Work Text:
The screaming of the people of Oakhurst had died down a long time ago. No soul left to tell the tale of what happened this night. But why do I care? I'm never coming back. Not that I want to. Not that I can. Not after all that happened.
The whole massacre, and the first few hours after that are like one big blur. I just remember wandering around the forest, calling out to someone- to him. Who else could I call out to? Everyone else is dead. Either in Oakhurst, or in the old castle up north. I made sure none of them would walk out of either of these places alive. Not after what they've done... They don't deserve such mercy.
I eventually stumble into the same tower where he brought me in the past. Away from prying eyes, away from the burning remains of the town. It's filled with dust, cobwebs and debris. With my body still heavy with blood I drank, and sluggish from the carnage I brought, I barely remember hiding in the rubble. As deep as I can, so that no one can find me. I don't want to be found. Not by humans, not by vampires, not by anyone who could make me hurt again. Not by anyone else, other than him. But he can no longer find me. Not after what they did to him.
These disgusting, rotten humans... They deserved what I did to them. They deserved everything - all the suffering, all the pain, feeling their limbs being pulled apart one by one, their throats sliced open. After how they crossed me, how they crossed Louis... They loved their kind, caring mayor so much, until it turned out that he was just a little different to them. Just after the kindness he offered to me... They took him from me. They imprisoned him. Tortured him, probably. And then they burned him at stake.
Do they even know how long a vampire needs to burn to die...?
I bury myself even deeper. Maybe at some point, some wild animal will come for me, to eat out my insides. Maybe I'll just freeze to death on one of the cold, winter nights. Maybe I can just starve to death.
Anything, just to see him again.
Eventually, the adrenaline wears off. Right after it, tears follow. I don't even stop them.
I'm not sure how much time has passed. It could've been a few hours, or maybe even a few weeks. A bit of light seeps through the broken windows, but I stopped counting how many times it switched between day and night. Especially when my eyes get wet and my vision blurs. I never wanted to let Louis see me cry, even when the pain got really bad. I wanted him to always see me at my best, just like he always showed himself to me at his best. What an incredible man he was... I still remember the first time he touched my hands. He didn't recoil, didn't wince in disgust. He didn't even comment on their state, on all the open wounds and blemishes. And the way he talked to me from day one, this warmth in his eyes... I never felt anything like that before. And I would give anything to feel that again.
How could they have done this? To him? To the kindest, most perfect man to ever walk this unholy world?
And for what? Just because he was a little different to them?
I try wriggling my fingers. They feel stiff. I can't recall the last time I actually moved them. Not that it matters. Sooner or later, something will come after me and eat me. And then, I'll see him again.
Any day now.
Eventually, all the blood I drank finished ingesting. I don't even flinch, even when my stomach is screaming at me to get up and go hunt something. I can't. My body no longer feels like mine. How much time has passed? I thought I saw snow outside of the window, but it's gone now. Was it the first time I've seen it, since ending up here?
Snow... It's white, just like Louis' hair. I only saw him with white hair once. It was on the day he gave me his gift. The day when I saw him for the last time... Well, the last time I saw him alive. Unless... No. I had to have been wrong. He was already dead when I came.
All these people who claimed they killed him, because they worried for me... Such fools. If they really did worry for me, was that really the first thing that came to their heads? To take the only person who ever extended his hand to me, and burn him at the pyre? They deserved it, all of it. They should've burned there, not him. The whole town, burning down... What a beautiful sight that would’ve been. I could've been watching this with Louis, sitting somewhere on a hill together, laughing... Maybe even holding hands...
I don't understand what Louis saw in Oakhurst. It was a town like any other. Not that I've seen many other towns... But I’ve seen this one. Filled with so many rotten people, who only cared about themselves.
They didn't truly care about me, did they? What if they were out to get Louis even before he agreed to bestow his gift upon me? What if I was just their excuse?
If so... Was it my fault...?
I turn from my back to my stomach. The rubble falls from my head and down on the ground. It hurts. My head, I mean. And my stomach, too. I'm used to hunger, but this hurts. Louis told me that vampires can go quite a while without eating, but this is probably pushing it. I should get up, get something, maybe return home...
No. I can't. I have to stay. Here, where nothing can find me. Nothing but him... If he could still find me, that is.
I'll stay a little longer. Maybe then, I'll see him again.
I had to close my eyes. If I kept staring outside, I risked forgetting what he looked like.
I never had any strong feelings about anyone in particular. I expected to never find someone I'd love - and even if I did, I knew I would never have this feeling reciprocated. But Louis... I still remember the first time I saw him. He was so... Stunning. His deep, brown eyes, that looked at me with so much curiosity and care. His kind, soft features, that he didn't shy away from letting me touch. His warm, loving hands. They felt incredible whenever he touched me... He loved pulling his fingers through my hair. I can never cut it now. Louis said he liked it like that - long, curly, a little scruffy... He didn't find me disgusting because of my illness. And all these words he called me... Sweetheart. Dear. Dearest, even. His voice was so sweet, melodic... I loved listening to him, even when I didn't understand what he was talking about. What a smart man he was... And he always sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Never hesitated, never pondered anything too much. Always knew what to do, what to say.
