Work Text:
Whatever happened, it is to be noted that Jihyo is most definitely not in love with Sana. This entire situation would have been easily avoided if not for Yoo Jeongyeon. It had started with Jeongyeon casually asking Jihyo, “So when are you finally going to tell Sana that you’re in love with her?”
Thanking the heavens that the two were on a solo date without the other members, Jihyo turned to Jeongyeon, absolutely appalled. “I am not in love with Sana, what are you even on about?” She asked, jaw dropping open.
Jeongyeon looked confused for a moment before rolling her eyes. “I thought you got over the denial phase years ago, Hyo. No wonder it was taking so freaking long for you two to get together.” She muttered to herself.
Jihyo felt like she got slapped. Denial? That she was in love with Sana? What a preposterous assumption. But wait. That wasn’t all. Get together? Like a couple? She and Sana were close friends, and that was it. There was no way Jihyo was in love with Sana.
Was there?
one.
It had been a rather uneventful day, and Jihyo was in the process of going to sleep early in order to make sure she was ready for her schedule the next day. She picked up her phone to do some scrolling before she fell asleep, but the first thing she saw was that Sana had posted on Instagram.
Misamo were currently in Japan to promote their new album, so it had been a while since Jihyo had last seen Sana. Sure, they called and texted regularly, but it was still a far cry from seeing one another in person.
Jihyo stared at the images Sana had posted, at Sana’s face staring back at her through the screen. In one picture, Sana was smiling happily at the camera and in the next, she was looking at the camera with that serious expression that Jihyo could only describe as being incredibly sexy. The duality of this woman…
Jihyo stared. How could she not? Okay, and maybe she was staring just a little too hard. She swiped back and forth between the pictures, starting to feel a little dizzy. This gorgeous woman was her best friend, her jjakkung. Woah.
Unfortunately, Jihyo was all too familiar with the way her brain turned to mush whenever she looked at any photo of Sana. Whether it was their album jacket photos, her concert photos, or…her Instagram post during promotions when they were nearly 800 miles away from each other. The woman was just unfairly gorgeous, and Jihyo had eyes. It wasn’t like she was admiring every single detail about Sana, anyway.
Unknowingly, Jihyo’s gaze dipped to Sana’s lips. Always so pink and kissable, whether or not she had lipstick on. Not that Jihyo regularly noticed, of course. Jihyo briefly wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips once, feel them against her own. What would Sana taste like? Sweet, definitely, and…
Pause.
Was she really thinking about kissing her best friend? Jihyo felt a little guilty but mainly very embarrassed, grateful not for the first time that no one else but herself had access to the thoughts in her head. She was willing to admit that this wasn’t the first time, not even close, that she had imagined kissing Sana. What was wrong with her?
Perhaps it was normal to be having these kinds of thoughts? It was perfectly fine to wonder what it would be like to kiss one’s best friend regularly, even though said thought was never actually acted upon. It was just curiosity, and Sana never had to find out. Besides, it was probably just because of whatever nonsense Jeongyeon had said that Jihyo was overthinking this so much.
As if on cue, Jihyo’s phone vibrated with a message. She cast one last longing look at Sana’s post (why longing, she had no idea) before checking the message.
It was from Sana. Of course.
It read: “Jjakk-i, I miss you. What are you doing now?”
“I miss you.” Sana had missed her. Jihyo tried her best to tamper down the butterflies in her stomach, lips stretching into an uncontrollable smile. It was almost as if Sana didn’t tell her the very same thing nearly everyday. But that was fine. Jihyo was also a girl missing her best friend every day.
The universe seemed to decide that the ‘I miss you’ wasn’t enough, because attached in the next message was a selfie, and Jihyo guessed that Sana had just showered. Her hair was still wet, lips fixed in the deadly pout that Jihyo was only too familiar with being on the receiving end of. Unbidden, a familiar thought entered Jihyo’s mind. How was Sana still the most gorgeous girl Jihyo had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes upon even without any makeup?
You’re pathetic, Jihyo thought to herself. However, she was helpless to stop the next thought that filled her mind.
Neomu yeppeo, Sana-yah. So many dangerous thoughts that she always had that would forever remain as only that. A thought in Jihyo’s head.
“I miss you too, Sana-yah. I was about to go to sleep. How about you, how is everything?” Jihyo replied, attaching her own selfie to the message.
Sana’s reply was immediate, as if she had been waiting on Jihyo’s response. Unlike Jihyo, she had no problem with complimenting her jjakkung. “Still so pretty before bed, Jihyo-yah. I just showered, going to do some monitoring before I go to sleep too.”
There was a pause, then another message came in. “Rest well, jjakk-i. As always, I love you. See you soon!”
I love you.
Jihyo’s mind flashed briefly back to her and Jeongyeon’s conversation, but she shook it off. Love could be platonic too. She and Sana were platonic best friends. Platonic best friends who said “I love you” to each other everyday, platonic best friends who cuddled regularly, platonic best friends who nearly kissed once on stage, platonic best friends who…
They were platonic, right?
Jihyo shook her head, trying to clear the traitorous thoughts. Damn Yoo Jeongyeon. She was sure Sana had meant it platonically.
She dropped a few hearts in response to Sana’s message, turning her phone off and trying to go to sleep.
The word ‘trying’ being used as an imperative. If only a certain brown eyed, hamster-like girl would just leave her mind…
two.
Sana thrived on physical affection. Everyone knew that. Jihyo, on the other hand, did not enjoy physical affection even half as much. Everyone also knew that. Different people had different likes and dislikes, and touching was just something Jihyo didn’t feel strongly inclined toward. All this was why Jihyo was currently wondering why she was battling the very strong temptation to walk up to where Sana was currently talking to a few of the other members and hug her.
Jihyo wasn’t so extreme that she would be considered touch-averse, but her friends sometimes liked to call her that. Not because Jihyo hated physical touch, but because she barely ever initiated it of her own accord. And yet, ‘touch adverse’ Jihyo wanted to hug Sana. Not for any particular reason, she just wanted to.
