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Kyungmin thinks his life is as monotonous as it could be. He is just a high school student trying to be a good son and survive his youth while studying hard for his college entrance exam.
Every day is the same, over and over again, the same good mornings where he rides his bike to school and wakes up too late to even have time for breakfast, the same afternoons in the library studying until feeling his eyes close, and the nights where he is so tired that he just takes a shower and goes to sleep.
And that's fine to him. Not everything has to be an adventure. Sometimes just being alive makes him happy. Sometimes just waking up is enough for him.
Although he knows there is something that makes him feel curious, a little thing that makes him tingle just thinking about it, something he has always tried to deny by saying, "It's just nonsense that would waste my time," but the blush on his cheeks gives him away and his friends tease him.
But is it wrong to want to experience love?
Of course, his family loves him, his friends adore him, but he was referring to the kind of love we see in movies, the love sung about in the songs he listened to while doing his homework, the love that makes the girls in his class sigh, the love that everyone seems to experience except him.
Although, perhaps the problem is that he tries not to experience it, running away like a coward, pretending not to realize that maybe the opportunity is so close that he could take it whenever he wanted.
He knows there is someone seeing him when no one else does, he can feel their gaze but they never end up meeting, Kyungmin isn’t bold enough to confront them and make their gazes meet.
Someone who smiles just hearing his voice, Kyungmin's voice was so cheerful that it would be impossible not to notice he was there.
Someone who waits for him in the afternoons after their classes are over and they are supposed to go home, but instead, that person decides to spend their afternoons with Kyungmin.
Even if he doesn't say it directly, even if Kyungmin pretends not to notice, it's all just a simple facade to ignore his reality.
But it's hard to ignore it, ignoring the fact that every time Hanjin looks at him and smiles at him, there's nothing that doesn’t makes Kyungmin feel bubbly.
Maybe it just infects him with his warmth, maybe he's just glad seeing him happy.
Or maybe there's something else.
Every time their fingers accidentally touch when Hanjin tries to help him with his algebra exercises, even if it's only for a few seconds, Kyungmin feels a short circuit, a spark inside him, like a flame that grows bigger with every moment they share.
Kyungmin wants to hold on a little longer, he wants to be able to stay close to Hanjin, even if it's just a little bit longer.
He knows Hanjin wouldn't refuse, he always welcomed everyone with open arms, always hugging them in his warmth and making them feel safe, so what is stopping Kyungmin?
The truth is, even he doesn't know why he longs so much to hold his hand, but maybe that's how love feels, there's no reason, you just want it, it's like a force that draws you to that person even if you're polar opposites—although that's the fun part, isn't it?—maybe it's just his heart wanting Hanjin to notice how it beats for him.
But, his bubble breaks when Hanjin tells him that they should go back to what they were doing because "It's too late and he doesn't want to be locked up in the haunted library."
Kyungmin responds playfully as he snatches Hanjin's pencil and puts it on his lips making a pouty face "We don't go through life calculating how many apples to buy by applying equations"
And, there it is again, that laugh, that warm, soft laugh that makes Hanjin seem like the most adorable being on the planet — and perhaps it is — that laugh that makes any coherent thought go away, that laugh that makes his heart melt a little more and his defenses weaken.
In fact, he likes Hanjin to be like that, to laugh at things as simple as Kyungmin says when he tries to lighten the mood and becomes a little flirtatious. If Kyungmin could do his best to make that pretty smile a constant in the life of his hyung.
He likes Hanjin to try to help him even if Hanjin himself sometimes fails to understand things perfectly, but, looking and trying to resolve Kyungmin's doubts, and, he doesn't dare question him, he could trust Hanjin's life if he asked him to, well, it might sound a little exaggerated but so.
He likes Hanjin to be so shy that he looks only from a distance and gets nervous when they're close, that every time Kyungmin steps forward Hanjin backs up and hides his face in his hands, but again, Kyungmin's heart beats seeing such a cute scene, will Hanjin do it on purpose?
