Chapter Text
Being with Ivan wasn’t so bad. It got annoying at times—painful in some moments—but it wasn’t ever dull. Even with their deaths looming over them, it was bearable. Words that came out of his mouth were unhinged, but nothing in this world existed without an answer, or an understanding.
“Let’s leave, Till.” And with that, some things in this world didn’t have an understanding. Till wasn’t sure what to say. He knew what Ivan meant, and he knew he meant it with all his heart. Till wouldn’t put it past Ivan for somehow finding an escape. It was baffling how Ivan even had the courage to say that. He was the best one of them here. He was favoured. He would win, one way or another. Then why?
Till drops the flower crown he had been making, the petals scattering on the ground, crushed under their own weight. “What?” Till questions, taking a single step forward, the crown getting caught up in his feet, fully crushed under someone else’s weight. “You found a way to leave? How?” Till takes another frantic step forward, so close that he could stretch his arms to grab onto Ivan’s shoulder. “Yes, I did. I found it, and that’s enough for now.”
That’s enough for now? They could be walking into a hellhole, and all Till would have to rely on would be a “That’s enough for now.” Till doesn’t take a step forward now, heart racing up at the prospect of getting away from this place, of finding their own freedom. “All you have to do is follow me.” Ivan smiles, that same condescending smile, and reaches out his hand. Till is hesitant. There’s too many factors at play here. Is this exit safe? Where will they go from there? What about the others? What about Mizi?
He looks up at Ivan again to reject the reckless offer, but there’s an unknown gentleness in his eyes, his smile not as condescending, as if some part of him was begging Till to take his hand.
Till reaches out his hand, grabbing onto the outstretched one, naïve beyond understanding.
Ivan doesn’t waste time coming into Till’s room late at night. They weren’t going to take any luggage, wanting to lessen the baggage and increase their chances as much as they could. Ivan walks in the front, and Till follows behind him. The hallways echo with their small footsteps, and no light pours out from under the doors. Everyone must be asleep by now. “How nice.” Till think to himself. His body is heavy, face a tad bit swollen from the heavy sleep. His eyelids are heavy, but Ivan grabs onto his hand, forcing him to keep moving.
They don’t say anything as they walk the halls, as they get out in the garden, or as they stand in front of the exit. Maybe because there’s nothing to talk about, or maybe because Till doesn’t want to say anything. Part of this still feels like a dream; where if he breathes a little too loud, the dream will become clear to him, and the kaleidoscope will collapse under his feet. And so he stands silent, watching as Ivan’s breaths come out ragged, and the dream doesn’t collapse.
It’s all real. They both will step out of this little opening and never turn back. Mizi will wonder where they went. Maybe she’ll miss them. Will she miss him? Will she look at the flower fields and feel the absence of Till? As much as he wants to tell himself yes, an answer doesn’t come.
Ivan ducks his head, crouching down and adjusting himself though the hole—a couple leaves brushing past his head. Till does the same, slightly bumping his head against the low wall, letting out a small hiss as Ivan whips around his head, making sure he’s alright with a single nod. “You could at least say something.” Till mutters to himself, making his way beside Ivan, catching a glimpse of the smirk on his face. And the leaf stuck in his hair.
“Wait.” Till speaks, and Ivan complies—stopping to look at Till. He brings up his hand, gently brushing through the black hair, making sure not to mess them up too much. He picks up the leaf from Ivan’s hair, swiping away the small twigs. “You’re too careless.” Till says, dropping the leaf on the ground, making his way towards the last hindrance that stands in their way.
He hears Ivan shuffle behind him for a moment before joining him back on route. The wall stands large in front of them. The last line of defense that keeps them from the outside.
“So? Where do we go from here? Do we cross the wall or something?” Ivan shakes his head, turning his body, pointing to a door. “There’s our exit.” He speaks, voice flat.
“So we just…walk through that door?” Till questions. Surely it can’t be that easy. Just simply walking through a door?
“Yes. There aren’t any guards around this time. I scouted the area beforehand.” Ivan replies, taking the lead once again. Till follows, still not completely sold on it being so easy.