Jihyo didn’t feel particularly shocked at this weird urge, because just like other weird urges she often got around Sana, Jihyo had grown used to it. She chalked it up to the fact that they hadn’t seen one another for nearly a month due to Misamo’s promotions. That was why Jihyo missed her best friend’s physical touch, just a little bit. It wasn’t like she craved it, or anything. It wasn’t like Jihyo was always finding ways to be touching Sana whenever they were around each other…
Feeling nervous for no particular reason, Jihyo stood up from where she had been resting, making a valiant attempt to walk confidently and nonchalantly toward where the few of them were gathered like she was extremely unbothered.
Upon reaching them, she heard Nayeon talking with the rest listening. Jihyo casually (or as casually as she could manage) wrapped her arms around Sana’s waist from behind, head perched on Sana’s shoulder.
She pretended to be listening to whatever Nayeon was saying, discreetly tightening her grip around Sana’s waist and making herself comfortable. Sana wouldn’t mind, right?
Would she think it was weird? Sana usually initiated any form of physical closeness between them, and even though Jihyo liked to act annoyed at first, she could never deny the warmth she felt whenever it happened. It also worked in Jihyo’s favour because she would never be awkward about initiating first, like she was doing now.
Jihyo was starting to overthink when Sana pulled away from the hug, and Jihyo felt instant panic overcome her. Sana definitely thought she was being weird!
To Jihyo’s surprise, rather than question why Park Jihyo, who was famous for “hating” physical affection, was suddenly hugging someone of her own accord, Sana simply swapped their positions. Now Jihyo was in front of Sana, and Jihyo felt Sana’s arms wrap around her waist. Sana had bent down a bit such that her head could sit comfortably on Jihyo’s shoulder. Cute. Jihyo liked this new position. The butterflies in her stomach seemed to agree.
She ignored the suspicious look Jeongyeon gave her, choosing instead to hold Sana’s hands that were wrapped around her. She could almost feel Sana’s smile.
This was fine. Best friends did this all the time.
If Jihyo were being honest with herself, she had been enjoying Sana’s physical affection for years now. Perhaps somewhere in the back of her mind, she was well aware that this sudden craving to be touching Sana was not new and it definitely was not just because she had missed her best friend for a month.
Jihyo was not about to over-analyse that though, choosing instead to enjoy the warmth that was enveloping her.
.
.
.
In the next few days, Jihyo was acutely aware of how much she seemed to be relying on Sana’s physical affecton.
When they had breaks during dance practices, Jihyo would find herself naturally wandering over to where Sana was sitting, either directly sitting on her lap or pressing up against Sana. When going out with the entire group, more often than not, Jihyo found herself reaching for Sana’s hand, clasping it tightly in her own.
And Sana just let her.
Of course, Sana initiated physical contact by herself too, sometimes running over to hug Jihyo and pepper kisses all over her face (her watch had notified her that her heart rate was abnormally high after that), or just holding her hand out of nowhere.
This wasn’t new between them, usually with Sana initiating touches and Jihyo accommodating her. But now, especially after that damned conversation Jihyo had with Jeongyeon, Jihyo was so much more aware of how she seemed to be enjoying Sana’s touch rather than tolerating it.
That couldn’t be good.
Perhaps, Jihyo reasoned with herself, even as she lay comfortably in Sana’s lap after one of their schedules, Sana’s hands combing through her hair in a very soothing way, she had simply gotten used to physical affection, so she wasn’t as averse to it anymore, maybe sometimes welcoming it, no matter who it was from.
That was exactly it, Jihyo thought, congratulating herself on finding a reasonable explanation for her behaviour, even as she snuggled closer to Sana, close to falling asleep.
What Jihyo wouldn’t admit to herself, was that she knew that she hardly ever initiated physical contact with any of the other members- or any of her friends for that matter. The little voice inside was telling her that when it came to other people, it truly was tolerance for their physical touch. When it came to Sana though…
Jihyo didn’t let herself finish that thought.
Her needing Sana’s physical touch. The very thought was absurd. Jihyo being in love with Sana?
That was straight up impossible.
three.
Jihyo didn’t get jealous. Jealousy was a fickle emotion, and Jihyo was anything but fickle.
It was true that Jihyo didn’t usually get jealous; she had no reason to be jealous of anyone or anything. But when it came to a certain girl…
Jihyo liked to name the now-familiar emotion as protectiveness. It was unfortunately familiar to her because had noticed a pattern; this feeling only ever surfaced around well, Sana. Sure, she got protective over her other members too because they were her friends too, and she was their leader. However, Jihyo had to grudgingly admit it was definitely different from the way she felt about Sana. Maybe Jihyo was just super protective of Sana because she was the group’s sunshine and Jihyo’s jjakkung…it didn’t have to mean anything.
(Jihyo would later realise that it definitely meant something and that feeling was very obviously, jealousy.)
Jihyo was not jealous. There was absolutely no reason why she should be looking at the male idol that Sana was currently talking to with absolute distaste. Her hands twitched where they lay by her sides with the urge to do something to get him away from her. She didn’t even know his name, and she wasn’t very inclined to find out.
It wasn’t like Sana was the only one talking to the male idols; they had run into one of the new rookie boy groups after their Inkigayo performance, and it was just normal that they exchanged pleasantries and chatted a little. The other members were also talking to the group, but Jihyo just didn’t like how one of them in particular was standing a little closer than was necessary to Sana. Jihyo got it, she really did, that Sana was a super popular, super pretty idol and she deserved all the attention she was getting.
But, Jihyo thought a little petulantly, the other seven members were also super popular and pretty. Why was it Sana in particular that this guy had fixated on?
Jihyo glanced at the bright smile Sana had directed toward him, as well as the way she nodded as she listened attentively to whatever he was saying.
Fine. Maybe Jihyo was sulking a little. She stood a little further from the rest like she was just observing everyone, but there was a small pout on her face. She could feel it on her face, and she was moody. This probably wasn’t very good for her idol image, but Jihyo had other matters to fret over, other matters being a girl she definitely did not have feelings for flirting with a male idol in front of her.
