Work Text:
The fade was silent, the deafening kind that threatened to drive someone to the brink. Every sound was magnified, the crumbling of stone from the floating towers ahead, or the dulled footsteps as Solas walked laps around the grey expanse.
He stalked the dull plains like a spectre, eyebrows pulled together as he glared out at the endless expanse around him. His initial anger had long since cooled, leaving him to simmer in his agitation instead. He had been so close to undoing the worst mistake of his life, only for an incompetent child to ruin everything.
Desdemona Ingellvar had not been what he expected, nor could he have imagined Relana choosing her of all people to trust with the task of finding him. Perhaps that had been the real reason, a wild risk to gain a step closer to him. Or maybe she was just a tag-along that Varric had collected. Either way, it mattered not. She had ruined everything, earning the ire of the Dread Wolf, and if Solas still knew Relana, Desdemona had earned her ire as well.
His heart cracked at the thought of her, something he had tried his best to avoid while trapped in a prison of his own making. Yet his heart longed for it's other half; it had been far too long since he had last seen her within the fade or the waking world, and now he had no idea how long it would be until he could once more. He wondered if Varric and Desdemona were aware of their monthly meetings, how they would visit each other physically whenever they got the chance; incapable of staying away even with duty standing between them. The singular rule they had agreed upon keeping their lips chained together, unable to bend or break on the journey that threatened to keep them apart.
He had berated himself almost a lifetime ago, when his treacherous heart began to beat only for her. He had called himself weak, unable to distance himself from the love she gave willingly; unconditionally. He had never been more wrong, he watched her transform from a quiet mage into a benevolent leader, accepting blow after blow and rising again and again. He watched as her love made her strong, doing all that she could so that she could save him from his path.
If only she could, he thought as he watched a strange fog creep across the void. It wrapped itself around him, blocking the rest of the prison from sight, and Solas found it to be an improvement.
A soft laugh echoed through the fog and he span on the spot, eyes narrowed as he peered through the mist. He saw a shadow run deeper into it and he followed. The fog parted around him, granting him access as it lured him in.
A loud grating sound startled him, the floor vibrating painfully as a large structure rose from the fog, a haunting visage staring down at him from the cold stone it was carved from. The fog curved around the statue as if it were alive, parting itself so that Solas couldn't mistake the figure, even if he tried.
Relana Lavellan's emotionless, grey expression rooted him to the spot. The statue had captured her perfectly, tearing her straight out of his memories and encasing her in stone. Her hair was held back in the messy ponytail she preferred back during her time as Inquisitor, loose strands framing around the Vallaslin she once had. The statue held her arm out, palm facing upwards as if it were in the process of closing a rift.
"You are wasting your time, I could never regret the moments spent with her," Solas said aloud to the void, the fog and statue as his only audience.
Another statue rose from the ground, the vibrations stronger as if daring him to challenge it. This time Relana was kneeling, face bare and eyes wide, a hand pressed to her chest while the other embedded itself into the grass beneath her.
"Not even this moment?" The statue taunted, its voice hollow and cold. "You have a rare and marvellous spirit," it echoed painfully, the words tearing through to his heart.
"I regret the pain my selfishness caused the both of us, but I did not lie. I could never, and will never, regret her."
A third statue joined the others; its arrival was silent as it slowly crept to its full hight, towering over the previous ones. Her hair was longer, reaching her lower back now that she left it unbound. Her left arm was now composed of green crystal, replacing the missing flesh and blood.
"You were going to kill her," the stone sneered, "she would have died slowly and painfully when the veil fell."
He thought he saw a shadow hiding behind the statues, a glimmer of darkness deep within the fog. The fog itself had continued its advance on him, creeping closer, as if it had grown bored of the statues.
"That is factually inaccurate. When I left behind my pendant for her, I had enchanted it with a powerful barrier. Powerful enough that it would take the brunt of most injuries, saving her from almost all fatalities." Solas retorted, his hands clasped behind his back while he bit back a snarl.
He felt a presence behind him, yet when he checked, all he saw was the oppressive mist concealing his surroundings. A delicate hand danced along his back, the ghostly touch both familiar and bittersweet.
"You were always so sure of yourself," Relana said as she joined him before the statues, staring up at them in amusement.
It was her, flesh and blood, except, she was wrong; her hair was far too light and her eyes were too dark. The tips of her ears poked out from her hair much further than they should have, and her eyes were too wide. It was like someone had drawn her from a faded memory, yet Solas could never forget.
"You are so certain that I would continue to wear it after all this time," she smirked, and the expression was lopsided and wrong on her usually delicate features, as she gestured towards the wolf jaw that sat against her chest.
"And yet, there it is," Solas stated before turning away from the stone replica of her.
"There it is," she agreed, her voice melodic and taunting. "We always playfully fought over who would wear this before the end, didn't we? It became a game, who could find it under the pile of discarded clothes each morning, or who could retrieve it from the other before they could notice."
"It was only fitting that it remained with you, in the end." Solas said solemnly, feeling the missing weight against his chest as vividly as the day he left it in her hand. He watched as her slender finger trailed over the dulled teeth, yet even the bones that composed the figure were wrong. They were far too short to be hers, and they were lacking the small scars that she had earned from her life in her clan.
"Is something the matter?" She asked lightly, with a small smile on her face that didn't match the look in her eyes. The fog shifted from white to grey, and her eyes, too blue to be real, seemed to glow from within its depths.
"What are you?" Solas demanded, growing tired of the prisons farce. A low chuckle fell from her lips, the sound nothing like how he remembered her laugh to be; the bright sound that had once enveloped his heart and made him feel at home for the first time in his long life.
"Don't you recognise me, vhenan?" Relana twirled on the spot, the fog moving with her as if they were one. "Aren't I your lover?" She asked as she circled him, speaking from over his shoulder.
"No, you are not. Even if you were an accurate representation of her, it would be impossible for Relana to find herself here."
Her eyes narrowed as they glared at one another, "and how are you so certain? How do you know that I'm not truly her?"
"For starters, Relana would have been in Skyhold at the time of my ritual, she had sent a small group to intercept me while she hosted refugees within its walls. You also happen to be far too tall to be her, along with all the other discrepancies between your appearance and hers."
The air grew tense between them, a chill slipping in to mix with the fog. Solas breathed heavily, seeing his breath materialise with each exhale. She watched him with dark, sharp eyes, picking apart his every thought.
"Or you believe I can't be her because she would never come for you, I think that's a more accurate answer." She laughed as he shook his head, his eyebrows pulled together in a deep frown. "Am I wrong?"
"No, I know that she would follow me anywhere, even here, she loves me too much to let me destroy myself alone. Just as I love her far too much to let her follow me down that path. She cannot be here because then that means I failed to protect her." He admitted, feeling the weight of his words as they got stuck in his throat. "If I give up now, to return to her open arms and unconditional love, then it means the years apart as I chased this goal would be for nothing. That I ended us for nothing."
"And that, Great Wolf, is one of the many shackles you keep around your heart and mind," she said with a sad smile, her voice tender as she reached to caress his face. "But now, it is one less." The fog grew heavier around her, concealing her visage with each pulse. Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears and for a moment, the fog had finally succeeded in recreating her.
As quickly as it came, the fog vanished, taking both the figure and the statues along with it; Solas was alone within his prison once more. The isolation had never felt like more of a relief, yet as the mysterious weather rolled out into the endless currents of the fade surrounding him, he felt one of his many burdens drift away alongside it.