Chapter Text
Neil’s peaceful afternoon was broken by his bedroom door being swung open and Nicky’s suspiciously gleeful and pitched voice filled his room.
“Neeeeil! My best friend in the whole world-the love of my life! I have a surprise for you!”
Nicky waltzes into the room, wrapping his arms around Neil's shoulders. He doesn't flinch much. Neil closes his book and eyes Nicky with suspicion.
“What did you do? Why are you more cheerful than normal? I swear if I have to clean up-”
“Hush! I did something super nice for you! I know you are like a super touch-starved gremlin- so I booked you a cuddle session with someone that I’ve gone to. And yes before you freak-I do know this person, I’m not that crazy.”
“Nicky! What in the-” Nicky brought a finger up to Neil’s lips, shushing him successfully.
“You have also met them! When we go up to Eden’s, you’ve talked to him before. Now go! I sent you the address to.”
“Nicky…I appreciate your odd way of trying to do whatever this is. Trying to fix my touch-starved self as you claim- but I am fine. I would go to Matt… or God forbid you if it came down to it. So, tell-”
“First of all, rude! What do you mean by ‘god forbid’? And secondly you don’t. Just try for a little bit? If you truly hate it, I won’t do it again. But it might make you feel better…you seem to be really stressed about something- I don’t know. It just helped me when I was struggling. He may seem stand-offish but I promise-”
“Nick.Take a breath. I get it, I will…try this weird ‘cuddle session’ bullshit you signed me up for.”
Nicky smiled, then laughed into Neil's shoulder.
“Good…because you only have an hour before the appointment!”
Neil stilled, he’s about to turn and strangle Nicky.
“Nicky Hemmick! I swear to- just get out!”
Nicky sprinted out of the room, he knew from previous events...that if Neil uses his full name, he is a dead man.Neil sighs, grumbling about Nicky and his crazy plans. Neil takes the fastest shower known to man. He quickly slips on his black sweatpants, a baggy white t-shirt and a soft brown sweater over it.
“Goodbye you menace. I will be back later.” Neil does a quick pat down, phone and wallet? Check.
————
The address Nicky sent him has him stopped at a two story tattoo shop. Neil double checks the address, phone, building and to his phone again.
“Are you a lost kid?” Neil jumps, nearly dropping his phone. A tall, muscular man towers over Neil, long black wavy hair hiding a lot of the man's features.
“No. I think I have the wrong-”
“SETH! What the hell are you doing! You can’t just leave mid-consultation! To talk to a guy? Get the hell back inside!”
“He looked lost Andrew! Tell them to wait!”
Neil barely suppresses a flinch when he sees the guy from the entrance storm over, if looks could kill Neil believes he would be dead.
“Can we help you? You are apparently so distracting that you dragged my idiot of an employee out here.”
Neil lets out an annoyed sigh, he wasn’t in the mood nor did he have the time to deal with whatever this is.
“Listen. I was just following the directions Nicky sent me, I probably just have the wrong address. I didn’t mean to-”
“Nicky? As in Nicky Hemmick?” The one who was by the entrance seemed to have all of his energy drained out of him by Nicky’s name.
“Yes, that’s right. And you know Nicky how? What’s your name? I haven’t seen you around before, I know almost everyone that Nicky hangs out with.”
The blonde raises an eyebrow, looking at Neil.
“When did this become an interrogation? And you-” The blonde turns to face Seth, he jabs his thumb back to the tattoo building. “Go back.”
Seth huffs, walking back into the tattoo shop. Now it’s just Neil and the scary blonde.
“To answer your onslaught of questions, I’m Andrew and unfortunately Nicky’s cousin. My turn. Who are you and why did Nicky send you to my shop?”
“That's barely an onslaught of questions but alright…Nicky sent me here because of a ‘cuddle session’ he said he did once. He didn’t say who, so if you could-”
“God damn it Nicky! How many times have I told you to stop sending your fucking touch deprived friends to me! I’m going to kill you!”
And with that Andrew hung up the phone, shoving it back into his pocket.
“You. I still have an hour left before I close my shop, can your poor lonely self wait another hour? Doesn't really matter though, you either wait or leave.”
Neil is stunned into silence, the backlash that man gave him was ridiculous. Andrew walked back into his shop without hearing Neil’s answer. Neil stands there for a few seconds, then decides to head into the shop to wait. What could possibly go wrong with a cuddle session with Nicky’s cousin that he has no recollection of?