Sana seemed to notice Jihyo’s unusual silence, turning around to stare at her mid-conversation. She reached her hand out, gesturing for Jihyo to join her. After a short moment of hesitation Jihyo took her hand, stepping forward. The moment they made contact, cringe as it may be, Jihyo felt the sense of annoyance lift off her almost immediately. The male idol greeted Jihyo with a polite nod, but it was obvious that his focus was on Sana. Jihyo felt disgruntled all over again. Not in the slightest because she wasn’t getting attention (Jihyo knew she wasn’t lacking attention), but because of…yeah.
Jihyo felt annoyed for reasons she’d rather not examine, and instead of letting go of Sana’s arm once she was standing beside her, Jihyo chose to wrap said arm around her own shoulders. She held it there for a few seconds, just to make sure Sana understood, then let go. The sense of victory Jihyo felt when Sana’s hand didn’t drop from her shoulders was unrivaled and Jihyo may have smirked a little smugly at the male idol.
I win.
And Jihyo didn’t stop there. Now that she had Sana’s arm firmly around her shoulders, Jihyo had no qualms about wrapping her own arms around Sana in a hug. She wound her arms tight, pressing herself into Sana like she could mold them together as one out of sheer willpower. If Sana noticed her odd behaviour, she didn’t comment.
Jihyo pretended to listen to whatever the male idol was saying, something about recent comebacks and hoping for more opportunities to interact, but really she was just breathing Sana in and enjoying the way the guy’s eyes kept flicking to Sana’s arm on Jihyo’s shoulder and Jihyo tucked into Sana.
Mine, Jihyo tried to convey through her eyes. Even though the alarm bells that this wasn’t best friend behaviour were going off in her head, she chose to ignore them, just for now.
Eventually the conversation subsided (even though the fiery feeling in Jihyo did not). The other group left, that one guy turning back one last time as if Sana would still be watching him. Sana wasn’t, but Jihyo was, and that was how she had seen it. Sana was, well, brushing Jihyo’s hair from her face, her other arm coming up to properly hug Jihyo. So, yeah, Jihyo was feeling pretty damn proud that that was the view the male idol saw. She even had the childish urge to stick her tongue out at him, but the mature and reasonable adult in her refrained.
“Jealous?” Sana asked teasingly, still hugging Jihyo, her voice slightly muffled by Jihyo’s shoulder. How Sana even knew that was beyond Jihyo, but it wasn’t jealousy. It was protectiveness. That guy could have been harmful to Sana for all they knew!
“Of course not.” Jihyo replied, even as she hugged Sana closer. “My jjakkung.” Jihyo couldn’t resist saying. That was somewhat acceptable to say at least, because it was true. Sana was Jihyo’s jjakkung just like how Jihyo was Sana’s jjakkung. Partners.
Platonically, of course. They stayed that way for a while, Jihyo trying to soak in as much of Sana as she could. It would be a bonus if people said that she smelled like Sana. (Again, alarm bells that were ignored.)
“Oi, lovebirds! Time to go!” Jeongyeon said, tsk-ing as she walked past them. “Not slick, Park Jihyo,” she continued, close to Jihyo’s ear but not close enough such that Sana couldn’t hear it. They were, after all, intertwined.
Jihyo’s face burned as she pulled back from Sana’s embrace, hoping she didn’t read too much into whatever nonsense Jeongyeon said. To her dismay, there was a small smirk on Sana’s face even though Jihyo could not figure out why. Was there something funny she was missing?
“Let’s go, my jjakkung.” Sana said, grabbing Jihyo’s hand and following after the other members. Their fingers laced together like they had hundreds of times already, and Jihyo couldn’t stop the warmth she felt spreading from Sana’s familiar touch. Suck that, male-idol-whom-Jihyo-did-not-know-the-name-of.
So yeah, as you can see, Jihyo was most definitely not jealous.
But that wasn’t even all. Oh, no. Jihyo’s “protectiveness” extended to when Sana was interacting with the other members too. Recently, there had been a lot of hype around the “Sanayeon kiss” that had happened by accident during their ninth anniversary fanmeet.
(The moment it had happened, Jihyo had practically shoved Nayeon away as Sana fell to the ground in shock. It looked like she was simply making sure her group member didn’t miss her lines, but in reality her impulsiveness had consumed her. Whatever had just happened made Jihyo feel a lot of things, none of them good.)
Even months after the fanmeet was over, fans still found the kiss to be a hot topic and kept bringing it up at events and concerts. It was annoying. Jihyo pretended not to see whenever Sana indulged in fanservice with Nayeon because of it. Rather, she worked harder in her fanservice as if she could “out fanservice” Sana. Her target was usually Momo, because for some reason their fans seemed to love seeing them together.
Fanservice is just fanservice, Jihyo thought, smiling for the cameras even as she posed beside Momo. Their arms were linked and, predictably, the fans went crazy.
Now, Jihyo could have sworn that barely a minute ago, Sana had been all the way at the other end of the stage (it was really quite a distance away because they were performing on a 360 degree stage) doing fanservice with Nayeon. However, she suddenly felt a tug at her waist and when she detached from Momo, she found Sana beside her. How was Sana there? She wasn’t even supposed to be on this side of the stage; during this particular moment Sana was allocated to be at the other end.
Momo also looked confused, but the moment she saw Sana’s arm around Jihyo’s waist, understanding dawned on her face. She held her hands up in mock surrender, walking over to take Sana’s original spot. Even walking over took a pretty decent amount of time, so there was no way Sana could have reached them so fast unless…she had run.
Aishhh no way Sana had run across the entire stage just to what…separate Jihyo and Momo?
(When Jihyo watched the fancams later that night, she found the moment when Sana had looked across the stage and saw Jihyo and Momo posing together. She had dropped Nayeon’s arm so fast and yes, literally sprinted the entire length of the stage.)
