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When Enjin had begrudgingly agreed to take in Fu, letting him into the organization and be a cleaner, he had underestimated just how mentally spineless the boy was.
He could not function without a second person, and if a second person was in his vicinity then he could not survive without that person telling him what to do in extreme detail through each and every step.
It was worse when it came to him or Gris, figures that Fu seemed to have gotten a bit more attached to. Going as far as going to become their "official minions".
It was becoming an annoyance, especially to Riyo and Rudo. One whom didn't want a duckling following her around and the other not understanding Fu's requirements of needing a decision-maker.
Enjin understood their grievances of course, although he wasn't sure what to do about it. Albeit the doormat behavior, the masked boy was stubborn. He had refused to think for himself, insisting he needed orders to follow. It was clear this was a desperation rooted from his past but he was not ready to talk about it. Not yet.
The main issue was that Fu was strong. Physically he may be even be the strongest amongst the cleaners, almost effortlessly.
Yet this was going under the drain due to his overly easy behavior. Like a dog wanting to play with an owner. One who would stand by the door holding a dead bird it's mouth.
He needed to do something about Fu.
Enjin sat on a bench, legs spread out and head tipped back. He watched the clouds pass by, jumping from idea to idea.
He needed someone who can put some sense into Fu. Someone with enough courage and brain, a mouth sharper than blades and a heart softer than feathers.
Stopping at a blank Enjin straightened his head back with a sigh. Who looked around he saw a flash of blue and off white that was familiar.
Oh yes.
Enjin knew the perfect person for this after all.
-
Zanka tried to keep his calm when Enjin approached him, waving his arms with an easygoing grin.
"Zanka! Just the guy I was looking for."
Zanka tried really hard to keep his calm.
"Y-You need something?" He kept his voice level, respectful, and not at all nervous. He wiped his plams on his pants and contemplated wiping away the sweat on his forehead.
Before he could decided Enjin had thrown an arm over his shoulder. Almost like they were buddies...oh God, Zanka was going to have to journal about every single second of this moment tonight.
"Yes actually!" Enjin was speaking again. Zanka paid utmost attention to every word.
"So we've got a new guy in the group now, a bit iffy, still in a will-he-won't-he phase."
"I heard, Fu right?"
Zanka thought back on the hunched over boy, he doesnt remember his face very well. Only that by the time he had come Riyo had gotten insanely injured and two members had joined the group. Amo and a raider.
"Fu! Yes!" Enjin patted his back 4 times exactly. Zanka counted. "And while he's in his initiation phase someone's gotta keep an eye on him. An' see he's keen on being in the Akuta, and I'm..well I'm a busy guy. Got paperwork an' stuff. So thinking about it, I thought you'd be the best man for the job!"
Zanka does not pause to think about all the inconsistencies in Enjin's story, such as; Tomme took care of all their paperwork usually, or that Enjin was currently on a break, or that Zanka was already training Rudo. He didn't have time to think of any of the sort, already over the moon that Enjin was trusting him to such an extent.
"I'll do my best!" He says in a firm voice and is rewarded with 3 more pats on the back.
-
Zanka would never question Enjin's decisions. Such a confident and assured man would know what he was doing when he assigned Zanka to keep an eye on Fu.
He only wishes that Enjin had mentioned that Fu was the kind of person that Zanka absolutely despised.
Meek, cautious to a fault, and blindly reverent. Fu was a complete and utter idiot. Zanka doubted he'd even have to keep an eye on the boy. He could probably just tell Fu to stay in one place and the fool would probably do it until he passed out.
But when Zanka followed orders he followed them well. Especially Enjin's, and so he was going to carry this one out as perfectly as he did the rest.
"Even if you keep looking at me every second I'm not telling you what to do." He stared straight ahead as he spoke, watching the way Fu jumped three feet far from where he was sitting.
Fu shuffled back a bit closer, before muttering back.
"N-no problem sir-"
"It's Zanka."
"Zanka sir-"
"Just. Zanka."
The masked boy fidgeted around, deeply uncomfortable by the whole thing. Zanka had half a mind to tell the boy to leave if he wanted to but he doubted that Fu would unless it was worded like an order.
So, they sat on the bench in silence. For an hour.
