Work Text:
The first lesson is the hardest. She doesn't understand in her second and third lives. The Gods have sent her back but they do not explain. Different decisions, different moves, and surely she will get a different outcome. It's in her fourth life, staring down at her grandson's corpse, that it dawns on her.
For each death of Rhaenyra's children, Alicent loses a child or grandchild.
For the death of Lucerys there comes the death of Jaehaerys. Maelor lost in a riot is followed by Joffrey lost the same way. Alicent herself prayed for the deaths of those boys. Did she bring about Maelor's death too? The death of Jacaerys costs her sweet Heleana. The death of Rhaenyra always, always brings the death of Aegon. But once the war is begun there is no other choice.
For the death of Daemon the price is Aemond. Her favourite child and her most hated enemy. Their fates are as entwined as Rhaenyra and Aegon. It is the tenth time around that Alicent realises victory of any kind will always demand Aemond's life, for Daemon cannot be appeased.
In the end it is always the same. In a dance with dragons survival is a numbers game and Rhaenyra is prolific. Alicent tries to bear more children in her fifth, sixth, and seventh life but all other pregnancies end in blood. Marrying Aemond results in nothing, his line perhaps destined to end. Separating Heleana from Aegon is no better. Aegon does his duty with more enthusiasm to the same results, Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, Maelor. Her daughter, however, is a dragonriding princess and Alicent hadn't realised that only a dragonriding prince would dare force her to do her duty. She hadn't realised Heleana must be forced. She tries to win over House Velayron to their cause once or twice but it never amounts to anything. Her marriage earns her the Sea Snake's ire and always results in Laena wedding Daemon. Occasionally Rhaenyra chooses Harwin Strong before she can be unwillingly matched with Laenor Velayron, but it only means her eldest brats are trueborn. Laenor never manages to have trueborn children. So the numbers never change. Even if Alicent sacrifices all her pieces, throwing even herself to the dragons, there will still be two black left. A war won by default.
In her eleventh life Alicent makes a different choice. Aemma Arryn's final pregnancy gave the outward appearance of strength. Her Father would be called many things by maesters but he was no callous monster, plotting the downfall of a kind and beloved Queen in the shadows. Merely an opportunist. So when Aemma Arryn is three moons pregnant and the heir to House Tully comes to her father with stars in his eyes asking for her hand, Otto Hightower agrees. It is a good match, above her station. When Aemma Arryn dies she is already Alicent Tully and comforts Rhaenyra, still young enough it doesn't burn Alicent's pride to be kind. She even helps her dress to be named Heir to the Throne. Rhaenyra is her enemy, yes, but Daemon is the greater. It is Laena Velayron who is betrothed to the King, only thirteen. The wedding takes place three years later, the advice of her Father and the maesters urging the King avoid another young bride. The new Queen takes a year to fall pregnant and Alicent, already with two sons in this life, toasts her own empty victory. Once again she has proven herself a better choice than Laena Velayron. The girl gives birth to twins. Both girls with the same names as ever. Alicent hears from her Father the labour was difficult and the Queen will need to abstain from the childbed for some time. At his call she and her husband return to Kings Landing and she is welcomed back by Princess Rhaenyra, who perhaps this time will have no brother at all. Her Father is proven right to recall her when in 111AC Laena Velayron chooses to die in dragonfire rather than be cut open for a son. Alicent can hardly blame her and toasts her old rival into the grave. Perhaps one day they shall both join Aemma Arryn in sending Viserys to the Seven Hells. After the death of a second wife the King goes into isolation on Dragonstone, leaving fourteen year old Rhaenyra and the Small Council to keep the kingdom afloat. Embarrassingly negligent as usual. Talks regarding Rhaenyra's marriage begin quickly, though the Sea Snake does his best to undermine them. Laenor Velayron is two years married, a second royal match was too much for even the Sea Snake to bet on, and Corlys Velayron must now hope his twin granddaughters can get him the crown. In the end it is a Martell Prince and Alicent laughs herself sick when every child is born silver haired and purple eyed. The blood of House Strong was strong indeed. Dorne will join the