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She pushed Hyeju off. The fall felt like it lasted for both an eternity and only a second. When Hyeju opened her eyes, she saw herself on an old mattress covered in white feathers. Hyeju doesn’t like feathers. Feathers remind Hyeju of her old friend who was often compared to a bird. Her nickname was even bird. She killed herself right on this mattress while Hyeju watched, last spring. All Hyeju was there for was to ask Haseul, ‘Bird’, where her older sister went. She asked Haseul to tell her the truth of where Heejin went, however that just upset her more. Hyeju heard a bullet and saw feathers fall gracefully to the ground. Haseul was always graceful. Leaving nothing but a dead bird on a mattress, and Hyeju wondering where her sister was.
“So, Hyeju. What will you do now?” Hyeju turned around at the voice. She saw her sister, Heejin. Her older sister said that Hyeju has to ‘go back and try again’. Hyeju doesn’t understand what that meant. Try what again? Go back where? Hyeju doesn’t even remember who pushed her. Hyeju’s memory has been failing her recently.
“I’ll go back I guess?” Hyeju felt a headache coming on. Heejin sent her to a boarding school later that year. She told Hyeju that it was to ‘fix her behavior’… for ‘rehibilitation’, as Heejin put it. Hyeju told her sister over and over again that Haseul’s death was not her fault. Heejin refused to acknowledge this, saying that it was not her sister’s fault, but she was still ‘at fault’. Nothing Heejin says makes sense to Hyeju. Heejin reminded Hyeju to ‘not get distracted’ and thus sent her away. Hyeju is not the type to pay attention to other people, so she paid no mind to what her sister had said. The boarding school Hyeju was sent to was quite large, with its own garden and forest attached. It was called something that Heejin said was cheesy, but that was all she could remember.
Hyeju was placed in a small class with three other girls. Sooyoung, Jiwoo, and Chaewon. The other girls were all characters in their own rights. Their teacher would scold them often, expressing that they act so “vividly” that she cannot imagine how they maintain good grades. Soon into school Hyeju noticed Sooyoung staring forlorn outside, and shortly after she started sneaking out often. When she would come back inside, she would smell like apples and roses. Not that she’s distracted by it or anything.
Chaewon was quite shy, and had a bit of a staring problem. It felt to Hyeju as if she was never looking at Hyeju, but at someone directly behind her. Chaewon also had an interest in butterflies, enjoying telling Hyeju any fact she could. While having a few study sessions outside, Hyeju saw Chaewon talking to butterflies. Hyeju liked Chaewon out of the three girls the most. She was quiet but still fun, and was not too annoying. Seeing as Hyeju was closest to Chaewon, she asked Chaewon why she was talking to the butterflies. Every time Hyeju asked, though, Chaewon would respond with the same thing: “They spoke to me.” Leaving Hyeju confused every time. After Chaewon said that, she would turn and run away in a way that can only be described as ‘bunny-ish’. Chaewon had a tendency to screech and run and hide, no matter who she was talking to. Not the butterflies, of course. Chaewon told Hyeju a month into school that butterflies like to eat apples. Hyeju does not think that’s true. All Hyeju knows for sure though, is that this school is covered in apples.
Jiwoo is a very intense girl. All of her emotions seem to be at either 100% or none. Same with her volume. She was always really loud. Hyeju didn’t like that about Jiwoo, finding her distracting. Hyeju tries her best to take Jiwoo in very, very small doses, trying her best to avoid her. Hyeju realized very soon that leaving her alone was a good idea. She started noticing not only Sooyoung missing from their classes, but Jiwoo as well. Hyeju had a habit of noticing things, but she does not count it as “being distracted”. Chaewon told Hyeju later that Jiwoo ditched school with Sooyoung a few times because Sooyoung asked Jiwoo to take pictures of herself in the forest for her. Chaewon explained that Jiwoo got a crush on Sooyoung after that. Jiwoo started smelling like apples and roses from then on. Hyeju could not care less for the smell, but she cannot help but notice. After that week, Jiwoo started stalking Sooyoung. With her camera, she would record Sooyoung’s every move, everywhere she went. She wasn’t even secretive about it. She would blatantly walk up to Sooyoung and take a picture of her close-up, like super close-up. Jiwoo showed Hyeju her favorite picture of Sooyoung one day, even though Hyeju made sure to let her know that she did not have to do that. The picture was of Sooyoung reading a book named Aphrodite Means Death. Hyeju recalls Sooyoung making a presentation about Aphrodite once. She was chosen as the fairest by a man named Paris, and then something happened that Hyeju was not listening well for. She thinks it was Paris dying? It doesn’t matter. Jiwoo exclaimed often that she would die for Sooyoung any day. Anytime after that, whenever Hyeju would make the mistake of looking at Jiwoo, she would never blink. Jiwoo’s eyes were strained open, staring at Sooyoung.