Within the hour though, Fu managed to make commendable progress at calming down. He's shaking had decreased to barely noticeable and his side eyeing had stopped completely. After a while he too was staring ahead, dazed as he watched the leaves on tree rustle. His feet hit the ground a little as he kicked back and forth but neither of them noticed it.
It felt nice, Zanka admitted to himself. He let himself watch Fu a bit more blatantly.
This was his first proper look at him. Fu was, not as haggard as he had thought. Perhaps it's the constant fear on his face that made him look like it, but right now, with the more serene expression Fu looked just like a normal person. Perhaps even on the good looking side of people.
Zanka's eyes raked over the boy's face when he suddenly turned around, making direct eye contact with Zanka. Bright green eyes pierced into his own blue ones and Zanka nearly jumped out of his own skin with a yelp.
He didn't though, thank heavens for his countless lessons on keeping his calm during extenuating situations.
Fu, who had never taken such lessons, jumped off the bench in a panic however. To Zanka's shock he bowed full ninety degrees and yelled loud enough for the Sphere to hear.
"I apologize for daydreaming!"
"What the fuck?"
The words tumble out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He could see his family frowning at his vulgar words and he pointed that same frown towards the boy in front of him. Another thing to add on to the reasons he disliked the boy, he caused Zanka to become more vulgar.
Fu had taken a step back in fear at Zanka's expression. Which should be flattering but the murky feeling at the back of his throat said otherwise.
"I could care less about what you do."
Fu looks devastated to hear him. It's almost funny if not for how serious he looked. He nearly takes a step forward as he flails his arms, stammering and stuttering over his words.
"B-b-but why sir!? I..I can fo-follow any order perfectly well!"
"Yeah but I don't need you to."
Zanka watches as the boy squirms in his spot, fingers digging into his cheeks. His own fingers twitch with an urge to pull Fu's hands away. Instead he speaks up again.
"Why do you need someone to order you around?"
The questions seems to strike a nerve for the other. He freezes completely in spot, shoulders tensing up even further. He stares directly at the ground but his eyes wide and shaking.
"Is...that an order?"
Zanka watches the boy's zoomed out eyes and finally couldn't help but respond.
"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."
He is well aware that his reply does nothing to ease Fu. If anything it probably conflicted him further seeing the way his breathing had increased rapidly.
Zanka stands up from the bench, loudly with a stomp which is enough to distract Fu and look up at him with confusion.
"I'm calling it a day now. You should too."
He avoids the fact that he worded it like a command. Even as Fu salutes to him and follows him behind all the way until they get to the dorm before running off to his own room, he does not think about it.
Exhaustion settles in his shoulders as he realizes that he will be having to keep an eye on the boy for a while.
-
"So why do you keep hanging out with him?"
Riyo's voice rings in his ears, high pitched as a shriek. Zanka tries to turn deaf to it as he takes another bite of his food. Across from him Rudo is hoarding himself on pieces of candy yet again, pretending to not be listening in on their conversation.
"Hey I'm speaking to you!" He feels a tug on his ear and swipes his arm over. Riyo dodges it with ease, a wide grin on her face for succeeding in annoying him.
Zanka hated his teammates.
"What?"
"The raider, you're always with him."
"Not always," Zanka was quick to snipe back. It was true after all. He's only been with Fu for only two days. He's learned absolutely nothing save for the fact that Fu was a fidgety little bore. "And he's not a raider anymore."
He looks up at where the boy is sitting, alone at a table with Amo who is talking his ears off. Zanka would've bit his own tongue to get out of the conversation but Fu is nodding along with a smile on his face. The expression irritates him a little. He can't tell if it's a genuine one or not.
"I asked what you're doing with him, not to make goo-goo eyes at him."
"I'm not..I'm not making g- those eyes at him, what the hell Riyo!?" He attempts another swipe with his chopsticks and misses again.
From the corner of his eye he can see Rudo watching them with curious eyes, a question on the tip of his tongue. Zanka hurries to speak up first.
"I'm simply keeping an eye on him because Enjin asked me."
Riyo shares a look with nobody in particular. Zanka chooses not to question what it meant. He doesn't have a chance to do so when a loud smack is heard.
Rudo is standing up now, face twisted into fury and upset.
"You're teaching him too!?" His voice is a mix of a whine and anger. It's a little funny to Zanka, very much to Riyo.
"No? He's not a full cleaner yet. We can't even teach him anything."
