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"I really don't know about this…"
Pomni peered down from where she perched—too precariously for her liking—on the seat of a tall unicycle, her stomach dropping and her head spinning a little as she tried to gauge the distance between herself and the hard wooden floor of the stage. She was flanked by Ragatha on one side and Zooble on the other, both of them keeping a firm grip on the unicycle to hold it still until she was ready to try riding it. Which she didn't think she would ever be. Ever.
"Aw, it'll be okay, Pomni! Who knows, maybe you'll uncover some latent, uh…unicycle-riding talent you didn't even realize you had until now!" Ragatha enthused chipperly, but her bright grin lost a little of its effervescence as she lowered her voice and added furtively, "Plus…Caine really wants you to give it a try for this next act, and I don't really know how well it'll fly with him if you refuse, given his…issues lately."
Zooble scoffed. "That's an understatement."
An involuntary shiver snaked its way down Pomni's spine, reluctantly acknowledging that they were both right. Caine had been acting very…off ever since the awards show, becoming more assertive about enforcing the circus members' participation in the events he planned and concocting increasingly wilder adventures that were somehow even more traumatizing than ever before.
Today, the ringmaster had called for what he dubbed a "performance day," where the performers would act out more traditional circus acts on the main stage for an audience of mannequins and assorted NPCs. On the surface, it sounded like a nice reprieve from the mentally scarring adventures they were typically sent on…but for Pomni, they were just a different flavor of another exercise of her endurance. She wasn't especially good at most of the acts, and she wasn't particularly fond of being launched out of a cannon or forced to scale a tightrope over a tank of sharks or having knives thrown at her while she was strapped by her ankles and wrists to a target. And she had endured all of that in her first week here alone.
"I get that, and I won't refuse or anything, but…why does it have to be me?" Pomni griped now, exhaling a huff of irritation. "I mean, couldn't he have at least picked someone with longer legs? I'm so short my feet can barely reach the pedals on this stupid thing."
A familiar, grating cackle rang out from nearby then, making Pomni jump and nearly lose her balance. She yelped and windmilled her arms until she'd righted herself, then shot a sharp look at Jax as he strolled by her, carrying an armful of bowling pins for an act she couldn't even possibly fathom. He countered her glare with the snarky grin that had started making Pomni feel itchy underneath her skin these days, ever since their argument on the day of the awards show (she was starting to think that stupid contest had been a harbinger of doom all along, when she reflected on everything that had happened since then).
"C'mon, Shortstack, I thought you said you were a thrill seeker," he taunted. "I woulda thought riding a unicycle twice as tall as you would qualify as a thrill."
Pomni frowned at him, unamused. "I like exploring abandoned buildings with both of my feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you very much. Heights are very much not my thing."
"Yeah, you can say that again," Jax quipped, sneaking in one last jab at the jester's petite stature, then laughing to himself as he sauntered toward the other side of the stage.
Pomni watched him walk off, a knot forming in her chest that had nothing to do with her impending act, conflicting feelings of anger and hurt and concern warring within her heart. Maybe she wouldn't be so mad at Jax right now, or privately worried about him, if he hadn't been trying to act like their argument had never happened in the first place. He hadn't approached her to apologize, not like she expected that in the first place. And when she decided she would be the bigger person and apologize first (even though she knew he owed it to her), he dismissively waved her off and told her to drop it before she could utter a single "sorry." He seemed stubbornly intent on pretending nothing intense had happened between them—not the fight, not the bonding, not the budding friendship he'd so snidely rubbed in Ragatha's face back at the bar adventure, nothing—and instead reverted more or less back to the way he'd treated her when she was still brand new to the circus. He ignored her for the most part, unless he was making fun of her. And for the most part, no one else seemed to notice anything was wrong or different (though lately it seemed as though Ragatha had picked up on something off between them, but respectfully hadn't pressed Pomni hard for details)…but to Pomni, it stung like salt being rubbed into an open wound.
A part of her hated that she cared so much, that she couldn't just brush it off and ignore him right back. If he was just going to pretend she didn't exist unless it was to tease her or slip a poisonous spider into her room as a prank, then why should she waste so much of her time dwelling on what had transpired between them? She knew how relentlessly cruel he could be, and it shouldn't have surprised her that he'd hone in on her biggest insecurities to break her down and push her away. She wanted to be able to just get over it and not give him the time of day anymore, she did. Life would be so much easier if she could.
But…it just wasn't in her nature. Not when she could tell he was hurting too, that he'd only pushed her away to spare his own feelings. She knew there was something hidden deep underneath the careless facade he put on for others, a pain he refused to address but that ate away at him nonetheless, that there was more behind his actions than just being a selfish and heartless jerk. She knew that was an explanation and not a justification for his behavior, and she wouldn't make any excuses for him. She just wanted to get to the root of why, so that maybe she could help him.
…If he wasn't already well beyond the point of helping, at least.
"Hey, Pomni?" Zooble's voice suddenly intercepted Pomni's ever-tangling thoughts.
"H-huh…?" Pomni stammered, shaking her head and snapping herself back into the present. "Sorry, I think I zoned out…what did you ask?"
"I was just asking if you were ready to give this a try," Zooble repeated, with more patience than Pomni expected. "Caine's only giving us an hour to practice this stupid thing before we're supposed to perform for…whatever constitutes his idea of an audience. I don't want to force you, but we kind of need to shake a leg here."
"Oh…right." Pomni exhaled slowly, nervously shaking out her hands. "Okay…um, ready as I'll ever be, I guess."
"Just pretend that you're riding a bike," Ragatha advised, in an earnest attempt to assuage the jester's stress. "Just, you know…one without handlebars and only one wheel. We'll be spotting you as best as we can from down here."
Pomni knew she wouldn't be able to convince herself it was just like riding a bicycle, but she appreciated the doll's effort to minimize her fear and the promise that she was being watched over. She offered Ragatha a weak smile and a nod in return.
"Alright, we're going to let go on the count of three," Zooble stated, and Pomni tensed, straightening her spine and stretching her legs to reach the pedals. "One, two…"
"Three!" Ragatha quickly took a step back, with Zooble following suit. "Now, Pomni!"
Pomni gulped, having no other choice but to move. She flung her arms out to the side for balance as she worked the pedals, rotating around and around, propelling her forward…just like a bike. She was wobbly and ungraceful, the wheel jerking and twisting as she struggled to right herself…but hey, she was doing it!
"Wow, Pomni, looking good so far!" Ragatha encouraged, flashing her a double thumbs-up.
"Heh, y-yeah!" Pomni kept her arms out to her sides, but she was now rolling steadily, pumping the pedals and maneuvering the unicycle in a straight line forward now. She smiled at Ragatha. "I think your suggestion worked, it is kinda just like riding a bike…maybe it's just circus logic at work again, but I think I can do this."
Ragatha beamed up at her, and her supportive grin made Pomni forget her initial trepidation and her lingering thoughts about Jax.
"Nice work." Zooble remarked approvingly, then pointed ahead at a row of neatly-arranged traffic cones. "So, Caine wants you to do this sort of obstacle course-type thing. I think he plans to have…something on fire during the final performance, but for now, we can practice with this. Training wheels, so to speak. Try to ride through the cones without bumping into them."
Pomni did not like the sound of anything being set ablaze for her actual performance, but that type of over-the-top showmanship was to be expected of the eccentric ringmaster. She decided not to think about it until the time came.
She sat up straighter, nodding in determination. "Okay. Let's see what I can do…"
Pomni rode over to the start of the line of cones, and held her breath as she carefully weaved in and out between them, wincing when the wheel of the unicycle bumped one of the cones and nudged it out of place.
"Don't worry!" Ragatha called to her. "You're doing fantastic otherwise!"