“What are you doing here?” Jihyo asked Sana, removing one of her in-ear monitors to talk to her. She silently gulped at the way Sana’s arm was around her waist, nearly her whole waist, fingers splayed across Jihyo’s abs.
Sana didn’t give her a reply, smoothly singing her line without missing a beat before bringing Jihyo closer to the edge of the stage. The fans were screaming, of course they were, and Sana leaned down slightly to kiss Jihyo’s cheek. Not just a quick peck, but a lingering kiss. Jihyo could practically feel the imprint of Sana’s lips even after she had withdrawn. She was so shocked that she missed her line in the song, the backtrack noticeably softer causing the other members to glance over. After all, it wasn’t everyday that their responsible, professional leader missed her lines in a song.
Meanwhile, the fans were going crazy. Sana was smiling cheekily, glancing at Jihyo before pointing at her own cheek. Jihyo hesitated. Fanservice. It’s just fanservice, Jihyo told herself, tiptoeing to press a quick kiss on Sana’s cheek too. Sana’s cheek was so soft, but it wasn’t like she didn’t already know that.
Fanservice completed, Jihyo turned, ready to move back to the main stage for their next song. But Sana still didn’t let go of her waist. “Let’s go together, Jihyo-yah.” Sana said. Jihyo nodded, of course, but Sana wasn’t finished. “Unless you want to go with Momo instead, of course.”
Jihyo turned to look at Sana incredulously, and while her tone was playful, her eyes conveyed a different message. Yeah, Jihyo recognised that look well. After all, she often wore it whenever she was around a certain Minatozaki Sana.
.
Jihyo wisely shook her head, curling her own arm around Sana as they made their way back to the main stage together, smiling and waving to their fans the entire way like the professionals they were.
Not a single one of the fans noticed the way Jihyo shivered when Sana gently scratched her nails over Jihyo’s abs, and Jihyo was secretly happy when she noticed the Sanayeon banner from earlier drop down.
Okay, maybe Jihyo was a little fickle.
four.
As idols, they were no strangers to all the rumors around them. Some of them were absurd, but some were actually believable and once in a blue moon, some were even true. The most dreaded rumors were the dating ones, because those resulted in the most speculation. Sometimes, untrue rumors were not directly denied because it was good for popularity, or simply because it was none of their fans’ business and the company wanted to keep their idols’ privacy.
Among the group, they had been mostly free from dating rumors throughout all the years they had been active, and it was just an unfortunate coincidence that some random news outlet had decided that rumors involving Twice’s leader Park Jihyo would gain them a lot of attention.
Which brought them to their current predicament. About an hour ago, a news outlet (very new, from what Jihyo had seen) had announced that she was dating some athlete by the name of Sungbin. Nevermind that Jihyo had only met him once in person, the rumor was gaining crazy traction, spreading like wildfire.
All nine members of Twice had been in Jihyo’s house when the rumor had started for a kind of impromptu sleepover. That was good, anyway, so their management could easily share information and instructions to all of them at the same time. The staff had first called Jihyo; after all, she was the one involved in the rumor. The other members had leaned closer to eavesdrop as the staff told Jihyo about everything that was being speculated, and just like Jihyo had expected, they weren’t going to explicitly deny the rumor. A few of her members went online to read the articles and speculations by fans, but in all honesty it all faded to the background for Jihyo.
The reason?
From the moment Jihyo had received the call, her only worry had been the woman currently tucked into her side. Sana had managed to hear the entire call because she was practically sprawled over Jihyo’s lap, and Jihyo worried about how she viewed the entire situation.
Now, in hindsight, Jihyo’s reaction as she acted upon that fear had been straight up ridiculous. Common sense should have told her as much, but at that point in time, the moment she saw Sana’s face fall, pure terror overtook her, overriding any logical thought. Why terror? Because the idea that Sana may assume Jihyo was dating someone else and hence feel hurt scared her.
Yes, she and Sana were not dating and yes, Jihyo still did not have feelings for her best friend. As mentioned, her common sense had completely eluded her in that very moment. So naturally, she did something that she would be made fun of for the next decade.
Jihyo quickly cut the call after hearing the staff say that they wouldn’t be denying the rumor, tossing her phone away somewhere. Most of the other members were still busy reading the articles and fans’ reactions, but Jihyo, in a panic, turned to Sana quickly.
She straddled Sana’s lap, hands on her shoulders. “Jagiya, you know the rumors aren’t true, right? I’m not dating anyone now, and I’ve barely ever seen that guy.” Jihyo said, pulling Sana even further into her personal space, scared that she would storm off or something. Was that even her personal space? Jihyo felt like it didn’t exist whenever she was with Sana. The other members turned to look at them with varying expressions. Some looked at them with disgust (Jeongyeon, Tzuyu), some of them looked like they were in it for the drama (Nayeon, Chaeyoung), and some looked at them like this was the cutest thing they had ever seen (Momo, Mina, and Dahyun).
Sana positioned her hands on Jihyo’s waist, looking confused before nodding slowly. “I know you’re not dating anyone now, don’t worry. But uh, why are you telling only me this?” She asked.
Jeongyeon, ever the troublemaker (although she kind of deserved it, having put up with Jihyo’s unintentional pining for so long), chimed in. “Yeah, Jihyo, why are you only clarifying this with Sana? Do the rest of us not deserve to know too?”
Eight pairs of eyes swung to Jihyo (one of them more mesmerising than all the others).
“Uhh…” Jihyo could feel her face flaming. In her moment of insanity, her only thought had been to reassure Sana that she was not dating whoever this was, but now she realised how weird that looked. They weren’t even dating or anything more than platonic best friends, for god’s sake. “I told Sana because she happened to be the closest to me…?” It came out like a question, and it was clear that no one bought it.
“Unnie, Sana unnie is always the one closest to you. You two are disgustingly attached, both literally and figuratively.” Tzuyu spoke up, and the deadpan expression of all the other members was agreement enough.
Thankfully Sana came to her rescue. “I like being the first one you clarify to, anyway.” She said, nuzzling closer to Jihyo’s neck, sounding way too unbothered about the whole situation. “Besides,” She continued, “You can’t date him. I won’t let you, coz you’re mine.”
