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He laid there, waiting to hear the light foot steps of Dean walking into the cabin, trying not to wake Cas even though they both know he’ll still be awake.
Cas stays like that for what seems like hours until he finally hear the truck pulling up to camp. He waits, silently, for Dean to come in. After a few moments, Dean does come in, stripping out if his boots and jeans. Castiel glanced at the man, this beautiful soul he once so gingerly pieced back together, only for it to break again right in front of him. Cas may have fallen, but that doesn’t mean the profound bond between the two men was broken.
Dean was hurting. So Cas was too.
The bags under Dean’s eyes were becoming more and more noticeable as days passed. He smiled less often and smaller, the expression rarely meeting his eyes. He was quieter, as well. Only really speaking when absolutely necessary. And it made Cas quieter, too, even more so than when he wasn’t human.
But tonight was different. Tonight, Castiel was sober. Tonight, Castiel wasn’t going to just let Dean fuck him and lie awake for the rest of the night, holding back the tears that threatened to escape.
Tonight, Cas wanted to make it better, even if he knew that was something he couldn’t fulfill.
Cas stood up, off the bed and walked over to Dean as silently as possible. Dean was standing, head in his hands, shoulders shaking.
He was crying.
Castiel was surprised Dean allowed himself this, knowing someone else was in the room with him, even Cas. Or maybe that’s specifically why he did.
Dean didnt notice Cas’ presence so close though, at least not until he placed a hand over Dean’s, judging him and pulling him close whispering sweet nothing’s into his ear.
After a few moments of waiting, Dean pulled away, dropping his hands and looking at Cas’ face.
“Cas,” he whispered, but his voice was small and broken. Cas stayed silent, but nodded, urging him to continue. “We found him.. Sammy, I mean. We found Sammy.”
Castiel swallowed. He knew this was a sore subject for Dean, something he hadn’t brought up since Sam originally left. He wasn’t sure what to say or if he should say anything at all really, but that decision was made for him when Dean went on.
“He, uh.. He said yes, Cas. Sam said yes to Lucifer.”
Cas couldn’t help the breath he sucked in. He had hoped that Sam wouldn’t say yes, knowing what it would do to not only him but Dean as well. He knew Dean would do anything to stop Lucifer and just because Sam was his vessel wasn’t going to change the plan to kill him. So Cas placed a hand on the side of Dean’s face, wiping the tears away with his thumb.
“Dean, shh. It’ll be okay. Don’t worry, okay? I’m here, don’t worry,” Cas whispered, pulling Dean to him.
“You’re sober,” Dean commented, his voice sounding glad of the fact. “I like you sober.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I wanted to be sober for when you got back..” Cas trailed off, because he knew how Dean felt about chick flick moments, and with this sudden display of weakness he didn’t think Dean would want to show anymore of it.
But Dean smiled. It was small and full of sadness, but it was real.
“Thanks, Cas.” Cas smiled back, but he doubted it reached his eyes.
“I’m here for you, Dean. I’m not going to leave you, I’m yours whether you want me or not. I always have been.”
Dean grabbed Cas’ hand from his face and laced his fingers with the ex-angel’s. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Cas understood.
“Let’s go to sleep, Dean,” he said quietly and Dean nodded. They got into the bed and Dean wrapped himself around Cas, tighter than usual.
“I love you, Cas.”
“I love you too, Dean.”