Zooble nodded their agreement. "I actually can't believe how well you're doing at this in, what, less than five minutes? You sure you were an accountant and not a professional unicycle rider in a past life?"
"Very sure." Pomni laughed a little. "If the version of me who sat behind a desk crunching numbers all day could see me riding this thing now, she'd never believe it…then again, she would never believe I'd be inhabiting the body of a little cartoon jester, either."
Zooble snickered. "Fair."
Pomni zeroed in on the makeshift course again, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration as she navigated around the remaining cones, which had been placed closer together at this point. An unexpected surge of confidence welled within her. She never thought she'd find a circus talent she was actually good at, but maybe this was where she excelled. Maybe she sucked at walking on tightropes across shark-infested waters and holding still when she was having knives hurled at her head, but if she could do at least one thing well here, she could stop questioning her place here and feel like she finally belonged…!
…Her thoughts ground to a sudden halt as her wheel rolled over something slippery on the floor, and she swerved sharply to one side.
What the…?!?
"Sh*t!!" Pomni shrieked, the censored swear tumbling from her lips before she could think twice, as the unicycle shot off underneath her. She flailed her arms desperately in a futile attempt to regain control as the unicycle veered rapidly off course, nearly running over Gangle and knocking down the bowling pins Jax had just finished setting up before careening into Kinger's pillow fort (which was now on the stage for some reason). The fort remained miraculously intact, but the force of the abrupt collision flung Pomni out of her seat and sent her hurtling toward the ground.
She landed on her awkwardly-positioned right ankle first, feeling it give with a sickening twist that made her choke on a gasp as the rest of her body slammed into the hard wood floor, the unicycle crashing on top of her.
For several long seconds she just lay there, blinking dazedly at the ceiling of the tent as literal stars in yellow and red and blue swam in her field of vision. And then the cacophony of voices, ranging in their degrees of concern and frantic energy, bombarded her ringing ears and made her head spin worse.
"Geez, Pom-Pom, way to go. It took me forever to set up those pins," Jax drawled, the hint of an amused smirk in his voice cancelling out any real irritation. "But you did score a strike, so good for you."
"Oh my gosh, what happened?!" Gangle's weepy voice rang out next, and through her haze Pomni felt a twinge of guilt twisting her heart at the realization that she might have broken the ribbon woman's mask when she nearly bowled her over.
"Oh no, Pomni! Are you okay?!" And then there was Ragatha, kneeling down beside Pomni, voice scaling upward anxiously as she tossed the unicycle to the side and tried to assess the jester's condition. "Oh, I'm so sorry! Zooble and I didn't see what happened, it all went down so fast we didn't have time to catch you before you hit the ground…oh gosh, are you alright? Did you get hurt?"
"I…ugh." Pomni moaned softly, squeezing her eyes shut against a brief wave of dizziness. Her whole side ached where she'd fallen, and her ankle throbbed dully. She lifted a hand to rub at her temple and then squinted back up at Ragatha again. "I…slipped on something and then sort of spiraled out of control…what happened, what did I slip on…?"
Zooble backtracked to the scene of the accident, examining the floor. Their eyes narrowed questioningly as they leaned down to pick something up.
"A…banana peel?" they said incredulously. "How would that have even ended up there without anyone noticing? Unless…Jax, did you do that on purpose to sabotage her?" An accusatory edge sharpened their words as they glared at the rabbit.
"Oh how you wound me, Zoobie, automatically assuming that the second something goes wrong I'm the one to blame for it." Jax pressed a hand to his chest in mock offense, but the sly glimmer in his eyes spoke otherwise. "Sadly, I can't claim this as my handiwork. I would've come up with something much more creative than a lame ol' banana peel."
"Oh, sure, because who else would—"
Just then a pillow shifted on Kinger's fort, and the chess piece himself poked his head out through the makeshift "door" he'd opened.
"Is something the matter out here?" he asked, blinking owlishly. "I heard a bit of a ruckus and thought I should check…oh, Zooble, you found it!"
"I…what?" Zooble asked, exasperation seeping into their tone.
Kinger clambered out of his fort and shuffled over to Zooble, taking the banana peel they'd been gripping in the tips of their pincer-like hand.
"I was bringing this back to my fort to feed to my fruit fly collection, but I must've dropped it without noticing," he explained calmly, like it was the most normal thing in the world to harbor a fruit fly collection…which, for Kinger, it was.
"Yeah…okay, sure, why not." Zooble shrugged it off, deciding it wasn't worth contemplating any further. "But the thing is, Pomni slid on it and crashed her unicycle."
"…Oh!" Kinger gasped, after taking several seconds to register the comment. "Terribly sorry, Pomni. Maybe I should've stuck with apple cores instead…"
"It's…it's fine, Kinger. It was just an accident…and as klutzy as I can be sometimes, it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway." Pomni offered him a weak smile, she couldn't get mad over something she knew he hadn't done on purpose. She then tilted her head back toward Ragatha, moving slowly so she wouldn't trigger another dizzy spell. "Um, can you help me sit up, please…?"
"Oh, uh, of course! Sorry, should've thought of that sooner…" Ragatha slid a supportive arm behind Pomni's back then, bracing her as she carefully eased her back into a sitting position. "There, is that better?"
"Yeah, I just—ow!" Pomni flinched and sucked in a short breath through gritted teeth as a sharp, pulsating pain seared through her right ankle the second she tried to shift positions. She held completely still, jaw clenched, then dared to experimentally wiggle her foot…and immediately regretted it when the pounding ache intensified, pinpricks of pain rippling through her ankle. "Oh god, ow…"
"Oh no…what's wrong?" Ragatha asked, her voice now heavy with worry as her eyebrows knit together anxiously.
"It's my ankle…" Pomni groaned, swallowing hard as a wave of pain-induced nausea churned in her stomach. "I landed on it sort of weird when I fell, and now it really hurts…I must have sprained it or something."
"Crap…hopefully it isn't broken instead," Zooble quipped, their tone as cool and level as usual but tinged with a trace of concern, as they crouched down beside Pomni as well. "Can you move it at all?"
"Um…" Pomni tried wiggling her foot again, wincing as renewed pain surged through her ankle. "A little, it's not like it's the most agonizing pain I've ever felt or anything, but…it really, really hurts."
"Hm, well, it's a good sign if you still have some range of mobility," Zooble replied, quickly inspecting Pomni's ankle at a glance. "But I can see it's already starting to swell a little. We need to take your shoe off so it doesn't cut off circulation, and get a closer look at the damage. Do you mind…?"
Pomni gulped nervously and nodded, giving her silent permission for Zooble to go ahead. She subconsciously grabbed the skirt of Ragatha's dress, clutching the soft blue material between trembling fingers as she braced herself for the pain, drawing in a few deep but shaky breaths. If Ragatha thought it was strange, she didn't show it, instead pressing a gentle hand against Pomni's back and letting the small jester cling to her as Zooble pried off Pomni's shoe. They did so very slowly and carefully, but an airy hiss of pain still escaped from between Pomni's clenched teeth as the shoe was tugged off and her sock peeled away.
"Yeesh…" Zooble muttered. "Yeah, no, I don't think it's broken…but it's definitely sprained, probably a grade two sprain judging by the looks of it."
It was only then that Pomni realized she'd involuntarily squeezed her eyes shut, and she dared to tentatively open one to assess the damage herself…and then swallowed hard against the bile creeping up her throat as another wave of nausea rolled through her stomach, wishing she hadn't looked. Her ankle was definitely swollen, and there was an ugly-looking bump protruding from the side of her foot she had landed on that made her feel lightheaded to look at for too long.