He likes him to be so dedicated, spending his evenings in the library studying with Kyungmin or practicing his Korean and his nights in the dance studio with his friend Jihoon, practicing until his legs look like jelly.
He likes Hanjin to be so kind and sweet, that he always seeks to give everyone hugs and words of encouragement. He likes that despite Hanjin’s lovely and serene image, he has his character and he scolds Kyungmin when is necessary.
And now that he thinks about it, in fact, maybe he likes Hanjin.
And a oh comes out of his lips, just as if a bucket of cold water suddenly fell on him, or if he had been hit on the head with a stone named Hanjin.
Because, what's nex?t, what's he supposed to do?
It's like time is frozen, because for a second, just for one, he decides that maybe he can try, so Hanjin can know that he too feels what Hanjin feels about him.
And he stops to look at him, Kyungmin analyzes Hanjin's face, and, it is impossible not to soften his gaze and draw a little smile on his face.
Seeing Hanjin in the eyes feels like he's bewitched, like he's sinking into the milky way that illuminates his pupils, analyzing more details, like the moles that adorn him, like his cheeks that Kyungmin wants to pinch so much, but, he stops on his lips, how would it feel to kiss him?, and, just think about it, he sighs.
At this point, they were so close that if one of them came a little closer, their lips would eventually touch each other, but, before Kyungmin did anything crazy, he simply put his glasses on and returned to his place.
It was obvious, Hanjin was nervous, he could hear how fast his heart was beating and how Hanjin's lips trembled, trying to say something but failing in the attempt
But as they say, looks don't lie, and Kyungmin could tell, Hanjin want him, he wanted this as much as Kyungmin, he just didn't dare say it.
"Hyung, you're so pretty" that wasn't the least bit of everything Kyungmin wanted to say, but, it's the first thing that came out of his lips, and, if he was honest, he'd been thinking about it for quite a while, only he'd never dared to say it.
And, although Hanjin seems to doubt it, he simply smiles at it, perhaps it’s the biggest and brightest smile he's ever given Kyungmin.
"You're very handsome Kyungmin-ah" — Hanjin seemed to have gathered all his courage to say that short, but so significant sentence that Kyungmin did his best not to scream at it — he definitely didn't want them banned from the library — so he just took a post-it and started writing on it.
Hanjin looked forward to it, and, he confirmed what he had said a few moments ago, Kyungmin was handsome, so handsome that sometimes he was breathless and robbed him of all the words he wanted to say, but, no more, he was never going to hide anymore.
And, as if somehow he and Kyungmin were connected, the youngest gave him the post-it.
"So, would you go on a date with me?, Hanjin-hyung? <3”
Hanjin turned his eyes and took a pencil to answer him.
"First pass that exam and then let's talk about the future ><"
Kyungmin's only reaction was to stuck his tongue out at him and go back to whatever he was doing before he had a realization that had practically changed his life as he knew it.
Hanjin simply caressed him just like a puppy, and Kyungmin was about to sue him and give him a restraining order.
"How am i supposed to concentrate if you do this to me?" Kyungmin asked him inquisitively while judging him with his gaze.
"You have to prepare for any obstacle, don't you?" If he admitted that it had been a bit daring, but, that was a game that both of them could play.
"I'll get an A and then you'll go out with me, even if it’s the last thing i do!" Kyungmin said with more enthusiasm than he should.
"Of course you will, Minnie" Hanjin would never doubt Kyungmin's determination and perhaps he should start to thinks about where he would like to go on their first date, and stuff like that, he was cooked! but it was fine, if it was about Kyungmin definitely he could do it.
Maybe the beauty lay in those moments that seemed like a ray of sunshine in the monotony of their days, in afternoons at the library where it was just the two of them, in nights where Hanjin always wished him good night but Kyungmin had already fallen asleep, in those moments where, amid hallways full of students going here and there, they always ended up finding each other and walking toward each other, those moments where their friends teased them and it was all jokes and giggles.
Maybe the magic wasn't in kisses in the rain or confessions in the moonlight, the magic was in the fact that they were together day after day and yet their hearts would yearn for each other more and more, without hurry or tiredness, but simply by being themselves.