Work Text:
There weren’t many traditions the Nash family had when Evan grew up; his dad- Bobby- had no thousand year long rituals, and since his mother abandoned him at two weeks old any customs he may have inherited were washed away the second he was left swaddled on his dad’s doorstep. Despite having nothing pre-made for the duo they fell into their own cycles when they would spend each Sunday cooking together, sometimes it was Bobby teaching Evan a tried and tested meal but other times the duo would experiment just to see what would happen. Dancing around the kitchen listening to Bruce Springsteen with his dad was one of his favourite ways to spend his days. It came second only to stargazing.
When Evan turned four years old he developed a fascination with stars, space and aliens- he was determined to grow up and be an astronaut so he could speak to a Martian and ask them if they have cheese in space. Evan wanted space themed books, and toys, and costumes. He only ever wanted to watch space themed films and would throw the most unhinged temper tantrums at the mere thought of anything else. It was because of his son’s newfound obsession that led Bobby down his own rabbit hole where he began to research more about the stars and their constellations. It took him two weeks but eventually he had some basic knowledge that a four year old could comprehend glued to the recesses of his mind to tell his son about.
Bobby harvested it, watered the tidbits of information as he waited for the right moment until one day, even going as far as to buy and hide a telescope in his bedroom. One day, as he was walking out of the firehouse at the end of a shift he sat in the driver's seat of his car driving home for a quick power nap before needing to pick Evan up from school when he heard the radio that Orion’s Belt will be prominent in the sky that night. For the rest of the journey back Bobby felt giddy with excitement and found he couldn’t calm his mind enough to successfully have a power nap so instead he vacated to the kitchen to brew himself a coffee and brushed up on his Orion’s Belt knowledge to make sure he would get this right- for Evan.
Bobby was diving deep into space as he memorised age-appropriate information he was startled when his alarm chimed to alert him that it was time to pick up Evan and Bobby was practically vibrating with excitement. The sun setting on the horizon for the evening couldn’t come fast enough. Quickly, Bobby made sure he was adequately dressed for parent pick up as a previous undesirable outfit had placed Bobby on a podium from some of the other parents for ‘fashion-don’ts’ and even at his grown age he succumbed to peer pressure and made sure he was dressed well from then on. Since he was accustomed to quick changes Bobby was picked up ready in just three minutes flat, and whilst he hadn’t ever timed it he was sure this was a new record for him. Grabbing his keys Bobby hopped in his car ready to collect his son.
Driving through the expansive streets of St Paul Bobby had to often slow himself down as he found himself subconsciously speeding, desperate to go and meet his son at preschool pick up. Even with his short journey- Bobby made sure that the school he chose for his son was both adequately rated for education but also a short drive from both his home or the fire station, luckily the school was located right in the middle- Bobby was pleased how smoothly everything was since that wasn’t always guaranteed. Every light was green and every road was free from traffic and Bobby sent a quick, silent thank you to the universe as he pulled into his son’s school and managed to find an open parking space fairly close to the pick up spot.
For a few minutes Bobby just waited, sometimes he passed this dreary period of time by chatting to a fellow parent, however today he was too pent up about his surprise and wanted the only person he spoke to be his son. Miraculously- as it wasn’t unusual for his child to be dragging his feet to leave the preschool- Evan was the first child to fly out of the double doors of the preschool, holding his teacher's hand firmly, before spotting his dad waiting patiently and began pulling against the teacher's hold. It took a few seconds for Evan’s teacher to locate Bobby in the sea of parents but once she did she gave him a little wave and released her hold on the overenthusiastic four year old.
Bracing for impact Bobby knelt down and opened his arms wide as his four year old came barreling towards him. Letting out a small ‘oomph’ as Evan collided with his chest Bobby squeezed his son tightly and rocked the two gently for a moment before Bobby let Evan go and stood up, taking his hand in his. As the two began walking towards the car Evan began eagerly monologuing about his day; he fingerpainted in the morning, and learnt his phonics in the afternoon. As he listened eagerly to his son Bobby pondered on his life at the moment and felt full with love and adoration, he had a job he loved and a son who lit up every room, Bobby was so glad that he was making sure Evan’s childhood was far superior to his own- he refused to be like his own father.
After Bobby buckled Evan into his carseat and sorted himself out behind the wheel the duo began their trek back home, Evan still nattering away. The suspense of proclaiming his news to his son was gnawing away at him but Bobby knew better than to interrupt his son when he was passionately chatting about the things he cared about- he could wait. The opportunity to tell Evan his plan happened as soon as Bobby put his key in the front door and twisted it. Evan’s talking fell silent and his bambi eyes lifted to look at his dad as he asked sincerely,
“What did you do today, daddy?”
Hearing his son take a genuine interest in his day made Bobby’s heart swell. As he pushed open the door he looked down at his son’s earnest expression and bent down to carry him inside, squeezing Evan’s sides lightly, before responding honestly,
“Well, in work I stopped a lady’s kitchen from catching fire, and I helped a little girl who fell of her bike, and I helped rescue a cat from a really tall tree. But, the most exciting thing that happened today is the surprise I have for you when the sun goes down.”
Evan’s eyes went wide as he absorbed what Bobby said and he began wiggling in his dad’s hold. Clapping his hands in glee Evan screeched, “what is it daddy?”
Bobby just tapped his nose suspiciously and replied, “it’s a surprise, baby, everything will be revealed when it is nighttime."
