Work Text:
It was late at night. Or maybe early morning, he lost track of time a few hours ago. Chan was tired, he was so tired. He just wanted to go and curl up against someone warm body and just rest there for an unidentified amount of time. But first, he needed to reach the dorm to be able to do that. The walk was quite short, fifteen minutes if he took his time, which he was doing. He also needed to find the courage to also go bother one of his members with his clinginess. He already missed half of them with the separate dorm. It was obviously nice finally having a room for himself, and not having to share a bathroom with so many people. But a part of him will always crave for that closeness. He knew that he has been distant lately, but between the new comeback and his thoughts completely overwhelming him, distance just seemed like the safest option. It was easier before, while living together. The actual space between the two dorms, even if they were five minutes apart in the same building, seemed to be also an emotional space between him and everyone else.
He didn't want to bother anyone, it constantly felt like he always had something going on and the last thing he wanted to be was a burden. Sometimes all he just wanted was to be heard. But how exhausting must it be for the others to constantly having to hear about the same problems over and over again.
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and sighed, looking up at the dark sky on the way back to the dorm. Deciding to walk back to the dorm tonight was a good idea, it was late and he didn't want to disturb anyone at this hour. From the color of the sky, it seemed like it was still really deep in the night, maybe 4 am. It was actually kinda nice, being alone like this. Time was still, thoughts strangely silent for once.
Chan closed his eyes for a moment while inhaling deeply the fresh air of the night, trying to take in the peace he rarely can experience with his life. A life that he dreamed and worked for so long and was so happy to live. But it still was too much sometimes. Especially when he started to become too self aware of himself.
He began walking once again, the dorm nearby. Chan was out with only a hoodie on, really comfy but not enough to battle the cold that was outside in that moment. And not nearly warm enough to battle the one that was inside of him. His steps started to be a little more hurried, the entrance of the building in his field of view.
Once he was inside, Chan went straight to the elevator, clicking his floor. While waiting inside, he rubbed his hands together, trying to create some warmth with the friction. It was strange, feeling so cold. Chan was the kind of person that always ran warm, no matter what weather was outside. Maybe the coldness was a sign that the fatigue, physically and emotionally, was really starting to affect him more than usual.
Door of the elevator opened, he hurried up at the end of the corridor and once in front of his dorm, he taped in the code to enter. Trying his best to be extremely silent, he left his shoes at the entrance while still holding onto his bag, and took in the silence that filled the apartment. It felt different from the one he was enjoying outside before, this one felt more alive somehow. If he focused a little, he could almost hear someone's deep breathing, clearly asleep. Chan rest his back against the door, closing his eyes and lived the moment for a second. He was trying to delay the inevitable, the crush of every little things he was feeling lately. While his feelings seemed to be completely silent while he was outside, somehow they felt more amplified than ever while safe in his dorm.
Letting out a deep breath he opened his eyes, pushed himself off of the door and started making his way inside the apartment, slowly. But few steps in and he realized that he actually didn't want to go inside of his room, where the little sound he could hear now would be almost totally silenced. They were almost a comfort he didn't want to lose, especially while not wanting to actually go and disturb one of them just cause he didn't want to be alone.
Making his way towards the couch, he sat carefully there. His back rest against, his neck too tired to keep his head lifted. With his eyes closed, a few tears fell down on his face, the loneliness hitting now more than ever. Usually he would have hesitated a bit before going to one of the members' bedroom and just joined them to sleep. But his mind was too loud now, the feeling of not wanting to be annoying more crushing than ever.
He just wanted some comfort and reassurance but the others must be sick of always having to reassure his weak mind.
Some more tears spilled down his cheeks, gently, as if also them didn't want to disturb the atmosphere. Without even realizing, Chan fell asleep like this on the couch, not even in a comfortable position, still feeling sad and cold. So cold.
—-
Someone was shaking gently his shoulder, but he was still too deep in his sleep to actually realize what was happening. His eyelids still too heavy, not having the force to lift them. He could hear something, but it sounded more like a background noise than an actual sound. At least until those noises actually started to sound like words.
"-nnie" someone was whispering. "Chan-hyung" a voice was calling him, gentle but with something that seemed like concern. But concern for who? A frown took place on Chan's face, a groan out of his lips. A gentle thumb caressed his frown, smoothing it away and almost sending Chan back in his slumber.
"Chan-hyung, come with me to bed" Changbin's voice reached his ears, finally recognizing who was taking to him. Chan's eyes fluttered open, and he saw Changbin's figure kneeling beside him, his hand moved while caressing his face, thumb now gently grazing his cheek. Curls a little ruffled, clearly having just woken up. Lit in his eyes was the concern that he could hear earlier in his voice.
"Come on, you're so cold" the last part was a murmur, something that Chan probably wasn't supposed to hear.
Changbin got up from his position beside him, and then helped him getting up from the couch, taking all of Chan's weight on himself, since the other was still half-asleep. The two of them stayed in that sort of embrace for a while, Chan too comfortable against Changbin's warm body to actually move. "Bin" he murmured with his head pressed against the younger's neck. Changbin hummed in response, while moving up and down the hand that was gently resting against his waist.
Slowly, Changbin backed away a little from the hug, arm around his leader's waist to direct him toward his room.
No other words were exchanged between the two, the world outside also still silent. They made their way inside Changbin's room, a bit darker than the living room, where the moonlight was shining through the window.
Changbin carefully sit Chan on the mattress, helping him laying down on the still warm sheets, before also inserting himself beside him. He took the duvet and put it on the both of them, careful to fully cover Chan, before laying down. Changbin layed with his back against the mattress, while one of his arms went around the older to push him against his chest, Chan not even trying to fight it and just following along with his eyes already closed. The cold feeling of loneliness from before melting out of his body, thanks to the warm body he was snugged against.
"You can come to us Hyung" he whispered, tightening his arm around the leader shoulders. "-orry" Chan mumbled in his chest, voice still full of sleep but more awake than before. Some tears sprang up in his eyes, the realization that he was having exactly what he was craving for before but still being awake enough to feel guilty about being so needy.
Changbin sighed, pressing a kiss on his forehead and remaining with his mouth pressed gently there. "Just sleep now, everything's gonna be okay" his lips moved gently against his forehead, a warmth finally spreading inside of him.
Chan just tightened his arm around Changbin's waist, his figure basically melting against the younger while silence filled the room. He fell asleep like this, focusing on the sound of Changbin's heart beating and the softly movement up and down of his chest. He wished that this moment could last forever but for now, he could rest in the warmth.