The resounding disgusted sighs from all the other members made Jihyo want to hide in a dark corner and never come out, and Sana’s words had just invoked chaos within Jihyo. Okay, so maybe Jihyo was not so thankful for Sana’s “rescue” after all.
Was this supposed to mean anything? Or was it one of Sana’s flirting antics again? And why did Jihyo care so much?
“Uh.” Jihyo managed. She was clearly not functioning well. This was just her best friend play-flirting with her, Jihyo had no reason to suddenly have the communication ability of a five year old. She was a strong, independent woman who did not fold so easily. Although, Jihyo argued internally, maybe it was slightly justified. The pride of Japan, number one heartthrob Minatozaki Sana was in Jihyo’s arms, saying all kinds of sweet things and pressing kisses to Jihyo’s neck.
Was that normal? Did Sana kiss everyone’s neck like this? Jeongyeon suddenly looked over, making eye contact with Jihyo. She very purposefully looked down at Sana and the way her mouth was on Jihyo’s neck. The judgement was as clear to see as day, and Jihyo knew Jeongyeon too well. Okay, Jihyo supposed this did look a little compromising. They were cuddled together with absolutely no space between them and, yes, maybe they did resemble a couple a little. That didn’t mean they were actually one, though. Jihyo quickly looked away from Jeongyeon, afraid her face would show something she wasn’t yet ready to admit.
“You smell so good, Jihyo-ah.” Sana whispered. Her breath was hot against Jihyo’s neck even as her kisses continued, and it sent heat to all the wrong places.
Jihyo gulped. She was so fucked.
+1
“Guys, you would never guess what happened.” Sana said, grinning at something on her phone. “Dex just asked me out. Like genuinely, a full paragraph and confession.”
The gasps from all the members were heard on cue. Everyone, including fans, knew that Dex had been feeling something for Sana for quite a while, whether it was admiration or something more. And now he had officially asked Sana out. Meanwhile, Jihyo’s blood ran cold.
Trying to keep her voice even, she asked, “What was your response?”
Sana arched an eyebrow, making eye contact with Jihyo as Jihyo fidgeted nervously. “I said yes.”
That was it. Three simple words.
Jihyo should have been congratulating her best friend, happy that she had found someone she really liked. Really, Sana deserved it. She deserved someone who could return all the love she gave out, and she deserved to be happy. So yeah, this called for a celebration. But Jihyo couldn’t. Those three words echoed in her head as she tried to wrap her head around the idea that Sana had said yes to Dex. And yes, maybe Jihyo felt a little like crying. How could she not, when the girl she was in love with had just agreed to date someone who wasn’t her?
Wait.
What?
“…Oh.” Jihyo’s response could have been because of her new realisation of her feelings, or because she was reacting to Sana saying yes to Dex.
Oh, shit.
I’m in love with Sana.
Jihyo supposed she should have seen it much earlier. Not Dex and Sana; that had been coming from a mile away. But rather, all the red flags and warning signs that Jihyo should have seen that had clearly indicated her feelings. Not just from after her and Jeongyeon’s conversation, but from way before.
How she craved Sana’s touch.
How she couldn’t go for a day without talking to Sana.
How she got overly “protective” around Sana.
How, in a room full of people, her eyes always sought Sana out first.
How the idea of Sana dating someone else who wasn’t her felt like a nightmare Jihyo just did not want to address.
“Sana, stop playing with her.” Came Jeongyeon’s voice, snatching Sana’s phone from her hand. That brought Jihyo back to the present, and it was safe to say she was a little confused. “Jihyo, stop spiralling.” Jeongyeon looked down at the phone in her hands, starting to read. “Hi Dex, thank you for telling me, but I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way. I do hope we can continue being friends though, and that you manage to find someone better.”
Jihyo frowned. “Huh?” Now she was even more confused.
What was worse, Sana seemed to be perfectly at ease, even smirking at Jihyo like she knew something Jihyo didn’t. It was attractive, and that was something Jihyo realised she would need to get used to letting herself admit. (Even though she’d honestly been feeling that way for a long time.)
”Earth to Park Jihyo?” Jeongyeon asked. When Jihyo looked back at her, Jeongyeon sighed. “Sana rejected Dex, Jihyo. They’re not dating. You don’t have to worry.”
Don’t have to worry?
After the short-lived rush of relief Jihyo felt at Sana’s nod of confirmation, panic set in. “Ya! Why- why would I be worrrying?” Jihyo demanded. There was no way Jeongyeon had just said that in front of the entire group, and especially in front of Sana. How had Jeongyeon even known about Jihyo’s feelings before Jihyo herself, anyway?
“Jeongyeon, I need to talk to you. In private, please.” Jihyo said.
Jeonyeon seemed to notice the look in Jihyo’s eyes, nodding obediently as she stood up. Jihyo led Jeongyeon to her room, Sana smacking Jihyo’s butt lightly as they walked past. Jihyo was grateful that Sana didn’t question her sudden panic and request.
Once the bedroom door was closed behind them, Jihyo whirled around to face Jeongyeon, whose eyebrows were raised in curiosity.
“I- I’m in love with…with Sana.” Jihyo burst out, the words even more terrifying now that they had actually made it out of her mouth. That meant that they were now truly real.
Jeongyeon, instead of being surprised or maybe happy for her friend, actually had the audacity to look unamused, crossing her arms, “Yeah, then?” Was all she said.
Jihyo gaped at her friend. “That’s all?”
“What do you want me to say? Congratulations on finally realising something we’ve all known for the past many years? As I told you before, I assumed that you had already gotten past the denial stage a long time ago.” Jeongyeon replied.
“Well- I-“ Jihyo spluttered, trying to find the right words. “You’re telling me I’ve been in love with Sana for years now?” At Jeongyeon’s nod, Jihyo dropped onto her bed.
“Tell me, during Sixteen, who did you really want to debut with? Not including Nayeon and I.” Jeongyeon asked.