Hyeju didn’t like being near Sooyoung at all. There was nothing wrong with her, but something in Hyeju’s gut told her to keep some distance. Sooyoung was the one person she tried to not be distracted by. Heejin told her about a girl named Yves once that reminded Hyeju of Sooyoung. That might be it. Sooyoung always smelled like apples and roses. She would stink up the room with the sweet scent whenever she would actually make it to class. Sooyoung always ate apples. Jiwoo noticed that Sooyoung only ate apples, and tried to offer some to her. She was always rejected, though. Sooyoung said that she only likes apples she herself picks, because they “taste like knowledge”. Chaewon reminded Hyeju that the girls liked to make fun of the school’s name being Eden. Hyeju doesn’t think it's funny. Even though it was a joke, something about apples started freaking her out after that. Hyeju came across a teacher scolding Sooyoung one day. It surprised Hyeju that it took so long to reprimand Sooyoung, but she reminded herself that she doesn’t care. For whatever reason, her sister’s words were repeating themselves to her often these days. Apparently Sooyoung had a habit of dropping apples off of the roof to see “what would happen”. Hyeju thought it was stupid to be upset about that over her ditching, until she was distracted by the teacher yelling,
“KAHEI IS BLIND IN HER LEFT EYE. SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ALEXITHYMIA BECAUSE OF YOU.”
“She acted like a robot already, I don’t see the issue.” Sooyoung dropped an apple on Kahei’s, one of their seniors, head. She remembers Kahei. Kahei is her older sister’s friend and was Haseul’s friend at some point in time as well. Hyeju went to the library to look up that last bit. Apparently, Kahei was diagnosed with a disorder where people have problems with emotions, mostly identifying them. The seniors would always tease Kahei, saying she was like a robot. Hyeju guesses that Sooyoung knew of that as well. Hyeju was uneasy at the fact that Sooyoung would do whatever she pleases, harming people because she could.
First Sooyoung disappeared out of class, and then Jiwoo, and eventually Chaewon would leave too. Chaewon left Hyeju. Hyeju was left alone to finish projects, assignments, and get scolded for the whereabouts of her classmates. Chaewon would meet with Hyeju occasionally, but only when no one else was around. Chaewon would tell Hyeju that she likes butterflies. Hyeju already knew that. Chaewon would also bring Hyeju roses and apples that she picked, saying that “the butterflies said you needed a taste”. Whatever that means. Hyeju was not stupid enough to bite a plant with thorns, but she would take a bite of an apple whenever Chaewon presented her with one. They just reminded her of Sooyoung saying the ones she picked herself were the best. Hyeju felt uneasy.
Jiwoo’s stalking got worse… creepier than before. She would come into the common room often and exclaim that “Sooyoung was even more beautiful and charming than normal today!” even though Sooyoung hadn’t left her dorm that day. Hyeju noticed that Jiwoo started to look sicker than before. Not that she would say or do anything about it, she just got distracted by her pale countenance. Chaewon hugged Jiwoo and gasped, stating that Jiwoo feels colder than normal.
“Hehe I was outside just now!”
“But it’s snowing! Weren’t you with Sooyoung? You came from the direction of the dorms and Sooyoung hasn’t left today.”
“I was with her!”
“How cold must her dorm be! Is she keeping her window closed? Is she alright?”
“Oh she is more than alright! She’s incredibly gorgeous, did you know that Wonnie?” Jiwoo didn’t blink that entire conversation. It distracted Hyeju from her homework.
“Then, why are you cold?” Jiwoo’s face dropped, making Chaewon screech. She was always scared of offending people. Jiwoo frowned, and walked away. Towards the garden.
Later, no one could find Jiwoo after curfew. The girls all went outside to look for her. Sooyoung didn’t try at all, Chaewon was complaining about it. Sooyoung sat on top of a small pillar and claimed that she was “keeping watch”. Chaewon went with a security guard into the forest to see if she was just there taking pictures. Hyeju wanted to be back inside. She rounded a wall, leading to the outside of the dorms. The first years, which these three were, had rooms on the first floor. Hyeju left her window unlocked so she could go back inside without this distraction that Jiwoo caused. As Hyeju got closer to her dorm, she saw something on the ground outside of Sooyoung’s window. Hyeju assumed Sooyoung threw old clothes outside, seeing as she was that inconsiderate often. Hyeju got closer, planning to walk around the clothes, but she saw something in the clothes.
