Chapter Text
Awful. He looked awful, so... disgusting. Mika hated seeing his own reflection; all he saw was an ugly monster.
A scrawny, unkempt figure with such horrible eyes they would scare you once you realized they weren't the same color... Maybe that's why his biological parents abandoned him. Mika didn't blame them; he didn't like what he saw in his reflection.
At times, he would wonder how his beloved oshi-san hadn't gotten rid of him yet, if Mika wasn't like the pretty Nazuna. Yes, Mika liked... he likes Nazuna a lot, he respects him and everything, but sometimes, just sometimes, he wished he were him. He didn't want to be like him, no, Mika wanted to be him. Then maybe Shu would look at him the same way he looked at Nazuna, maybe then Shu would love him as much as Mika loved him.
"Kagehira, you're taking too long."
Shu Itsuki, his beloved oshi-san, the very reason Mika still lived... So beautiful and perfect to him, Mika was just a shadow, a puppet trying to fulfill Shu's desires and whims to perfection, but always failing in the attempt; the man was difficult to please. Mika had stopped eating the candies he loved so much and had started to starve himself in order to achieve the perfect body for Shu.
But all he got was concern from his friends, especially Narukami, his best friend. She saw Mika getting thinner and thinner and was worried he would become just skin and bones. Narukami tried to help Mika, but Mika told her that everything was fine and even questioned why she was worried, since he was healthy, wasn't he?
No. He wasn't healthy anymore. Mika reached a point where he couldn't look at his own reflection because it made him nauseous. He had ruined his own body, the only decent attribute he had left.
Shu would hate him, he would be disgusted by him. Mika wanted to die. He wanted to disappear. If Shu hated him, then why even live? Mika only lived to make Shu's fantasies come true, to bring the art of his beloved oshi-san to life.
Now, Mika was with his bestie, Narukami, at a coffee shop. They'd just had a meeting with the other members of their small friend group called Pretty 5. Mika hadn't ordered anything for himself... He said he'd eaten before coming to the coffee shop, but the others knew that wasn't true. Still, they didn't want to force him to eat, since that would only worsen things. Still, Mika ordered a croissant for Shu, since Shu would pick him up at the coffee shop in order to go to their rehearsal.
"Mika-chan, dear, I don't want to make you uncomfy, you know I love you, but... I've noticed... you've been acting a bit off lately. I'm genuinely worried about you. Do you, err, need help...?" Narukami asked in a concerned, yet gentle tone, as she didn't want to upset her best friend. She was so worried, and, who wouldn't be, seeing their friend slowly losing their sanity?
"Eh? What... what d'ya mean, Naru-chan? 'm perfectly fine..." Mika tried to convince himself, but he couldn't convince his best friend, she just looked at him with a frown.
"Mika-chan, please tell me what's wrong, is it... is it because of Itsuki-senpai?" Narukami asked, a little bit too agitated for her liking, she didn't like that oshi-san guy sometimes, as Mika had suffered a lot because of him.
"Uh~ahh?! No! ‘m ‘kay, Naru-chan~” Mika said once again. The boy wouldn't give up, huh?
“Mika-chan! You're my bestie! My BFF! I know you, and that look on your face tells me you're not doing well at all.” Narukami said, then took Mika's hand and squeezed it gently. “You're my best friend, you know you can tell me everything, don't you? If there's something bothering you… you can tell me. And if you don't feel ready to tell me what it is, just say it, I'll wait.” Narukami said so softly Mika almost burst into tears right there. Narukami grew even more worried, if she hadn't been worried enough already, and took Mika's face in her soft hands, trying to comfort her friend a bit.
“Naru-chan~” Mika said in a whiny tone, as he started tearing up. The boy tried to wipe his tears away with the sleeve of his jacket, but Narukami wouldn't let him; she wiped the tears from the heterochromatic-eyed boy herself.
“There, there.” Narukami murmured, as she frowned a bit.
“I-I… Naru-chan… ‘m jus’... I feel so horrible…” Mika finally confessed, kinda. “I think oshi-san hates me~” Mika mumbled, his lips quivering.
Narukami frowned, once again, and she squeezed Mika's cheeks. “Mika-chan, don't be silly, why would he hate you?”
“Cuz ‘m ugly ‘nd.. stupid… jus’ look at me…” Mika started saying, pointing at himself, he then let out a whine.
"Mika-chan, you are not stupid." Narukami said firmly, as she now held Mika's shoulders.
And then Mika told Narukami how he felt. It was like seeing him naked. Seeing him vulnerable. Mika opened up to Narukami, letting her see right into his soul. And Narukami didn't like what she saw. Her best friend had sunk low, right to the depths. It was horrible. Narukami began to feel even more guilt. Why hadn't she insisted on helping Mika when she still could? Narukami knew that, when Mika fell, it was difficult for him to get back up…
Perhaps Shu could help Mika... Shu's opinion is extremely important to Mika. Like, Mika cares more about how Shu sees him than his own health. Maybe Narukami should tell Shu about it.
Yeah, Narukami will tell Shu about it.
Mika needs help. And he might listen to Shu…