"H-how bad is a grade two sprain, exactly?" Pomni asked faintly, and felt relieved when Ragatha tightened her grip on her as she swayed slightly. "I sprained my wrist one time, but I don't remember it looking like…this."
"Well, a grade two means you must've torn a ligament, at least partially," Zooble replied, and Pomni shivered as her stomach lurched. Her anxiety must've been apparent in her expression—probably her eyes, reverted to vibrating scribbles once more—because Zooble gave her a sympathetic look and softened their tone as they added, "But, hey, it's really not as bad as it sounds, especially here. No permanent injuries, remember? Caine'll just run a quick repair on your code and you'll be back to normal in a couple days. But for now, we should wrap your ankle up and then get you to bed so you can keep it elevated and ice it. You'll probably start seeing some bruising later on, but that's normal."
Pomni nodded feebly, grateful to let someone else take the reigns a little here—she didn't like to admit it, but things like this still made her squeamish, even with her background of medical issues and hospital visits giving the illusion that she should be accustomed to it by now (when in reality, the opposite was true). It was only then that she realized she was still gripping Ragatha's dress in one hand, and she hastily released the bunched-up wad of fabric, awkwardly shaking out her hand.
"S-sorry…" she mumbled meekly.
"No worries, I don't mind. You can hold on to me all you need while we get you fixed up," Ragatha responded with a gentle smile, patting Pomni's back reassuringly. Pomni, usually so averse to too much touching, felt grounded and protected by the hand on her back. Ragatha then addressed the group at large as she asked, "Can someone go get a first aid kit for us, please…?"
"Ah, I think I have one in my fort!" Kinger quickly hustled off toward his fort, ducking back inside.
Jax watched the chess piece retreat into the dark recesses of his pillow fort, before striding over to join Pomni, Zooble, and Ragatha.
"So, y'think it's a grade two sprain, huh?" he quipped, leaning in to survey Pomni's ankle for himself. Pomni tensed under his scrutinizing gaze, suspecting there must be some kind of end goal here that she wasn't going to like. "Shouldn't you splint it before wrapping it up?"
Zooble narrowed their eyes suspiciously at Jax. "What would you know about that?"
"Tch. Believe it or not, Zoobie, I'm not completely incompetent. I know my way around a sprain." Jax folded his arms across his chest as he stood back up, leveling Zooble with a glare of his own. "If she needs a splint, that needs to be applied now."
Pomni glanced up at Jax curiously, but he wasn't looking at her, his gaze trained on Zooble instead. What did he care, unless he was setting her up for something? But what could he possibly have in mind…?
Zooble seemed as wary of Jax's intentions as Pomni felt, but they relented just slightly as they replied, "Well…it's a pretty bad sprain, but I think wrapping it will be enough. I've dealt with my fair share of sprains, so I know what I'm doing. But…thanks for the insight, I guess."
Pomni could sense how begrudgingly they'd muttered that last part.
Jax just shrugged, buffing his nails—or rather, the tips of his gloves—on his overalls with a practiced air of indifference that Pomni couldn't quite decipher.
Just then Kinger reemerged from his fort, hurrying back over to the group with a small first aid kit clutched in his hands.
"Sorry for the delay! Could've sworn it was in my medicine cabinet…until I realized I don't have a medicine cabinet. Turns out, it was siting right on top of my beetle atrium!"
Next to Pomni, Ragatha shuddered slightly at the mention of beetles, but said nothing.
"Thanks, Kinger." Zooble reached for the first aid kit.
…Only to be intercepted by Jax, who swiftly stepped between Zooble and Kinger and accepted the kit himself.
"Thanks, Potato Head knockoff, but I can take over from here," he said, brushing Zooble off with a dismissive flick of his wrist.
Zooble's eye twitched. "Okay, what the f*** is going on with you?" they demanded. "Are you trying to be the most irritating a**hole in the circus, because you've already earned that title. Just leave Pomni alone and let me finish up here so she can get to her room and rest."
"Just trust me on this, Zooble—I meant it when I said you're not the only one here who knows a thing or two about sprains." Jax had already knelt down next to Pomni, popping open the lid of the first aid kit with a snap. "Besides, how do you expect to wrap a bandage when one of your hands is literally a crab claw? I'll already be done in the time it takes you to switch out parts, so let me take over."
"That…might be a good point, Zooble, much as I hate to agree with it," Ragatha piped up hesitantly. "I'd offer to do it instead, but I don't think I know the proper way to bandage an ankle."
"See? Even Dollface agrees with me!" Jax gloated.
Ragatha sent a sharp glare his way then. "But I do wonder why you're trying to act so…chivalrous all of a sudden. And anyway, it should be Pomni who gets the final say in if she trusts you or not."
"Well then, let's cut out the debating and ask her then, huh?" Jax finally tipped his head down to face Pomni, and while the usual smirk resided on his face, there was something…different to his expression, something that almost bordered on sincerity, if Pomni were to guess. "What do you think, Poms? You trust me to treat your ankle, or do you want cranky ol' Crab Hands here to do it?"
"Oh, f*** off," Zooble groused in response, to which Jax didn't so much as blink.
Pomni gazed uncertainly up at Jax, her mind a jumbled swirl of clashing thoughts bumping and colliding into each other like a windstorm sweeping up debris. Part of her, a big part, wanted to decline his offer to help. Why was he bothering? What did he gain from this? It could all be an elaborate set-up of some kind, but what could his end goal possibly be? She'd been given every reason to believe that she couldn't trust him, that pursuing a friendship with him wasn't worth it when she was already surrounded by her other friends who didn't treat her like garbage and stab her in the back. She'd given Jax a chance, and he'd blown it in a grand display of self-sabotage and acidic words whittled into bullets that embedded themselves deep within Pomni's heart, words that hurt her more than if he had just betrayed her and shot her point-blank to begin with. By all rights, she should reject him, the way he'd so bitterly rejected her, and spare herself the pain.
…And yet.
And yet another part of her, buried not as deep beneath the hurt as it maybe should have been, wanted to say yes. She hadn't seen him look at her this way, really look at her without venom to one extreme or insurmountable distance in the other, and she felt there had to be a reason for it that extended beyond simply wanting to mess with her. Maybe he wanted an excuse to be close to her, maybe he really did want to help, despite the lack of concern he'd expressed toward her after their fight. Maybe he was finally, finally attempting to build a bridge across the chasm he'd singlehandedly carved out between them. The burning curiosity, the questions that still festered in the back of her mind, compelled her to accept the possible olive branch that he'd held out to her…and hope with all her heart he wouldn't snatch it back with a mocking laugh and a final stinging remark before he burned the bridge down entirely.
Finally, exhaling a wavering breath, Pomni nodded slowly.
"I…I trust you, Jax. I'll let you treat my ankle." Pomni fixed Jax with a pointed look and spoke firmly as she added, "But don't you dare try anything funny or screw around. I just want my ankle wrapped up so I can go to bed and put this whole humiliating thing behind me."
"Pfft, c'mon, how could I do anything with these two as your personal personal bodyguards?" Jax indicated both Zooble and Ragatha with a jerk of his thumb and snickered lightly, before retrieving a roll of stretchy bandage from the first aid kit. "I'll make it nice an' quick, don't worry your beach ball-lookin' head. Oh, but…just a heads-up, this is probably gonna hurt a little."
Pomni nodded again, anxiety swelling in her chest and squeezing her lungs, making her ribs ache.
It's just a sprained ankle…it's just a sprained ankle…there's nothing to get so worked up over. I mean, except for the pain now that it's starting to hurt a lot more…and that weird swollen knob jutting out the side of it…and whatever Jax is up to right now. But other than that, yup, nothing, everything's fine…!
A gentle hand grazed her wrist then, bringing her out of her spiraling thoughts.
