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Cheonghyeon was happy when he did music. It was vast and deep, you can experiment with it and discover so many things with it. So many combinations and each uniquely their own. But with his family, he was forced onto a fixed route, serving and making the same recipes over and over again.
It dulled, he lead music, yet it was monotonous. Some people might love some thing to death, but there was a point where they get sick of it. Lee Cheonghyeon didn't want to get sick of it. He loved music as much as he loved the ocean, unexplored and mysterious, he should learn it, explore it, not—not repeat it till he was tired.
And then,
‘Is it wrong to expect great things from a young, talented person?’
His mind emptied, he was in disbelief. He thought; 'Doesn't this hyung trust me too much?'
His mind went to the mocking sneers of his family, contrasting deeply to the deep trusting (Cheonghyeon's not sure if he's seeing desperation or not) eyes of his eldest hyung.
So he worked, he mixed and matched, created and made, scrapped and tore until he was satisfied. Until he was sure he exceeded Iwol-hyung's expectation.
It was fun, the light returned and suddenly, it wasn't dull anymore, like the black ocean of the night to the bright sea reflecting the morning sun. A beam of vibrant light refracting to all directions not unlike a kaleidoscope. A spark lighting the way out of the darkness.
Lee Cheonghyeon had fun.
Cheonghyeon realized he was enjoying himself.
He had fun when composing for their songs, when he and Iwol-hyung lead the rest to record, when dancing to the choreography Kiyeon and Jeho-hyung made, he had fun when performing with Spark for the Sparklers.
He had fun.
And truthfully, when does Cheonghyeon ever get to have fun when with his family?
But now, Cheongyeon gets to have fun with his family. With his hyungs, with the Sparklers.
The dark clouds came back.
It wasn't until later that his senses came back.
'Everyone was bewildered—until they saw the police tape, the patrol cars, and the crowd gathered nearby.'
'Chaos erupted in the van. They couldn’t even remember how they had calmed down Choi Jeho, who was shouting to turn the car around.'
Cheonghyeon's eyes wandered in desperation, and a plea for what he doesn't know yet. The sight of blurred lights of red and blue entered, along with the muffled but loud shouts of the police. The vehicle carrying them only went farther away as the sight distanced from him to the point he no longer saw traces.
The sound of Kiyeon's rapid breathing beside him entered his ears, along with the quiet yet agitated murmurs of his hyungs.
The dark clouds storming his heart were still thundering. The grey skies came back.
And until they are sure Iwol-hyung is alright, it will continue storming them.
The sight that entered their eyes was disturbing; Iwol-hyug lied deathly still, and unflatteringly pale. The bags below his eyes were darker than before, resulting from countless sleepless nights, his lips flaky from being bitten. But they were covered by the dark red blood adorning his face, which dried long ago. Several wires and IVs connecting the back of his hand to who knows where.
'Everyone was reminded of death as they looked at Kim Iwol.'
The sight of Iwol-hyung,—pale, haggard, and near death—, blurred as wet hot waterdrops fell from Cheonghyeon's eyes, the sound of a choked cough burst from him as his knees fell.
The sniffles and muffled cries of his Jonwoo-hyung joined his.
As Iwol-opened his eyes, tired but determined, all of them immediately went to his side.
“Hyung!”
“Hyung, are you okay?”
The others instantly probed in worry.
“Did you cry?” Iwol-hyung furrowed his brows in confusion. (Cheonghyeon despairs as he glimpsed a hint of disbelief in those eyes.)
“Hyung, sniff, what did the doctor say? Are you okay now?”
“The surgery went well, why are you crying? I’m fine.” Again, Iwol-hyung was being indifferent again.
Cheonghyeon wiped his tears with trembling hands. "Do you think surgery fixes everything...?"
His voice trembled.
It was always like this, yet, why did Iwol-hyung always go alone by himself? Were they so untrustworthy that he couldn't rely even just a little bit?
Why was he carrying the sky on his shoulders alone?
Then;
“You want to include hyung’s part in the latter half?”
Cheonghyeon, shocked by Jeong Seongbin’s announcement exclaimed. Park Joowoo and Kang Kiyeon’s expressions beside him weren’t much different.
“What’s wrong? Did the conversation with hyung not go well…?”
“That’s not it.” That was the only reply Seongbin could muster.
“Yesterday, the manager hyung said that if it was too hard for us, we could withdraw from IDC.” He lead.
“Yeah…”
“I want to know what you all think. Just share your thoughts honestly.” Jeong Seongbin's earnest eyes entered their sight.
“This is the program Iwol hyung tried so hard to persuade us to join. He’s not someone who likes giving up halfway. I think we should see it through to the end.”
Everyone agreed with Kang Kiyeon’s words. Unanimously.
“Even if he’s discharged after eight weeks, hyung will still need continuous treatment. The five of us will have to handle the stage. Is everyone okay with that?”
Jeong Seongbin double-checked. The members, who had spent just as much time agonizing over it as he had last night, agreed once more.
So they resolved to lessen hyung’s burden, to do their best to ensure he could focus solely on his recovery without worrying about them.
‘It’s an important stage, so do your best. Maybe this is for the better.’
Seongbin-hyung went silent, outwardly lost in thought.
“About Iwol hyung.”
Jeong Seongbin voiced what he had been evidently pondering over for a long time.
“Don’t you think his self-esteem is abnormally low?”
Seongbin-hyung's words gave a lot for Cheonghyeon to ponder. It was ridiculous, what could be hyung insecure about? But it made a lot of sense, why Iwol-hyung is so hard on himself, as if he doesn't deserve to be treated as human. And Cheonghyeon realized; Iwol-hyung will burn himself out.
Cheonghyeon looked in Kim Iwol's direction, pale but better, sitting on the hospital bed surrounded by the members, discussing the stage and chareography and else. As if nothing happened. It disturbed Lee Cheonghyeon but the sense of normalcy somehow calmed him.
There are still storms to weather through, but, Cheonghyeon thinks, as long as they were together, they could go through anything.