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The young boy take a look through the barely open barred windows.
If his mother saw him, she would be so afraid. So angry.
But she isn't here, and he miss the warm of the sun on his pale skin and starring at the beautiful green of the garden with the little bird that would land there.
Before, he just wouldn't go to school or in town. Now he got his scar, he wasn't even allowed to go in the garden.
He is sure it has something to do with what she did to him.
But she did it for the boy, so he must not judge her.
His mother must have been so afraid to loose her son too, since he is the only family she had left.
So she got rid of any kind of danger ; his step-father, the outside, the void, his precious cape, the other people ...
He knew it was for the best, to protect him. The world is such a dangerous place and he loves his mom so much, he doesn't want to worries her.
But he miss the gentle wind that would mess up his hair, he miss the sweet grass where he would run bare feet, giggling because of the tickling. The land he would cross in no time, chasing after the migrating birds.
The liberty.
The freedom.
But he was lucky.
He was lucky, because his house was not too small. He had the whole attic as his room and a lot of toys gifted for his birthday.
But the bars on the window and the locked room were a too big remember of his state
He was lucky because he had his mom. His so lovely mom that would do anything for him. She would probably kill for her son.
She had already. The stains in the kitchen table would not let him forget.
His mother who would listen to him when he talks about his day. His mother who would braid his hair while singing pretty lullaby. His mother who was always here for him .
But the boy envy so much the children comming back from school with other students, their friends, without a parent to follow them everywhere. He envy the joke they make together and the genuine laugh that would ensues, not some forced ones or some reprimand for reading such profanity
He envy their happiness
He feel lonely
So lonely
He doesn't see the car park, too occupied watching the birds and the flies
Too occupied envying theirs wings
He doesn't hear either, the front door opening, nor does he gives attention to the noise of steps coming up quickly.
When she unlock the door of his room, she found him on the windowsill, head against the irons bars.
And she saw him fall. She saw him grows wings, rip off the restraint that kept him in.
She saw her son fly away from her, leaving her alone
And she didn't wanted that
So she ran and yanked him away from the danger. Startled by the suddent movement, the young man got pulled in the safe arms of her mother :
"What where you thinking about, leaning towards the void like that ?! What if you fell and I wasn't here ? Never do that again!!"
" Your bars would have stopped me mama..." The boy struggled against her grip
"It could have broke and what would have happened to you, hmm ? What would I do after you've passed over the window ? Do you think a bit about me." She seemed so upset, so worried. It made him feel bad.
"I'm sorry mama... I hadn't thought about this all that... I won't do it again. But I miss going out so much, why can't I go to the garden anymore ?"
He was so tiered of the four walls of his room that never changed, the air that stilled, the odor that stayed the same.
Her eyes darkened for a quick second, so fast that he hadn't noticed the change.
The woman got up, letting her son on the ground as she left to close the window.
"You already know the answer. Because it's dangerous for you and there is a lot of bad people out that would love to steal such a lovely little man from me." She looked at him with all the love a mother could express with just a glance, but it had a bittersweet undertone.
She sighed and softly continued :
"You must be hungry my dear, let's make dinner. And then we could do a board game."
"Can we cook some bortsch please ?"
"Yes we can darling"
Nikolai woke up in his bed, a bit lost and nervous. Looking around he realized he wasn't in the big attic room anymore.
He wasn't with her anymore
He was at least a little bit more free than before
One day, he'll be fully free
Now, he is part of the DOA, a terrorist organization. His mother would surely have a heart attack knowing that.
But that didn't matter, she did not matter, he didn't even know her name anymore.
He didn't wanted to dream of her anymore, remember her anymore
He heard a faint knock on the door that got him out of his thoughts.
"Yes ?"
The entrance opened slowly and a half lavender half white haired boy got in :
" Huh... Hello, hum, Fyodor asked me to woke you up... He made some breakfast and said he would hate to waste it, so..." They explained, anxiously playing with some strands of hair, likely expecting a trick coming from the clown.
Since some times now, he had moved in the "DOA head quarter ", AKA Fyodor house, to stay near Dostoevsky for him to assure he didn't betray them.
"Give me five minutes and I will come down "
"Okay, I'll let him know "