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"Excuse me?" Damian stared at his best friend, his frown making it clear that he didn't take the request lightly. "Have you lost your mind?"
"Dami, please." Jonathan was practically on his knees begging. He knew it was risky to make such a request in the middle of a patrol. "I promise, it won't be that weird."
He frowned, his usually bright green eyes looking duller at that moment. "How is pretending to be your boyfriend not going to be weird?"
Jonathan could explain; the situation was even more comical when you understood the context. At his last baseball game, as they left the field and planned to go out to eat after the final, confident they would win, one of the team managers came up to Jon and asked if they wanted to go to the celebration together. Superboy's brain was racing, trying to find the best solution so as not to hurt the girl in front of all his teammates, and the lie came out so naturally from his mouth: Sorry, I'm going with my boyfriend.
Jon's bisexuality was no secret at school or to his classmates and friends. He was already confident in asserting himself as bisexual, so saying he had a boyfriend wasn't a big surprise. But questions arose, questioning who he was and why he had never mentioned it before, and he needed a good excuse: My boyfriend can't expose his public life like that.
And one of Kent's friends, who for some reason was addicted to tabloids, brought up the rumors and gossip about dating his best friend, and he even had to announce it loud and clear: It was already impressive that you were Damian Wayne's best friend, now being a Wayne's boyfriend? Way to go, Kent.
The older boy closed his eyes, breathing deeply. "And why didn't you deny it? You know how complicated your life could get if any of them leaked that you're my supposed boyfriend." He spat the words between his teeth.
"Because who would doubt that the great Damian Wayne would get involved in a fake relationship?" He tried to win by boosting his best friend's ego, but it didn't work again. "Please, Dami, I promise you no one will leak anything, you have my word! Just help me this once, I promise I'll make up an excuse to break up with her as soon as Mary gets over me."
Robin sighed. "Okay, but this is the first and last time I'm doing this. Got it?"
"I promise, you have my word." He hugged him, despite the complaints he was uttering. "It'll be after tomorrow's game, you're my best friend!"
"I'm starting to think I'm the only one." The young man continued muttering and cursing across the rooftops in every language he knew, and Superboy had no idea there were so many. But one thing he learned from living with bats was to always have a contingency plan, and his plan for Damian was veggie burgers and milkshakes to calm him down.
Jonathan spent the night praying to every god he knew that everything would go well the next morning. He even considered asking to lose the game so that no one would want to go out to celebrate, but the next day arrived and he couldn't describe how relieved he felt when he saw Damian sitting next to his parents in the stands. He felt a little sorry that he had to pay attention to the game and couldn't use his super hearing to listen to the conversation.
Damian was greeted with a smile by the Kent-Lane couple, and he kept a neutral expression when he saw Jon's teammates staring at him. He would make that half-alien pay for it. "Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Kent."
"Good morning, Damian," Lois smiled, genuinely happy to see young Wayne there supporting her son. "What a surprise to see you here, you usually watch the games during summer vacation."
The little bird adjusted his sunglasses. "So he didn't tell you about the mess he got me into?"
The reporter laughed. There was a hint of nervousness in the boy's voice that she had never seen before in all the years she had known him. "What did Jon do?" She glanced at Clark, who was listening quietly.
"I'm your son-in-law for today," he said in a tone laden with mixed feelings, none of them positive. "He was caught off guard by a public date invitation and lied that he had a boyfriend, and it seems I'm the only guy he knows."
Clark took off his glasses as if he needed to make sure he was seeing right.
"Sorry, what?" Lois managed to say, already between laughter and disbelief.
Tired of fixing his glasses, he ran his hand through his hair, pretending to fix what was already millimeterically neat, it was just a habit to contain his nervousness. "I'm his boyfriend until the end of the day." He blinked, his eyelashes fluttering. "You need to talk to your son. Asking someone to be your boyfriend on a rooftop in Gotham is anticlimactic and not romantic at all."
Clark finally spoke, with a restrained laugh. "We'll talk to him." The Kryptonian thought it was wonderful how Bruce Wayne's son, the relentless Robin, had given in to his best friend's whims so easily. It was just a common tantrum from Jon, and Damian had already given in to his wishes. "Thank you for being such a good friend to him."
Damian looked surprised by Clark's words, not that Superman was focused on that, but the boy's heart had skipped a beat. "Don't thank me, he'll pay me back for this."
Lois chuckled softly, "That's okay, it's fair. Make his life a little harder, he made yours harder today."
There was no way to hide it from the two best journalists at Planet Daily. Lois had won a Pulitzer and was close to her second, and besides, they were (unacknowledged) doting parents. They knew how to read between the lines with their children, and Damian was part of the equation because he had grown up alongside Jon right before their eyes. They didn't think Jonathan chose Damian by chance, they didn't think Wayne put himself in that position as a fake boyfriend just because his friend insisted, they didn't think their boy smiled so happily at the bat's son when he hit a home run, they didn't think Damian seemed so much lighter when he saw Superboy's smile for no reason.
After an exceptional victory by Jon's school baseball team, Damian waited for them in front of the field. The whole team was terrible at hiding their excitement, their murmurs could be heard from afar, and suddenly they stopped when they got close to Wayne, and Jonathan was blushing in a shade of red Damian had never seen before.