“Well, that was Sana, because we became such good friends and she was always looking out for me.” Jihyo replied.
“Let’s pretend I believe you. During the cafe TTT pretty recently, I noticed you were always staring at Sana. I’m surprised the cameras didn’t catch you staring with your mouth open. Is your excuse gonna be that you were looking at the empty space behind her?”
Jihyo faltered. She didn’t have an argument for that, because it was true. Sana had looked exceptionally beautiful that day, her hair falling around her face perfectly as she made coffee or talked to customers with that infectious smile of hers. Jihyo had been a little jealous that she wasn’t one of the customers receiving bread recommendations from Sana, something she had obviously not told Sana.
“Okay, say that were true. What do I do now then? There’s no way Sana reciprocates my feelings.” Jihyo sighed.
Jeongyeon just stared at Jihyo like she grew an extra head. “What?” Jihyo said indignantly, voice unintentionally rising.
“I shouldn’t even have to tell you this, but Sana has literally been waiting for you to confess all this time. Tell me, how many people has she dated ever since she met you?” Jeongyeon asked.
None. The answer was none, and they both knew it.
“That doesn’t mean she likes me.” Jihyo argued.
“This entire thing is making me realise how big of an idiot you really are when it comes to feelings, by the way. How about all the times she cuddles up to you or places kisses on your face way too close to your mouth?”
Jihyo shrugged. “Sana is just affectionate like that, you know that too.”
“How about when she was sulking the whole night when she first heard you and Sungbin’s dating rumor? Did you know she was reporting all the posts that even mentioned the rumor?”
Jihyo paused. She had not known that. Jeongyeon wasn’t done. “Also, I know Sana is affectionate to all of us but when it comes to you, it’s just different somehow. Sana actually gets a little possessive of you and she’s a little more shy in flirting at times.”
At this point, Jihyo had come to the conclusion that she was either the blindest idiot in the world, or Jeongyeon was the most delusional idiot in the world. “So what do I do? It’s not like I can just tell her!”
“Yes you can, and you better do exactly that. Both of you have waited too long, and I don’t think I even need to mention the clear panic you felt when you thought Sana said yes to Dex. If you don’t make your move soon, it’s only a matter of time she gives up and actually gives Dex a chance.”
Jihyo was sure Jeongyeon hadn’t meant that as a threat, but to Jihyo it sounded like one. The idea of Sana hanging off someone else’s arm, feeding them food on dates and flirting with them sent a sick feeling straight to Jihyo’s stomach. The thing was, she’d done all those things with Sana countless times before. They called them dates, of course, but Jihyo had dismissed those as…friend dates. It didn’t even matter that she’d fed Sana food and gotten oddly jealous that the food could touch Sana’s lips and she couldn’t… In hindsight, maybe Jihyo had been a little in denial. She still remembered at that same dessert place, she’d been talking with Sana while seated on the same bench. They had been so close that Jihyo could feel Sana’s breath on her lips as she talked, and she was pretty sure Sana had had her legs over Jihyo’s lap. Girlfriend behaviour that Jihyo had dismissed as ‘Sana is naturally affectionate and I don’t like her that way’.
“Why hasn’t she told me then?” Jihyo asked.
“You gotta ask her that yourself. But I think she was waiting for you to realise your feelings, and maybe she could tell you weren’t ready yet. She probably knows you better than you know yourself, Hyo.”
Jihyo hated how Jeongyeon always seemed to be right, but she was scared. What if she ruined her and Sana’s friendship forever? She would regret it for the rest of her life, and who knew what Sana would think about her after. But even so, Jihyo knew she would regret not telling Sana even more. Just the thought of her having not tried and Sana dating someone else triggered something visceral in Jihyo. Besides, if Jeongyeon had been reading the signs right, Jihyo actually stood a considerable chance. If Sana truly didn’t feel the same, they could handle it then, and Jihyo trusted Sana to be mature about it all.
“Okay. I’ll find a chance to talk to her.” Jihyo sighed.
Jeongyeon patted her on the back. “Don’t worry about it too much. Even if Sana doesn’t feel the same way, she loves you too much to say no so she may just lie to-“
“Yah!”
(Later on as they returned to the living room, Sana looked at Jihyo, opening her arms for her. Jihyo fell into them as she had millions of times already, Sana’s warmth and closeness making her heart race. The kiss Sana dropped on the top of Jihyo’s head afterward did not help things in the slightest.)
.
.
.
Jihyo hadn’t planned for the confession to happen when it had happened. She had been thinking along the lines of a fancy dinner or maybe a stroll in the park when she would tell Sana about her feelings. Not when they were cuddling, about to go to sleep.
It was a regular Sunday night, about a week after she had talked to Jeongyeon and realised all…that. Sana had come over to her place unannounced, saying that since they had a dance practice the next day, she could simply sleep over and they could go together. Jihyo hadn’t argued; how could she, when she had been contemplating texting Sana to do the very same thing?
So that was how she and Sana ended up in Jihyo’s bed. Jihyo never let Sana sleep on the couch, of course, and Sana was indignant that Jihyo should be sleeping in her own bed, which was why they eventually just decided to share Jihyo’s bed. (Sana had cited Jihyo being a wonderful cuddle buddy as another reason). Since the first time Sana had crashed there, this had become the norm.
Sure, maybe watching Sana climb into Jihyo’s bed in Jihyo’s pajamas sent butterflies fluttering wildly in her stomach, but Jihyo could deal with it. She just needed to ignore the fact that the love of her life would inevitably end up cuddling into Jihyo the whole night, Jihyo’s clothes slightly baggy on her, and when they woke up the next morning, Sana would smell like Jihyo. Jihyo was sure she could manage.
Jihyo waited for a total of three beats (she counted) before she felt Sana shift closer and familiar arms wrapped around her from behind. “Jihyo-ah, is there a reason why-“ Jihyo felt Sana take a breath against her neck. “-you haven’t dated anyone since Daniel?”