Rudo narrows his eyes at him before turning to Riyo and yelling at her to shut up. Zanka listens to the one sided banter as his eyes glide over to the boy across the room again.
He's laughing now over something Amo had said. His neck bent over to hide most of his face as he giggled into his hand. Another pang of irritation passes through his chest. It sure looked genuine.
He goes back to his food, violently shoving it into his mouth. As he does so he fails to see the amused look Riyo gives him, speaking up again with a scheming mind.
"So, you'll be coming to training right?"
"I'll have to bring Fu with me."
"Oh for gods- fine. Bring him."
She walks off, leaving Rudo to be torn between following her and sitting with Zanka. He runs off as well once Zanka tries to point out that candy wasn't an actual meal.
Zanka spends the rest of his lunch eyeing a laughing duo, looking lonelier than usual. He hears Amo giggle again, probably followed by Fu's silent one and finds himself standing up. He walks over within seconds and is towering over them. Fu looks up with a bit of fear, Amo looks at him unimpressed.
"I'm bored of waiting for you, let's go."
He realizes he's worded it too much like an order when Fu scrambles to get up, grabbing his tray and rushing off with a meek "yes sir!"
He ignores the narrowed squint Amo gives him and walks out of the cafeteria.
"Where are we going?"
"Training."
"Ah-ah but, I'm not..."
"Riyo and Rudo will be training," Zanka cuts in, "I'm Rudo's trainer."
"Oh...that's really cool."
He hears a hint of envy in Fu's mumbling and feels a familiar, wretched surge of pride. He remembers the praise he had received once, a long time ago, and swallows it back down forcibly.
"It's just training."
"I...I've never been a Trainer before."
Zanka glances at the boy walking a little behind him, in the same bad posture as always.
"But you've been trained." He couldn't help but ask. He's even more surprised when Fu nods, but receives no further information. He chooses to not pry, knowing full well that the boy would consider it a duty rather than a choice.
They walk through the hallway in silence until they reach the training grounds.
Rudo and Riyo are already present, discussing- or rather arguing about something.
Rudo notices Zanka first and begins to yell even louder.
Zanka tells Fu to sit down on a nearby bench and walks over to them, not to mediate but to stop them.
The training is the same as ever. Rudo with his boundless potential keeps improving day by day. Maybe even by the hour. All Zanka has to do is give him tips on utilizing his endless arsenal of weapons. Rudo takes every piece of advice he gives with utmost seriousness, asking him multiple questions that Zanka does his best to answer. Zanka still doesn't fully understand why Enjin had asked someone as ordinary as him to train the embodiment of a "chosen one" that was Rudo, but when he sees Rudo successfully pulling off a move and turning to him for praise or advice, he can't help but the fond pride that gleams inside him.
He's so invested in his thoughts and training that he completely misses a certain someone making their way over to Fu.
He notices far too late. The sound of a panicked yelp makes him turn around. He sees Riyo with her arm slung around Fu's shoulder, she's dragging him towards the ground.
"What are you doing?" Zanka asks with a glare. It has no effect on his desired target, scaring Fu instead.
Riyo merely grins at him, the same mischievous flash of teeth as she speaks.
"He agreed to go a round with me!"
Zanka frowns harder. He knows that Riyo knew that the boy would agree to just about anything. He feels the pang of irritation for the third time in the same afternoon.
"Are you sure about this Fu?" He turns to Fu instead. He knows Riyo's fighting better than most, brutally sharp and concise, just like the pair of scissors she carried around.
Fu does not get a chance to reply as Riyo does so for him.
"You didn't see him dude, but this guy's a total beast!" Riyo hits Fu's back, a loud thump that makes even Rudo flinch. "He's Hella strong!"
Zanka looks over at Rudo who also shrugs. He looks back at Fu who has that same nervousness he always did and sighs deeply.
"Fine, but I'll be watching over the two of you."
"Yeah yeah whatever. Come on Fu!"
"Okay..but please attack me first."
Riyo cackles and throws her scissors in the air, letting it transform before she grabs it again.
Fu however does not take out an object. He's hunched over even more than before, muttering to himself again. Zanka wonders what his vital instrument was when there's a flash of light surrounding Fu. His eyes widens at the implications and before his brain could process it, Riyo is flying across the grounds towards the boy.
