Work Text:
William had a dream.
In it, time is different.
In it, people are different.
In it, he is different.
William knows there's a hole in his memory, even if he can't find it.
There is a void that he cannot see.
William's first memory is of his mother calling him. He doesn't know why, but he knows he feels happy. Could it be that time his mother called him to play together? He remembers playing with his teddy bear (William) before he heard her. Although he doesn't know what happened after that, the last thing he remembers is darkness.
In his dreams things are different.
He calls a man "father" who looks nothing like her real dad (or maybe he does?).
He calls a woman he has never met "sister" (he is an only child, he has no siblings, it is impossible for him to have an older sister).
He calls his bear, that old doll that is destroyed by time, William (but it's impossible that much time has passed, right?).
And he is called prince (although there is never any respect in his tone).
When he talks to his parents about their past, there's a time that always makes their faces twist in grimaces of pain, fear, and sadness.
They never answer him when he asks.
In his dreams, he doesn't grow any further. The longest he's ever grown (was it?) is adolescence, or so he thinks. His dreams don't extend to adulthood. Even now, at 20, the "I" in his dreams no longer grows with him.
It's not like the "he" dreamy is a teenager forever...
It's that "he" is dead.
In his world, heroes exist. They keep him safe from the external dangers that threaten the Earth, from the monsters that lurk throughout the world, from beings from other planets (even, at times, from himself).
But there is one that always feels bad.
Shadowman.
He used his shadow to fight, he was a good person, he protected the innocent (Why not me?), he was a good hero. Nobody knows what happened to him, one day he just disappeared (Did you return to your original home too Muel?). But whenever he hears or thinks about him his head throbs, it hurts too much (his heart races), he can't explain why that happens to her, but it's never pleasant.
In his dreams, things aren't pleasant. He always feels a sense of unhappiness; it's not pleasant.
In his dreams he remembers being in Central Park, his supposed sister is the one who doesn't leave him there.
In his dreams he is having fun with a man, perhaps a Central Park worker who finds him standing alone in the park, that is probably his happiest dream.
But his dreams are not pleasant (were they ever?), and the fun ends, the peace ends, and envy with anger arrives.
He never manages to specify what happened for everything to end up like this.
But he knows one thing, he wasn't saved.
During his childhood and adolescence, his mother was very overprotective, always wanting to know where he was and if he was okay. If she didn't hear from him, she'd have a panic attack. His father isn't any better; he also worries excessively, but he's better than his mother.
William doesn't know why they're like this, he doesn't remember ever running away, he doesn't remember disappearing for so long that they would worry about his absence.
But, again he is left in the dark when he asks why.
He knows that the emptiness in his memory has something to do with it.
In his dreams he promises to take everything from his supposed father.
Everything he loves.
Even himself.
William knows that his dreams… no, his nightmares are just that, nightmares. They may be too realistic, but he knows for sure that they never happened (right?) , that they are just a product of his imagination (but they are too recurrent, too specific…).
His life is prosperous, he has his family and friends by his side, he does well in his studies and he enjoys every moment of his life (the life he should have lived from the beginning).
And their nightmares will remain forever just that, nightmares, something that never happened.
Jin… I'm glad you're doing well.