"Hey, Pomni…?" Ragatha ventured softly, the sweet caress of her voice soothing Pomni's frayed nerves enough for her to breathe in again. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but…if it helps, you can hold my hand and squeeze it whenever it starts hurting too much. It's not like you can harm me or anything by gripping too tightly. Kinda like using me as a personal stress ball for a bit!"
A small laugh bubbled up in Pomni's throat in spite of herself, and she slipped her hand into the one Ragatha offered her, smiling meekly as she mumbled, "Thank you…I think I might just take you up on that."
Pomni half-expected Jax to make a crack about how the two of them should get a room, or how Ragatha was going to smother her with the mother hen routine…any number of snarky quips he'd thrown her way in the past. But he remained remarkably quiet, his expression uncharacteristically serious as he began to unwind a length of the bandage and got to work on Pomni's ankle.
Pomni instinctively scrunched her eyes shut, turning her head and burying her face against Ragatha's shoulder, not wanting to watch. It was bad enough she could feel it. Jax hadn't been lying when he said it would hurt, and even though she felt lucky to have avoided a fracture that Caine would have to set, the pain was still bad enough to twist her stomach and make her want to cry. She clung hard to Ragatha's hand instead, squeezing so tightly that she would have surely crushed bone of Ragatha had had any—she was surprised she hadn't at least accidentally popped one of the doll's stitches and made her stuffing spill out.
Ugh, and all because of a stupid sprained ankle. She felt childish and silly, reacting the way she did sometimes when it came to any of kind of medical treatments. Even after all this time, she still hadn't outgrown the trauma of a childhood spent being shuttled between doctors trying to unravel whatever was wrong with her…which then bled into adulthood, when her health issues didn't go away, just morphed into new and increasingly frustrating conditions and resulted in even more treatments that scarred her far more mentally than physically. She'd always tried to be self-reliant and independent, quietly taking care of herself when most of the people in her life acted like her issues inconvenienced them to deal with, so having anyone actually offer her comfort and assistance without the pretense that they were putting themselves out for her was something a little foreign to her. But she knew that if anyone in her old life had ever extended a hand for her to hold or a shoulder to lean on when she was going through the worst of it, she would have graciously taken it…and that was why she didn't let herself deny this simple, solid form of consolation now, despite the lingering shame of her past chiding her for acting so weak in front of anyone. Her friends here wouldn't judge her for needing the comfort, so she would just have to un-learn that shame, over time.
Jax could've made a comment about that too, if he'd wanted, but he remained silent as he worked on Pomni's ankle. Pomni noticed that he was actually being very gentle with her, mindful not to jostle her ankle too much as he wrapped the bandage around it in a precise crisscrossing pattern. She wouldn't have taken him for a guy who would care that much or be so knowledgeable about something like bandaging sprained ankles without having to refer to a first aid guide the way she knew she would've had to, and she wondered how he would've mastered such a skill but didn't feel that now was the right time to ask. She felt like she was catching a glimpse of a different side of him, one he hadn't shown her even when he was opening up more during the guns adventure. Her feelings were still mixed, her heart still bruised and cautiously guarding itself against whatever thorny words he might sling at her next, but for now she allowed herself to relax just a little even though she knew this peace wasn't bound to last.
"Alright…done." Pomni startled slightly when Jax finally broke the silence, finishing off by fastening the bandage in place. "That too tight?"
"No…it feels fine," Pomni replied, giving her ankle a small wiggle to test it. It still hurt, obviously, but the compression helped a little without being too restrictive. She cracked a tentative, but appreciative smile as she added quietly, "…Thanks, Jax."
Jax only shrugged, averting his gaze and busying himself with putting his supplies back in the first aid kit. Pomni felt something deflate within her at his refusal to meet her eyes.
Gangle stepped forward then, timidly tapping her ribbon hands together. "I'm sorry you got hurt, Pomni…is there anything else any of us can do for you?"
"Thanks, Gangle, but I think I'll be okay if I just get some rest…oh, but um, can you maybe let Caine know that I have to drop my act whenever he gets back? I don't really know where he went, he said he'd be back when he was done reticulating splines or…something…?" Pomni found it was far better for her sanity not to ruminate too deeply on anything Caine said. "Oh, um, also…sorry if I knocked you over and broke your comedy mask."
Gangle smiled softly, in spite of the tears still clinging to the corners of her eyes. "Aw, it wasn't on purpose…nothing a little glue can't fix."
Gangle was so sweet, so forgiving. If only a certain someone could take a cue from her and stop being so stubborn…
"Are you ready to go back to your room?" Zooble asked then, gently coaxing Pomni back out of her thoughts. "One of us can help you walk there."
"Oh, um…I was thinking that now that it's all wrapped up, I can probably get to my room on my own," Pomni replied. "I don't want to take away any more of anyone's practice time, I'll be fine."
"First of all, I don't think a single one of us gives a crap if we miss out on any time practicing jumping through flaming hoops or juggling chainsaws," Zooble countered. "And second…are you sure that's such a good idea? You've got a pretty bad sprain, you really shouldn't be putting any weight on it."
"I mean, I can limp! It's really no big deal."
"I really don't know about this, Pomni," Ragatha chimed in, frowning uncertainly.
"No, really, I'm sure once I get back on my feet I can just…" Pomni managed to maneuver herself to where she was propped up on one knee, keeping her bad ankle extended in front of her. Slowly, she pushed herself into standing on her good foot…and the second she was upright she lost her balance, tipping over to one side. "Whoa!"
She would've crash-landed on the ground again, had someone not swiftly caught her, breaking her fall.
"Sheesh, Pomni, aiming to sprain both ankles today?" Jax quipped, voice dripping with sarcasm…and yet he still maintained a secure grip on her arms, keeping her upright as she stood on her one good foot. "Listen to someone when they tell ya not to do something for once."
Pomni's face warmed up as embarrassment took root, and she dropped her gaze to the floor. "Okay, I…might have been a little hasty," she mumbled meekly.
"Not to give the point to Jax, but we did tell you so," Zooble pointed out, albeit not unkindly. "It's not putting any of us out to help you, we all want to. You just have to let us. And, y'know, don't rush into things that we tell you are a bad idea."
Pomni just nodded, still keeping her gaze down, her burning cheeks conveying what she wouldn't say out loud. Ignoring her friends' warnings and pushing herself into something she wasn't ready for yet was one thing, but to be rescued by Jax only moments after he'd helped her and then snubbed her again was the icing on this humiliating cake. Not to mention, her ankle was really starting to throb now that she was standing up, even without putting any weight on it…wow, she could really use a reset button for this whole stupid day right about now.
Jax shifted positions then, looping his arm around Pomni's shoulders and making her tense up involuntarily. He then pointed with his free hand at Ragatha.
"You. Dollface. Help me get Pipsqueak to her bed, m'kay?"
"Can you at last quit calling me derogatory nicknames?" Pomni grumbled, but received no reply.
"O-oh, um! Y-yeah, of course," Ragatha stammered, clearly taken aback at Jax calling on her of all people for assistance, but not wanting to resist the request as long as it involved Pomni. She immediately rushed to Pomni's other side, wrapping a supportive arm of her own around the small jester. "Just hold on to us both, Poms. We'll get you to your room in a jiff!"
"I think that's actually pronounced gif," Kinger piped up then, earning puzzled looks from the other circus members, which he didn't seem to notice as he at last retreated back into his pillow fort and closed the makeshift door behind him once more.
"Well…okay." In the wake of that odd distraction, Pomni finally lifted her gaze and glanced at the doll and rabbit flanking her on either side as she wound both her arms around them to stabilize herself. "Thanks, both of you…let's go."