————
Neil walks around in the waiting room, flipping through the book that was up on the counter. He sees a few cool pieces, a snake coiling around someone's thigh really caught his eye. He drinks two cups of water from the water dispenser and a cup of mint tea. That did not help the ball of anxiety thrumming through his entire body. He moved to the couch, his knee already bouncing, much against his will.
What exactly am I supposed to do?
This is going to be so weird. Oh my god Nicky why.
Why did I agree to this?
Can I still go? I bet I can leave and Andrew wouldn’t even know.
“Hey. I closed up shop.”
I don’t think I want to do this. Why should I? I don’t deserve this. I shouldn’t-
“Neil? Listen to me, you need to breathe.”
I shouldn’t. I should-I want this. I think? Do I?
Something cold touches the back of Neil's neck, he screams. He gasps, finally taking in air, even if a little erratically.
“You’re okay Neil. Youre at Viper’s Tattoo shop. I’m Andrew, Nicky’s cousin.”
Neil blinks, slowly taking in his surroundings. Andrew comes into clear view; he’s kneeling on the floor in front of him.
“I’m sor-”
“No.”
“No?”
“Don’t apologize, there's no need to. Do you still want to come upstairs or do I need to call Nicky?”
“Upstairs? Why- Oh right that…You didn’t seem thrilled about it over the phone. I can just go home.”
“I don’t offer things if I don’t want to do them Neil. So would you like to go upstairs, yes or no?”
“Yes.”
————
Andrew takes Neil up the windy staircase. Neil has a death grip on the railing, way too windy for his liking. He hears Andrew laughing behind him.
“What’s wrong little birdy? Too twisty for you?”
“Not a word.”
Andrew unlocks his door, shucking off his shoes and coat by the door. Neil is a little more hesitant.
“The room doesn't bite, take off your shoes. You can help yourself to anything in the fridge, I’m going to shower then I’ll be back.”
Andrew disappears down a small hallway, Neil takes off his boots. He walks around the living room, looking at the picture frames that line a shelf on a full bookshelf, admiring all of the random nick knacks around the room, and the few crystals that stand on the coffee table.
“My friend Renee gave those to me, she’s into the crystals and their healing properties. I don’t believe in them much, but she wouldn't let me leave her house without them.” Neil jumps, he didn’t even hear the door open. He turns away from the coffee table, Andrew standing a few steps away in loose sweatpants and an old faded band shirt, Neil can’t make out what band it was.
“Maybe I should call you rabbit instead. Always so jumpy.”
“How about no.” Andrew shrugs his shoulders.
A silence fills the room, Neil feels his palms start to sweat, he can hear his heartbeat, in his ears, the bottom of his stomach. He doesn't like this kind of quiet.
“So uh…how do we-I mean what do I do? Nicky just sprung this on me not even an hour ago. Are there rules- how do you normally-you seemed to have done this before. You're going to have to help me a bit here Andrew. I don’t-”
“Oh Jesus. You ramble like Nicky when he’s nervous. First, try and calm down. You can sit on the couch if you’d like. Tea perhaps? Nicky said you liked tea.”
Neil nods, heading towards the couch. He sits stiffly on the end of the couch, his hands itching to do something, but as the space head he is at times he forgot his fidget toy at home. He taps a random rhythm on his knee in place of that.
Andrew came back a few minutes later with a steaming cup in his hand.
“Here.It’s mint tea.” Neil takes the cup wordlessly, a small smile on his lips. He takes a sip and a satisfied sigh leaves his mouth.
“Movie or no movie?”
“Movie.” Neil’s reply was instant, he isn’t sure how much more silence he can take before putting his boots back on and bolting back to his and Nicky’s shared flat.
“Alright. How do you feel about Ghibli films?”
“Yes! Oh please I love any and all of them! Do you have a favorite?” Andrew tensed, Neil noticed right away. He was rather good at picking up on small details. It was vital to his survival,still is.
You're too loud Nathaniel. No one likes a loud boy, and you’ll give us away. Do you want us to get caught?
“Sorry, am I too loud?”
“Loud? No. Nowhere near. Why?”
“You tensed. I thought I was too loud. I was told that a lot when I was younger.”