Breaking the uncomfortable silence, Robin spoke first. "Hello," and they stood there, he was beginning to think it was a pattern among the idiots of Metropolis. His hand was extended toward Jon, a clear signal to hold his hand that was only understood after a few seconds' delay.
Kent took his fake boyfriend's hand, standing beside him. "Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Damian."
The effect was immediate. A new wave of whispers rippled through the group as if someone had dropped a bomb in the middle of the emotional force field that was Jonathan's classmates. Some gulped, others widened their eyes, and one or two seemed absolutely fascinated, as if the conspiracy theory had been confirmed with visual evidence.
"Wow..." someone whispered, loud enough for Jon to hear. "So it was ?"
One of his classmates named Ben seemed very impressed that Wayne was standing right next to him. "I can't believe we're going to a diner with Damian Wayne. You're really impressive, Kent." When he got too close to Damian, Jon pulled his best friend closer to him. "Calm down, Kent, no one's going to steal your boyfriend."
Kathy interjected. "Let's hurry to the diner, those jerks from the rival school love to try to steal the best seats."
The group reorganized, walking down the sidewalk toward their favorite diner. All that teenage chaos was already messing with Robin's head, and he started thinking about all the shitty situations he'd gotten himself into out of consideration for his friend. Despite the chaotic atmosphere, he was at least grateful that no one had spoken to him yet.
"You know, Jon," said the club manager, the girl who had tried to confess her feelings to Jonathan. "We're curious, why did you fall in love with Damian?"
The question took the best friends by surprise, and before he could even answer, Jon was blushing again. "You know..." he scratched his chin awkwardly. "He's a good person, he always helps me even when I'm annoying him saying I don't need it, he's kind and... my soda is gone." He quickly changed the subject, as if his conscience had punched him.
As if the embarrassment had been transmitted to him, Damian got up from his chair. "I'll get it for you."
Matthew, the team's pitcher, teased them and didn't help ease their embarrassment. "Look at the couple in love, the famous Wayne going to get soda for our Jonno."
"Damian," Kathy called him with that tone of voice that had an evil plan in motion. "Your love has already answered, but why did you fall in love with Jon?"
And at that moment, the bird reviewed all the training he had, every lesson learned while fighting crime, but nothing seemed to be the right strategy for that moment. So, emotional stupidity was his best answer. "It was because it was him, that's all, so if you'll excuse me."
Damian went to get the soda, and Jon was too airy to pay attention to anything his friends were saying. It wasn't that he was losing control of his powers, but it seemed like his ears were filled with his own heartbeat. As night fell, Damian and Jon made up an excuse to go home, but they didn't imagine so many prying eyes from the diner window.
"Again, thank you so much for doing that for me, it must have been awkward for you." Jon muttered, as if other people had the same ability as him to hear their conversation.
Damian shrugged. "No problem, but do you think Mary was convinced?" He said this because they were still staring at them.
"Well, we did the best we could, let's hope they don't ask about you again." The laughter was an attempt to pretend everything was fine, but Jon was still stuck on Damian's earlier words.
"Pay attention to me, we're going to hug," he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing to speak. "I'm going to kiss your cheek, and we'll never talk about it again."
Jon raised an eyebrow, half skeptical, half curious. "You want to kiss me... as a strategy?"
"On the cheek," Damian added. "But yes, I'm going to kiss you."
Superboy slowly opened his arms, and Damian took a step forward, enveloped by them with surprising naturalness. The hug between the two was longer than it needed to be, quieter than anything they had ever experienced. Jon felt his friend's breath near his shoulder, the soft scent he wore, strangely relaxing. Pulling away from Jon, Wayne pulled his friend down slightly and kissed him lightly on the cheek. They pulled apart, an awkward silence hanging between them.
"Did it work?"
And to answer Jon's question, not really, they still watched eagerly as if waiting for the next act. "Dami, what do we do now?"
"I'm going to do something, and you'll be in my debt for the rest of your life."
This time, he didn't pull Jonathan toward him, he stood on his tiptoes to even out the height difference, a difference that annoyed Damian more than he cared to admit. He rested his hands on Jon's chest and stole a kiss from Jon's lips, which still tasted of the pie they had eaten last. And as if that weren't enough to freeze the boy's mind, Damian's bright eyes seemed even cuter in his confession.
"I can't believe I lost my first kiss to help you." He seemed to be floating, but at least it had worked out; they didn't seem interested in seeing them kiss, they just had to have proof of their relationship.
"Me too..." Jon's voice sounded high-pitched, almost as if he were trying to hold back a scream. "That was my first kiss too."
Damian blushed, not just a slight flush or a discreet stammer, his face was burning, his eyes seemed even brighter than seconds before. Even more embarrassed, he cursed. "You idiot."
"Why am I the idiot if you kissed me?"
Surprisingly, they didn't make it into an argument, they just stared at each other and laughed awkwardly. Damian made a proposal. "Let's not talk about it, okay, it would be too weird."
"I accept that deal, after all, you did it to help me." Jonathan smiled, and Damian felt conflicted, calmer and more agitated at the same time.
They both had the feeling that they wouldn't forget that kiss so easily, an attractive and uncertain rupture seemed to draw them into a desire to submit to this charade once again.