After a couple "feel better soon" parting messages from Zooble and Gangle, Pomni let Ragatha and Jax guide her back to her room. Even when sandwiched on either side by two people propping her up, the simple effort of hobbling back to her room was an exhausting and borderline excruciating task…especially since a good chunk of the trek was the seemingly endless staircase that felt three times as long as usual when she had to be practically carried up them. It didn't help matters much that the journey was made in silence, with Jax seemingly still blowing her off despite having helped her just minutes ago and Ragatha seeming too uncomfortable to speak while in Jax's presence. Pomni couldn't think of a thing to say to diffuse the awkward tension permeating the air between them, so she remained silent and focused her attention on taking one small step at a time on her good foot until they had mercifully reached her room.
Pomni slipped her key out of her pocket—rather, the pocket of hammerspace tucked somewhere on the side of her costume—and unlocked her door, exhaling a quick sigh of relief now that they were here. Ragatha and Jax led her over to her bed, where she sank gratefully onto the mattress, hissing softly under her breath as she stretched her bad leg out in front of her. Pain flared through her ankle, pulsing in time with her digital heartbeat.
Ragatha winced sympathetically. "Still hurting a lot?"
"Yeah…it hurts pretty bad," Pomni confided, positioning a pillow under her ankle and gingerly lowering her foot again, remembering that Zooble had said she needed to elevate it. "Ugh…I don't get it. We're trapped in a digital world, in these weird digital bodies that we can bend and twist and manipulate in a bunch of different ways because by all logic we should be boneless, and we can't even die…and yet we can still experience pain and end up susceptible to sprains? That just seems like a cruel design flaw."
"Blame Caine for that," Jax quipped drily, speaking up for the first time in several minutes. "He'll ignore any laws of digital physics or biology or whatever if he thinks it's immersive enough for his players. Personally, I think he just keeps a lot of stuff in 'cause he thinks it's funny."
And you'd know a lot about that, wouldn't you? Pomni almost retorted, but bit her tongue.
"Well, the upside is that at least our injuries heal a lot faster here than the do in the real world, so at least you'll only be out of commission for a day or two!" Ragatha piped up optimistically, clasping her hands together. "But in the meantime, is there anything you need to help you get a little more comfortable?"
"Well…I do need some ice," Pomni replied, fluffing up the pillows behind her head before leaning back against them. "I think that's it for now though."
"Yeah Rags, why don't ya go fetch her an ice pack?" Jax spoke up, crossing his arms and plastering on his usual smarmy grin. "I'll keep Pom-Pom company 'til you get back."
Pomni shot him a questioning look, detecting that he had a motive for getting her alone and immediately feeling wary of whatever it might be. And judging by the way Ragatha stiffened at the request, she'd caught on to it too.
"I mean, you could go get the ice while I keep Pomni company," she pointed out, placing her hands defiantly on her hips. "Did you happen to think of that?"
"Oh, come on, what do you think is gonna happen if you leave for two minutes?" Jax scoffed. "That I'm gonna tie her to her bed and cover her in black widows?"
"Wouldn't put it past you," Ragatha countered briskly.
"Oh, so I do it to Gangle one time and suddenly you just assume it'll happen every time?"
"I didn't bring it up, you did—!"
"Guys, please," Pomni interrupted, effectively cutting them both off. She closed her eyes for a second as she rubbed her temples, staving off a rapidly mounting headache. "I'm so sorry, but I don't have it in me to referee an argument right now."
"Oh…! Sorry, Pomni!" Ragatha apologized hastily, snapping her gaze away from Jax as she addressed Pomni anxiously. "That was insensitive of us, you don't need the extra stress when you're trying to rest…"
"Oh, yadda yadda yadda." Jax flapped his hand in a mocking gesture of a mouth opening and closing. "You really make an Olympic sport out of over-apologizing."
"Jax." Pomni glared at him, sharp and unyielding. "I said stop."
"Tch…neither of you have senses of humor," Jax griped, but his shoulders slumped as he muttered grudgingly, "But…whatever, I'll behave. Just go and get her some ice, we'll stay here."
Ragatha cast her gaze toward Pomni, silently asking with furrowed brows and a pensive frown what she wanted to do.
Pomni inhaled a slow, deep breath, darting her gaze between both of them as she quickly assessed her options. She wanted Ragatha to stay with her. The thought of being left behind with Jax after everything that had happened between them and not knowing why he was suddenly so keen on talking to her alone after icing her out for so long made a tight knot form in her stomach. But at the same time…this might be her one and only chance to try talking to him, and maybe get some closure so she at least knew where they stood with each other once and for all and could finally stop losing sleep over it. It was a chance she had to take, and hope she wouldn't regret it.
She swallowed hard as she worked up the most convincing smile she could muster and said, "It's…it's fine, Ragatha, we'll be okay here."
"You're sure?" Ragatha asked, and there was a certain weight to the question as her protective nature seeped into her tone. Ordinarily, Pomni might have been a little irritated by the assumption that she couldn't handle Jax on her own…but in light of everything, Pomni could tell Ragatha wasn't trying to treat her like a child who couldn't take care of herself, but as a friend she cared deeply about and that she suspected was going through a hard time, even if she didn't know all the specific details. It warmed Pomni's heart, knowing that whatever happened between her and Jax from this point on, at least she had her other friends to fall back on and support her.
"I'm sure," Pomni confirmed, with a nod she hoped looked more self-assured than she felt.
Ragatha hedged, her gaze searching first Pomni's warm expression and then Jax's impassive one, fidgeting with the skirt of her dress. Finally, she relented, nodding back hesitantly.
"Okay…well! Then I'll be right back with that!" Ragatha pointed dual finger guns at Pomni, straining to conceal the lingering strand of doubt in her voice. "You just sit tight…er, not that I expect you'd do much else in that state. Uh, see you in a minute!"
With that, Ragatha made her exit, leaving Pomni and Jax to their own devices. Pomni tried to ignore the way her pulse thrummed in her throat, the way her hands and legs suddenly tingled with the numbing buzz of anxiety. Still, she adjusted her posture so she was sitting up straighter, and watched Jax expectantly.
Jax flopped onto the end of Pomni's bed then, still grinning as widely as ever.
"Nice digs ya got here," he commented, nodding approvingly, the smirk curving up the corner of his mouth contradicting the artificial sincerity in his tone. "Shocking that Caine didn't go full-on big top on ya, but I suppose the ginormous alphabet blocks are a more tasteful and elegant choice."
"Mh…it's fine, I guess." Pomni shrugged. "The decor isn't exactly what I'd call my style."
"Yeah? So what is your style?" Jax propped his chin in his hand, regarding Pomni with feigned fascination. "I always took you for the type to live in a dingy little apartment and have four bricks with a plank of wood on top in place of a coffee table. Am I right?"
Jax was completely off the mark, but Pomni didn't bother correcting him.
"…How long are you going to keep avoiding the obvious?" she asked bluntly, instead.
Jax froze, his smile turning rigid. He said nothing.
"You've been ignoring me except to crack jokes and make fun of me ever since…you know," Pomni went on, and by the way Jax's ear twitched and his grin faltered, she knew she didn't have to elaborate further. "You acted like nothing happened, good or bad. And then suddenly today I get hurt, and you're insistent on being the one to help me. I just don't understand why when all you've been trying to do lately is prove to me that you don't care."
By this point Jax's smile had vanished, and he'd dropped his gaze to the floor, purposely dodging Pomni's piercing stare. She kept her eyes trained steadily on him anyway, waiting.
"I mean, yeah, maybe I'm a heartless jerk but I'm not a total monster," he finally spoke, his tone oddly quiet and subdued. "You were injured, and someone had to make sure you got fixed up the right way. Not like you could depend on whimpering Crybaby or frittery Dollface or whoever for that. At least I know what I'm doing."
