Work Text:
“... Friends?”
Shadow Milk stared at Pure Vanilla, his heart lurching in his throat as he whispered the words that threatened to tear apart his very existence. The physical embodiment of the sun smiled so sickeningly soft as he waited with bated breath for his response.
He had been locked in the tree for centuries , the very essence of his being trapped away. But he was never made to be shut away. He was meant for connection, for other cookies . The Fount was never supposed to be alone.
But Shadow Milk was. He chose to abandon his purpose, to abandon who he was at his core.
Now, standing in front of the other half of his soul, who rose instead of falling like he did, who embraced everything he rejected, who happily took in everything that Shadow Milk was and wasn’t, he questioned his choices.
Pure Vanilla’s open hand was inviting to the Fount but threatening to Shadow Milk. (Since when was he not the Fount? How long had he no longer seen himself as good, as someone deserving of such a renowned title?).
Shadow Milk turned away as the delusional healer got closer, his smile full of kindness, of rotten honesty and truth .
“Yes, Shadow Milk, I will be your friend.” Pure Vanilla insisted, his smile growing inexplicably softer as he spoke. He slowly switched tactics, opening his arms to offer the jester a hug, to give him some sort of comfort in being so vulnerable (He can’t be vulnerable, Shadow Milk isn’t vulnerable ).
Arms bathed in cream and gold wrapped around him, accompanied by quiet words of delicate reassurance, of safety and warmth and promises that Shadow Milk wished were empty, but the stupid truth-speaker wouldn't have the heart to lie.
“I-”
“I know it’s hard, you don’t have to say anything, this is enough.”
It took everything the jester had to not lose his mind. Whether that was in an upset rage or in tears, who knows? (Shadow Milk did, but he would never admit even after breaking Pure Vanilla down to the point of deceiving him , that he trusted the healer enough to get emotional, to be a bit… exposed).
Shadow Milk took a deep, shaky breath as he whispered, “...Okay.”
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⟡ ⊰ ⊹ ─
The Vanilla Kingdom was too bright.
The people in the kingdom are too happy.
Pure Vanilla is too kind, too understanding, too compliant with his needs and his fears. He even let the jester into his bed when he had nightmares about the tree, about being the Fount and
failingfailingfailingfailingfailingfailing.
“Shadow Milk?”
The sickeningly sweet voice rang out across the silent room as the jester laid on his bed, hugging his knees as yet another nightmare washed over him. The faces of the witches were blurry, forgotten by magic and by time. Yet their words still stung, his failures and his supposed betrayal.
“Breath in with me, Shadow Milk, dear.”
Pure Vanilla guided him through soft, deep breaths, each inhale less and less shaky.
“Better?”
“Yeah…”
Once more, he offered the jester a soft, comforting hug, “You don’t have to be alone, Shadow Milk.”
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⟡ ⊰ ⊹ ─
“I love you.”
…
“I- I love you too.”
─ ⊹ ⊱ ⟡ ⊰ ⊹ ─
Shadow Milk fell to the ground, chains digging into his wrists as he screamed. His throat was raw, he was lightheaded, but he felt the sting of hopelessness and despair as he was dragged back to the source of his nightmares.
Like the coward he was, Pure Vanilla stood with his beloved Ancients , that same soft smile on his face that he once comforted the jester with, now took pride in returning him to the very place he spent countless nights shaking and crying in those sick golden arms over.
“You lied! You said you loved me! Why did you lie to me, Nilly? Nilly, please, please! ”
Tears streamed down his face as his desperate cries were blatantly ignored by the one who promised him love and safety.
Shadow Milk had already had his soul jam shattered, the ever-encompassing pain now only an unpleasant buzz compared to the agony of being alone once again.
“You promised! You said you wouldn’t let me be hurt again!” Shadow Milk planted his feet in the ground, the final Beast, the only one who could fight the Guardian’s power.
“You can never change, Shadow Milk.” Pure Vanilla whispered, “I tried to forgive you; to let you live in peace. But you will never be able to let go of the Light of Deceit. I thought you could embrace the truth like I once did deceit, but apparently the truth is sickly to you.”
He gave him once last solemn glance, a sly smirk on his face as he whispered the final words Shadow Milk ever heard before being forced back into shiny, silver silence.
“You deserve to be locked away, you monster.”
The silence around him felt fake. A weak sob left the jester as he slammed his hands against the bars of his prison. Tears fell freely from his face as he collapsed to the ground. All his fears had come back for eternity .
He was never going to be free again.
Shadow Milk smiled at the small piece of silver wood he snagged right before he was imprisoned. He plunged the piece of wood into his weak heart, removing it with a sick squelch . The jam that flowed from his chest felt so good . Even as he felt the meager recesses of his soul escape him, his last moments weren’t of fear, or of sadness.
No, it was the satisfying sensation of the end, after eons of struggle and of disappointment, he was finally done with everything. Nothing could hurt him anymore.
His vision darkened, and everything stilled into gentle silence.