Work Text:
At Chihu Highschool, a young Snezhnayan boy listlessly stared at the clock above the classroom blackboard. He wiggled his leg impatiently as if that could somehow help the time fly faster. Next to him, his seatmate was diligently taking down notes like the little nerd he was.
"Pst-- Ajax!" That nerd, his name was Wriothesley by the way, hissed quietly.
Ajax groaned dramatically. Without a word, he knew what Wriothesley wanted. After all, they've been doing the same song and dance ever since they became seatmates in class. Silently, he willed his leg to stop wiggling, and world peace was achieved for a few seconds.
Unfortunately, Ajax's restless energies only transferred towards his fingers tapping quickly on the wooden surface of his desk. Wriothesley shot a glare at him for this, but Ajax didn't care. Ajax merely fluttered his eyelashes and pouted. "But I'm so borrrrreddd," he whined.
Fortunately for Wriothesley's nerves the school bell rang and thus he was spared from any further distractions.
The class quickly began into the daily routine of cleaning their classroom. While Wriothesley and Ajax wiped the windows, Ajax pitched an idea that Wriothesley had heard many times before. "Hey, Wrio. Wanna head over to Tianheng Net today?" Ajax asked, batting his long eyelashes at his friend innocently. His big blue eyes certainly didn't help either as it only seemed to enhance Ajax's guileless charm. The last time fell for it, the whole thing had ended with Wriothesley throwing a chair across the room and Mr. Zhongli banning the both of them from his internet cafe for an entire week.
Wriothesley looked away, avoiding Ajax's gaze. "No thanks, I need to study for the upcoming exam," he replied instead. Ajax whined even more obnoxiously at his response, "C'mon I get that you're a scholarship student and all, but aren't kids like us allowed to have a bit of fun?" Ajax simpered. Wriothesley looked at his faint reflection in the window, his gaze grew a bit distant. Seeing this look on his friend's face, Ajax decided to hold back. "It's alright, we can just go together after the exam as a reward," Ajax nonchalantly suggested. In that moment, Wriothesley jerked back to reality. "Ah, I'm sorry, Ajax," he said. At this Ajax grinned, "Hehe, don't sweat it. Just help me kill that Tartaglia boss in Genshin Impact when everything blows over."
---
Tianheng Net Café was located at a small two-story building behind Chihu Highschool. It was Ajax's favorite place in the entire city and was run by his favorite person ever (besides his family of course), Mr. Zhongli.
"Mr. Zhongli!" The youthful voice of a young teenage boy proclaimed with the vigor of a Shnezhnayan lumberjack. It was accompanied by the creaking swing of a glass door framed in metal, and the tinkling of chimes that would typically alert Zhongli of the presence of a customer. Of course, Ajax himself needed no alarm. Zhongli could practically hear the boy's thundering steps as he ran towards his shop.
"Ah, Ajax. You're back." Zhongli greeted his young friend. Zhongli's eyes darted towards the other computers, checking to see if any of them were disturbed by Ajax's entrance.
Hm. Not a single person seemed bothered. Either those headsets had incredible soundproofing capabilities or his regulars had simply grown used to Ajax's boisterous entrance.
Suddenly, Ajax's grin stretched wildly and bit dangerously on his face. "Today's the day, Mr. Zhongli! Are you ready?!" He roared. At this proclamation several customers turned towards Zhongli's desk, curious of what was going on.
Zhongli dumbly stared at the devious child in front of him. "Ready? For what?" was all he could dumbly say.
Nothing prepared him for the heartbroken look on Ajax's face.
---
"TODAY WE'RE GOING TO MAKE FAK3L0RS PAY!!!" The entire café screamed in unison.
Ah. How did things come to this? Zhongli couldn't believe he had forgotten about the PvP duel invite from a week earlier. It was simply a misunderstanding that had escalated in Zhongli's opinion. Zhongli was simply following the rules and etiquette that was the norm of being a player in Genshin Impact.
("Ajax, what does 'gg' and 'noob' mean?"
"Er-- ah-- 'gg' means 'get good' and 'noob' means newbie, or something like that."
"Ah, I see. So it seems to be some form of encouragement then?"
"... Yeah, sure.")
["Why did you lie to him like that, Ajax?"