What would he think of me now, seeing me buried in a pile of rubble, just waiting to die...?
I did what I had to do. I avenged him. I made sure everyone who hurt him suffered the same pain; tenfold. They didn't deserve anything else. But that wouldn't bring him back. Not when he-
No, I was too late. Maybe if my transformation didn't take three damned days... I should've woken up earlier. I should've been there to defend him. To take the blame, maybe. To burn at the stake instead of him... They already thought of me as a monster. If they killed me instead of Louis... Well, then Louis would have to see me die. I doubt he'd want that, but he would’ve lived...
Would he want me to live right now...?
No, it doesn't matter what he wanted.
As long as I see him again...
I almost slap myself for thinking that.
It doesn't matter what he wanted? Of course it did, it still does! Louis, the kindest, sweetest man I've ever met... The most wonderful soul to ever walk this world. I curl up in my spot again, my claws digging into my hair, pulling on them. Some of my claws dig into my scalp. It hurts. But not as much as losing him... It's like a giant, gaping wound. It will never heal. I will never let it heal. I will wear it on my sleeve, proudly open, for the rest of my life. So that if I ever stumble upon any other living being, they know exactly why they deserve their suffering.
It's not just the people of Oakhurst that deserve this fate. It's every human that deserves to suffer. They're the real plague. Not anything that ever afflicted me... They are.
And they foolishly thought they were doing the right thing, by burning Louis... No, it doesn't matter what they were thinking. I made them pay, and I would do it again. And if I ever meet another human, I will make them suffer just as much. This human need to spread violence, to kill, to destroy...
Was I like that at some point? It's not been too long since I was a human... (Or, at least, I think so. I can't recall how long it's been. I see the trees outside losing their leaves. Again. I lost count of how many times I've seen them do that.) But Louis still accepted me... Me, a merely, dirty human, and made me so much more. Gave me a part of himself, to fix me, to heal me... And now, this little part was all that was left of him. I needed the whole world to know what they've done, and what they allowed to happen. I will burn them. I will destroy every single human that ever dared to let their unholy heart beat too close to me.
And then, I'll see him again.
At this point, the hunger is unbearable. But I still can't move.
Louis promised that once I'm turned, he would take me in. He would show me everything. He'd teach me how to hunt, how to use my powers, how to blend in with the humans... In the end, I had to figure out the first two on my own. I will never do the third one. Why would I lower myself to their level? I'm nothing like them. I would never commit such a heinous crime, of destroying someone just based on what they are-
I just did that.
No, no no no, that was different. They started it. They deserved it, every bit of it. The people that plotted against Louis? That planted fake evidence and accused him of occultism? They deserved it above everyone else. Every single man and woman in town, even the ones that claimed they did like Louis? They were complacent to see him get burned. The children? They would've grown up to be just as full of disgusting hate as their parents. I actually did the world a favor. I helped it get rid of its disease of humanity.
But that was not enough. That wouldn't bring Louis back. He still suffered, and died, and I-
And I didn't save him.
Did I even deserve to see him again...?
The trees lost their leaves once more.
Hunger is now a part of me. It's like another limb, but in contrast to my legs or arms, it never goes numb. I feel it the whole time. But I can't do anything to stop it. I don't want to do anything to stop it.
My arm tingles as I pull my hand over my face. Claws digging into my skin, leaving cuts that will heal over too soon. Why am I still alive? At this point, even with how sluggish his mind feels, I can tell it's been years. A human can survive two, three weeks without food. How long does it take for a vampire to die of starvation? Is it even possible? Have I just wasted all this time waiting to die, only for that to never be a possibility in the first place?
All the injuries I sustained during the massacre are barely a memory now. The physical ones, at least. Not the mental ones. I can still feel the fire licking my skin. I can see the men, women and children running for safety, only to end up in the grasp of my claws either way. I can hear the screams of the dying people- And the one scream I never wanted to hear.
I could've saved him...
The memory envelops me, and I'm powerless to stop it. I'm back there. Back in the middle of Oakhurst. The streets run crimson of the blood of all the people. Bodies litter every corner of the town, dismembered or torn into pieces. Fire leaves the pyre and begins spreading to the wooden, flammable buildings. Good. I stop for just a second, to catch my breath. I add the last few victims in my head. Almost two thousand eight hundred people. I'm not sure what the exact population of Oakhurst is, but I must be about done with everyone-
And then, the loudest of screams pierces the sky. Wailing. Grieving. Inhuman.