Of all the things Jihyo had been expecting to come out of Sana’s mouth, that had been one of the least expected. Jihyo had told no one but Jeongyeon the truth, that she had dated Daniel only because she had wanted to give it a chance, and it helped that he had been interested in her. But the spark had just not been there, and their relationship had ended on mutual understanding. Sure, Daniel had wanted to keep trying, but he had been able to tell Jihyo’s heart just wasn’t in it.
“Why are you suddenly asking this?” Jihyo asked Sana back.
Sana sighed, hands caressing Jihyo’s waist almost unthinkingly. “Can’t you humor me this once and just answer the question?”
Jihyo turned around to face Sana then, noting the serious look on her face. Jihyo wasn’t entirely sure how to answer the question without spilling her feelings to Sana, but she supposed half the truth would be good enough. “I’m not sure. I guess I’ve been busy, and no one has sparked my interest. Or really tried to chase me.”
Sana laughed softly, but it was more like a laugh of disbelief than an actual laugh. “Park Jihyo, you’re telling me no one has expressed interest in dating you all these years? You’re either lying or too blind to notice.” The last part was said a little pointedly, and Jihyo briefly wondered if Sana had meant something deeper behind those words. “You could have anyone you desired. I don’t believe you haven’t been attracted to someone at all all these years.”
Jihyo paused. She had never been a good liar, and Sana knew her way too well. She immediately picked up on the hesitation on Jihyo’s face, eyes widening as she pulled Jihyo closer. “You- you like someone? Now?”
Jihyo was stuck. Literally and figuratively, because Sana’s arms seemed to have tightened around her even further.
“Uh…”
Sana shook her head. “No, it’s okay. You don’t need to tell me about it. Not sure if I even want to know about it.” The last part was muttered, and Jihyo wouldn’t have caught it had they not been practically face to face, a hair’s breadth away from one another. Jihyo didn’t know when they had even gotten so close. She wasn’t feeling particularly inclined to move away, though.
”What do you mean? Why would you not want to know about it?” Jihyo asked, playing with Sana’s hair mindlessly.
“I just- don’t need the details. But let me know when you get into a relationship, okay?”
Jihyo was confused. For whatever reason, Sana sounded…a little heartbroken. And she was always the one who was the most invested in Jihyo’s life, so why was she suddenly so…detached? Was she ill or something?
“Sana-yah, are you okay?” Jihyo asked, looking down at Sana. To her surprise, Sana’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, and she began to pull away from Jihyo’s embrace. “Oh, shit. Sana, what happened? Why are you crying?”
Sana wiped at her eyes, shaking her head silently. It broke Jihyo’s heart. How had she made Sana cry?
“Talk to me, baby, please.” Jihyo pleaded, pulling Sana’s hands away from her eyes.
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Sana said, drawing away from Jihyo. But Jihyo didn’t let her get far. Perhaps Jihyo knew what was up with Sana. Perhaps she should have seen it much earlier. But she hadn’t dared to hope.
”Sana, is this about me having someone I’m interested in?” Jihyo asked.
Sana shook her head for the third time that night, then hesitated and nodded slightly. “I’m happy for you Ji, I really am. I don’t know why I’m crying.”
Jihyo studied her face. And then she took the plunge. “Do you really not know?” Jihyo asked carefully, almost afraid of scaring Sana off.
Sana looked up at her, her expression more vulnerable than Jihyo had ever seen. And that was what made Jihyo finally crack. Screw her original plan, Sana had to know about her feelings, especially if there was even a small chance she may feel the same way.
“How about you? Why haven’t you dated anyone before? If we both have the same answer to that question, then don’t you think it’s time we have this conversation?” Jihyo asked gently. When Sana didn’t object or say anything, Jihyo felt some hope light up within her.
”I, uh, had some talks with Jeongyeon recently. Not long ago, she asked me when I would finally tell you that I’m-“ Jihyo swallowed, forcing herself to push through. Sana deserved as much. “-in love with you. At the time, I told her she was crazy and that there was no way I was in love with you. She said she thought I had gotten over the denial a long time ago. So, yeah, maybe I was a little slow, but since then I started noticing things I had been assuming were normal.” Sana’s expression didn’t reveal her feelings; she just stared steadily at Jihyo, hands tracing random patterns on Jihyo’s back. Jihyo took that as a sign to continue.
“How I love when you touch me and no one else. The butterflies I feel whenever you’re close to me that haven’t subsided the past ten years. I chalked those up to stage fright every time, in case you wanted to know. The way I felt randomly protective whenever you flirted with someone else or some random male idol expressed interest in you. I just assumed I was concerned for my best friend, which obviously didn’t explain the jealousy I felt when you did fanservice with the other members. I noticed these things, and eventually I realised that Jeongyeon was right. I…have been in love with you probably ever since Sixteen, even before I found out I could even love a girl. I’m sorry it took me this long to realise and even longer to tell you, but if I am reading your signs right and I really pray that I am, thank you for waiting for me all this time. If you’re willing, I’d love to be able to call you my girlfriend.”
Sana’s face still showed no emotion, and that was starting to seriously worry Jihyo. Jihyo had always considered herself a pretty good judge of people’s character as well as situations she was in, but she had neglected to consider that perhaps she had completely misread this entire situation. Jeongyeon’s words about Sana loving her too much as a friend to say no (even though meant as a joke) rang in Jihyo’s head, and Jihyo hurriedly continued. “If I’ve completely misread this entire situation and you’re wondering if you should say yes just to not hurt me, please don’t. I’ll be able to deal with it if you don’t feel the same way, and you deserve to date someone who oof-“ The last part had been cut off because Sana had slapped her hand to Jihyo’s mouth, hugging her with an intensity that surprised Jihyo.
Sana’s other arm wrapped firmly around Jihyo’s torso, legs slung over Jihyo’s hips. Her face was buried in Jihyo’s chest and frankly Jihyo was at a loss. “Uh…”
“You’re an idiot, Park Jihyo.” Sana finally said, voice muffled against Jihyo’s clothes. She removed her hand covering Jihyo’s mouth to wrap it around Jihyo too. That semed like a pretty good sign.
