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Random1: Guys, guess who got reincarnated and is on twitter
Septhuitneuf: who, and also why do we care
Random2: Because it’s the guy we just did that project on
Septhuitneuf: Oh, you mean my actual father
Random2: wait ur here the same time as ur dad, that’s awkward
Random1: yes, Alexander Hamilton is on twitter
Septhuitneuf: what’s the twitter handle
Random1: ur gonna stalk him on twitter?
Septhuitneuf: well, it might just be some imposter or something idk i have to check to make sure
Random2: how will u even be able to tell?
Septhuitneuf: trust me, u’ll kno real quick if it’s him or not
Random1: Okay but like, why do u call him dad
Septhuitneuf: He was my father ? ? ? and i can’t bring myself to say pops, sorry
Random2: u called alexander hamilton pops
Septhuitneuf: HE WAS MY F A T H E R
Random1: ok but like if i met my parents from before i wouldn’t care
Random2: he has a point
Septhuitneuf: i get that, but also
Septhuitneuf: adotham was a lot cooler dad than some random midwestern engineer sorry #notsorry
Random1: wasn’t he a terrible father tho
Septhuitneuf: he worked a lot and he cheated on my mom and then ruined our lives, sure, but he loved us
Random1: . . .
Septhuitneuf: honestly just pls stop insulting him
Random2: didn’t he have like twenty kids which one even where u
Septhuitneuf: I WAS THE FIRST, I SHALL HAVE YOU KNOW, AKA THE FAVORITE
Random1: you have no way of knowing u were the favorite
Septhuitneuf: my mom was pregnant when i died and they named the new kid after me, so, yeah, sorry
Random2: that’s fuckign weird
Septhuitneuf: wtfth do NOT insult my mother like i can admit that my dad wasn’t the best role model
Septhuitneuf: but my mother literally has done nothing wrong ever
Random1: but how do u kno
Septhuitneuf: literally google eliza schuyler hamilton and u will learn of only the most pure of women
Random2: okay but how do u even remember ur fuckign parents from ur previous life bc i sure as hell don’t
Septhuitneuf: Even If i tally both lives together I’m still not forty
Random1: shit son u a smol child
Septhuitneuf: okay i get that but at least i’m P R E T T Y in both lifetimes
Random2: u cannot go around calling urself pretty man
Septhuitneuf: but it’s tru
Random1: okay but like how much of ur life now is influenced by ur previous one
Septhuitneuf: too much
Random2: how did u die
Septhuitneuf: that’s not something u just ask someone holy shit
Septhuitneuf: but if u must kno it was in a duel, like a M A N
Random1: didn’t hamilton die in a duel
Random2: yeah he did, aaron burr shot him - literally only thing i remember from american history
Septhuitneuf: AARON BURR CAN GO CURL UP AND DIE IN A HOLE O M F G
Random1: dude wtf has he ever done to you
Septhuitneuf: . . .
Random1: also, pretty sure he’s on the debate team of one of the school’s we’re up against
Septhuitneuf: wait really
Random2: I mean, u kno the coach got the list of declared reincarnates bc he’s rly close with one of the guys on the board of the competition
Septhuitneuf: I actually, didn’t?
Random2: yeah man, he pulled the list up at a club meeting and then just started crying and left
Septhuitneuf: l o l u cannot be serious
Random2: Pretty sure I am, yeah. I wasn’t really paying that much attention, but some kid next to me mentioned burr, so maybe
Septhuitneuf: I am going to f i g h t him
Random1: wouldn’t ur now parents object to that
Septhuitneuf: yes, but my then dad would 100% support me so it’s fine
Random2: I don’t think that’s how that works
Septhuitneuf: well, he’s supposedly out there in the real world somewhere and remembers, so I’m sure it’s fine
Random1: alright so i was scrolling thru the guy’s twitter feed and apparently he’s either legit or is really good at ranting angrily in old timey style
Random1: also he keeps mentioning other supposed historical figures ??
Septhuitneuf: Who?