They reach the door. Ivan gives it a small push, and the door opens. A gust of warm air hits Till’s face, causing him to stumble backwards a bit. “Make sure to close the door.” Ivan says as he takes a step outside the door and onto outside soil. He’s a bit hesitant, Till can definitely tell that much. Nonetheless, he makes it outside, and it is Till’s turn to take the next step.
Till does exactly that. He closes the door with a small thud, and Ivan turns around, face beaming brighter than the balls of fire falling from the sky above them. He reaches forward to take Till’s hand, pushing him along as they run forward. Till feels his hair part from the middle, the warm air taking over his face. He can hear Ivan laughing as they hold onto each other’s hand. He watches as a leaf falls out of Ivan’s pocket, but he doesn’t care enough to stop right now. Not when they feel faster than all the meteors, the air wiping away all their sweat. This is what liberation feels like. This is what life is supposed to feel like. The people back at the garden would also probably enjoy this.
Huh? The people back at the garden? Flashes of pink cross his mind, yellowish green eyes sparkle behind glasses, and the sweetest voice graces his mind. Mizi.
Till comes to a sudden halt, jerking Ivan behind with him who was still holding onto Till’s hand. Ivan huffs, and so does Till. They both want to say something, but neither of them have enough breath. Ivan must have figured out Till would do this. He can tell with the way his eyebrows furrowed, like this was the one thing he didn’t want to be right about.
“Don’t…don’t tell me you’re turning back now.” Ivan speaks in between puffs of breath, wiping away sweat gathered under his bangs.
“Mizi and…everyone are still there. We can’t just leave them there!” Till exclaims, fists bunched up in a ball. His breathing is so ragged it’s almost embarrassing. Half of it isn’t even from running; it’s purely from the idea of leaving someone precious behind.
“She’s smart enough to figure it out on her own.” Ivan replies, taking a step towards Till, which only pushes him even farther away.
“You don’t know that. We don’t know that. What if they stay there? What then?”
Ivan takes another step forward, this time much smaller, as if he’s confronting a lost kitten.
“Then we’ll come back for them. I already know the ins and outs of this place. I can get past undetected, and you can help me.” Till looks at Ivan. His face shines under the falling light, and he seems some semblance of truth in it.
“What if we don’t come back? Hell, what if we come back and get captured ourselves too?! Since when have you ever kept your-“ Till doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Ivan must have known what he was going to say, as always. Instead, Till’s cheek feels warm, and it stings more than it should. Ivan must have gotten stronger. Till stumbles to the side, landing sideways onto the harsh, uneven ground. He balances himself with his palm, feeling the sting of rocks digging in.
“You never trust me. That’s why I’ve never gotten to keep my word.” Ivan hissed, his voice quiet but still carrying that anger.
“Well how do I know you’ll keep it this time?! Am I just supposed to trust you blindly?!” Till barked back, still on the ground, eyes glistening with tears from the sudden pain.
“Yes, you’re supposed to trust me! I’ve gotten you this far, I can get the others this far too!” Ivan raises his voice this time, trying to make his words carry more depth. Till looks at him again, closely this time. So closely he squints his eyes to see the slight water in Ivan’s eyes. Till knows he won’t ever let the tears spill.
Till scoffs. He could go back, and he knows Ivan will help him get back. But it feels wrong in some way. Everything feels wrong. Leaving his friends behind seems wrong, and leaving Ivan after all his work seems wrong. He wipes the trickle of blood from his cheek and turns to Ivan.
“How do I know for sure we’ll come back?”
“I can swear on my life. I can swear on anything that exists in this world and beyond. I can keep the promise to any God there is. But ultimately, I’ll swear to you.” He takes a step forward, reaching out his hand once again. “I won’t let your or anyone else be the victim of my actions.”
Ivan’s eyes sparkle. Maybe even brighter than the ones preserved behind glasses. A meteor hits the ground somewhere in the distance, and Till moves forward to take that hand once again.
They’ll run again. He will run wherever Ivan’s back will take him. And then they’ll come back.