"Don't call them names. They were there taking care of me too." Pomni narrowed her eyes warningly at Jax, but somehow couldn't stifle her curiosity as she then asked, "How did you know exactly how to bandage a sprain anyway? I wouldn't have thought you were the type to have info like that memorized."
Jax shrugged. "Eh…I was in this outdoor club in high school. We'd go on hikes, rock climbing, the works. And no matter how many times we were told to be careful and were specifically trained in outdoor safety, it was inevitable that someone would almost always twist their ankle while we were on a trip. We all mastered the fine art of wrapping sprains by the end of the year, but somehow I was best at it, so it was usually me who ended up tending to everyone else's injuries. Kinda boring, but the hikes were nice, and hey, you gotta love trail mix."
Pomni could only blink as Jax related the story to her. It wasn't much, it was a fairly innocuous story…but it was the most about his past that Jax had ever revealed to her, maybe even to anyone else in the circus for that matter.
"Wow…that's actually pretty cool, Jax," she found herself saying, surprised. "And here I assumed you would've been the kind of kid who just holed up in his room playing video games and avoiding sunlight. Color me impressed."
"What can I say?" A flicker of a smile ghosted across Jax's lips as he shrugged again. "I contain multitudes, Poms. And hey, remember what Caine said about assuming."
"Yeah, yeah…let's not go there again." Pomni rolled her eyes, but the half-smile that had quirked at the corner of her mouth faded as she grew serious and focused again. "So…you took care of me, but immediately after that you were snubbing me again. You wouldn't even look at me…you're still not looking at me. So I still don't see why you would do that for me if you're just going to go back to refusing to talk or even glance my way afterward."
Jax rubbed roughly at the back of his neck, still not lifting his gaze. "Because…I mean, everyone else was there, just hovering around you, acting like I was gonna pick you up and swing you around like a yo-yo if they weren't there to supervise. Not like I haven't given anyone reasons not to trust me, but still. Not exactly the best environment for trying to express anything when everyone just assumes the worst of your actions."
Now Pomni was a little lost. "And what were you trying to express, exactly?" she asked, puzzled.
Jax scratched his neck harder, looking agitated. "That maybe, just maybe, I was trying to…y'know, make it up to you, or something."
Pomni only blinked at Jax again, slowly processing the meaning of his words…and once they clicked into place, she could only gape at him in shock.
“Jax, do you mean that was your way of trying to…apologize to me?” she asked.
“Come on,” Jax grumbled irritably. “Don’t make me actually say it.”
And it would have been easy enough then, for Pomni to let him get away with it. To accept the gesture as his token of remorse, to see that he cared more than he ever dared to let on, that he actually had a heart underneath that bitter exterior and that he wanted to make amends just as much as she did. She could do that without making a fuss over it, the way she suspected he wanted her to. As it was, her mind was reeling enough at the idea that he wanted to apologize in the first place, because that meant he was acknowledging what he did wrong…something she didn’t think she’d ever see from him. A small part of her wanted to just take it, to get it over with and move on after days of stewing over it and obsessing over every single one of her own actions.
But…in the end, giving Jax an easy out wouldn’t do either of them any good. It wouldn’t give Jax the chance to reflect, to actually confront his own mistakes for once rather than downplay them under the guise of not caring, and it wouldn’t ease the pain in Pomni’s own heart either after it had been torn apart by Jax’s razor-sharp words. It would be like slapping a band-aid over a wound that needed stitches—maybe effective in the moment, but it would leave behind a nasty scar that neither of them would ever want to look at. The longer they went without talking about this, the longer the wound would fester. And it seemed like she was going to have to be the one to wield the sutures and mend what had broken between them.
“No.” Pomni folded her arms across her chest, leveling Jax with an unwavering, adamant gaze. “I do want you to say it, Jax. I want to hear you say what it is that you’re apologizing for. All of it. You owe me that much.”
Jax huffed with annoyance. “But you already know what.”
“Yes, I know,” Pomni enunciated meaningfully, her tone softening ever so slightly as she added quietly, “But…I want to make sure that you do, too.”
Jax didn’t say anything for what felt like several long minutes, though in reality it must have only been a few seconds. At first, Pomni thought he was simply going to refuse her request, that he would get up and storm out of the room, not wanting to be put on the spot or forced to verbally own up to the hurt he had caused. She wouldn’t have been surprised, much as she hated to admit it…it wasn’t like they hadn’t already been playing this game, and she was prepared for it to continue this way, leaving both of them isolated and miserable indefinitely. She still had a chance to take it back, to tell Jax it didn’t matter and that she would forgive him, and let them carry on with the twisted masquerade that everything was fine between them. But she stood her ground. Two of them could be stubborn here, after all, and she was the one in the position of deciding to grant him grace or not depending on what he did next.
So she waited. And eventually, Jax cleared his throat.
“Okay…fine. I’m….s-sorry.” The way Jax choked out the word, like he was spitting out something poisoned, gave Pomni the impression that he wasn’t used to saying it. But the sharp edge to his voice dulled somewhat as he continued, “I’m…sorry for turning on you at the last minute, for not just playing along. For…what I said. About, you know, moving on if you abstracted and seeing you only as a plaything. Believe it or not, you’re actually pretty cool, one of the only people worth talking to here. I had a good time with you that day, and I mean that. Once you loosened up and stopped taking everything so seriously, you were a great partner. I was the idiot who screwed things up in the end. You said things that pissed me off too, but I was the one who started it. So…there. And, ya know…I didn’t actually mean it. I don’t think I could forget you, unlike so many of the other dime-a-dozen fools who came and went in the blink of an eye here.”
Pomni fell silent, mulling over Jax's words. It may not have been the most tender and heartfelt apology she had ever heard…but Jax had sounded sincere, and that was all she had wanted. And in the same breath as he had apologized, he'd also confirmed that he liked hanging out with her and that she was worth talking to, which she hadn't expected him to say. That only solidified for her that what they had been through did matter to both of them, that they'd been on their way to becoming friends…but the icy cage protecting Pomni's heart hadn't thawed out entirely yet, remembering the way Jax had slammed that proverbial door shut right in her face and wondering when he might do it again.
"Okay…I really appreciate that, Jax. Thank you." Pomni sighed, slumping back against the pile of pillows behind her. "And…I know I've tried to say this a couple of times now, but maybe you'll actually listen this once. I'm really sorry, too. I'm sorry I implied at all that I thought you were the reason behind people abstracting, I know it's more…complicated than that. But it isn't your fault, I don't think anyone can blame themselves for that happening. And I…I'm also sorry for physically attacking you. I, uh…I've never done anything like that before, but I was just so fed up and wanted to reinforce that maybe we're cartoon characters who don't feel certain things the same way anymore, but we're still real people who can experience pain and anger and sorrow. That you are still real, no matter how much you try to deny it. But I think I took it too far, or didn't go about it the right way…either way, I'm sorry."
She had already said, or at least tried to say, some variation of this apology for days now, the end result always being Jax turning on his heel or flippantly waving a hand in her face before she could get everything out. But now that he was sitting here, seemingly listening to her for once, she felt a little lighter now that she'd finally said her piece. She may not be certain of how genuine Jax had been in his own apology, if he might later take back his words and act like he never said them in the first place, but at least she knew she meant every word she had spoken. She hoped that Jax knew that, too.
Jax lapsed into silence once more, his expression unreadable, gaze still cast downward. At last, he asked, almost cautiously, "So…does this mean we're good now?"
"I don't know. You tell me," Pomni countered. "What's going to happen if I forgive you now, Jax? Are you going to go back to freezing me out and pretending that day never happened? Or are you actually going to go back to being my friend? And don't say that you aren't, I know that's not what you really want. That's not what either of us wants."
