Chapter Text
One of Sharon’s clearest memories was sitting against the smooth surface of the mirror at ballet class and watching Maya dance Swan Lake — a perfect miniature version of Paloma Herrera gliding across the floor. It only lasted a minute. Mrs. Long had stopped playing the piano, mouth opened wide but making no sound. Maya didn’t stop dancing until she noticed everyone looking. Sharon was seven years old, and she wanted to watch Maya dance forever.
Maya was six years old.
It took Sharon a whole week to figure out that Maya was deaf.
Maya’s voice was sometimes flat, and her tones had rose and fell at odd moments, but it reminded Sharon of the way her Dad read a Shel Silverstein book rather than a person who could not hear.
It took Sharon two more weeks to figure out that she was the only one who knew Maya was deaf. Sharon told no one. It was a secret that Sharon held like a baby bird in her palm — too fragile to let go of and too precious to let anyone else see.
Maya knew Sharon knew. There was something about the way Maya nodded when Sharon walked over to her during lunch. Sharon sat down next to Maya, who had tucked herself out of the way of the other kids, and they ate their lunch together — Sharon talking only when Maya looked at her. Sharon leaned her Howling Commando lunch bag next to Maya’s Batgirl one.
~~~
Maya wasn’t like anyone Sharon knew. Maya didn’t talk to any of the teachers, but she talked to all the ground staff at their school.
Sharon learned that the gardner’s name was Ajali. He gave Sharon a white peony flower to take home to plant in her Dad’s garden.
Maya spoke with Ajali in a language that Sharon had never even heard before.
“It’s Swahili,” Maya said. “I don’t speak it very well because I can’t find any Swahili books at the library. But Ajali is really nice and teaching me some of the grammar.”
As far as Sharon could tell, Maya spoke fluent Spanish with Camila and Luciana.
“Everyone thinks I’m the daughter of one of them,” Maya said, “I look more like them I suppose.”
Sharon didn’t know how to respond so she said nothing.
“I’m actually Cheyenne,” Maya said. “My Mom was Dominican though.”
“I think you’re actually Einstein. How smart are you Maya?” Sharon whispered.
Maya shrugged and looked away — so Sharon kept her mouth shut because the conversation was over. Maya wouldn’t see anything else Sharon had to say.
~~~
Sharon didn’t understand why none of the other kids at school saw how amazing Maya was — but part of her was guiltily glad because this meant that Sharon didn’t have to share.
Maya never invited Sharon over to her house. Maya was an orphan, a ward of a rich and distant guardian in New York City who hired a housekeeper to watch over Maya’s education in the suburb of Washington DC. (When Maya told Sharon about this, Sharon thought it was the most awful and the most interesting thing that Sharon had ever heard.)
Sharon had nothing to compare that experience to so Sharon never asked to go to Maya’s house.
Sharon lived with her doting parents, and she was surrounded by a gaggle of relatives whose familial relationship was so complicated Sharon had taken to call all the adults she meets Aunt or Uncle. “You’re like one of the freaking Kennedys,” Maya said, the first time she came over to Sharon’s house. Sharon had recently seen a photograph of Aunt Peggy with JFK so there was really nothing Sharon could say to counter that.
Maya always came over to Sharon’s house after ballet class. It was their only class together. Sharon was one year ahead of Maya in school and they didn’t see each other except in dance class and at lunch. Sharon had other friends, but none of them were like Maya — none of them could come close to Maya. A few weeks after meeting Maya, Sharon thought maybe she really only needed one friend. Her mother had furrowed her brows and mentioned to Sharon that she should try to be more social when Sharon’s group of friends became just Maya.
“I don’t think your mother likes me,” Maya said one day after catching Sharon’s Mom frowning at them while watching them assemble a giant Batman jetplane out Legos. Maya had designed it after watching an episode of Batman the Animated Series.
“She likes you,” Sharon said automatically as she picked up a dark gray 2x6 plate.
“I don’t mind that she doesn’t like me. You like me best,” Maya said. Maya was always saying things like that, stating what Maya saw in people as if they were simple facts. The sky is blue, the ducks were returning to the park in the Spring, Sharon liked Maya best.
Sharon felt blood rushing to her face.
“You’re like Bucky to my Captain America,” Sharon said after a moment.
“I don’t think I could be Bucky. I can’t sit still long enough to be a sniper,” Maya said. Sharon didn’t have a reply for that — except she knew that Maya could be anyone — anything she wanted.
~~~
Since she was five years old, Sharon wanted to be a Howling Commando or a prima ballerina for the American Ballet Theatre — but when she was nine, Sharon’s Dad borrowed Sanjuro from the library and let Sharon watch it with him.
“We should be samurais,” Sharon said afterward. She had shown the movie to Maya, who watched it with her lips slightly open the whole time (Sharon may have snuck looks to Maya every so often — to see if Maya liked it)
“I’ve always thought of myself as a ronin,” Maya said.
For the next three weeks, they watched as many samurai and ninja movies as they could find at the library, and Maya started to teach Sharon how to speak Japanese.
They were staging a mock battle with their lightsabers (Maya was pretty sure she could get them real swords, but Sharon knew her parents would ground her for life if that happened) when Aunt Peggy walked in on them.
“Bow before me, Captain America!” Maya was yelled in Japanese as she knocked the blue lightsaber from Sharon’s hand just as Aunt Peggy entered the room.
Sharon froze, all the blood in her body rush into her face.
Maya only saw Sharon’s reaction. “What’s wrong?” she asked, still in Japanese.
“I am so so sorry Aunt Peggy,” Sharon said. Because Aunt Peggy actually fought in World War II alongside Captain America—and Sharon was the worst person ever.
Aunt Peggy looked between at Sharon and Maya, and the still lit blue lightsaber on the ground. Then she was laughing so hard tears were streaming out of her eyes.
“Well, Steve and I only fought on the European front,” Aunt Peggy said when she finally stopped laughing, “And we were certainly never Jedis, but I appreciate your thought, Sharon.”
Maya had turned around, and she looked steadily at Aunt Peggy. It was the first time that Maya was over when Aunt Peggy was visiting.
“You must be, Maya,” Aunt Peggy said as she turned to Maya. “I’m so pleased to finally meet you.”
“Maya Lopez, ma’am,” Maya held out her right hand. Aunt Peggy shook it seriously. “Thank you for your service to this country.”
Aunt Peggy was looking steadily at Maya and suddenly Sharon knew… Aunt Peggy was figuring it out. Sharon felt light headed with the realization. She was elated and slightly nauseous that Aunt Peggy could figure it out in just one sentence. Aunt Peggy was hearing the slightly off intonations in Maya’s words—and she probably noticed the way Maya didn’t turn immediately when Aunt Peggy had started laughing at them.
