did. She also remembers Sunset and her walking around this very park afterwards, and how Sunset kept staring at her, at her mouth.
At the time, Twilight assumed she had something stuck in her teeth.
But… had Sunset wanted to kiss her?
Oh god.
Twilight blushes hard at the thought. She buries her face into her scarf again, mildly freaking out. Did this mean she had a girlfriend? For a month? Without even realizing it?
How could she have been so oblivious this entire time??
All these weeks of freaking out, of meticulously planning exactly how she'd ask Sunset out, the dozens of notecards she wasted because she couldn’t figure out the words to say… all of it was pointless because they’ve been dating for a month.
Twilight doesn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or slap herself.
It's at that moment, Twilight realizes that Sunset is still talking, “—But, again, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad or anything and… Twilight? Are you okay? Your face is really red.”
How Sunset can tell that from under Twilight's scarf, she doesn’t know.
Twilight takes a moment before responding. Her voice comes out higher than she wants it to. “Does this make us girlfriends? If we’re dating? Should we be going out on dates and stuff now? Is that why you kept inviting me over? Should we be holding hands? And kissing and cuddling? I’ve never been in a relationship before but I’ve seen how Rarity and Applejack are—“
”Twi.” Sunset says gently, but firmly, interrupting Twilight’s spiral. “I’d love to be your girlfriend and go on dates with you.” She mutters lightheartedly, “Especially since I thought we already were.” Louder, she continues on, “But as for the other stuff? We don’t have to do anything unless we want to. I know this is a lot all at once, but… we can figure it out together, if you want to.”
Twilight nods, a small smile forming on her lips. “I’d like that.”
Sunset smiles back, eyes bright and shining. She leans in closer to Twilight. “Is there anything you’d like to do, now that we’re officially together?”
Kiss is the first thought that pops into Twilight's mind. But the thought makes her stomach twist and her face heat. So, she settles for, “Can we hold hands?” The request is quiet and nervous, but Sunset hears her nonetheless.
”Of course.” Sunset takes her hand. Her friend— her girlfriend scoots in closer until she can rest her head on Twilight’s shoulder. “Is this okay?”
Twilight smiles even wider. She leans her head against Sunset’s. “It’s perfect.” And despite the cold all around them, Twilight feels completely warm, inside and out.