Zanka watches in shock as Fu throws punch after punch, each of them cracking the ground when it landed. He's different now. Sharper, with more angles and limbs that were actually visible. They were as sharp as his teeth with almost pupil-less eyes.
It was as if he was watching a different person.
The fight isn't stretched out, but it goes nowhere. Riyo dodges each attack from Fu with ease and Fu blocks each hit from Riyo as though his body was indestructible. It is enlightening to watch and one glance from Rudo let's Zanka know that the boy is immersed.
He gulps painfully, a dreadful realization settling in him that Fu could beat him too. Just like everyone else in the organization.
They go back and forth for god knows how long until Enjin approaches them, his presence welcomed by everyone. The sparring duo finally stops, Riyo waving at them and Fu immediately dropping to his knees in a kowtow. Zanka thinks it's a pathetic sight. He notices that Enjin is grimacing as well.
To his surprise (though he really shouldn't be at this point) he only takes away Rudo. Something about letting the boss meet him.
Fu is picking himself up from the ground, nervously mumbling again to himself.
"Told ya he's strong."
He doesn't bother looking at Riyo who was now next to him, staring in the same direction as he was. She's not deterred by his lack of a response, continuing to speak.
"You think it's strange too right? Someone like him being the way he is."
Zanka doesn't reply but he agrees on the inside. With a strength like that Fu could take down a whole town all by himself. It was no wonder that the organization was keeping him around even though they didn't fully trust him. Who knows what that strength and submissive demeanor could do in the wrong hands?
"All that power and he still looks at you and Enjin as though y'all are actually cool."
That snaps him out of his thoughts, his neck turning towards the chuckling girl so fast that he feels a twinge in his muscles.
"What are you talking about now?"
Riyo shrugs as though she was keeping a secret. "You should've seen him watching you train Rudo. Like you were hanging the stars in the sky or something."
There's a flutter which is very much not pride in his chest. He isn't sure what it is, but it's warm and trying to wedge itself tightly in his ribs. He looks back at Fu who is still standing where he was, glancing over at where Riyo and him were standing. They make eye contact for a second and Fu quickly looks down, looking even more frazzled at being caught.
"It doesn't compare to the way you look at him though-"
He manages to hit Riyo in the shin with his Lovely Assistaff before walking off, Fu following behind.
-
The next few days he commits to learning more about the boy. He is surprisingly free except for the few quick missions he goes on to defeat the Trashbeasts.
Fu had grown used to having Zanka around as well, not as hypervigilant as before. He still tries to get Zanka to command him, and he still mumbles indecipherable nonsense, but overall they had fallen into a comfortable dynamic.
Which is why Zanka had finally asked him about his vital instrument.
He doesn't expect the boy to bring out a doll from hoodie's pocket. It's as big as his palm is, colorful but washed away by time. It has sharp teeth and pupil-less eyes...just like Fu did back then.
Zanka looks back at Fu who takes it as his cue to start talking.
"This is my friend Hii, uh I...he's...we made a pact-"
"You made a pact with your doll?"
"Yeah. When I need to um, as Hii puts it 'bust something up' without specific orders my body becomes his body."
Zanka doesn't get it. He doesn't even try to, considering the strange ways people's vital instruments worked. He was curious about Hii's origins, but considering the few times he's seen Fu freeze up he keeps himself from asking again.
"Also..." He hears Fu speak up, for once without being asked to. "Hii thinks you're a little stuck up."
"Excuse me!?"
Fu let's out a small yelp before mumbling to himself at a rapid pace. Due to their close proximity Zanka manages to catch a few words in between, those including; "told you" "bad idea" "Don't"
"You're talking to your doll?" He can't help but ask, his question delicately bordering on judgement and curiosity.
Fu nods at him. "Yeah I...I can hear him, because of the pact probably."
"How old are you again?"
He prepares himself to pair Fu off with Rudo when he hears the answer that has him freezing.
"Seventeen."
"You're seventeen!?"
He is faced with another punch of surprise. He had never imagined the two of them being the same age. Zanka would never think he'd be the same age as someone who still spoke to dolls.
Fu nods again and asks after a moment. "You are?"
"I'm also seventeen."
He feels irritated when Fu pulls back a little with surprise. He doesn't understand why the boy would be surprised. Did he not look seventeen? Did he look younger?