Jax rapidly tapped his foot against the floor, something Pomni had noticed before that she assumed was a nervous tic of his. She had plenty of those herself to be able to identify one.
"…Why does it matter so much to you?" Jax finally asked, his tone flat, as devoid of any emotion as he could possibly make it. "Like, why do you care so much if I have friends or not, if we're friends? Everyone else has seen through to the real me by now, so why haven't you?"
"Because I know this isn't the real you, Jax—not the whole you," Pomni insisted, shifting her position slightly and immediately regretting it as a fresh stab of pain radiated through her ankle—she'd been so caught up in their conversation that she'd nearly forgotten about her injury, the whole reason they'd ended up here in the first place. "Believe it or not, you're not a completely insufferable jerk every minute of the day, when you choose not to be. You're fun in a reckless sort of way, and I appreciate your sense of humor…when it's not at the expense of others, that is. I know there's more to you than you're willing to let other people see. I like the glimpses you've let me catch of that side. And I like you, and I care about you. I see you as a friend, even if you won't see me as one. Because everyone here deserves to have a friend here, someone they can turn to and lean on for support…even you."
Jax snorted incredulously. "I think there's a lotta people who would disagree with you on that one, Pom-Pom. A couple of which are wasting away down in the cellar right now."
"Jax, I'm sure that's not true," Pomni asserted firmly…and hoped she was right. "And anyway, this isn't about them right now. This is about us, and our friendship. I'm not about to let you keep locking people out and isolating yourself from any actual meaningful connections with people just because you're afraid something bad will happen if you let yourself get close to someone. Don't you think that's what keeps most of us tethered to our sanity here, even if only for a little while? Don't you think that's what the…the ones that aren't with us anymore would want? To know we're all doing our best to keep each other anchored here, that we're finding reasons within each other to not give up?"
Jax was quiet, scuffing his foot against the ground. And then, at last, he lifted his head and met Pomni's gaze.
"Heh…y'know, you shoulda been a therapist or, like, a motivational speaker instead of an accountant," he remarked, in a weak attempt to deflect.
"Jax. I'm being serious here," Pomni replied, unruffled, and the hint of a teasing smirk that had flickered across Jax's features disappeared. "I can't make you tell me what happened between you and the friends you lost here. I can't force you to be my friend, if you truly don't want to be. I won't push you into anything. But you're never going to overcome this if you don't at least give it a chance. I don't…I don't want a day to come where something happens to you, and I'll always be left wondering what I could've done to help you, if I could've at least made sure you didn't feel like you were all alone. I don't want anyone to feel like that…no one deserves to feel that type of loneliness. And you can tell me I'm not your friend all you want, but…like it or not, I still am, even if it's one-sided. Because I can be as stubborn as you about this."
She gave him a playful, determined grin then, adopting a more lighthearted tone now that the serious part had been said.
Jax didn't reciprocate the smile, though. His dull eyes searched Pomni's expression as though he were scraping for any traces of insincerity, and being unsure how to react when he found none. It dawned on her that it must have been a long, long time now since anyone had granted him such patience and kindness…which he'd brought on himself, and Pomni suspected it had all been on purpose. Why would anyone waste their time on someone they deemed irredeemable, after all, someone who constantly tormented them and berated them? He wanted everyone to hate him, he'd wanted to create a buffer between himself and everyone else so he wouldn't get close to another soul and then have to cope with the unbearable grief of losing yet another person he cared about. He'd built walls around his heart that he'd thought were impenetrable—he just hadn't counted on Pomni being the one to crack his code and let herself in.
There were still a lot of things about Jax that alluded her, and things she couldn't claim to admire about him. She had plenty to say about the way he treated others, that whatever fears compelled him to behave that way were an explanation but not an excuse and that no one owed him forgiveness for it even if he tried to make amends now. She knew firsthand the pain he was capable of inflicting upon others with just a few precisely chosen words, embedding themselves like shards of glass in her heart. She also didn't think that she could fix him, or that it was her place to do so when she still really didn't know him all that well.
But…she could be his friend, if he was willing to let her be. And maybe, just maybe, having someone who actually enjoyed his company (when he wasn't being insufferable and cruel, at least) and wanted to be there for him would be incentive enough for him to change his tune a little and try being less of a jerk to everyone. Maybe, or maybe not. But she was intent on finding out.
After a silence that felt like it had stretched out for an eternity, Jax finally stated, in a tone that sounded strained and thin, "You know you're making a mistake here, right?"
"I don't think I am," Pomni answered with certainty, and meant it. "And besides, it's my mistake to make if I want to, isn't it? I'll just have to see for myself."
Jax didn't respond right away, but he didn't look away from Pomni this time either, his expression blank and his gaze hollow as he stared at her. She remained resolute, resisting the urge to fidget anxiously as she waited for something, anything to break the silence.
Finally, before her last frayed nerve could snap entirely, Jax cracked a smile. Not the sly, mischievous grin he usually donned that always kept one on their toes wondering why he looked so privately amused and if it was at their expense. This one seemed more…real, like he wasn't trying to put on a show for once. She liked seeing it.
"You're a weird kid, you know that?" he quipped, without his usual teasing lilt. "Most people woulda just given up ages ago, but you're just gonna latch on like lint to a sock, aren't ya?"
"First of all, I'm three years older than you, so don't call me kid. And second…if that's what it takes to prove to you that I am your friend and that you can't just shake me off, then yes, I will." Pomni felt herself smile back a little as she extended her hand invitingly toward Jax. "So, is that a deal…partner?"
"Oh…fine." Jax rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion, thrusting his own hand out and grabbing Pomni's in a solid handshake. "If it means that much to you to say you're my friend, I guess I'll just have to play along. Who knows? Maybe I'll even say it back one day, if you're lucky."
Pomni couldn't mask the way her smile brightened, even as she replied coolly, "Guess I'll find out soon enough."
They separated then, and Pomni lay back against her pillows as Jax swung one leg over the other and let himself get comfortable.
"So…" And with that, Jax's coy grin returned, spreading wide across his face. "I told you about my daring outdoor club adventures. Now you tell me what you used to do in high school."
Pomni pursed her lips. "I was in choir for a couple years."
"Choir?!" Jax hooted. "Oh man, I really shouldn't be surprised to find out you were a music geek."
"Watch what you say, Jax—I still have one good foot I can kick you with."
"Oooh, like I'm so scared of the scrawny little jester who used to be a choir geek—oof!"
Jax cut himself off midsentence as he rolled unceremoniously off of edge the bed, courtesy of Pomni's one good leg and the sharp kick she'd been able to deliver so swiftly that Jax hadn't caught himself in time. She snickered with satisfaction as he groaned and writhed dramatically on the floor for a minute, before popping right back up and shooting Pomni a wounded glare.
"Can't say I didn't warn you," she taunted with a giggle.
Jax remained indignant for all of five seconds, before his resolve crumbled as he chuckled, too. "Y'know what, that's fair."
They both laughed, and the tightly-coiled knot of anxiety that had tied itself in Pomni's chest unraveled bit by bit.
A gentle knock sounded at the door then, and Ragatha poked her head back into the room.
"I'm back with the ice!" she chirped brightly, her expression dimming just slightly as she cast a cautious glance in Jax's direction. "Everything, uh…good, in here?"
"Everything's sunshine and lollipops in here, Dollface," Jax replied, his signature grin back in place, as he rose from the floor and casually dusted off his overalls. "Told ya I wasn't gonna torture her or anything."
Ragatha tilted her head subtly at Pomni, silently asking for confirmation.