Random1: @Gwash @Lafayette @Tjefferson @Jmadison @Jlaurens @Adotburr @BetseyHam @MariaRey @HerculesMull @TheoBurr @AngelSchuy @MargaritaSch
Septhuitneuf: SHIT SON
Random2: I recognize like three of those people
Septhuitneuf: why do my dad’s and burr’s handles match
Random1: they could be fucking
Septhuitneuf: N O
Septhuitneuf: besides, theodosia is there, so it’s fine
Random2: pls explain who all these people are
Septhuitneuf: u guys are helpless, fuckign learn ur history pls
Random1: NOT ALL OF US LIVED DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTIOn
Septhuitneuf: lol i didn’t live during the revolution, i was born right as it ended - AMERICA WAS BUILT JUST FOR ME GUYS
Random2: no, it wasn’t
Septhuitneuf: me and theodosia 2.0
Random2: wtf
Septhuitneuf: I read an essay analyzing just how intertwined burr’s life was with my dad’s
Random1: okay but back to explaining who they are
Septhuitneuf: Right
Septhuitneuf: @Gwash is George Washington, which is pretty neat-o, he was cool
Random2: did u just call george washington cool
Septhuitneuf: yeah, my dad and him were pretty tight
Random1: wait guys, he’s apparently running for president? And his name is now George Warner?
Random1: adotham just retweeted the announcement from @gwash
Septhuitneuf: I would love to say i’m surprised but i bet u that @gwash did not come to this decision on his own
Random2: why wouldn’t he want to be president?
Septhuitneuf: bc he never really wanted to be?
Random1: the more u kno
Septhuitneuf: alright but yeah lafayette is some french guy, and was one dad’s friends. Thomas Jefferson, fuckign bastard, I feel like u should kno. @jmadison is James Madison, tjeff’s friend and also wrote the bill of rights - wrote the federalist papers with my dad. @jlaurens = John Laurens, dad’s friend who died @Adotburr = Aaron Burr, aka the man with no opinions and is perfectly willing to switch political parties to further his career and also kills people @betseyham = MY MOTHER i rly hope so anyways @MariaRey = someone who i hope is NOT maria reynolds tbh @heruclesmull = hercules mulligan, another of dad’s friends @theoburr = Theodosia Burr, burr’s wife @angelschuy = Angelica Schuyler, aka my aunt. @margaritasch = Peggy Schuyler, aka my other aunt
Random2: if u ever see these people u r never going to get away with anything ever again
Septhuitneuf: probs not, but i’ll be chill w/ the prez which will be neat
Random1: okay did u kno gwash or was it more like my dad met him once
Septhuitneuf: he had dinner at our house
Random2: W t f
Random1: also why do u keep talking as if it’s happened in this life
Septhuitneuf: because my life this time around has literally been so boring
Septhuitneuf: the only thing that motivates me to keep on living is that my previous life felt like it had some sort of meaning
Random2: dude that’s too deep
Septhuitneuf: watevr
Septhuitneuf: so u guys r voting for my father’s (and america’s) dad right
Random1: better than trump
Random2: i mean, i’m not passing up the chance to vote for george washington
Random1: also wtf was george washington seriously ur grandfather
Septhuitneuf: L O L no
Random1: dude wtf is wrong with u i thought u were normal
Random2: does knowing ur not alone bring out this wild side of you
Septhuitneuf: dude i’m literally the same as i’ve ever been, i’m just talking about historical figures now
Random1: I guess
Random2: okay, but really important, wtf did u even duel someone
Septhuitneuf: he insulted my father
Random1: why did that bother u so much
Septhuitneuf: bc i really wanted to be like him, but like more extra, which i now realize is probably impossible
Septhuitneuf: no one can be more extra than alexander hamilton
Random2: I was about to try to say that he couldn’t have been that bad but he literally just tweeted a video of some random kid rap battling at a debate with #gpoy#reynoldspamphlet#gwashforprez#fuckseabury
Random2: there’s someone beatboxing in the background, and the opposing team is crying ? ? ?
Septhuitneuf: that’s probs him
Random1: no, bc ur dad’s not allowed to be hot
Septhuitneuf: G R O S S
Random2: i might actually believe that bc he’s wearing an old fashioned army uniform ? ? ?
Random2: actually most people in the video are
Random1: the other team is just wearing red wtf
Septhuitneuf: wait we’re gon have to debate my dad
Random1: if he’s on the team, yeah
Septhuitneuf: be ready to have ur asses s l a y e d especially with this topic
Random2: but we have u
Septhuitneuf: l o l
Septhuitneuf: wait
Septhuitneuf: actually that might work, he might stop out of shock
Septhuitneuf: actually nah
Septhuitneuf: he’d still fight us