His irritation evolves into offense when the boy admits he expected Zanka to be older.
"No but it's...you're so mature!" Fu stumbles over his words, desperate to console a huffing Zanka. He knows it's petty but watching the boy flail around was a little funny. "And you're so sure of everything and confident! Just...just like Enjin so-"
His chest puffs out with pride hearing Fu say so. "You think so?"
"Yeah! And Enjin is the coolest person I know!"
His opinion of Fu increases drastically. Anyone with good judgement of character and taste always had a high standing in his book. As they dissolve into a passionate discussion regarding Enjin Zanka thinks that it is the most fun he's had in a while talking to someone.
-
More and more people are starting to notice him and Fu.
What gets to him more is that Zanka isn't as bothered about it than he thought he would be.
He knew they'd all be coming to him with the questions instead of Fu. Most of them were still wary around the boy, especially compared to Zanka who had been around for years. He's had multiple people approach him wanting confirmation that Fu isn't as suspicious as he acts ("No he's just fidgety"), or asking why they've been together so much ("I've been asked to keep an eye on him"), and whether he really follows orders ("do not order him around").
He doesn't expect the questions regarding their closeness though.
"I knew I was doing something right by pairing the two of you."
Zanka looks up from his food to see Enjin smirking at him. His usual smug one.
"Yes?"
"The little guy, Fu. Yeah him." Is all Enjin says, chin resting on his hand. Zanka takes another bite of his food, staying as polite as he could through his confusion.
"I have been keeping an eye on him just like you asked."
"And? Learned something interesting?"
'A lot of things actually', Zanka thinks to himself and wonders where he should start. Enjin laughs at him like he could read Zanka's thoughts and waves a hand lazily. He leans back in his chair before continuing.
"No need to tell me the details, but I get it."
"You...do?"
"Yeah, I mean I don't exactly see where you're coming from but according to most around here, Fu's cute."
Zanka slowly frowned, still unable to understand where their talk was heading. The idea of people talking about Fu left a discomfort hedging up his bones.
"Fu is seventeen-"
It's almost comical how the man sits up straight, nearly reaching out to grab Zanka and quiet him down. Zanka has seen Enjin lose composure at very rare times, this one being one of them. "Not for me! I just said that it was the others!"
Enjin coughs into his fist as though he hadn't overreacted and spoke up again. "I'm sayin' he's cute for you."
Zanka bites back the politer words he has and barks out, "what are you talking about?"
The confusions and shock on Zanka's face is mirrored by Enjin for a short moment before he goes back to his usual smirk. He crosses his arms over his chest with a deep hum.
"Well, it seems like I misunderstood."
"Misunderstood what?"
"I thought y'all had a lil thing going on there...so I thought."
Zanka finally understands what he's trying to say and it feels as though a volcano of boiling trash had erupted somewhere from the way he jumps out of his chair. His whole body feels warm, nearly hot. He is sure it shows on his face from the way Enjin cracks a grin. He attempts to sputter out an answer, a denial.
A feeling arises in his chest that if he sat there any longer all the respect Zanka had accumulated towards Enjin throughout the years will disappear within the hour.
He chooses to walk away.
He walks outside to see Fu sitting on the bench, Amo next to him talking his ears off again. He sees Fu flail and nearly fall backwards over something Amo says.
Once closer he sees that Fu is completely red, flushing so hard that he's trembling. It's an almost, cute look on him. Zanka wants to hit something at the thought of it. Fu is still flailing his arms around, trying to speak over Amo who still hasn't stopped running her mouth.
"Fu."
His voice has both figures freezing. They turn to him almost simultaneously, Fu looking terrified and Amo delighted.
"We were talking about you!" Amo says in a sickly sweet voice. Zanka sees Fu pale behind her.
He raises an eyebrow at her words, unable to help but be intrigued.
"That so?"
On a different day he'd have brushed off the words, telling Fu to come along before turning around and leaving. Except Fu was completely red in the face, the blush reaching the tips of his ears and down to the slightest hint of bare neck Zanka could see from where he standing. He isn't sure if it's curiosity or amusement that prompted him to continue the conversation, but he is sure that reaction is the cause.
"Yeah! Amo was telling Fu that Rudo was a better friend to hang out with."
Okay. Not where he thought this was going. Still, Amo continued.