“I can’t really tell if that’s a good or bad response, so…”
“All these years, there were times I thought you knew about my feelings and were just ignoring them so that things wouldn’t get awkward between us.” Sana confessed.
Huh.
“Huh?”
“Everyone around me always told me about how transparent my feelings were, so I just assumed you didn’t like me back the same way. People always told me you were different around me, but I was too scared to let myself imagine us together. So I just buried my feelings and pretended everything was alright. There were times you would look at me and your eyes would kind of shine, but I always told myself not to read too much into it. Those moments made me think that maybe you were clueless, after all. Every time I see you my heart jumps and I wish so badly to be able to call you mine, but I was so scared of ruining our friendship.”
Huh.
“You like me. Like actually. Genuinely.”
Sana finally pulled back, rolling her eyes at Jihyo even as a small smile formed on her face. “I thought I was so obvious. I’ve been in love with you from the moment you introduced yourself when we were trainees, and you smiled at me. Not anyone else, but me. It killed me when you dated Daniel, and I still couldn’t bring myself to confess to you.”
Jihyo took a moment to process. “Holy shit. So all these years we wasted loving each other as more than friends and neither of us took the next step? I was in denial about my feelings up till recently, even. So Jeongyeon was right, again. About you returning my feelings.”
Sana nodded. And stared at Jihyo. Something was off.
“Wait. Your reaction was kind of tame for someone who’s been loving her best friend for the past ten years and just found out that she’s loved back. I barely gathered the courage to confess, and I’m still in disbelief that you feel the same way.”
Sana giggled. The audacity. “Well, Jeong may or may not have warned me a few days ago that my best friend had suddenly had an epiphany about her feelings so I should prepare for a confession coming my way in the foreseeable future. I didn’t fully believe her, but it did give me a little hope.”
“That little shit. Of course she would betray her best friend like that. Tomorrow I’m gonna replace her coffee with hot sauce. So why were you so upset when you found out I like someone? You even almost started crying!” Jihyo said.
Sana sniffed. “I thought there was someone else and maybe Jeongyeon was wrong, ‘cause you didn’t seem particularly interested in the girl beside you. But anyways, that’s not important now. Don’t you have something you want to be doing now? Especially after confessing to the love of your life?” Sana asked cheekily.
“Ever the overthinker, Sana. It was always you. And oh wow. Wait till I tell everyone that Minatozaki Sana is officially off the market. For now, though…”
Jihyo tilted Sana’s head up, noting how soft Sana’s skin under her fingers was. The pure joy and humor in Sana’s eyes made Jihyo smile in turn, finally, finally closing the distance between them. She had lived without having experienced Sana’s lips on her own for far too long. Safe to say, she was sure no other kiss experienced by anyone else had ever or would ever top this one. Even as Jihyo slanted her mouth to kiss Sana deeper, unbelieving that she was the lucky one who got to taste Minatozaki Sana’s lips, she thought back to all the signs they’d both missed, and all the missed time they could’ve spent doing this. Oh well, Jihyo supposed they’d have to make up for lost time starting from now. Their bruised lips the next day would be testament to that.
“So you’ll be my girlfriend?” Jihyo asked, pulling away briefly.
Sana rolled her eyes, tugging Jihyo back. “Yes, now shut up and kiss me, Park Jihyo.”
Jihyo chuckled. “So impatient.”
But who was she to say no, though. Jihyo slid her tongue into Sana’s mouth, and Sana’s resounding moan sent heat spiking straight down to Jihyo’s core. They could handle that. Later. For now, Jihyo focused on thoroughly devouring Sana’s mouth, hands tangling in her girlfriend’s hair. Oxygen could wait, anyway.
epilogue
“So who’s the best friend ever?” Jeongyeon asked the next day as she watched Jihyo and Sana stroll into their dance practice hand-in-hand.
Jihyo rolled her eyes, but she supposed her friend deserved to gloat. “You are, okay?” Jihyo conceded. Jeongyeon preened at the compliment.
“Look, I’m happy for you two, seriously, but Sana, did you really have to make it…so obvious?” Nayeon asked, observing Jihyo’s neck with a grimace. “The makeup artists are going to have such a hard time.”
Sana smiled. “Oops. I didn’t think of that. Kinda hard to when Jihyo is below me begging me to-“
Jihyo clapped her hand over Sana’s mouth. “Sorry, my girlfriend tends to forget that not every single thing needs to be revealed to every living soul.” She said exaggeratedly, pinching Sana’s cheek lightly.
Nayeon and Jeongyeon fake-gagged at that, even as the majority of the other members pretended they hadn’t seen anything. “Disgusting. I disapprove of this relationship already.” Tzuyu spoke, not even glancing up from her phone.
Sana and Jihyo exchanged a look of mutual understanding promising mischief, and without warning, jumped onto Tzuyu, flanking her. “Yah!” Came the surprised muffled cries as Sana and Jihyo tickled their maknae, the rest watching in amusement. “Get them- off me!” Tzuyu cried, trying to shove them off (unsuccessfully, of course).
Eventually they stopped, all the members trying to hold their laughter at Tzuyu’s messy hair and the displeased look on her face. “Seriously, congrats, unnies. It took you both maybe 9 years too many but I’m glad it all worked out!” Chaeyoung quipped.
“Aww thank you Chaengie, you may be the only true friend here.” Sana said, ignoring Jeongyeon’s pointed cough. “Anyway, if you all thought we were insufferable together before, just be prepared that it will get worse! Who knew Jihyo was a Sanatouch-starved monster?”
The members collectively groaned, resigning to their fate, just as the door to the practice room opened. Their manager walked in, looking at all the defeated faces. “What’s with all of you?” Her gaze swung to Sana and Jihyo, an aghast expression forming on her face. “Jihyo, what happened to your neck? Were you attacked by a wild animal last night?”
Nayeon immediately lost it, the familiar sound of her too-loud laughter echoing in the room. “Yah, Sana-yah, when did you become a wild animal?!”