“Thank you, Maya,” Aunt Peggy said, “I’ve heard so much about you. It would please me if you called me Aunt Peggy too.”
“Thank you, Aunt Peggy. That means a lot to me,” Maya said.
Later, when they escaped back into Sharon’s room—after Maya spent forty minutes asking Aunt Peggy about the integration of the soldiers that fought with Captain America and the range and accuracy of a Lanchester submachine gun—Maya was frowning.
“She could tell I’m deaf,” Maya said, the moment Sharon had closed the door.
“Aunt Peggy is the smartest person I know,” Sharon said—except for possibly Maya, “You shouldn’t feel bad—” But there was something about the downward turn of Maya’s mouth that made Sharon stop talking.
“Can I—” Maya started. Maya shook out her dark bangs from her eyes, and looked up at Sharon through her lashes.
Sharon waited.
“Can I feel your face when you talk? I think—I think I can do better—”
Sharon immediately reached out and placed Maya’s right hand on her cheek, “Like this?”
Maya lowered her hand toward Sharon’s jaw— “Maybe like this—Can you keep talking?”
It was weirdly intense to have Maya watch her mouth and to have her hand on Sharon’s jaw at the same time.
“Want me to read something?” Sharon asked. Maya nodded.
Sharon went to her book case and grabbed her copy of “The Collective Letters of the Howling Commandos: edited by Gabriel Jones.” They sat down together on Sharon’s bed. Sharon began to read while Maya held her face in her right hand. After Sharon got over the strange intimacy of it, it was actually really nice to be the focus of all of Maya’s attention—each muscle movement of her face and neck being diagrammed and analyzed inside Maya’s head.
~~~
Sharon got into her first physical fight when she was ten years old. Sharon was kind of surprised it hadn’t happened earlier given the way Maya marched up to people and told them off sometimes.
Maya had been keeping Sharon company while Sharon was looking at Felix Mendelssohn CDs in the records store when Maya’s entire body tensed.
“That man is beating his wife,” Maya said. Sharon looked at the direction that Maya was looking at, and saw a couple standing next to the new records section. The man had his hand on the back of the neck of the woman as couples sometimes do.
“I’m going to go punch him in the balls,” Maya said before Sharon could respond.
“Wait!” Sharon yelled but Maya was already on her way toward the couple and she had stopped looking at Sharon.
True to her words, Maya marched up to the man and punched him squarely in his crotch. Sharon hadn’t been fast enough to reach Maya—
The man howled in pain and swung wildly at Maya. The third swing caught Maya in the jaw and sent her flying into one of the records displays. Maya’s body hitting the display made a sickening crunch and Sharon’s vision narrowed in on the man.
Sharon jumped on him and punched him as hard as she could in the neck. But she was too light, and he ripped her off and threw her against something. It knocked the wind out of her, and her vision faded out for a couple of seconds.
Sharon blinked. There were a couple of adult guys who was grabbing onto the man and they seemed to have him pinned.
“Those little bitches hit me!” the man was yelling.
The woman he had been with was next to Sharon suddenly. “Are you okay?” She whispered as she helped Sharon stand up.
Sharon could see there were bruises in the shape of hands on her arms. When Sharon looked up to her face, Sharon saw that there were marks on her neck too, almost completely camouflaged by her dark skin. Sharon would have never noticed them except now she was looking for them.
Sharon looked around quickly for Maya. The cashier was helping Maya to her feet. Maya’s eyes caught Sharon’s and she nodded that she was okay--then blood flooded back into Sharon’s body so quickly that Sharon thought she might faint from the relief--
“We’ve called the police,” the cashier was saying to Maya, but Maya was looking at Sharon.
“Can I call my mom?” Sharon asked.
“Of course.”
~~~
Sharon’s Mom took the woman—ironically, her name was Maya too—to the battered women’s shelter that her Mom worked at. Sharon was grounded for an entire month. Which, all things considered, was a lot better than Sharon was expecting. The worst part of it was that she wasn’t allowed to see Maya for two weeks. Sharon had a concussion so she couldn’t even see Maya at school.
“I’m not saying you should have done nothing, I know we’ve taught you better than that,” Sharon’s mom said. “But you could have called me—fighting is never the first option.”
Sharon didn’t tell her mom that Maya started it, because Sharon was not certain her Mom would understand. And it wasn’t in Sharon not to have Maya’s back. Sharon also wasn’t sure how they would have been able to find the woman again if they hadn’t gotten into a fight and confronted the guy right there. But mostly, she was so so grateful that Maya was okay except for two fractures on her arm.
Maya was so tiny. Sharon never thought about how tiny Maya was until she saw the way Maya had been flung across that store like a rag doll.
After one week of being grounded—her Mom relented and allowed Maya to come over. (Sharon thinks that maybe her Mom actually understood how miserable Sharon felt…)
When Maya walked through their front door, Sharon held out her arms, and Maya walked straight into them and almost smacked Sharon in the face with her cast.
~~~
Maya always smelled faintly of sugar, like the caramel candy that both she and Sharon liked. Maya carried the candies with her sometimes when they went hiking, and the smell was especially strong then.
When Sharon started the eighth grade, Maya started to smell of sandalwood and mint too. It smelled kind of like Sharon’s Dad’s aftershave. It made Sharon vaguely worried, but Sharon said nothing. Then one day after Maya’s gym class, Maya caught Sharon staring at a stick of a deodorant made for guys in Maya’s bag.
“It’s the kind my Dad used to wear,” Maya said quietly. “I found it in the store the other day.”
Sharon pulled Maya into a hug and held on tight.
~~~
Maya went to New York City for a weekend every month. Progress reports, Maya called it. Maya didn’t say anything more about it, and Sharon didn’t ask. Sharon knew the importance of some secrets.
On the weekends that Maya went to New York City, Sharon usually went to visit Aunt Peggy at her house in DC.
Aunt Peggy’s personal secretary, Mrs. Jarvis, made the best ginger cookies.
When Aunt Peggy wasn’t busy saving the world from her office in the house (she was officially retired for more than ten years now), Sharon and Aunt Peggy sat in the house’s giant library and read together in silence. Sharon could read any book she wanted in Aunt Peggy’s library, and Aunt Peggy had a subscription to Jane’s International Defence Review. (Sharon’s Mom made judgy eyes when Sharon read yet another book on the Howling Commandos or the latest developments in military tactics.)
Sharon sometimes caught Aunt Peggy smiling at her on these lazy Saturday afternoons in the library. Sharon smiled back. But they never broke the silence.
A few times, when Sharon looked up from her book, she saw Aunt Peggy looking outside of the window, lost in thought. Sharon wished she was an artist so she could draw those moments. Because Aunt Peggy looked so alone—so alone and lost in her own greatness in those moments. Sharon wondered if this what people felt when they watched Winston Churchill or FDR in the war, so alone in the gravity of their responsibility.