"Rudo is caring and kind, even to Amo. Rudo will like Fu for sure. But Fu doesn't want to...he thinks he's fine where he is."
She frowns at the last part, like she didn't understand what the boy meant by it. Zanka frowned as well, knowing full well what the boy meant by it but mainly because he couldn't ignore the sting in his chest at the idea of Fu and Rudo hanging out.
Amo was not wrong in her words. Rudo, curious and so empathetic would probably hear Fu out if given the chance. He would probably know what to say to Fu to get him out of his subconsciously built shell. He would know what to do when Fu freezes up, although not well he'd still probably do it better than Zanka.
He would become friends with Fu.
Zanka couldn't do that. Not even after being by his side for a whole week.
He glances back up at Fu who looks as though he's about to keel over. He is keeling over, body closer to the ground than it was to the sky. He was holding that doll of his close to his chest, muttering something at a rapid pace. Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and he was breathing in short, quick puffs.
"Fu."
His stern-like tone was effective, snapping Fu out of whatever daze he was in. Amo has noticed the boy as well, rushing to him as she spoke.
"Oh no Fu! Is he okay? Do you need Amo to use her scent on Fu? She can calm you down right-"
"No need," Zanka cut her off. He pointedly ignored the look she gave him, focused solely on the boy. "Let's go."
He doesn't find it in himself to regret his commanding tone when Fu rushes to his side. He lets himself place an arm around the shorter boy's shoulder, only a little surprised by how bony it felt.
As they walked off he could hear a "bye Fu!" come from behind. He ignores the sting his chest gives again when he sees Fu smile a little at the voice, too tired to turn around himself.
They go all the way back to Zanka's room.
Fu seemed a little surprised to have been brought here though, even a little resistant, only entering when Zanka nudged him in twice.
Zanka closed the door after him and watched as the boy fidgeted in the middle of the room. Zanka's room was nothing remarkable, almost as bare as most other rooms in the dormitory. He had tried to liven it up a little, thinking that it would be- it was his home. The only place he could come back to. The only addition so far has been a nice rug and a very delicate tea set that had taken four months worth of his paycheck and was the reason he hasn't been able to get anything else for the room.
"You can sit down ya know?"
Fu sits down at once, dropping right where he was. He tries to hide it, but the way he's looking around isn't unnoticed by Zanka who is still standing by the closed door. He looks at the purplish-bluish rug Fu was sitting on and thinks that it suited the boy more than it did him.
They stand (and sit) around in silence before Zanka finally breaks it.
"How are ya feeling?"
"What?"
"You looked like you were gonna die, like on the spot."
Fu grimaced at his words but was quick to shake his head.
"I'm fine now! Thank you sir!"
"Sir?"
Zanka visibly blanched at the term a second time. Did he look that old? Sure Riyo was always telling him he acted like a 'boring, old man' but he didn't look old right!? He didn't act old either it was just Riyo who insisted on never acting her age unless she was on a job and-
Fu was trembling again. A part of Zanka surprised himself by wanting to reach out the boy, maybe pet his head head or something. The bigger, pettier part of him however frowned.
"I told ya to call me Zanka"
"Huh?"
Zanka impatiently tapped the stick still on his arms, gathering enough patience to repeating himself.
"Call me Zanka. We're the same age and you're calling me sir like some...old man."
"S-Sorry!?"
"Sorry what?" Zanka almost growls at him.
"S-Sorry Zanka."
"It's fine, Fu."
Fu looks like he was on the brink of something again, the same blush from before back again at full force. He looks up at Zanka with disbelieving eyes, mouth opening and closing wordlessly.
"Want some tea?" He gestures to the only other personal possession in his room.
Fu eyed the clearly expensive teapot with reluctance, "it's not...just for show?"
-
Logically, it is impossible to be drunk on tea. It has no ethanol that could be passed into the gaps of his brain cells or his metaphorical bloodstream. Especially not the chamomile tea they were drinking. And yet, Zanka isn't sure what else he could be blaming the giddiness he was feeling right now.
Once Zanka managed to force Fu to take a cup and drink the tea he had painstakingly steeped, and gotten him to throw the honorifics out of the vent, the boy had turned out to be a surprisingly good conversation partner.
He still preferred to listen. He was still fidgety and very cautious in case he said something wrong. But he was smiling more now, his shoulders had relaxed, and he felt safe enough to keep his doll propped next to him instead of having a death grip on it.