"What was I supposed to do, Wrio? I can't let Mr. Zhongli know he's being disrespected like that! He'd completely stop playing Genshin!"
"Fair enough... But I can't help but feel like this is gonna bite us in the ass."]
("Oh, Mr. Zhongli, you got a PvP invite?"
*Murmuring* "... I will make you eat your words, your feces, and your pride. You shall rue the day you were born into your wretched existence... Woah... This guy means business."
"What did you say to him, Mr. Zhongli?"
*Murmuring* "... gg noob... smol pp *WHEEZE*"
"Ajax! Are you alright??? Ajax, please calm down and breathe!!! Scaramouche call for an ambulance!!")
As these memories flowed through Zhongli's memory, everything seemed clearer now. Though it was Zhongli himself who was being slandered, Ajax was far more invested in the perceived slight that Zhongli had incurred on his person.
To quote Ajax Dmitrivich Rybakov, "No, Mr. Zhongli! We must protect your honor!" He proclaimed with such fervor a week ago that the energy had quickly infected the other regulars of Tianheng Net Café. Thus it led to Zhongli's current predicament. Perched at one of the PC cubicles with a set of gaming headphones worn on his head. Adding to his habit of wearing a salaryman's worksuit that he hadn't grown out of since his Wangsheng Funeral Parlor days, Zhongli imagines that he must make a strange sight. A middle-aged man in business wear surrounded by his customers, many of which were high schoolers like Ajax, to play a "game of the century" (as Ajax had once proclaimed) with a friendly fellow player of Genshin Impact. Well, what could possibly go wrong?
---
Morax had entered the arena, Neuvillette noted as he squinted at the screen through his anti-radiation glasses. Once again, it was tall, dark, and infuriating in the flesh -- or rather, pixel -- himself. Furina nervously peered at him from behind her enormous blue gaming chair which she usually sat on like a throne. One that Neuvillette was currently occupying.
"Neuvi? Hehehe you don't really have to do this you know," she anxiously tried to appeal to him.
Neuvillette scoffed, "If he had talked to you like that in reality, would you yourself be satisfied with being humiliated in public?"
Furina squawked, "Of course not! As if anyone would ever say that in real life!"
Neuvillette let out a deep sigh. Truly his sister was much too forgiving with the lawlessness of internet conduct. "On the internet, people cast their words carelessly as if there are no consequences to their actions. They think they can hide behind a mask, that being anonymous gives them the right to treat others unfairly. That is why we must teach him a lesson."
"But... Through a PvP battle?"
"Why not? He started it here, and we shall end it here... The good old fashioned way."
"On Genshin Impact...?"
---
In that virtual world filled with spectators both real and fictional cheered in anticipation. A small female sword-user dressed in frills and elegant blues entered the arena. Above her avatar was her username "FAK3L0RS" and a glowing blue symbol signifying her element Hydro. At the center stood her imposing opponent, a tall gentleman dressed in shades of brown and gold. He carried a most infamous spear in his hand. Vortex Vanquisher, one of the worst five star weapons in-game. Messages flooded the in-game chats.
...
[srsly?]
[He's really going to take her on with that?]
[Gg ez lmao]
...
[Morax] FAK3L0RS said (in the chat).
FAK3L0RS: [If I win, you shall apologize for slandering my good name in public.]
Morax: [Are you a roleplayer?]
FAK3L0RS: [...]
FAK3L0RS: [No. How dare you.]
Morax: [Ah... I apologize. I must have sincerely offended you somehow.]
FAK3L0RS: [Hmph. At least you are aware of your transgressions.]
Morax: [I'm truly sorry if I have hurt you. But I am simply following the etiquette of the game.]
FAK3L0RS: [Hah! That is but an excuse. It seems there is nothing else I can say to you. Let us begin.]
---
[Why do they talk like old men lol]
[Maybe they are]
[LMAO right]
---
An hour later, screams would echo across the street where Tianheng Net Café rested.
Several miles away, Neuvillette would solemnly stare at his screen in defeat. The words "You Lost" blaring in his mind like a siren.
Silently, slowly, he turned Furina's royal blue gaming chair towards her.
"Furina..."
"Yes, Neuvillette?"
"How do you make an account on Genshin Impact?”