Chapter Text
She was gone.
Neil watched as the flames consumed the car, and with it, his mother. This felt more like a waking nightmare than anything as he pulled his knees to his chest.
Why, why, why? His mind seemed to ask him over and over, as he couldn’t look away, feeling the heat from the flames burning bright into the cool night air.. He didn’t know if it would draw anyone to them, but he had to do this. He couldn’t stand not leaving her there, to have someone find her, and then things get even messier than they were.
How had it all gone so wrong? It was supposed to be a quick stop, one where they weren’t in Seattle for long.
But Neil knew that it was his fault.
It had been a careless mistake. He had been stopped by a display of plushies. And the one that resembled the wooden figurine that he had carried with him since he had been at that summer camp.
Drew.
That summer felt like a lifetime ago. It was the last time he remembered feeling truly safe.
Truly happy.
He and Drew had just been children then. Kids who were just trying to survive in a world filled with monsters. Even a young Neil understood the danger they faced.
That small wooden figure, Drew’s, had been his constant companion through countless terrifying moments.
He remembered when he had clutched it when they had almost gotten caught in Europe, the time after he’d been shot. His mother had to practically pry it from his hand to dig the bullet out. She had cursed his recklessness and stupidity even as she worked. But even then, he’d kept it. He’d held onto it for all these years.
Because it was the last thing that he had. That last connection to a single, happy memory.
Now, Neil gazed at the worn wooden shark. The years of small hands rubbing its surface had softened its edges, misshapen it slightly. But the shark was unmistakable. This object had offered him comfort for so long. Too much had happened since he last saw Drew. Too much had passed between that carefree child and the person he was now. The constant running, the brutal fighting, the gnawing fear, and the pervasive scent of blood. So much blood.
As he watched the dying embers of the fire that had consumed his mother, Neil knew. He was no longer that carefree and innocent child. That child who had told his only friend, Drew, that he hoped to see him again someday. Because daring to hope, daring to let that glimmer of good catch and grow, would be his undoing.
He didn't deserve good things. He'd learned that lesson well.
Yet, even now, a flicker of something remained. A desperate need to know. He dragged himself away from the car’s remains, and he buried his mother’s bones in the soft sand. Then, he made a vow. He would find his way back to West Virginia. And maybe, just maybe, he would find Drew there.
He could only hope time had been kinder to his old friend. He desperately hoped that Drew hadn't forgotten him in the ten years that had passed. If Drew had forgotten, Neil feared he would be lost forever, consumed by the monster his mother had made him, or perhaps, the boy his father had once wanted him to be.