Pomni nodded, smiling gratefully up at the doll. "Yup, everything's fine. We were just talking," she reported honestly, figuring she could fill Ragatha in on the details she felt it was okay to share later. "Thanks so much for getting the ice for me…thank you both for helping me, I really appreciate it."
"Aw, of course, Pomni…we all care about you, we don't like seeing you hurt." Ragatha kept a wary gaze trained on Jax for a few more seconds, but when he refrained from making any sarcastic comments about her sappy sentiments, her shoulders loosened and her smile relaxed a little. She crossed the room and perched on the edge of Pomni's bed, offering her the ice pack. "Does it still hurt a lot?"
"Sort of…it's better now that I'm resting, but it still aches pretty bad. I'll live, though." Pomni carefully placed the ice pack atop her bandaged ankle, flinching slightly at the initial bite of cold, then exhaling a small sigh of relief as the numbing chill gradually alleviated the pain. She reclined against her pillows again, suddenly feeling far more tired than she had realized. "Ugh, not gonna be fun trying to get around like this for the next day or so…at least I'm getting a small vacation from the adventures, right?"
Jax raised an eyebrow at her. "Bold of you to assume Caine's gonna give you a day off from one of his oh-so-amazing adventures over a measly little sprained ankle."
"Jax, don't tease her." Ragatha swatted at him, though without much aggression. "Of course Caine isn't going to make her participate in any adventures when her ankle is hurt. Actually, Gangle told me that when he heard what had happened, he decided to postpone the performance day so Pomni could be a part of it once she recovers."
"Is that supposed to be good news or bad news?" Pomni asked drily, not so enthusiastic at the prospect of being forced to get on that stupid unicycle yet again.
"Depends on how you want to look at it," Ragatha chuckled lightly, though her expression reflected sympathy for the jester. "At any rate, Caine called today's performance off completely, so we all got an unexpected free day out of it."
"…Jax, if you say I should get myself injured more often just so we get more days off, I will personally beat you with my pillow," Pomni deadpanned the second she saw Jax open his big mouth, and smirked with amusement when he closed it again.
"Aw, shoot. You're not much of a team player, are ya?" Jax crossed his arms and faked a pout, his mouth twitching as he fought to conceal a grin.
"Nope," Pomni replied, popping the p to enunciate the point. She glanced between both Jax and Ragatha then. "So…since everyone has the day off today and I'm pretty much bedridden for now, do you want to do something together? Like, all three of us."
"Oh! Um…" Ragatha was clearly surprised by the invitation, twisting her hands in her lap. "Like, a game or a movie?"
"Oh, wait, I've got this!" Jax dropped into the chair in the corner of Pomni's room across from her bed, flicking his eager gaze between both women. "How 'bout we go around the room and each tell about the dumbest injury we ever got, and then we have to vote on which one was the worst?"
"Jax…" Ragatha replied uncertainly, obviously suspecting this was some sort of mean-spirited ploy on the rabbit's part.
Pomni reached over and gently rested a hand on Ragatha's hand, and the doll's twitchy fingers stilled as she peered up at her. Pomni met her gaze with a reassuring smile and an encouraging nod, silently promising her that it was fine. Ragatha hesitated, but she smiled thinly back and gave a small nod in return.
"I'll start…but I'm excluding this whole thing because that would be too easy," Pomni volunteered, to be a good sport, knowing full well it was her own clumsy injury that had sparked the topic of conversation in the first place. "But anyway…one time I was exploring this abandoned warehouse, and I had to scale this rusty old metal fence to get inside. I ended up accidentally slicing my leg open on this jagged bit of wire that I didn't notice on my way out. I had to get stitches and a tetanus shot, and I couldn't even tell the truth about what happened! I don't even remember what story I cooked up for them, but they must've believed me, because I never got arrested for trespassing. It left this long, crooked scar from just under my knee to just above my ankle. Somehow I recall that vividly but I can't remember my own face."
"Not bad, not bad." Jax nodded approvingly. "But I think I can top that. One time at the town pool I did a cannonball off the diving board…but I completely misjudged the distance and ended up smacking my head on the diving board when I landed. I'm talkin' an ear-splitting, resounding crack that everyone at the pool heard. The lifeguard had to dive in and save me 'cause I knocked myself unconscious and almost drowned. Long story short, I gave myself a concussion and got a gnarly gash across my eyebrow, and probably scarred everyone who was there for life with the sight of my dumb teenage self nearly bleeding out in the pool. Good times, huh?"
Ragatha paled, looking stricken. "Oh god, those both sounded awful," she remarked weakly, wrapping her arms around herself. "I don't think I have anything to share that compares to either of those…"
"C'mon, there's gotta be something," Jax coaxed. "You grew up on a farm, didn't you? Ever get almost pecked to death by a chicken or chased by a cow, somethin' funny like that?"
"Well…" Ragatha hedged, looking thoughtful. "There was the time I was horseback riding when I was thirteen and tried to make a jump but missed it, and I got thrown off my horse's back and dislocated my shoulder. Does that count, even without the gruesome scars?"
"Are you kidding? That definitely counts! That might even be a contendor for first place here."
"Oh, um, thanks…!" Ragatha stammered, then paused. "Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing…?"
"Whatever ya want it to be." Jax cut a teasing glance in Pomni's direction, his grin widening. "Although…at least we have the advantage of saying we were just dumb kids with our accidents, Dollface. Jingles over here was a full-grown adult climbing fences and spelunking through abandoned buildings when she totally knows better, so she was kinda asking for it, wasn't she…?"
"Hm, good point, Jax." Pomni tapped her chin in faux contemplation, suppressing a smile. "Hey, why don't you come over here and say that again within kicking range?"
Jax's mature response of choice was to stick his tongue out at Pomni.
That was how the three of them spent the next hour together, simply chatting and exchanging stories. Ragatha seemed a little reserved at first, but when it was clear that Jax was behaving for once, she relaxed a little and became more willing to share. There wasn't any bitterness or tension, there wasn't any arguing, just occasional bursts of playful bickering—it seemed almost like Ragatha and Jax had formed a truce of some kind, at least for now. Pomni wondered if it stemmed out of some sort of mutual concern over her, if somehow her accident had bridged a gap between them. She knew better than to believe it would last past today, but for now, she gladly embraced the peace in the absence of their perpetual fighting. And who knew? Maybe in time she could help patch things up between the rabbit and the doll for good. She liked both of them, and while she knew she could be friends with both of them independently, it would be nice for everyone if they could all just get along.
At one point, while Jax and Ragatha were recounting a story to each other about something that had happened long before Pomni had ever joined the circus, Pomni let herself rest her head on her pillow and close her eyes for a few seconds, comforted by the sound of her friends' voices. Today had been…interesting, to say the least. She still wasn't happy that she had embarrassed herself in front of everyone and sprained her ankle in the process, and she wasn't looking forward to the next few days of pain she was in for. But there was a silver lining to the incident—it had brought her unexpectedly closer to Jax, revealing a side of himself to her that she'd never witnessed before and would like to see emerge again, and they had finally moved on past their big fight. She'd even received a sincere apology from Jax, something she would have thought him completely incapable of back when she was new here and had initially dismissed him as nothing more than a mean jerk who wasn't worth her time. She felt guilty for her previous assessment of him…even though she'd been given plenty of reason to believe it, time and time again.
Pomni knew that things weren't perfect between her and Jax, nor did she think they would ever be—in the sense that no relationship was without its rocky points. He still had a lot to confront within himself and a lot to change about the way he treated others before she could feel completely at ease with him, and that wasn't something that could all be achieved overnight. It could only happen if he would let it happen. But with time, it was possible, and Pomni would do her best to help him every step of the way.
That was what friends did for each other, after all. And Pomni was determined to prove to Jax that she was his friend now, whether he liked it or not.
(But she had a feeling he did).