Zanka's adored instrument was also discarded (very adoringly) onto his mattress as he told Fu a rendition of the time he and Rudo first met.
"He used a-a god darned plumbin- holy- I don't even want to think about it." He groaned into his hands, leaving Fu dissolving into a fit of giggles.
The thing is, it was a nice sight. The laughter.
Zanka's eyes cross as he focuses on the small grin on Fu's face that he sees double. Maybe he was getting drunk.
That could be blamed for the words the accidentally spills out of his mouth.
"So, what are we?"
Fu pauses at that. He tilts his head a little, unsure as to what the question is or how to respond. Zanka curses in his mind over how stupid of a question that was, and also, mainly for exposing his vulnerability so easily.
"It's nothing."
"...Okay." Fu acquiesces so easily that it annoys Zanka even more.
"What?" He snaps before he can regret it, "that's it? Ya don't even care about what I mean?"
Fu studies his face carefully before speaking up in his usual squeak. "If you don't want to tell me..."
"Are we friends?" And really, Zanka was full of surprises today.
Fu's eyes were wide now. Shocked. Zanka couldn't tell if it was the good or bad kind. A part of him is devastated at the remembrance that he hasn't known Fu long enough to be able to tell.
"Are we..." Fu trails off again, a small shake to his voice. Zanka feels hopeless for a moment but he still voices out.
"This ain't an order at all. I ain't gonna tell ya ta be my friend or anythin'. Friendship is a choice or...something I don't exactly fucking know either I just- I'm not forcing you." His voice softens again, his precious quick fire dying down.
Fu isn't looking at him anymore, eyes trained down to the rug he was sitting on. He hadn't reached out the for the doll like Zanka expected him to, his fists tightening around the hem of his shirt instead. He mumbles something that Zanka has to lean down to hear.
"What?"
Fu doesn't repeat himself but Zanka stull pretends that he does.
"Speak up!"
To his credit it works. Fu's head whips up to face him and Zanka sees the reddened cheeks and teary eyes. It's a little cute his brain thinks, his heart shuts him up.
"I wish it was an order." Is what Fu says. Which is so utterly predictable but not what Zanka had expected to hear at all.
"What the fuck?"
Fu sniffles a little, scrunching up the shirt even more. "I wish...it was an order to be your friend."
"So basically ya just want to be my friend."
It is almost imperceptible, but Zanka sees Fu nod and nearly explodes.
"Then let's just be friends!?" Fu looks almost tortured by his suggestion. As though it was the conflict of the century.
"I-I can't!" Fu cried out, "I can't make the decision. I can't be the one- I can't get- I don't want- I.."
Fu chokes on his words, bending over to take a few breaths. He sounded broken. So scared and Zanka could only helplessly wish he knew the reason why.
He places a hand on the boy's back and feels the shudder than runs through his body.
"I'm sorry."
"I can't decide our friendship for you," Zanka says instead. Fu has that tortured look on his face again. "But I want to be your friend. You need to...decide...to be my friend too. Only if you want to"
For a split second the whole situation feels so immature and childish. Trying to become someone's friend, admitting to want to be closer to someone. Zanka doesn't have the time to ponder on the vulnerability of it all when he hears Fu exhale.
He looks uncomfortable when he speaks, but at least it's steady.
"I also want to be friends...with you."
It sounded genuine. Determined even through the shaky voice. And it did not help the way a warmth bloomed in Zanka's chest, quickly engulfing his whole body. He knew he was grinning, even more so when Fu blushed and looked away. Even that wasn't enough to deter his smile, leaning back in a now much relaxed posture.
"So just you, or even uh, Hii?"
"Both of us...Hii thinks you'd be a cool friend."
"Honored."
"He still thinks you're stuck up though."
It may have been the loudest that Zanka had laughed in ages. A full body, wholehearted laugh that echoed throughout his room as he fell on his back. He hears Fu laugh as well and grins even wider.
Perhaps it is the ecstasy of a friendship he had worked hard to earn. Or maybe it's because it was Fu was the friend he had made. That was the only explanations he could come up with the fluttering joy in his chest, one that seemed permanent and forever.
And if he does find out that feeling might be something a little more than what he had thought, then it is a problem he will solve at that time.