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Am Bare Ass

Summary:

Three fluffy stories that take place during the final timeline, loosely connected by the concept of "embarrassment".

Notes:

“I just want to write small paragraphs of everyone being happy!” I cried to my higher self.

“What are you - Twitter? Everything needs connective tissue. You’re not writing drabbles here.”

“But if I am?” I exclaimed, “Do we think we’re too good for short-form content?”

My ego and superego looked at each other.

Finally, my higher self sternly said to me, “Find me a theme and I’ll let you do it.”

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Mikey,” Takemichi began to say. He wrapped his hand around the monkey bar, right up against Mikey’s hand, and lets his pinky gently overlap with Mikey’s own. “I think I want this time to go differently.”

“Whatever you want, Mitchy.” Mikey smiled brightly at him. “What do you want us to do?”

Takemichi hesitated. But he had to push forward. “I think we should all try to go to Todai.”

Nothing came of it. Toman was smart, but nothing about Tokyo U was motivation enough for them to attend school seriously or give up fighting in the evenings to instead attend cram school and arrange study groups. Most gave up before they even entered high school. Takemichi spent two years as a ronin before crying about being a born-failure after all and giving up to work as a manager at a bookstore that was soon instructed to offer video rentals on the side.

Well, almost nothing.

Takemichi started an amateur Manzai comedy duo with a woman named Yari Eru. They called themselves "Todai Revengers" and went by the stagenames "Michitake" and "Yariel". They played local bars on Thursday nights during open mic.

All his friends came to support him, of course, piling into booths and catching up over drinks. At the end of the day, though, only Mikey ever consistently found their stuff funny.

And to Takemichi, that was worth bragging about.


Chifuyu is only mildy embarrassed that he lost his virginity amongst tiger-print sheets. The only thing more embarrassing is that he bought those tiger sheets himself. For his own bed. 

Because he wanted to feel closer to Kazutora, while they were still living with their own mothers.

Peke J was the first to see them. Peke J was a real mensch, though, and only meowed approvingly and rolled around atop them to welcome them fully into their household.

The second person to see them was his mother. He hadn't thought anything of it at first, sitting on the couch with a couple manga volumes while she meandered around the house, catching up on chores. When he heard a loud snort from his room, he perked his head up from Tsubaki-sensei's work to call out a "you okay?" to his mother.

She came out of his room then, her mouth wobbling violently. "When-" She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "Who gave you your new sheets?"

Chifuyu tilted his head. "No one? I bought them myself."

His mother burst out in laughter. Chifuyu realized then that he wasn't fooling anyone. He himself had derided animal print (and Hawaiian print and floral print and paisley print and-) loudly everytime Kazutora came around with a stack of fashion magazines for them to peruse through together. His mother had definitely seen and heard them pressed tightly side by side on the bed, Kazutora's arm thrown carelessly around his shoulder with their heads in a single magazine, while Baji lounged like Peke J on the rug, content to be near but not a part of their skinship ritual.

The third person, of course, was Baji, who ignored Chifuyu's instructions to stay out of his room, and began to guffaw loudly as soon as he pushed past Chifuyu and burst in without permission. What followed was Chifuyu adamantly talking Baji out of submitting it as a funny anonymous story for Haruchiyo to react to on his YouTube channel.

What Chifuyu could not prevent was Baji telling Kazutora that there was something absolutely hilarious on Chifuyu's bed. Kazutora, of course, reacted jealously, as Chifuyu had also instructed him to stay out of his room from then on.

Which led to now.

"My, my, my." Kazutora purred. His arms caged Chifuyu as Kazutora leaned over his prone body, his knee moving up dangerously close to an area of Chifuyu's that was quickly becoming interested in the current events. Kazutora leaned forward to hotly say in Chifuyu's burning ear, "for me?"


The Sano Dojo was a neighborhood landmark and when neighbors came over to drop off excess food or share a cup of tea with him, Mansaku Sano always made it a point to show off his wall of family photos.

There was the photo of his parents looking severe, of course. His wedding photo with his wife. His wife with Makoto. His son and Sakurako with newborn Shinichiro, then newborn Manjiro.

Then of course, the newer photos, which always elicited a variety of reactions.

There was the series of maternity shots, where Shinichiro wore a bedsheet and beachball and went around cavorting like a pregnant goddess, while Wakasa lovingly carressed his "stomach" or tenderly held him from behind while supporting his "baby" bump.

Next were the manger photos, where Shinichiro and Wakasa cooed over a pair of four-stroke twin cylinder engines wrapped up like babies, while the preteens Manjiro, Emma, and Izana somberly presided over them as the three wise and towel-laden magi.

There was a photo of Manjiro and Emma, side by side, though only a few people knew that the uncanny valley of that picture was due to Koko using photoshop to swap their faces around. Another photo from the same day showed Shinichiro wearing a long blonde wig and flipping his hair sassily next to his three naturally blonde siblings.

The founding of Manjiro's little troupe, Toman. Shinichiro out drinking with Wakasa and their two friends. Mansaku with his four grandchildren, all wearing the exact same yukata because Emma thought it would be cute. Emma and Izana, wearing a Regency-era dress and Barong Tagalog, respectively, at a local event for children.

Birthdays. Graduations. Celebrations.

Shinichiro and Wakasa in tuxedos, crying and laughing with their hands clasped together. 

Huge groups of children transitioned to larger groups of teens, then finally adults: all laughing, all smiling, all together.

"Oh," His neighbor, Yamada-san, clasped a hand to her cheek. "How...wonderful." She was staring at the photo of Manjiro and Shinichiro lying next to a large dead fish with the same eye color as them.

Mansaku beamed. "Isn't it?"

Notes:

Actually doing research to confirm "Oresama Teacher" manga volumes was released in Japan around 2008, when Chifuyu was already in high school, because I find the Mafuyu and delinquent and shojo connection to be too good.

I don't know if I need a full MLA style citation, but there was indeed a reference to Brian David Gilbert's "Siblings" song in this.