Work Text:
Tomjemmings started chat
Tomjemmings renamed chat ROOM 176
Tomjemmings invited mamjer and aaalston to ROOM 176
Tomjemmings: Hello, it is I, Thomas Jemmings, your new roommate
Mamjer: Hi, I’m James Mercury
Aaalston: Aaron Alston
Tomjemmings: @aaalston can i call you ay-ay-ron
Aaalston: @tomjemmings no
Mamjer: I thought this was supposed to be a quad
Tomjemmings: It was, our other roommate was a real-life french person, and transferred rooms
Mamjer: Have you guys gone to orientation yet?
Tomjemmings: No
Aaalston: Yeah, just last weekend. You?
Mamjer: I think I’m going to the last session. I was registered for one of the first sessions, but then I got sick so my mom made me change it
Tomjemmings: so how was it? @aaalston
Aaalston: It was fine
Tomjemmings: WAIT
Tomjemmings: did u hear about the guy who got punched in the face for something he did in a past life in the central quad
Tomjemmings: apparently one of the guys in the history department that came out to settle the mess was GEORGE WASHINGTON
Mamjer: Oh yeah, I heard about that
Aalston: I did hear about that, yes
Tomjemmings: I WANT THE DETAILS
Aaalston: I am the one who got punched
Mamjer: what did you possibly do to deserve that
Tomjemmings: does this mean you met george washington
Aaalston: @mamjer I killed him in a duel @tomjemmings and yes, I suppose it does
Mamjer: what the fuck @aaalston
Tomjemmings: who was it
Aaalston: some kid named Alexander, Miller I think
Mamjer: but who WAS he
Aaalston: idk, but the history guy asked everyone if they knew who alexander hamilton was and he had to physically hold the kid back when no one did, so probably something to do with him
Tomjemmings: H O L Y S H I T
Tomjemmings: did washington say anything to you?
Aaalston: No, I was passed out
Mamjer: u got knocked out by a five and a half foot immigrant who can’t walk in a straight line
Aaalston: what
Aaalston: that’s oddly specific
Tomjemmings: Burr, we get it, extremes and certainty make you uncomfortable, but no need to be so obnoxious about it
Aaalston: what
Mamjer: wait
Mamjer: do you not know
Aaalston: if you’re talking about my revelation, then no, I haven’t quite figured that out yet. I just figured I was some general human being who didn’t do all that much
Tomjemmings: I mean
Tomjemmings: you’re known for being a vague bastard, never becoming president, and killing alexander hamilton
Aaalston: did we know each other
Mamjer: Yeah, we worked together
Tomjemmings: Did washington really not say anything to you, even after you woke up
Aaalston: no, if anything, he aggressively passive-aggressively ignored me
Tomjemmings: that’s because hamilton was washington’s favorite
Mamjer: are you still bitter
Mamjer: It’s been 300 years
Aaalston: do you guys know each other
Tomjemmings: this is the first time meeting in this lifetime
Aaalston: Also, you called me Burr. It sounds familiar, but like, you don’t know enough about me to guess who I am
Mamjer: There are several people Alexander Hamilton would punch in the face
Mamjer: But there are only two that he would put in enough energy to actually knock out
Tomjemmings: Hint: the other person is me
Mamjer: how do u know u killed him in a duel yet literally nothing else
Aaalston: I don’t know man, and I just remembered it when I saw him at orientation. I went up to introduce myself because he seemed familiar, and then he punched me
Tomjemmings: omg u literally just walked up to the man u killed and were like “hi, u seem familiar, wanna drink?”
Aaalston: I didn’t even get the chance to open my mouth. He literally turned around and punched me
Mamjer: Alexander Hamilton, the Burr-Detector
Tomjemmings: that’d be a useful skill
Aaalston: what the hell is that supposed to mean
Tomjemmings: you had the ability to always be involved even when u did nothing
Aaalston: who were you, anyways
Mamjer: James Madison
Tomjemmings: Thomas Jefferson
Aaalston: wait I was friends with historical figures
Tomjemmings: I wouldn’t call us friends
Mamjer: Yeah, the only person u called friend was hamilton and then u shot him
Aaalston: what
Mamjer: but yeah, and technically, you too were a historical figure
Tomjemmings: Wait
Tomjemmings: Guys
Tomjemmings: I feel like we just glossed over an incredibly important fact
Mamjer: ???