“I don’t like the word please.”
“Okay. I won’t use it.”
————
Andrew put on the Ghibli film ‘Arrietty’. He managed to coax Neil towards the middle of the couch next to him, it made him a little less tense, Andrew’s arm rested behind the couch, not touching yet.
“Neil, can I touch you, yes or no?”
“Touch me how?” His voice was a little tense, his fingers flexed.
“Hand on your shoulder, on your arm, hand in your hair if you want.”
“Yeah...yes that sounds nice. Just over the clothes.”
“Okay.”
Andrew started off small, his hand just resting on Neil's shoulder then rubbing small circles on it. He hears Neil sigh quietly, leaning into his touch, whether Neil did intentionally or not Andrew will never know but he takes it as a good sign. Andrew moves his hand down to his arm, rubbing his hand up and down, occasionally massaging the tense spots in Neils’s arm.
“Still okay Neil?”
Neils hums, nuzzling his face into the side of Andrew's neck. He can barely keep his eyes open, and he hasn't even been here that long.
“Yeah…yeah.Really nice…you're really nice. Play with my hair?”
The tips of Andrew’s ears turn pink, him and the word nice are almost never in the same sentence.
“Yeah, whatever you want rabbit.”
Andrew can feel a smile on his neck.
“Is someone happy?” Andrew teases, yet he wasn’t expecting a response. A lot of people don’t talk back to him when he’s teasing or bickering.
“Yeah…I’m-I’m feeling the most relaxed I have in weeks.”
Andrew hums, bringing his hand up to Neil’s hair, running his fingers through it, gently tugging out the knots. Or at least he thinks he is, until Neil whines.
“Careful ‘Drew…that hurts…” Neil mumbles, moving his arms across his stomach, he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to touch.
“Hey, could I-if you're okay with it, obviously umm-”
“Yes Neil, you can hold me to. Nothing below the waist, above the clothes. And I’m trying to be careful. Your hair is just super tangly.”
“S’okay…it happens.” Neil mutters, carefully wrapping one arm around Andrew’s waist, peeking one eye up to see any signs of discomfort.
“It’s okay Neil, I’ll be the first to say if something makes me uncomfortable. Same goes for you, you tell me right away.”
Neil hums, snuggling into Andrew’s side. The movie is becoming a small buzz in his ear, he’s soaking up all of the warmth and comfort from Andrew. Who knows if this would happen again? Is he even deserving of this? He should just be grateful, not greedy. The thought made his insides coil, his chest tightened, his eyes burn and turn wet. He’s glad Andrew can’t see him, how embarrassing would that be?
Suddenly the warmth is gone, Andrew is gone. Why? Neil shoots up, wiping his eyes searching for Andrew, he didn’t go far he just sat up a small space between them now.
“Andrew?” His voice was small and shaky, he hated it.
“You're crying and shaking. What did I do Neil?” Neil shakes his head, if he talks now, he knows only a pathetic broken sob would come out.
“I need you to tell me.I won’t do anything else until you tell me.” His voice was firm, non-negotiable. No way of getting it out now, not when he still so desperately wanted- no needed Andrew’s warmth, his touch.
“It’s not you…I promise. It was-It was me, my brain wasn't being nice to me.Hold me again?”
Andrew seems to agree, but stops midway as he reaches for Neil.
“Neil, how would you feel about sitting in my lap?” Neil chokes on his tea.
“E-Excuse me?” Neil hits his chest, his face burning a bright red. You almost couldn’t tell where his hair started and where the blush ended.
“Forget how to swallow rabbit? It was only an idea, if you don’t-”
“No! No…I would like to. You just uh…caught me off guard is all.” Andrew smirked at his eager answer.
“Silence.”
Andrew laughs, patting his lap. Neil got even redder if possible.
“You really-You want me to-” Neil was truly embarrassed, tears pricked the corners of his eyes. His mother always said he didn’t know how to regulate his emotions so he always cried. Guess he hasn't grown out of that.
“No, no. Not the tears again. I was only teasing . Can I grab you and move you myself since you're such a princess?” Neil huffs, muttering how he's not a princess but also mutters a yes.
Andrew carefully grabs Neil by the waist and moves him onto his lap, Neil’s legs resting on both sides of Andrew’s thighs, straddling him. This feels a lot more…intaminate than Neil thought, His checks still burn, clinging to the back of Andrew’s old faded t-shirt.