realm only when Rhaenyra's child takes the throne until then the two nations will remain separate, but allied. And so, when Viserys finally returns to court, he heeds his Small Council and does not remarry. Five years before Viserys's death Alicent and her husband are recalled to Riverrun and the timing suits her just fine. Corlys Velayron's arrogance will not allow Rhaenyra to take the throne peaceably, she knows that. When war comes she argues for supporting Rhaenyra because Alicent Hightower is not a hypocrite. The eldest daughter inherits over the younger. That is the tradition and that is the law. So it was for Aegon, so it is for Rhaenyra. Baela Targaryen has wed Borros Baratheon, who all say killed his wife to gain the honour. But Otto Hightower has picked Rhaenyra and given her Dorne, the Reach, and the Westerlands on a platter. The North are sworn to Rhaenyra so it is for Rhaenyra they fight. The Vale follow Arryn blood always. It is Alicent herself that hands her old enemy the Riverlands, in exchange for a Princess for her first-born son. Daemon Targaryen does not even return for the war, busy burning far-off Essossi cities that Alicent has scarely heard of, Mantarys and Elyria and other places on the cursed Valyrian peninsula. Alicent thinks it is the perfect place for him. Rhaenyra wins with ease. It costs her only two children. One for Rhaenys and one for Baela. Little Rhaena survives once again, thanks to the betrayal of Vaemond Velayron and her marriage to his elder son. House Tully and House Hightower are raised high by her old enemy, Alicent's daughters and granddaughters adorn the court and her sons sit the Small Council. She dies a friend of the Queen, safe in Riverrun and satisfied that she has perhaps outrun her curse. She wishes to see her first children again, the ones she loved the most fiercely. She will readily admit to herself her Tully children, who she has known far longer than she ever had a chance to know her Princes and Princess, have always felt like a dream.
She wakes up, seventeen again in the Red Keep. Her life as Alicent Tully nothing more than a rest, a breath of fresh air before being pulled back under the current. She goes to war again and again. She makes peace with Rhaenyra thrice. The first two times her own family betray the peace and it all ends in dragonfire. The third time it is Daemon. So there can be no peace and there can be no victory and Alicent begins to consider whether she should simply marry a different man each life, perhaps flee to Essos once or twice. She is pregnant with Heleana once again when she decides that yes, in her next life she will steal Rhaenyra's jewellery and her own and flee as far as gold will take her. It is in this life that Daemon shows too much favour to little Laena Velayron for Rhaenyra's taste at a feast. Alicent worries the wound in the girl's pride for weeks and months until the Princess declares she will marry her brother, not some old uncle or unworthy lord. In this life Aegon becomes the prize. But her stepdaughter is ten years Aegon's senior and Viserys determined to see his line with Aemma live on. Her stepdaughter weds Laenor Velayron, dodging marriage till her twentieth nameday. Only four years later the marriage is dissolved in scandal when Laenor Velayron flees to Essos with his male lover and the High Septon himself is called to court to confirm the Princess of Dragonstone remains a maiden. Corlys screams and shouts but this time House Velayron have wronged House Targaryen. The marriage is dissolved and Laenor exiled, as if he'd ever be foolish enough to return. With Laena Velayron already dead it is a Targaryen, little Baela, that now stands as heir to Driftmark.
Aegon is fifteen when the pair disappear to Dragonstone amongst talks for Rhaenyra's next husband. The smallfolk love it and the city is flooded with songs of the Old King and Good Queen, no doubt organised by her Father. Her husband seems pleased enough, her Father is sickenly smug and the realm breathes a sigh of relief. When Viserys dies the two are crowned together, Rhaenys for Rhaenyra and Alicent herself for Aegon. Some of Viserys's useless sycophants are shuffled out, but the Small Council changes little.
Aegon is eager for Rhaenyra as he never was for Heleana but then her eldest son did always prefer whores. Rhaenyra has a child each year. Son after son after son. Viserys is two years dead when they finally get a daughter. Red hair and purple eyes. Rhaenyra always claimed she would call a daughter Visenya, but as Aegon hands her his daughter the name he gives is Alicent.
When she dies, twenty-five years after her namesake's birth, Alicent Hightower finally finds rest.