Work Text:
Megatron had learned to stay calm. His anger, which had plagued him for years, was a problem, a burden that was dragging him down.
Someone tried to kill him weeks ago, and he managed to avoid destroying little Tailgate through sheer luck. He's tried harder not to become violent, not to react by hitting first. He really tries.
Ratchet, of all people, should know that despite his constant attempt to be peaceful, it's difficult. She was one of the few who reminded him of that, especially if she was upset.
He didn't expect her, the miracle doctor, Optimus Prime's best friend (a former best friend, according to the letter he read), a diamond in the rough in medical knowledge and whatever she set out to do, to be so stupid. Ratchet entered his room without asking, kicking the door so hard that Ravage ended up on the ceiling in fright.
"You!" She seemed genuinely angry.
"Ratchet," he's sure he didn't do anything. "Was it necessary to bang on the door?"
"What's this?" She angrily raises a note and slams the door shut, ignoring his question.
There will be rumors tomorrow about how the head doctor entered the co-captain's room (a stupid title, but he's come to accept it) screaming. People get bored between assignments; rumors keep them alert and entertained.
He looks at the note and recognizes her handwriting; a grimace appears on his face.
"A request," he answers calmly.
"A request," she says incredulously and throws it to the floor.
Ravage approaches; he can feel her presence behind him. She jumps toward the note and reads it. He doesn't stop her.
"For Primus," Ravage looks at them both. "Are you serious?"
"I hope not," Ratchet replies, crossing his arms.
"I mean it," he says, sitting down on his bed.
Ravage looks at him and then at Ratchet. The feline's nose twitches. She looks at the door and shakes her head.
"I understand this may sound like a joke," he explains slowly to the redhead, "but you should know that I hold you in the highest regard."
"Fuck you," she interrupts. "I don't give a shit about your esteem. I hoped for my own good that it was a joke."
He hears a drip and looks at the floor, blood. Ravage lies down by the door. He knows it's her way of keeping watch, but she has no intention of leaving. Ravage wants to see this conversation through to the end.
"Ratchet," he looks at the doctor's annoyed face, "you're smart and you know about these... things. You helped me with something similar a long time ago." Ratchet doesn't change her expression, the drops falling more frequently from his fingertips. "I know we're not on the best of terms. I want to change, to make amends, but also," he thinks of Minimus's smile "I also want to be happy."
Ratchet says nothing. She turns her back on him, waves his hands, which splatter blood around the room, takes out a rag and wipes them, and turns away again, her expression the same.
"Be happy as you want," there's contempt "but don't you dare go out with anyone I care about, and unfortunately for you," she walks, her footsteps echoing, standing in front of him, blood dripping from her hands again "Minimus is my friend. Everyone in this mansion matters to me, and I won't let you become anything more than friends with them."
"What?" anger, contempt, Ratchet is not kind to him but since he arrived at the mansion she has never been hostile no matter how much he deserves it.
"I said, no way will I let you get "romantically" close to Minimus, much less help you."
When he was younger and more irresponsible, when he was kinder and less guilty, Orion told him about Ratchet, his best friend. He described her as if she were a deity. "She's the closest thing to Primus's wrath and pure loyalty you'll ever know," Orion told him, laughing.
When he first met the girl, he saw her as someone normal, nothing remarkable beyond her hair and eyes. That was until he saw her tend to her patients with strength, kindness, and determination, until he saw her heal them with anger, when he saw her scream at the guards and keep her head held high while they pointed their spears at her.
According to Orion, Ratchet was almost a deity, the wrath of Primus if she wanted it to be. According to him, she was more like the wrath of nature itself. He supposes she would prefer that comparison since she doesn't believe in gods.
When he was crazy and angry, he still had respect for her. No matter what he did, he could feel her anger and determination. She had no expression, yet he saw the anger; she had no voice, yet her posture screamed disgust; she had no freedom, yet when she went to Shockwave's base, her name was whispered in the halls.
"You won't let him?"
He doesn't know how she would stop him from trying to date Minimus, but he believes her because there's nothing that will stop her anger. Orion said Ratchet has plenty of anger, but the anger she uses is fair.
"No" she says impassively, "I won't let you hurt him."
"I don't want to hurt him. I-"
"Don't you dare!" she interrupts forcefully. "Don't say you like him, or that you're into him, or that you're attracted to him. We know how that ends with you." Blood trickles down her cheeks, and the woman closes her eyes, breathing heavily.
"I love him."
She opens her eyes in disbelief, and if Ratchet weren't smart, he's sure she would have tried to hit him.
"It doesn't matter if you love him." She pulls away. "It ends the same." She moves further away. "You told him you loved him. Sometimes I think you loved him." It's a silent, strange declaration.
He doesn't know what to say. He's upset because she thinks she can boss him around and yell at him. He's sad because he thought they were reaching some kind of truce, and he's confused. She didn't react when he apologized for the past torture; she's even angrier now.