Tomjemmings: Alexander Hamilton is going to be at the same school as us
Mamjer: ohmygod
Tomjemmings: I didn’t sign up for this shit I quit I’m transferring
Mamjer: He supported you in the end; he can’t be that bad - and like you probably won’t even run into each other
Tomjemmings: what is one thing that the school is known for, think really hard
Aaalston: the debate team
Mamjer: yeah, you’re not getting rid of him anytime soon
Tomjemmings: and Washington is there too
Aaalston: he’s the coach for the debate team
Tomjemmings: O F F U C K I N G C O U R S E
Mamjer: And the three of us are in a room
Mamjer: And Washington is there
Tomjemmings: we had a real life frenchie transfer rooms
Mamjer: I’ll bet you ten boxes of mac and cheese that it’s lafayette
Tomjemmings: hamilton is going to have his group of friends following him around everyone and he’s gonna be W O R S E
Mamjer: is that possible, I thought he peaked with the pamphlet, or u know, his son’s death
Tomjemmings: now he has both of those events under his belt, the lack of fucks to give college brings, and emotional support
Mamjer: j e s u s
Tomjemmings: @aaalston was there anyone else who seemed to show interest in the midget
Aaalston:There was this one guy, maybe a girl, idk, with dark hair and a french accent, and then there were these two girls
Tomjemmings: LAFAYETTE
Mamjer: The girls?
Aaalston: Yeah, I think they were sisters? Twins would make sense bc they were both at freshman orientation. I heard that they nearly attacked the professor to get to Alexander
Tomjemmings: NAMES?!?!
Aaalston: I don’t know? I think I heard them call each other Lizzie and Angel tho
Tomjemmings: A N G E L I C A
Tomjemmings: wait she flocked to hamilton
Tomjemmings: what the fuck
Aaalston: also i keep meaning to ask but y do u guys keep saying hamilton has to be short, people often change in appearance you know
Mamjer: well, yes, but hamilton is hamilton
Tomjemmings: he’s like an energizer bunny, I don’t want to see him normal sized
Mamjer: and u haven’t once denied the fact that he’s tiny, so it’s obviously still true
Aaalston: He was quite small
Tomjemmings: smol
Mamjer: what
Aaalston: does this mean that you guys have never had to study for american history
Tomjemmings: #random but that would be correct
Mamjer: why did you use that poor hashtag like that
Tomjemmings: Like what #confused
Mamjer: like that
Aaalston: So, what is everyone majoring in?
Tomjemmings: Polisci
Mamjer: same
Tomjemmings: omg just like old times
Mamjer: omg i’m looking forward to watching u debate with hamilton
Tomjemmings: SAME
Mamjer: I’ll bet you ten more boxes of mac and cheese that’s he’s doing a triple major or something equally as ridiculous with polisci, finance, and econ, and then he’s also going to run a blog or casually be the editor for the newspaper
Aaalston: wtf
Tomjemmings: dude u really need to get caught up on your bio, bc lemme tell u, so many people hate u
Aaalston: what did I do
Mamjer: kill hamilton
Aaalston: but I thought everyone hated him, and like no one knows who he is anymore
Tomjemmings: everyone hates hamilton
Tomjemmings: but also
Tomjemmings: have u looked at his eyes #sopretty
Mamjer: did u have a thing for hamilton @tomjemmings
Tomjemmings: Who didn’t
Mamjer: I didn’t
Tomjemmings: well then
Aaalston: I don’t think I did, either
Tomjemmings: u don’t even know
Tomjemmings: and besides u didn’t have feelings
Aaalston changed name to colderthancold
Colderthancold: u call me emotionless, didn’t you have slaves
Tomjemmings: so did a lot of people
Mamjer: that’s not a good argument
Mamjer: Hamilton could rip through that in seconds
Mamjer: in fact he did, during a time when slavery was socially acceptable
Tomjemmings: u u u u g g g g g h h h h h h h
Tomjemmings: if u rly must know
Tomjemmings: I no longer have slaves
Mamjer: ur virginian sensibilities must be wounded
Tomjemmings: lol I’m not from virginia
Mamjer: no
Colderthancold: r u from france
Tomjemmings: y would I be from france
Colderthancold: I just had a distinct flashback of hamilton ranting about your terrible french accent and how you tried to imitate them in all ways because of the time you spent over there instead of fighting in the war like a real man
Tomjemmings: why do you hate me
Colderthancold: I don’t, Hamilton did
Mamjer: were u guys friends ? ? ?
Mamjer: I never got that cleared up, tbh
Colderthancold: I don’t?? Know???
Tomjemmings: well u did shoot him, so i feel like that decreases your friendship by at least ten points