Evan pouted but astonishingly didn’t throw a tantrum over it. Bobby decided that since his son would normally be asleep way before sunset that, even though his son had stopped having naps after daycare, he would warm some milk up so he could send his son off to sleep- just this once. His plan, to Bobby’s excitement, worked and Evan nodded off with no issues and slept soundly for an hour and a half before waking up. In that time Bobby retrieved the telescope from where he left it and set it up outside ready for the evening. Once Evan was awake again the father-son duo enjoyed a meal together.
Eventually, too long for both Bobby and Evan’s liking, the sky darkened and the first sight of stars twinkled. There were no clouds covering up the sky so Bobby knew to expect a symphony of twinkling lighting up the night sky. When Bobby noticed the time he swiftly ushered Evan outside he couldn’t hide his grin at the squall that left Evan’s mouth as he noticed the telescope set up and ready to use. Evan rushed towards it and began jumping frantically around it as if he couldn’t believe his eyes- which was most likely the case. Pointing at the object Buck looked back at Bobby with unadulterated joy before exclaiming,
“Daddy! Daddy, look! It’s a telescope, to look at the stars!”
Bobby came to join his son and answered, “Oh wow, kiddo! Now we can look up and see some constellations, can't we? Shall we see if there are any tonight.”
Evan nodded his head frantically so Bobby began to peer through the lens, explaining to an impatient Evan that he was simply lining it up so he would be able to see something beyond complete darkness, and soon found the object of his desire: Orion’s Belt. Bobby grinned to himself and focused the telescope so the image was perfect before leaning back and grabbing Evan from underneath his armpits to lift him up to the viewfinder. It took a few moments of silence where Evan was clearly taking a moment to focus his eyes but then there was an eager howl and Bobby knew that Evan had seen the constellations.
“DADDY! Daddy, it’s onion’s belt.” The mispronunciations from his son melted Bobby’s heart and he held his son a little bit tighter as he correctly sweetly.
“Orion’s Belt, baby.”
Evan pulled away so he could turn around and pout at Bobby, “That’s what I said, daddy!”
Knowing that this was a battle Bobby had no chance of losing he just agreed with Evan and the two stargazed in a comfortable silence for a short while. Bobby peppered in some of his newfound knowledge around the shining constellation and each new fact with childlike enchantment. For the next half an hour the two revelled in the night sky and Bobby didn’t think he had ever felt so fulfilled than in this moment as he fed his son’s interests; it was something his father never did for him so Bobby was more than pleased to have broken that cycle. Suddenly, Evan yawned loudly a handful of times, his eye still glued to the eyepiece, and Bobby knew that the night was drawing to a close.
Bobby put Evan down and hastily ignored the protests from his son otherwise his resolve would break and he would spend the whole night with his son exploring space. To calm his son down Bobby knelt down so he was eye level with Evan and explained calmly,
“Baby I have heard you yawning three times now, it’s time for bed baby.”
He steered his son inside and upstairs to the boys bedroom before preparing the boy for bed. Once Evan was changed into freshly washed rocket ship pyjamas and his teeth had been scrubbed to perfection Bobby began their nightly routine. Evan was laying snug under his glow in the dark star and moon covers with Bobby tucking him in tightly, and once the boy was secured tightly Bobby then pulled out a book from Evan’s shelf; Snail in Space and began to read.
After that day the Nash duo fell into a welcomed routine of stargazing at every opportunity. They observed the night sky from their backyard, from local parks, and even took their telescope on holidays with them when possible so they could see the stars from all around. The telescope became a symbol of Evan- who grew up to develop the nickname Buck after he joined his high school football team- and Bobby’s father-son relationship, and even after the original one Bobby bought when Buck was four years old broke from repeated use and they had to replace it with a new one the metaphor held strong. Stargazing became more than just a past time but a world full of euphoric memories with no plausible way to tarnish the memories. Even after Buck grew out of his space phase he never lost his love of stargazing with his dad, and neither party felt the same joy stargazing when the other wasn’t there.
When Buck chose to solo travel across the USA he would look up at the shimmering stars he knew his dad was also looking up at the sky despite the thousands of miles between them, but neither picked up a telescope. The intricate examinations of the constellations started back up when Buck and Bobby were reunited in Los Angeles and Evan chose to embark on a new journey into becoming a firefighter. Once certified and employed in his fathers house, at the shock of his dad since he was unaware his son joined the academy, the two would take themselves up to the fire station’s rooftop terrace and gaze up at the sky pointing out all the things they could see. After two months they bought the station their own telescope.
So now, no longer the rambunctious little four year old he once was, Buck lay on the grass looking up into the sombre sky with its freckles spanning as far as his eyes could see. The grass was damp underneath his body but Buck lay still as he searched amongst the stars for a specific configuration of stars, he was desperate to find them so he could have some peace of mind.
“The radio said that Orion’s Belt would be visible tonight, that there would be no clouds in the sky so it should be easy to spot- even without a telescope. I really hope that is true because I don’t think I can use another one without you, dad.”
Buck lay there, motionless on the grass,for the majority of the night before eventually brewing up the courage to sit up as the sky began to lighten in the distance. He looked down at the gravestone by his feet- the words:
Here lies Robert Wade Nash.
Loving father, husband, and friend to those who knew him.
Forever in the stars.
Were engraved across it- and Buck rested a kind hand on the top of it. Tears began streaming down his face uncontrollably.
“I really miss you, daddy. I want to look at the stars with you one last time.” Evan’s voice cracked at the words, before he mustered up the strength to turn and walk out of the cemetery.