"You don't know who I'm talking about," she turns back to him, disgust on her face. "Starscream."
He feels the floor beneath his feet fall away or the bed cease to exist. He knows what Ratchet is talking about.
"Starcream loved you. You told him you loved him." The contempt and sadness in Ratchet's voice are too much. "You. You beat him until he came crawling to me." Blood trickles from her hands again, echoing against the floor. "You, his leader, his mate, you broke him in so many ways that I learned every part of his body so I could heal him."
He can't defend himself from this, can't say he didn't do it. He can't believe he didn't think of it.
"You," she approaches and touches him with her finger, pointing at him, "you're asking me to help you date someone I care about." Blood trickles down her clothes, dirtying them. "Like you did years ago, as if it hadn't ended the same way you did with Starscream."
"Never."
"Never what?!" She waves her hands, and more blood stains his face. "You never hurt Orion?" She trembles; he doesn't think it's from fear. "You never hit him while you were dating?" She claps ironically. "Good for you, you did the bare minimum!"
She punches a wall, and it stains her face with blood. The blood is his fault. He put that curse on her and its consequences. Now his room is stained with the blood he caused. It's poetic.
"He gave you opportunity after opportunity, and you only made it worse." She turns around and looks at Ravage, who has stood bristling. The doctor goes back to wiping herself with the rag she carries in her pocket. "You only hurt him," she whispers.
Ratchet doesn't move, her breathing heavy. Ravage moves and runs through Ratchet's legs gently, a support, a bit of comfort, and Ratchet crouches down, wipes her hand again on the rag, and pets the feline. Ravage purrs softly.
"I won't let you go out with Minimus" Ratcher speaks after a long moment.
There's no anger in her words, only a deep weariness. He wonders again when he ruined everything, when he turned so many brilliant people into dull beings.
He thinks of Soundwave, he thinks of Tarn, of the Overlord, he thinks of... He thinks of Starscream and Ratchet. He only wanted to hurt one of them. No, he wanted to hurt them both. It was fun, it gave him power, he was so sure they deserved it. In the end, Ratchet was an enemy of the Decepticons and Starscream a traitor.
Killing them would have been more merciful, but he was crazy; he wanted to have fun, not be right.
-I won't hurt him.
"I won't let you go out with him. You can still be friends." She stands up and gives the panther one last pet. "But if you at least have a minimum esteem for me" she turns away. "You won't go out with him. He deserves better."
She opens the door and slams it shut. Ravage stares at the door for a moment, then at him.
"She's crazy," Ravage says, approaching. "I didn't think she remembered."
He sees Ravage, and the talking panther jumps onto the bed, but doesn't approach him; she lies far away.
"Soundwave and I used to go see her before you sent the mirror away. She always listened no matter what. Sometimes..." He falls silent, stretching his legs. "Sometimes Soundwave would ask her to comment on his music." Ravage doesn't see him, he settles down. "She couldn't really comment, but I think it kept her sane for a while."
He stays silent, looks at the walls; there's blood. He looks at the floor; there's blood. He looks at his shirt.
He gets up and takes a rag from the corner and starts wiping away the blood. He soaks the rag in the water near his bed. He was going to wash his face before this. He wipes the wall.
"What will you do now?" Ravage asks with a yawn, as if everything bores her.
"..." He bends down and cleans the floor. "I'm going to..." He is speechless.
He thinks about Minimus. Ratchet is right. Minimus deserves better, deserves someone who won't stain everything with blood. Minimus smiles at him. The second-in-command doesn't smile at anyone, and that makes him feel good. They've talked about reports and poetry. Minimus is more beautiful than Magnus. Minimus is much stronger for himself.
"You've changed," Minimus whispers with a knowing smile. Rodimus and Drift enter the meeting room, both pretending nothing has been said.
"I'm going to clean this up" he stands up and takes off his stained shirt. "Then I'll figure out how to tell Minimus I care about him."
"She's going to be upset," Ravage twitches her tail slowly. "She has a reason to be upset." Ravage scrapes the sheets with his claws.
"I know." He grabs another shirt and puts the stained one in the water. "I'll show they I'll change." He puts on the clean shirt. "And if Minimus gives me a chance or rejects me, it will be his choice, not Ratchet's."
"She'll take it very badly." Ravage scrapes the sheets more and jumps out of bed.
"I know."
Ravage walks to the door and stares at him (he wonders what she thinks of him now, if she hates him too, or if she pities him.)
"Will you open the door for me?" Ravage asks.
He opens the door for her, and she stares at him for a few seconds before shaking her head in disappointment.
"Goodnight, Megatron." She steps through the door and stops. "And good luck."
Ravage melts into the shadows and disappears. He's alone.
He closes his door, locks it, and lies down on his bed. The silence torments him. He wants to hit something, someone. He wants to hit Ratchet until she screams, until she apologizes, until she bleeds.
He stops his train of thought and takes a deep breath. He breathes deeply and stays calm. He can't let his anger control him.
He breathes and lets the nightmares come.