I turn to the pyre. Louis' head slumps upon his charred body. Was that...? No, no no no, that couldn't have been him, right?! He was dead this whole time! They killed him! They killed him, and I came to avenge him.
And this whole time...
Immediately, I dash towards the pyre. The fire catches on my clothes. The sharp pieces of wood splinters into my skin. I need to reach him, to catch him, to fix it before it's too late-
It's too late.
I get to him, I shake him, yelling his name. Louis doesn't answer. His whole body is like a burned log - limp, ashy, charred. His eyes are glassy, hazy, their usual shine and energy gone. His kind, beautiful face melted, covered in soot. I leave a desperate kiss on his lips, as if that could bring him back to life.
"Louis..." I whisper, my voice breaking like my heart did. "Louis, no, no no no, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, Louis... Please, please, answer me... I'm sorry... Louis!"
No answer. I drop to my knees, clutching the corpse in my arms. Even in death, his raw beauty overwhelms my senses. He never deserved any of this to happen to him... This is not how this was supposed to be. This is not what we were supposed to be. We were meant to be safe, meant to be happy, meant to be together... My cry joins his.
I'm back. Back in a pile of rubble somewhere far, far away from Oakhurst. The trees are getting their leaves back. My body may have left this wretched town, but my mind will never leave this place. Just like my heart will never leave Louis.
I could've saved him...
I could've saved him.
I could've saved him!
Incoherent cry leaves my lungs, the same one that left them up there, at the pyre. How stupid I was, to not check with him first! Maybe if I was faster, I could've taken him off the pyre, ran away to safety, and then return to kill everyone... He would've lived. He would've lived! But he didn't! And it's all my fault! It's the fault of the humans, but also my fault! He should've been my priority! I can feel my claws digging deeper into my skin. Fine, so be it! If I can take upon myself even an ounce of the pain he went through, all because of me, and because of them... Then I shall.
Even if I don't deserve to ever see him again.
Months turn into years. Years turn into decades. Decades turn into centuries. Everything moves and blooms. Everything dies and withers. I don't move, I don't bloom. But I don't die either, and I don't wither. I don't deserve such a release. I just lay there, letting tears fall down my face. The salt in them already bit through my skin. Every single drop hurts. My skin itches. But I can't stop. This is what I deserve, after what I've done. Not what I've done to Oakhurst, curse them and every other wretched human in the world... What I've done to him. If he didn't turn me, he wouldn't have gotten caught. Or maybe I would've been around to protect him. Either way, I'm also to blame. Did he hate me, in his final moments? Did he regret all the grace and kindness he offered to me? Did he regret bestowing his gift upon me?
Did he see what I've done in his name?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to see him again. If I'd have to burn in hell for all eternity, just to see him one last time, I'd do it. To hold his hands one last time, give him a hug one last time, cry into his chest about how I'm sorry and how I should've been stronger, but I wasn't...
Would he be disappointed with me, if he saw me now? Laying in a pile of rubble, crying, starving, wishing to see him one last time? Would he be disgusted with me, seeing what I've done to his town, and to myself? I probably look like a mess right now. I don't know how much time has passed. Could be a hundred years, could be a thousand. And somehow, I haven't heard or seen a single sign of human presence in all this time. Good. But also... Would it be like that forever? Did I cleanse this place of any and all humans? Would I now be stuck here, forever, completely alone?
I wouldn't mind being here alone. I'm used to it. I've grown content in the quiet. But... I wanted to be content in the quiet...With him.
But now, I'll never see him again.
Someone arrived.
I can't exactly explain it, but I felt someone. And it wasn't just some stray animal that passed by the tower. I felt a human. Multiple, even. How long has it been since I last saw one? What were they even doing here? They came just to wake me up, huh? Very well...
If I cannot even die right... I might as well try and see if there's anything out there in the world left for me.
I know there isn't.
Slowly, carefully, I dig myself out of the rubble. My whole body hurts, after likely hundreds of years of not moving. I'm actually quite surprised it didn't just give out, that nothing came to eat my withering body. My muscles sting as they stretch for the first time in ages. My mouth feels dry. And so do my eyes, all the tears I had gone for good. Carefully, I leave the tower. The sun feels hot on my skin, even though it's likely early fall. I retrieve back inside for a moment, and only come outside after bracing myself for the world outside.
I approach the edge of the cliff, looking down at the forest. Still as disgusting as the last time I've set my eyes on it. Dead, grey, withered... I thought I'd end up like that, after all this time. Somehow, I didn't. But I can feel something moving in the belly of the woods... Living. Breathing. Skittering around the trees and bushes. I look back one last time, at the tower that served as my nest for the past centuries.
Someone just came to Oakhurst, I can feel it. I’m coming back there. And I will make them pay, just like I did the last time. I will spill their blood for you, Louis.
And then, I'll see you again.