~~~
The Christmas before Sharon turned fourteen, when Maya came back from New York City, her eyes looked red and swollen—like she had been crying for a long time.
Sharon opened her arms, and Maya walked into them. She was so much smaller than Sharon. People often thought Maya was only nine or ten years old.
“He doesn’t care about me,” Maya said, “he just wants me grow up and be married off to some man.”
Sharon pulled Maya’s right hand onto her jaw. “I care about you.” But that wasn’t quite enough, because it was more than that. “I like you best.”
~~~
Maya told her about her Dad the following day. Maya had spent the night. Usually, Maya slept on a foldout futon when she spent the night but the night before, they had fallen asleep on Sharon’s bed together. Maya’s tears were still wet on Sharon’s pillow.
“I watched a bunch of cops kill my Dad when I was five,” Maya said into Sharon’s shoulder.
Sharon stopped breathing—it felt like all of the blood in her head flooded in to the pit of her stomach—her hands tightened around Maya.
“I’m pretty certain he was doing illegal things,” Maya said.
Sharon tried to inhale, but the air didn’t seem to be going into her lungs.
“I think he was probably a pretty important criminal,” Maya laughed. It sounded incredibly wrong. “Or at least, important enough to draw in a SWAT team.”
Sharon forced herself to exhale. Maya’s face was still buried near Sharon’s shoulder—Maya’s hands were at her sides.
“I don’t think… I don’t think he was a very good man, but he was a pretty good Dad,” Maya continued. “And I can’t help thinking about it some times. I keep on thinking...if he wasn’t an Indian. If he didn’t look like—like me. Maybe if he looked more like Steve fucking Rogers, maybe I would be visiting him in some prison somewhere and not going to see his stupid partner in New York City every month.”
Sharon pulled Maya into her. As gently as she could, she placed Maya’s hand on her face.
“I’m sorry,” Sharon said, “I’m so sorry.”
Maya moved her hand and brushed away tears from Sharon’s cheek that Sharon hadn’t realized was there.
Sharon caught Maya’s hand and pulled it back to her jaw, “I’m with you. I would never let anyone hurt you. They’ll have to go through me.”
Maya laughed, but Sharon could feel her tears on Sharon’s shoulder.
~~~
Sharon had only been in Aunt Peggy’s office in the house twice as far as she could remember. She knew that Aunt Peggy didn’t keep anything classified there, but there was something completely forbidden about that room.
But halfway through her second week of tenth grade, Aunt Peggy asked her to come over to her house alone.
And when she did, Mrs. Jarvis showed Sharon to Aunt Peggy’s office.
“What’s wrong?” Sharon asked the moment she walked in and Mrs. Jarvis closed the door behind her. Sharon picked up some of Maya’s habits.
Aunt Peggy looked very old and very frail sitting in her plush office chair, and suddenly Sharon was afraid, so terribly afraid for her aunt. Aunt Peggy had to be in her seventies. Born in 1921, Sharon reminded herself. She had read it in in an biography of Steve Rogers.
“There has been a plot to kidnap you,” Aunt Peggy said. “It’s been taken care of. But nonetheless—”
“Is it because of who you are?” Sharon asked. Sharon’s Mom was an attorney for a nonprofit women’s group, and her Dad was a structural engineer.
“S.H.I.E.L.D. is still working out the details, but yes, I believe that is correct,” Aunt Peggy was looking directly at her eyes. Aunt Peggy’s face was impassive.
Sharon stood up straighter and met her aunt’s eyes, “I don’t care about them. Someday, I will make my own enemies. Until then, I’m happy to be fighting yours.”
“Oh darling,” Aunt Peggy’s eyes crinkled at the edges. She held out her arms, and Sharon walked into them.
Aunt Peggy felt small in her arms. Sharon fought back a hysterical sob and won.
“You’re old enough to make your own choices—but darling, are you sure?” Aunt Peggy asked her as she pulled back enough to study Sharon’s face.
“I still haven’t decided if I want to join up or become a prima ballerina,” Sharon said, and she saw the beginning of a smile on Aunt Peggy’s lips, “But I’ll always be your niece.”
~~~
The day before Sharon turned sixteen, someone from S.H.I.E.L.D. tried to recruit Maya for the first time.
“Hi, I’m Phil,” the man said. He was a balding man in his early thirties. He had a kind face, but there were bags under his eyes.
He had approached them while Sharon was practicing at the ballet studio. Maya had been sitting on the floor watching Sharon with a far away look on her face when the man in the suit came into the studio soundlessly. Sharon wouldn’t have known he was there except she had been sneaking looks at Maya every so often and she saw Maya’s entire posture tense.
“You’re an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Sharon said when she saw the man. She had never met Phil before but she recognized the way he held himself. Sharon walked over to Maya the same time Maya stood up.
“Yes,” Phil said. “I’m actually here to speak to Maya.”
“The answer is no,” Maya said. She was watching Phil’s face.
“You haven’t heard the question,” Phil said. There was a smile in his eyes.
“I didn’t put that virus on your stupid mainframe. It’s your own fault your security is terrible. I contained it the best I could,” Maya said.
Phil’s eyes widened. He was silent for a moment.
“You didn’t know about the virus,” Maya blanched. “What’s your question—”
“I’m here to offer you a job,” Phil said.
“No,” Maya said. There was something in the Maya’s voice that made Sharon cold. A finality in it that cut through the air like a physical blade.
Phil looked at Sharon quickly, then back at Maya. Sharon hadn’t realized until he looked at her, but Sharon had shifted closer to Maya. She was almost physically blocking Maya from Phil.
“It’s an open offer,” Phil said. “I hope you change your mind some day--”
“What got your attention?” Maya cut Phil off. Maya almost never cut people off.
“The two million dollars that moved from the national committee of the NRA to the Southern Poverty Law Center,” Phil said.
“It won’t happen again,” Maya said. And Sharon knew Maya meant she was not going to get caught again, not that she going to stop.
Phil looked at Maya and then back at Sharon—then he smiled again, with his whole face.
“Have a good day, ladies,” Phil said as he left the studio as quietly as he entered.
Sharon turned back to Maya.
Maya looked at Sharon’s mouth, as if she was waiting for Sharon to ask her about the hacking. But Sharon didn’t. Sharon wrapped her arm around Maya’s shoulders.
“I’m with you no matter what,” Sharon said simply as she met Maya’s eyes. Maya nodded.
~~~
Almost a month after she got the notice, Sharon still wasn’t sure if she was nervous or excited about her an audition with the American Ballet Threatre Studio Company.