“What did you mean when you said ‘my brain wasn't being nice to me?’” Neil stilled, is it worth mentioning? It’s said much worse, he always held it in. No one to really tell anyways. But just maybe…
“I was…I was just enjoying this and the…well my brain was like ‘what if you only get this once? Take what you can and don’t be greedy.’ and things like ‘ do I really deserve this?’ The thought of not having this just made me…sad? I don’t know, I’m just happy with what I’m getting now. So…thank you for just giving me this. Giving me you, your time, your touch…”
Andrew hasn’t said anything, even when Neil poked the back of his neck. Neil pulled back, looking at Andrew. And oh.
“Are you blushing Andrew? Oh you are! Ma fraise. So adorable.”
Neil pokes the tip of his ear and Andrew flares at him, it really has no effect with how wide his pupils are, there's only a sliver of sweet hazel.
“Not.A.Word.”
Neil is giggling to himself, and he can hear Andrew’s string of curse words underneath his breath. After Neil is done with his giggle fit, and Andrew feels like he can form a sentence he looks outside and at the clock.
“Neil, it’s pretty late and raining. Why don’t you stay tonight? I have a spare bedroom if you’d like or you can lay with me. I don’t care.”
“You’re sure? You don’t have to feel-”
“Neil, remember what I said earlier? I don’t offer things I don’t want, I’m leaving this up to you.” Neil nods, and Andrew quirks an eyebrow waiting for his answer.
“I would like to then…lay with you I mean.”
“Alright, that just means you have to get off of me first rabbit. You can cuddle and burrow into me after we get ready for bed.”
Neil huffs, reluctantly sliding off Andrew’s lap, He already misses his warmth, the weight on his body. He shivers despite being in sweats and a sweater.
The both of them head into the bathroom to brush their teeth, he has one of those big bathrooms with the double sinks. Andrew had a drawer full of extra bathroom necessities. He claims he just forgets and buys them. (that's not it though, he always has extra because his friends are forgetful when they stay over)
Neil sleepily stumbles after Andrew, holding the end of his sleeve as he navigates the dark hallway.
“I take the wall side, you have to lay in front of me.”
“Okay…I like that plan…”
Neil shuffles to the bed, laying on his respective side as instructed.
“I’m double checking my doors. I’ll be back.”
Neil dozes as soon as his head hits the pillow, snuggled underneath the comforter and being comforted by Andrew’s smell. The smell of cigarettes, which brings a bittersweet feeling and the refreshing smell of cedarwood. He’s feigning in and out of consciousness. He flinches hard though when he feels the bed dip, for just a moment.
“It’s alright. Just me, Andrew.” A sigh of relief flew out of him, even though logically he knew that.
“I know…just-nevermind. Thank you…for all of this. This was nice…fun even. For me at least- I don’t know about-”
“Neil.” He sounded exhausted, was it because of him?
I’m doing it again. I’m too much. I need to stop. Just stop, annoying him. You are. Just be-
Something flicked him.
“Ow! Why’d you flick me?’
“You're doing it again, is your mind like a rabbit too? Always going. I could feel you thinking. Brain not being nice again?” Andrew’s voice sounded surprisingly soft, Neil supposed it was because it was late. Well past midnight. Neil shrugged his shoulders; he had used all of his mental capacity for the day. He wants to rest, and it’s so very close.
“Can I hug you again?”
“Yes Neil.”
In an instant Neil has his arms around Andrew’s waist, holding him tight. He’s radiating heat like a heater; it makes Neil even more drowsy.
“Yes or no Neil?”
“Yes…It’s always a yes with you.” Andrew does the same, wrapping his arms around Neil’s waist. Running his fingers through his hair again, it’s all soft and untangled from earlier.
“It’s a yes until it isn’t…but we will talk more later. Sleep now rabbit.”
Neil mumbled a half aware ‘goodnight ‘Drew before he fully fell asleep seconds later. For Andrew, it took him a bit longer, taking in Neil’s cute sleeping form. Holding him tighter every time he twitches in his sleep or shifts a little too much. Andrew eventually dozes off, content listening to Neil’s breathing and his small sleep rambles.
Maybe Andrew won’t kill Nicky for sending his Neil his way.