It was Jiwoo. Outside Sooyoung’s window, camera in hand. She was lying on the floor with apples scattered about around her. Jiwoo was taking pictures of Sooyoung through her window. That’s why she was cold earlier. She *was* with Sooyoung, just in the creepiest way possible. Hyeju looked around to see if anyone was near. No one was. Hyeju watched Jiwoo stop moving. She looked cold, and a tad purple. Hyeju got closer and picked up Jiwoo’s camera. It was a picture of Sooyoung reading in her room. No surprise there. Hyeju placed the camera back down and walked further down, climbing back into her own room.
The next day, Hyeju walks into class. Sooyoung and Chaewon are there, surprisingly. Chaewon isn’t as peppy as she usually is, but Hyeju knows it’s because of Jiwoo. There is a thin blanket draped over Chaewon, mimicking a cocoon. She has an apple in front of her. A red apple. Sooyoung is sitting across from Chaewon, her hands folded under her chin, her lips in a smirk.
“Wonnie, take a bite, won’t ya?” Sooyoung giggled. Chaewon grabs the apple and gets up, letting the blanket fall slightly. Hyeju caught a glimpse of what looked like butterfly wings. Chaewon takes a generous bite of the apple, and drops it to the floor. She states that she’s going to go talk with Yeojin. Hyeju doesn’t know who Yeojin is, but since she has nothing to do with her, she tries to continue her assignment.
“Yeojin’s looking for Haseul. Do you know that?” Sooyoung hasn’t moved her body or eyes from where she was looking at Chaewon. How does Sooyoung know who Haseul is?
“Which means that Chaewon is now looking for Haseul, too.” Hyeju tries her best to ignore Sooyoung’s words and that awful smell of roses and apples she emits.
“Which means they don’t know what happened to Haseul.” Hyeju slams her hands on the desk and stands up, staring daggers at Sooyoung.
“How do you kn-” Sooyoung bursts out laughing at Hyeju.
“Well let’s go then!” Sooyoung gets up, going around the table and grabbing Hyeju’s wrist. Hyeju doesn’t have to ask where they’re going. She knows exactly where Sooyoung is bringing her to.
An old abandoned building not too far away from the school, through the forest and across a field, through some fences. The field holds an old wrecked plane, with glass scattered around it. Butterflies have invaded it, claiming it as a home for themselves. It reminded Hyeju of Chaewon. The plane was infested with roses and butterflies. Sooyoung stares at Hyeju and smiles. She yanks Hyeju’s wrist and says,
“You know we’re not there yet, silly wolf!” giggling, yet again. They go into the abandoned building. Inside on the ground level, there is a small strip of floor with railing going all around the walls, connecting to a staircase that leads to the basement. Hyeju knows what this place is. Hyeju can feel this place in her bones. Hyeju can hear the bullet from here. She doesn’t see anyone. But if Chaewon and that girl were searching for Haseul, and they weren’t at the plane wreck… All Hyeju sees are butterflies and feathers and glass on the floor, tracked in from the plane wreck.
“You should eat an apple. It’ll calm you down, scary wolf.” Sooyoung giggles behind Hyeju, pushing Hyeju off the railing.
She pushed Hyeju off. The fall felt like it lasted for both an eternity and just a second. When Hyeju opened her eyes, she saw herself on an old mattress covered in white feathers. White feathers and apples and rose petals. Hyeju hated the smell of roses and apples. Hyeju doesn’t like feathers either. Feathers remind Hyeju of her old friend who was often compared to a bird. She killed herself right on this mattress while Hyeju watched, last spring. All Hyeju was there for was to ask Haseul where her friend Chaewon went. She asked Haseul to tell her “the truth”, but that just upset Haseul more. Hyeju heard a bullet and saw feathers fall gracefully to the ground. Leaving nothing but a dead bird on a mattress, and Hyeju wondering where her friend went.
“So, Hyeju. What will you do now?” Hyeju turned around to see her sister, Heejin. Her older sister said that she has to go back and try again. Hyeju understands what she means by that now. Hyeju got distracted. She left the school, Eden. She ate apples Chaewon gave her.
She smiles at her sister and tells her that she’ll eat an apple she picks herself. Heejin throws her little sister a lighter, telling her to burn the mattress and burn her past with it.
“I never liked how apples taste.”
“Neither do I.”