“When you start you’d only be seventeen, you’d be one of their younger dancers,” her Dad had said. He seemed to think that Sharon was guaranteed a spot, but Sharon heard the hesitation in his voice. Sharon’s Mom, on the other hand, was beside herself with happiness. Sharon knew it wasn’t because her Mom cared at all about Sharon being a ballet dancer—it was because of what it meant Sharon wouldn’t be doing.
“They’d be stupid not to take you,” Maya said. Maya would be accepting an internship with Stark Industries if Sharon decided to move to New York City. Maya had assured Sharon that she would not be going into the “family business” if she moved back to New York City. Sharon still wasn’t sure what the “family business” actually was and she still didn’t ask.
Maya also wrote the music accompaniment to Sharon’s choreographed dance.
Maya had stopped going to dance classes after she turned ten. Maya never said, but Sharon knew it was because Maya was too good. Maya could replicate any ballet performance in the world after watching it just once; it called too much attention to her.
“I’m too small and too brown to be a ballerina anyway,” Maya had said instead.
“I wish you didn’t have to hide how extraordinary you are,” Sharon said, after Maya had turned her head to look at the sheet music she had written out.
Sharon had originally picked out music from Minkus’ Don Quixote to dance to but Maya saw the beginning stages of her choreography and rewrote the music completely. “It’s just math, really,” Maya had said. “Really elegant and pretty math to go with your movements.”
“Want to hear a variation I came up with last night and see how you like it?” Maya asked when Sharon sat down on the piano bench with her.
“They are going to wonder where my music came from—” Sharon started.
“I’ll post it on the internet a week before you go in for your audition,” Maya said. “It’ll be like open source code.”
Then Maya turned away from her and began to play. Sharon watched Maya’s long elegant fingers touching the keys and wondered what it was like to never hear the feedback of the music that was pouring out of the old piano.
Sharon was becoming obsessed with watching Maya’s long fingers: they should look out of place on Maya’s petite frame, but they were startlingly beautiful. Maya could reach two keys past an octave, and her hands moved acrossed the piano like the first time Sharon watched Maya dance.
“You’re amazing,” Sharon said, as the music began to crescendo. “I wish I could put you in my pocket and keep you with me always—”
“You know I can tell you’re talking even when I can’t tell what you are saying because I’m not looking at your mouth, right?” Maya said as she stopped playing. Her eyes were smiling as she turned to Sharon. “You can just tell me, you know. Whatever you want to say…”
Sharon watched Maya’s dark eyes drop to her mouth and suddenly she wished Maya didn’t have to watch her lips to see what she was saying.
“You’re amazing,” Sharon said slowly. “You’re the most amazing person I know—”
“More amazing than Captain America?” Maya’s smile reached her mouth. “More amazing than the Howling Commandos in their six month campaign against nine Hydra bases between ‘43 and ‘44?”
“You’re also kind of jerk,” Sharon laughed, but she was watching Maya’s mouth when Sharon’s emergency cellular phone rung-
Sharon and Maya jerked apart from the bench. Sharon ran to her gym bag and picked up the call.
“It’s Aunt Peggy...” Her mom was crying.
~~~
Sharon had firmly turned down Maya’s offer to come with her to the hospital even though she wanted nothing more than to have Maya hold her hands, but Sharon understood Aunt Peggy’s organization well enough to know that they wouldn’t let Maya anywhere near Aunt Peggy when there had been an assassination attempt.
When the car service dropped Sharon off at the hospital in DC, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent greeted Sharon and showed her to a waiting room where her parents were already sitting.
“They won’t let us see her,” her Dad said as he stood up and grabbed Sharon in a bear hug.
Sharon’s Mom was on the telephone. “Yes, I’ve spoken with your fucking attorney. We’re her only family in a 100 mile radius and we demand— Well fuck you!”
Sharon’s Mom hung up the phone and looked at Sharon. Her mom’s eyes were red.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” Sharon’s Mom said. Her voice sounded hoarse. Her Mom almost never swore.
“Aunt Peggy’s kids are on their way, but I don’t think they are letting any of us see her until the analgesic has completely left her system,” Sharon’s Dad said.
“How is she? What happened?” Sharon asked. Sharon was surprised how calm she sounded. But she was unsurprised that S.H.I.E.L.D. refused to let anyone near Aunt Peggy when she may be mentally compromised. Aunt Peggy knew too many secrets.
For a moment, Sharon missed Mrs. Jarvis—who had passed away less than a year ago—so much it made her heart physically ache. Mrs. Jarvis would have found a way to let them into Aunt Peggy’s room.
“She’s in the ICU but she’s stable. They said someone sent three assassins,” Sharon’s Mom said, “I think they were fucking ninjas—” Mom clasp her hand over own mouth and let out a sob.
“They told us the assassins are all dead,” Sharon’s Dad said as he captured her Mom into a hug. “I think Aunt Peggy shot them all before her security detail was even in the room. One of the assassins shot Aunt Peggy in the shoulder with her own gun during the struggle.”
“Who’s the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in charge here?” Sharon asked.
Her Mom and Dad both looked at her with widened eyes.
“There’s a guy in a leather trench coat with an eye patch,” her Mom said after a moment. “The way he’s been acting, he’s either in charge, or he’s a pirate. But Sharon—now isn’t the best time—” There must be something in Sharon’s face because her mom stopped talking with an almost audible click and suddenly tears were pouring out freely from her eyes. “Oh honey—” Sharon’s Mom hugged her fiercely.
Sharon let her Mom hug her and waited until her Mom’s sobs stopped.
“I will be back in a few minutes,” Sharon said. Her eyes were dry.
Sharon found the guy that her Mom had described not far outside of Aunt Peggy’s room in the ICU. She introduced herself. That was the first time she met Nick Fury.
~~~
Sharon had her first fight with Maya when Sharon told Maya her decision to enlist. They were in Sharon’s room when Sharon told her.
“They’re a fucking spy organization that spies on everyone,” Maya said. She had gotten up from where she was sitting on Sharon’s bed, and was rapidly pacing the room. Sharon waited until Maya collected herself enough to look at Sharon again before she spoke.
“They also protect people,” Sharon said. “They’ve protected me—”
“I’ve protected you!” Maya yelled. “They would have gotten you kidnapped two years ago when that stupid—” Maya’s mouth shut suddenly.
“You knew,” Sharon said, the realization hitting her at once. “You were the one that told them about the kidnapping attempt. It was because of me! That’s why you hacked S.H.I.E.L.D.!”
“Because they’re bad spies! They’re terrible at their job,” Maya said, throwing her hands in the air.
“Aunt Peggy founded S.H.I.E.L.D. and she—”
“This isn’t her organization anymore,” Maya cut her off.
