Work Text:
[Video description starts.
A purple and an pink labubu are seated in a miniature bar, with small cups of tea in front of them. “Darling I’m so happy we could meet up today! Work has been eating me!” the purple labubu says. “Oh yes, I know, your bread factory had some trouble! My jam factory also has been very busy! Luckily, I am on top of things!” the pink labubu answers. The camera pans back to the purple doll. “Oh? Your factory? I thought it was yours and your husband’s” it asks, with a cocked head. The camera pans to the pink labubu. “No, my factory. I founded it before marriage, he would get it only in the case of my death” it says, then it sips a little from her tea cup. “He is too busy fooling around with his new mistress anyway” it adds. The camera zooms on the purple labubu’s face, then to the pink, then to the purple, then finally to the pink one. “Well I don’t want to keep you here forever!” it says, standing up. “Oh yes, I have much to do and discuss!” the purple labubu says. It waits for the other doll to leave, then it retrieves a chunky phone from its purse. “She’s onto us” she says into the speaker.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
A purple labubu is shown looking outside from a window in a business office. The camera pans to the door, where someone is knocking. The doll turns and greets an orange labubu, wearing a little felt necktie. “Have you thought about my offer?” it asks. “Yes, and the answer it’s still no” says the orange labubu. It strikes a dramatic pose. “I resign from my position as delegate administrator of this company!” it says throwing its necktie to the ground. The camera zooms dramatically on the purple labubu’s face. ”No. NO!” it exclaims. The doll picks up the orange one. “You’re not leaving me, I’m firing you!” it yells. The next shot show the orange doll falling dramatically towards the camera, then a different shot shows it bouncing on the pavement. The last shot shows the orange labubu laying in front a building made out of a cereal box.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
A pink labubu is driving a hot pink car. A dark blue labubu is waiting for it in front of a toy house. “This is a new car” the dark blue labubu comments. “I didn’t like the last one anymore, and I can afford it” the pink labubu says. The camera pans to the garage, where two other hot pink cars are parked. “If you really want to get a new one, buy one” the pink labubu says while opening the door to the house. “Oh right, you can’t!” it laughs, then slams the door. The camera slowly zooms over the dark blue labubu’s face. “One day” it says while ominous music plays.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
The pink labubu is sittingg behind a desk in an office clearly recycled from the other sketch. The orange labubu enters. “Hello, I’m here to interview for the position of administrative admin” it says. “Yes this is the room where you interview for the position of administrative admin” the pink labubu says standing up. “Show me what you can do” it says. The camera shows the orange labubu. “I used to make bread, but no”. The doll suddenly has sunglasses on. “Let’s jam”. The orange labubu sists in front a computer and wildly types on its keyboard. “I just organized all of your excel sheets by color coding” it says, showing some colorful graphs drawn in felt tip pen. The camera zooms dramatically over the pink labubu’s face. “Oh my god!” it says. The orange doll types again. “I just organized all of your money in alphabetical order!” it says, showing a graph with “stonks!” written on it. The camera zooms even more dramatically over the pink labubu’s face. “OH MY GOD!” it exclaims. The orange labubu types again. “I just earned this company three trillion dollars!” it says. The camera shows the pink labubu. “OH MY GOD!!!!!!” it says throwing its paws up. The doll loses its balance, and the orange labubu quickly catches it. Romantic music plays. The camera shows a close up of the pink labubu’s face. Next shot shows a close up of the orange labubu’s face. The last shot shows both of them, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
The pink labubu comes home and parks its big pink car. It opens its bedroom door and the camera pans over showing the dark blue labubu laying in a bed with a slip of paper that says “book” written on it. “I hired a new executive today” the pink labubu says. “Uh-hu the dark blue” labubu says. “He made me a gazillion dollars today” the pink doll says. “Uh-hu” the dark blue doll answers. “Also, you’re fired and I want a divorce” the pink labubu says. “Uh-huWAIT WHAT?!” the blue labubu says while the camera theatrically zooms on its face. The camera cuts to a dramatic close up of the pink labubu’s face. “Leave. Now.” it orders.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
A close up of the dark blue labubu’s hand while it knocks on a door made out of an ice-cream carton. “She divorced me” he proclaims. “What?!” the purple labubu exclaims. “This is a good thing” says the dark blue labubu stepping towards the purple one. “We can finally be together” it says embracing the other doll. “But what about the company?” the purple labubu asks. “It’s fine, I can get it” the darkblue labubu says. The camera shows a close up of its face. “I just have to kill her” it adds. “And I just now the person” the purple doll says. Both of them laugh, while the music swells orchestrally.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
The purple labubu is cast in shadow and is typing on a small computer crudely drawn on a slip of paper. The video then shows a website called “assassin-for-hire.org” with pictures many labubu of different colors. The cursor clicks on the picture of the orange labubu. The video then shows its profile, wich displays the following:
NAME: Orange
LIKES: Strangulation, stabbing, clubbing (with a club to death)
DISLIKES: Poisoning, shooting, clubbing (at the club with sudden noises).
The cursor then scrolls down to the big red “Hire” button and clicks it. The purple labubu laughs maniacally.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
[Video description starts.
The pink labubu is driving towards the cafè of the first video. The purple labubu is waiting for it already sitting at the table. “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” the pink doll says. “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” the purple doll says. They sit at the table and the camera pans towards the decorative bushes behind the table, where the orange labubu with a balaclava is hiding. The doll jumps out and the camera pans toward the dark blue labubu. “Oh no! An assassin wants to assassin my beautiful wife!” it yells. “No!” the orange labubu exclaims. It removes its balaclava dramatically. “I called the police and they’ll be here shortly!”
The purple and the dark blue labubu gasp dramatically. A brown labubu appears with a drawing of a police cap taped to its forehead. “You’re both under arrest for trying to unalive this person!” it says. “And I came here to say…” says the orange labubu. It grabs the pink labubu. “I love you”
“No!!!” the purple and the dark blue labubu cry in unison. “I knew I had to use South VPN!” the purple says.
The video then cuts to a sponsored segment advertising SouthVPN.
The Tik-Tak logo flashes, with the moniker “Big Buck$” written under it.
End video description]
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Inappropriate use of Labubu
To the courteous attention of whom it may concern,
This cease and desist is sent from the labubu company LLC towards Swindle of Gestalt.
You inappropriately partnered with SouthVPN in a fiscal collaboration and illegitimately earned a financial compensation from the company likeness.
Take down the illegitimate videos otherwise our legal team will have to proceed and take you to court.
Hoping this email finds you well,
BigShot of Lawyer,
Iacon, LabubuLLC
[Video description starts.
The title says “We need to talk”.
A cybertronian with a purple torso and yellow arms is sitting in front of a couch, looking dejectedly to the side.
He picks up a ukulele.