Chapter Text
“One day, when you grow up, Blackrock will kill you.”
Medkit remembered his caretaker’s words at night, in the day when his eyes would wander about, and in quiet evenings where he had nothing to do but ponder. Those words stuck to him like glue, nailed into his brain and reminding him that this faction would destroy him at any moment if it meant to benefit their future. It did not matter if he was little, big, useful or not– they would crush him in their hands at the snap of a finger if it meant even the tiniest of progress.
“You are a brilliant mind,” their words echoed in his mind as he remembered the warmth of the arms he was in, staring up at them as fingers trailed through his hair like it was silk, “and the world will love you so much that they will do anything to destroy you.” A kiss pressed against his forehead seared it into the workings of his mind for what would be the rest of his life and far beyond that.
“But don’t hide it. Use that brain of yours, get yourself into a good place, Medkit,” he was reminded, “because even us, the commoners, will be crushed to dust when science calls for it. The least you can do for yourself is be more than what I am.” His fate had been sealed and locked from the moment he had spawned, a tale with a predestined ending.
If he was useful, he was in danger of being wrung dry of his ability– if he was useless, he would be thrown down with the rest of the bodies when he eventually froze over. There was no winning for him, that small child with bright eyes that used to stare at their fingers and count the days that smoke and fog had covered over the stars, eventually losing count and growing to accept the empty nights. He remembered the last time he saw them, he could trace the pattern of a bird in them, soaring through the sky before finally being hidden by the puffs of smoke.
He liked to dream that they were clouds that would go away eventually. The only thing he could do though was dream, study, eat, sleep, repeat– he was another toy for Blackrock to move along to the rhythm of their anthem, whether he liked it or not. But the most he could do, at the very least, was to silently rebel, scream in the back of his mind, and shut up in real life.
“One day, when you grow up, Blackrock will love you.”
The word called love meant many things. Love of your family, friends, toys– Subspace had learned that the most important of those ‘loves’ was the love of craft, science, work– all the things that he should love, the only things, should be the things that benefit Blackrock the most. And he grew proud of his undying love for the faction of Blackrock, for his superiors saw his loyalty, his love, and they continued to praise him for it. And what a wonderful thing that was.
“You are a brilliant mind,” his superior knelt before him, him of all people, and placed a hand upon his shoulder as he held a completed rubix cube, “your genius will rival that of all the greats; there will be no other like you, you know? You will be Blackrock’s greatest star.” And as his hair was ruffled from its perfectly practiced style, he felt his pride swell, his heart thumping to the rhythm of the anthem, stars shimmering in his eyes.
“Don’t hide yourself behind anything,” he remembered chasing his superiors and following right behind them, copying the way they held themselves up and oftentimes making expressions just like them, “you will make great progress for our faction merely by existing, Subspace.” He would grow up one day to be just like them, he promised.
Because he would be Blackrock’s most powerful scientist, the one to change history, rewrite the definition of science entirely. People would chase after his goals, his ambitions and his dreams, yet he would outspeed them all, break past any limit that science had set previously. For as he watched smoke cloud over the sky, a sign that their factories were working harder than ever, he had the hopes that he would be the only star that Blackrock needed.
Yet as his hands fiddled with his rubix cube, he found himself looking for the stars of the night sky, and finding nothing but things that could, maybe, just be clouds if he squinted hard enough. But he marched along anyways, head held high and each part of the cube moving into its place as it rightfully should, words fueling his drive, his passion– his love for Blackrock.