“Yes, it is,” Sharon said softly, thinking about the three S.H.I.E.L.D. lawyers that her mom was trying to strangle, and the half a dozen S.H.I.E.L.D. agents guarding Aunt Peggy’s room.
Maya must have seen it on her face, because she stopped moving at once, and her face crumpled. It made Sharon hurt to see it.
Sharon walked slowly to Maya and placed both of her hands on Maya’s heart shaped face.
“This is my decision,” Sharon said. Sharon felt the fight slowly drain out of Maya. Maya tilted their foreheads together and put her hands on Sharon’s face too.
“I love you,” Maya said. “I don’t want them to have you.”
“I know,” Sharon said. “But how else am I supposed to be the change I wish to see in the world?”
“Don’t you dare quote Ghandi at me,” Maya said. Sharon felt smile and the tears on Maya’s face.
~~~
When Sharon was officially sworn in as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, she was nineteen years old. At her graduation Aunt Peggy presented Sharon with her husband’s old S.H.I.E.L.D. badge—lucky number 13. As the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D., Aunt Peggy had never gotten an official badge or been assigned a badge number.
Sharon had never met Aunt Peggy's’ husband: he had passed away more than a decade before Sharon was born. But Sharon knew what this meant to Aunt Peggy. None of Aunt Peggy’s children or grandchildren had enlisted.
“Thank you,’ Sharon said as she hugged Aunt Peggy. If both of them were crying, neither of them acknowledged it.
“I also got you a custom made thigh holster,” Aunt Peggy told her. “Despite all the progress over the years, the standard issued one is still made for a man.” Sharon laughed through her tears and hugged her aunt tighter.
Maya had also gotten a present for Sharon. It was a framed photograph of the Howling Commandos with Aunt Peggy in her twenties, but Sharon and Maya had been added into the shot. Sharon and Maya were both marching behind Captain America. It was done so seamlessly that Sharon almost believed they were there.
“You know how I feel about S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Maya said, “But I love you and I respect your choice. And even though I’m not with S.H.I.E.L.D., I’m with you.”
Maya hugged her, and reached up until her right hand was pressed lightly on Sharon’s jaw.
“Thank you,” Sharon said.
~~~
Sharon joined S.H.I.E.L.D. Special Services after five years on the job. Her first assignment had been an overt security detail for a diplomat from Australia who had been targeted by Australia’s own Secret Service. Her second assignment was the daughter and granddaughter of the Secretary of State.
The best and the worst part of the assignment was Alexandria, named for her grandfather. At four months, Alexandria was very willful in what she wanted. And what she wanted was not to fall asleep.
Sharon had texted Maya for help out of desperation, and received a YouTube video on baby wearing in return.
Except the videos was full of lies. Sharon had strapped Alexandria to her chest in the baby carrier and had spent the last thirty minutes bouncing her. In response, Alexandria wiggled with various degree of annoyance and every so often she gave Sharon a look of quiet disapproval.
“Oh gosh, Sharon,” Roxanna laughed as she walked into the nursery. “You’re trying out that baby carrier? Thank you! I can take over.”
“No, it’s okay. That’s what I’m here for,” Sharon said.
“Sharon, seriously, I don’t care what my Dad or Director Fury told you, you don’t have to live your cover,” Roxanna helped to unstrap the baby carrier from Sharon as she pulled Alexandria into her arms. “Although it does save me the trouble of having to find a nanny that meets Dad’s safety requirements.”
“Want me to get your dinner started?” Sharon asked. “Before Director Fury knew you were pregnant, I had to take a five weeks course at a culinary school for my original cover.” Sharon didn’t mention that Maya routinely gagged eating Sharon’s failures the first four weeks of instruction.
“Yes, that would be wonderful,” Roxanna said gratefully as they both walked into the living room. Roxanna was holding Alexandria to her chest. “How many courses did you have to take for the new role?”
“None actually,” Sharon opened the drawer and got out the cutting board. “I actually trained as a RN. And I have lots of younger cousins.”
“Well, thank goodness for that. I’d hate to see what kind of parenting or babysitting classes S.H.I.E.L.D. would have come up with,” Roxanna said.
“Lesson one, do not hide a weapon inside the diaper not matter how operationally necessary you think it might be,” Sharon said and they both laughed.
After a moment, Sharon asked, “How was your conference call with the Argentine Minister Counselor?” Sharon took out some garlic and began peeling them methodically with a knife—the way Maya taught her after she had finally given up on Sharon’s classes teaching her how to do it.
“He more impressed by my lineage than my Spanish and my diplomatic skills--” Roxanna was rocking Alexandra gently when Sharon’s S.H.I.E.L.D. phone rang.
Roxanna looked startled. It was the first time Sharon’s S.H.I.E.L.D. phone had rang.
“Agent 13,” Sharon picked up.
“There is currently an extraterrestrial attack in New York City. You’re to remain in your current post until further instructions.”
“Yes, sir,” Sharon said mechanically. “Is it a covert or an open attack?”
“You can turn on the TV and get about as much intelligence as we have—there’ll probably be no further instructions from us until it’s over,” Agent Yardley said.
“Understood.” Sharon hung up the phone and looked up at Roxanna. “There is an alien attack in New York City. We should turn on the TV.”
Roxanna visibly paled. Her hands tightened around Alexandria.
Sharon turned on the TV in the living room. On CNN they were showing a shaky cell phone camera recordings of robot looking things shooting energy weapons at the civilian population of New York City. Sharon checked her regular phone. There was no message from Maya.
Roxanna sunk down heavily on the sofa, clinging on to Alexandra. “My Dad is at the United Nations. It looks like the attack isn’t that far from there.”
“Agent Weinstein will get him out,” Sharon said. She put her hand on Roxanna’s shoulders and gently squeezed. “Agent Weinstein grew up on the Upper West Side. He knows Manhattan like no one else.”
Roxanna looked up at Sharon. “Your friend—isn’t your friend doing work at the new Stark Tower?”
Sharon fought the urge to punch the nearest wall. “She’ll be alright. She’s very resourceful.”
Then in silence, Roxanna and Sharon held their vigil watching the news.
Sharon wasn’t sure how much time had past when Roxanna spoke again. Alexandra had drifted off to sleep.
“You know, people always tell me what a great man my father is,” Roxanna spoke softly. “That may be true, but he was never a very good father. I mean, you’ve been with me almost 11 months, and he’s never even stopped by the house. He’s seen Alexandria a total of three times, and each time it was at one of his political events— I always felt like I was just a convenient prop for him—but still—still I think he’s been trying...“
Sharon reached out and touched Roxanna’s hand. “He’ll be okay. It looks like Iron Man and his friends have set up a perimeter to hold back the aliens.”
In the amateur videos of the attack, Sharon thought she saw the outline of someone dressed like Captain America coordinating the superheros’ efforts to fend off the aliens—Sharon hadn’t been officially briefed on the return of Captain America, but she had heard the rumors...
Please, please, Sharon prayed at her childhood hero as she watched footage of the collapse of Stark logo from the top of the tower, please save Maya.
~~~
Agent Weinstein called Sharon about twelve minutes before the Battle of New York was declared over by the news.
“Tell Roxanna he’s okay,” Agent Weinstein said. “He’s on his way back to DC right now. He’ll be at Roxanna’s house in about 2 hours.”
“I will, thank you,” Sharon said. Then she asked, “I know we’re overwhelmed right now, but do you think anyone could come and relieve me? I’d like to join the search and rescue on the ground as soon as possible.” There still hasn’t been any message from Maya.
“Agent Cheung is already on his way,” Agent Weinstein said and ended the call.
“He’s okay. The Secretary will be here in about 2 hours,” Sharon told Roxanna. “Agent Weinstein got him out.”
Roxanna sagged in relief. Alexandria was still asleep in her arms.
“Do you think you’ll be alright if I leave you with Agent Cheung—”
“Go. I know you have to wait until Robert gets here, but go the moment he gets here. Go find your friend,” Roxanna said.
Sharon nodded gratefully.
~~~
It was approximately two hours after the attack when Sharon finally received a text message from Maya from an unfamiliar number.
I’m okay. I broke my arm and maybe three ribs. I’m at Medical at Stark Tower. Do what you need to do first--then come and find me. I’m good. Also, Captain America is a dick.
Sharon laughed so hard at the message she had tears rolling down her cheeks.
~~~
“Captain America is a dick,” Maya was enthusiastically digging into the curry that Sharon had picked up for her on the way to Stark Tower. It was only sixteen hours after the Battle of New York, but it seemed like Maya’s favorite Thai restaurant was already going back to business as usual. There were bruises blossoming on the left side of Maya’s face, and her arm was in a sling. But Sharon had read Maya’s chart three times and assured herself that Maya was okay.
“After he threw his stupid shield over my head he told me to duck. AFTER,” Maya said. Maya told her that Captain America had taken out over a dozen aliens that were converging on the Stark R&D employees that Maya had taken to evacuate by herself. Sharon was certain that there were parts of the story that Maya didn’t tell her—like how Maya broke so many bones— but Sharon didn’t press.
“He might have yelled at you to duck and you just didn’t see,” Sharon offered, “—or maybe he could tell how good you are and he knew you could feel the thing coming.” Sharon was resisting the urge to crawl into Stark Industries’ medical cot with Maya. They could both easily fit on it together.
“He shouldn’t assume things about people,” Maya said.
Maya ate several pieces of tofu from her plate more slowly. Then she said, “S.H.I.E.L.D. sent Clint Barton to try to recruit me again while I’ve been stuck at medical,” Maya said. “I guess they did some soul searching, and because of my work with Stark Industries, I’m back on their radar.”
“Did you try to out snark Hawkeye?” Sharon asked. She only knew him by reputation, but it was quite a reputation. “Did you give him your dissertation on the all the failings of big government?”
“You think you’re so funny,” Maya frowned at her. Sharon smiled.
“I actually like Barton. I think they sent him because they were trying to distract him from—you know.” Maya went back to her food, “But Barton figured it out. I think he used to be deaf too. In any case, he really doesn’t seem the type to work for Big Brother.”
“Because Stark Industries is so much better,” Sharon kept smiling. She liked winding Maya up. It was the same familiar conversation they have had over and over again the past seven years. She was giving in to her urge to be closer though, and she sat down directly on Maya’s cot.
“Tony Stark is just as paranoid as S.H.I.E.L.D., but Potts is the CEO. And they leave the R&D people alone for the most part. We get to play and break things,” Maya said.
Sharon eyed Maya’s overlarge T-shirt, which said “Let’s break some physics” in the iconic Stark typeface.
“As long as you’re happy,” Sharon said. Maya looked up from Sharon’s mouth and met her eyes. Sharon could see Maya’s eyes soften. Maya put her food down on the table by her cot. Slowly, Maya pulled their heads together as she put her left hand on Sharon’s cheek.
“I am happy here. But whatever toy I can come up with won’t matter at all if a nuclear bomb goes off in the middle of Manhattan,” Maya said. They were close enough that she would only be able to feel Sharon’s reply. “I accepted Barton’s offer.”
“So you can infiltrate Big Brother yourself, and dismantle it from the inside?” Sharon asked.
Maya laughed, a puff of curry smelling breath.
“A nuclear bomb on the island of Manhattan, Sharon,” Maya said. “Aunt Peggy would be trying to dismantle S.H.I.E.L.D. herself if she knew.”
Sharon lightly headbutted Maya, but she was just so so grateful for this moment.
They held on to each other.
~~~
Two months after Battle of New York, Roxanna was offered the position of Deputy Ambassador to Spain. Two weeks after that, Aunt Peggy had a stroke and was taken to a S.H.I.E.L.D. recovery facility. For the first two weeks of Aunt Peggy’s recovery, Sharon was the only family member allowed to visit her.
Sharon requested and received a transfer to S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters-- to provide as needed protection for dignitaries that happened to be in DC.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Sharon said, the first day Maya gets officially sworn in at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ and gets assigned the largest office on the thirty-second floor.
“Because I have my own office?” Maya asked as she unpacked one box of her toys in her new office. “I guess they really do want me to work for them-- this is a pretty swanky office-- “
Sharon shook her head and smiled.
“What’s with the glasses?” Sharon asked when Maya looked back up at her again. The glasses were large and black framed. They made Maya look even younger than usual.
“Something I came up with at Stark Industries,” Maya said. She took them off and handed them to Sharon. “Try them on.”
Sharon shook her hair out from behind her ears and put on the glasses.
“Bottom left corner--” Maya said, and Sharon could see bottom left corner displayed in tiny Helvetica font on the glasses as soon as Maya spoke the words.
“Don’t think Barton told anyone about me,” Maya said. “Figure this was easier than trying to explain-- what I am. This should pick up most of the speech that’s around me in real time. It only recognizes speech though, it won’t do shit if someone tosses a shield at my head.”
“You can feel the air displacement,” Sharon said. She gave the glasses back to Maya.
“I have it linked up to my assigned headset too,” Maya put her disguise back on. “I should be able to help out on actual field assignments too.”
“What are they expecting you to do?” Sharon asked.
“Network security,” Maya smiled. “Also, whatever side jobs that interests me. Barton actually lent me a new toy,” Maya said. “He wants me to do some tests on the Captain America shield. Howard Stark did some tests way back when, but not on modern building material or construction. And since that thing doesn’t actually obey any known laws of physics, Barton wants me to run some numbers for him so we can come up with some realistic projections of what the shield will do when it bounces against or into various materials, then come up with countermeasures.”
“Countermeasures?” Sharon asked--sharper than she meant to.
“Relax,” Maya laughed. “He’s not Batman. He’s not carrying kryptonite to take down his teammates—though I bet Ironman has backup plans—maybe Captain America does too—”
“Maya!”
“What?” Maya blinks innocently at her, but then holds up her hand in surrender, “Barton actually wants to help the guy out: to prevent things like Rogers throwing the shield at a building, and destroying the building’s structural integrity. Can you imagine the paperwork if Captain America accidentally destroyed a city block?” Maya said. “It’s a milk run. Besides, Rogers agreed to it.”
Sharon watched Maya unpack the rest of the things in her box, wondering if they would run into Captain America in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s HQ— and if Maya would sass Captain America. The thought made her smile so wide her face ached.
~~~
In her almost ten years as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Sharon had been in Nick Fury’s office four times. It reminded her strongly of getting called into the principal’s office (for fighting—Sharon always had Maya’s back).
As Sharon waited for Fury to speak, Sharon thought for a hysterical moment maybe she was called in to the Director’s office because Maya had been fighting.
“Agent 13,” Fury said. “I’d like to offer you a new assignment. Fully covert.”
Sharon waited.
“Captain Rogers has relocated himself to the areas north of Dupont Circle,” Fury said. “He has turned down any S.H.I.E.L.D. protection.”
Sharon immediately understood the assignment.
“With all due respect, sir, isn’t that his choice?” Sharon asked. She wondered what Aunt Peggy would think of this. She wondered what Maya would think of all of this.
“Captain Rogers has shown a distinct lack of self preservation,” Director Fury said. “The man jumped out of an airplane last week without a parachute—and he had a choice then too. There were plenty of parachutes.”
Director Fury narrowed his eyes slightly. “There has been three credible threats against him in the past two months. I have confirmed reports of the Chinese and the Russians throwing honeypots at him left and right. And instead of reporting these very attractive young women— and in one case, a young man—Captain Rogers has been very politely telling them no. I’m not waiting for them to start throwing grenades at him before we set up countermeasures.”
“Yes, sir,” Sharon said. She let her face fall back to her neutral expression. “When does the assignment start?”
“Tomorrow. Captain Rogers moved in about two weeks ago. Logistics Unit 3 has already been through on his apartment. Analyst Lopez is the lead on the op, and she will be the primary on the surveillance support. She has your background package in her office.”
“Analyst Lopez?” Sharon fought to keep her face neutral but judging from Fury’s raised eyebrow, she was probably not very successful. Not against Nick Fury anyway.
“Is that going to be a problem?” Fury asked.
“No, sir.” Sharon said.
“Good,” Fury said. His tone clearly dismissing her from his office.
“Sir,” Sharon said as she left the Director’s office to marched directly to Maya’s office.
“We’re conducting surveillance on Captain America for his own protection now?” Sharon asked before Maya turned around to greet her. Maya had her glasses on, so Sharon knew Maya could see her words.
“Not my call,” Maya said. “This is why I’m here, remember? To make sure Big Brother doesn’t go too ape shit?” Maya was typing furiously at one of her three computers. “Your file is on my desk. I made you a nurse, since you actually went through the training. Also gives you an excuse to visit Aunt Peggy’s new facility without too much fuss. If anyone checks, you’re on the books do rotations there on Fridays. So you know, visit on Fridays.”
“Maya, look at me,” Sharon said softly.
Maya looked away from the computer and looked up at Sharon’s mouth. Maya’s bangs were hanging loosely over her eyes. She was chewing absentmindedly on her lower lip.
“I’m trying, Sharon,” Maya said after a moment. “That’s why I made myself the lead on this so I can try to respect the guy’s privacy at least a little bit. No actual recording, all live monitoring, and you—you and I are the only checks on how invasive this thing gets.”
“Aunt Peggy would be furious if she knew,” Sharon said. “He deserves better than this—”
“Yeah, well, you know much I love stomping on people’s civil liberties—even when they throw massively destructive shields at my head,” Maya said. “But we both know how much S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t care about the Fourth Amendment or the Constitution or any thing.”
“You dated one defense attorney,” Sharon laughed.
“You know how I am,” Maya said. She had taken off her glasses and was looking steadily at Sharon.
“Yeah, I do,” Sharon said. Slowly she walked over Maya and brushed Maya’s bangs away from her eyes. For a long time, they just looked at each other in silence.
Then Sharon moved away, and sat down on the visitor’s chair at Maya’s desk. She reached over to the desk and opened up her background file. Out of the corner of her eye, Sharon saw Maya putting her glasses back on and going back to one of her computers.
“Is there audio surveillance on his apartment right now?” Sharon asked as she scanned her file.
“Yeah, audio inside his apartment. Audio and video at the entrance of his apartment, and on the rooftop with the sightline into his window. Jones and Palmer and I split the shifts so it’s all live and we keep no recordings,” Maya said. She added after a moment, “Rogers doesn’t know how lucky he is that I’m on all the night shift.”
“Oh?” Sharon looked up. There was something smug in Maya’s voice.
“I won’t hear him when he’s most likely to be jerking off,” Maya said. She wasn’t looking at Sharon, but there was a big smile on her face.
“Maya!”
Maya turned to her, her grin widened. “I had to write like eight hours of code for it so I didn’t start seeings a bunch of Os and As out of the corner of my eye when he was feeling frisky.”
Sharon was startled into laughter. She had never to sit on an audio surveillance— never thought about this sort of thing before.
Maya kept talking, “I actually needed to figure out what sex sounds like, by himself or with another person, so I can get a visual feedback and know the difference between when he’s being choked to death versus when he’s just having trouble catching his breath because he’s having too much fun. Did you know how I had to figure out the difference? I had to map out the audio signatures of porn. I have watched so much porn on behalf of the dignity of Captain America—”
“Stop! Stop! Uncle!” Sharon was laughing so hard there were tears coming out of his eyes.
“Of course, there is no way to really test it without asking Rogers to demonstrate the difference between the good sounds and the bad sounds,” Maya continued, showing little regard for Sharon’s ability to breathe. “But you know, I made it. So it probably works.”
~~~
Sharon was twenty-eight years old the first time she met Steve Rogers. He blushed slightly when he introduced himself to her and offered to help her move in. Sharon turned him down and she wondered if he would have been able to spot all the places she hid her weapons.
“He’s the most awkward human being ever,” Maya said to her when Sharon was checking in at Maya’s office. “I’m glad I couldn’t actually hear him. It was painful to read.”
“I think he likes me,” Sharon said, unable to keep herself from smiling. She hadn’t expected Captain America to blush when he met her. She was a fangirl who literally had a Howling Commandos lunch box when she was seven. Sharon had been honestly worried she was going to embarrass herself and dishonor her family when she finally met Captain America. Instead, Steve was unexpectedly sweet and awkward, and Sharon got to be the cool one.
“Yeah, he definitely likes you,” Maya agreed, but she sounded pissed off by it. “He’s not that awkward with the females he meets at HQ. He practically tries to parent me when he sees me. He thinks I’m a teenager. And the worst of it is that if I punched him, I would only break my hand. I did the math, and I can’t make up the lack of mass with the amount of acceleration I can pick up to hit him hard enough for him to even feel it—”
“You met him here?” Sharon asked, trying to shift the conversation.
“Yeah, he doesn’t remember me from the time he almost decapitated me in New York City. But Agent Romanoff introduced us here two weeks ago and he has seen me walking around here a couple of times. He asked Romanoff if S.H.I.E.L.D. recruited teenagers after he met me. Barton told me. He thought it was hilarious,” Maya said. “I mean, we both know that S.H.I.E.L.D. does recruit teenagers—but geez, you’d think he would be more sensitive to someone with a small stature. What, five years at six feet two, and all of sudden he forgets what it’s like to be five feet nothing?”
Sharon looked at Maya again. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun, but her bangs were flung about her eyes. Maya’s black eyeliner highlighted the depth of her eyes, her dark rimmed glasses punctuating the prominence and sharpness of her cheekbones, deep red lipstick showed off the fullness of her lips.
Sharon took a breath. Maya looked ethereal and effortlessly feminine: only someone who’s barely looked at women in 90 years would possibly not to be moved by her beauty.
“Is that why you started wearing makeup?” Sharon asked after a moment to try to break the silence. She had been staring intently at Maya’s face.
“No, this is war paint, I’m Cheyenne,” Maya said with a straight face.
And just like that, the tension broke, and Sharon laughed. “You’re a jerk,” Sharon said.
~~~
Sharon requested every other Fridays off so she could visits Aunt Peggy like Maya suggested.
Mostly she and Aunt Peggy still read together. Aunt Peggy had finally started to wear reading glasses: large ones with dark rims that looked like the ones that Clark Kent always wore. Instead of making her looking matronly, they made Aunt Peggy look more like the superhero she always was.
Sometimes, Sharon caught Aunt Peggy looking at her from her book. Their eyes would meet, and Aunt Peggy would smile knowingly. And Sharon was thirteen years old again, completely in awe of her aunt.
~~~
Sharon tried to do all of her paperwork at S.H.I.E.L.D. when Steve went on runs around the Capitol Mall.
When Sharon went to Maya’s office, Maya wasn’t there. One of the other analysts suggested that Sharon go check the twelfth floor surveillance room.
Maya was not there either, but Forest and Siddiqui were. They were watching Steve run in a very tight compression shirt.
“I don’t understand how that shirt doesn’t rip from the seams,” Forest was saying.
“It’s pretty spectacular,” Siddiqui said.
Sharon coughed.
“Hey Sharon,” Siddiqui said. “Want to join us?”
“Agent 13,” Forest sat up straighter.
“Does he always run in shirts that tight?” Sharon asked. Because Sharon supposedly worked a late shift at the hospital, she made sure she never ran into Steve in the mornings. She hadn’t actually seen how Steve dressed when he went running.
“Yeah. Since he moved to Dupont Circle, his shirts got a lot tighter. I’m not complaining though,” Siddiqui said. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Sharon.
“Don’t think he’s gay though. Well… he hasn’t been responding to any of the dudes that constantly flirt with him anyway,” Forest said. “One of them—your neighbor from 5C—actually corned him with a kiss last week.”
“Really?” Sharon said. Brian of 5C was a very attractive man.
“We thought he might freak out or something,” Siddiqui said. “Maya was ready to call in some reinforcement in case he—well—really freaked out. But he was nice about it. We didn’t have audio in that part of the building so I don’t know what he said—but it looked like he let the guy down easy.”
A thought flashed through Sharon’s head that was completely ridiculous. But possible. Maybe even likely. “Have you guys seen Maya?”
“I think she went to get food,” Siddiqui said. “She should be back in her office in a few.”
“Okay, thanks,” Sharon said and went back to Maya’s office to wait for her.
“Did you get him the apartment in Dupont Circle?” Sharon asked the moment Maya came back in with a bag that smelled like a burrito.
Maya looked slightly sheepish. “Well, he chose it. But I may have helped to direct his searches that way. Look, it’s one of the best places to defend in a crunch. The sightlines into the apartment are very manageable—”
“So it wasn’t because you wanted him to live at one of the hubs of the LBGT scene in DC?” Sharon asked. She had her answer when Maya’s mouth pulled into an unhappy line. Sharon moved closer to Maya, “Were you trying to get him have homophobic freakout?”
“No—” Maya said, but then she shook her head.
Sharon waited.
“Maybe a little,”
“Maya!”
“I didn’t want him to beat anyone up or commit a hate crime or something. I just wondered how he’d react to a guy hitting on him. No need to worry though, he is the perfect fuckin’ American hero—” Maya wasn’t meeting Sharon’s eyes.
“Maya—talk to me, what’s going on?”
Maya looked at her. She took off her glasses and looked at Sharon’s mouth.
Slowly, Maya put down her burrito on her desk and sat down on her chair. Then she looked away as she began to talk, “When we were growing up I always thought all those stories about him were bullshit. A poster child of Aryan purity fighting Hitler, looking out for the little guys. I didn’t buy any of it… the perfect white man saving all the oppressed—it all seemed like propaganda, worse than the Soviets. Except now I actually know him. Better than I should. Better than he deserves probably. And I know he fucking believes in his own image—”
Maya paused and took a deep breath, “Whatever he was before serum, he’s living now as that guy the war movies made him out to be. And I want to hate him except he literally walks little old ladies across the street. He doesn’t get mad when dudes kiss him. And he blushes when he talks to you and sneaks looks at your butt. And I just—I just want to punch him in the face,” Maya said. Maya’s voice got quieter as she talked.
Sharon thought that maybe she understood. And the realization made her feel light headed.
“Hey,” Sharon walked up to Maya, and placed Maya’s hand on her jaw when Maya still didn’t look at her.
“You know I still like you best,” Sharon said.
Maya didn’t say anything. But she finally looked up at Sharon.
“I like you best,” Sharon said again.
After a moment, Sharon felt the tension go out of Maya’s shoulders. Sharon stood there a while longer, then she said, “But you have to tell me how you got him to wear those super tight shirts.”
Maya laughed, “I’m not that good.”
A pause.
“Or am I? You may never know.”