Chapter Text
‘Fuck this day. Fuck this day. Fuck this day!’ Maya repeated to herself over, and over, and over. She repeated it in the halls, she repeated it on the bike ride home, she repeated it up the stairs, she repeated it into her room. She slammed the door shut as if to tell the world that the day can’t come in. After letting out a groan she glanced down at the single rose Coco gives her every year for valentines day. She knew she always got it so she didn’t feel left out as everyone else received ones from people who liked and admired them, but it was still insulting; Her always perfect adopted sister, casting pity on her like she even wanted it. She threw the rose away to some dark corner of her room to forget about it, and decided to just lay in bed til this horrid day ended.
‘At least it's almost over. Just a little more time and it’ll be like this all never happened…’ The bed was one of the only comforts she felt she had anymore, always there for her, always soft and quiet, always ready to help her escape into nothing if just for a few hours. Her eyelids were heavy, her limbs letting go, any moment now she would be free of all this horrible- someone knocked on the door. They knocked again.
‘God just hates me. That has to be it.’ She thought as she dragged herself from her bed to the door. She cracked it open, just enough to see who had been sent by divine intervention to keep her from leaving today.
“Hello, Maya!” Of course, who else but the damn angel herself, Coco.
“What?” She asked, already impatient.
“Well, I know you’re not feeling well today so I wanted to give you something.” The blond girl pulled from behind her a full bouquet of roses, and handed them out to Maya. They were beautiful, but the gesture felt wrong, it felt even more insulting than the single rose.
“Why do you think I’m not feeling well?” Maya pulled the door open more.
“Well, I-”
“Because you think no one likes me, is that it? So you came here to rub in more of your stupid pity?” She was so tired, she couldn’t help but continue in frustration. “People only like you because-”
“Maya.” Coco said sternly to her. She fell silent.
“Just take them, please... Happy Valentine's Day.” Coco walked away as soon as Maya took the flowers from her.
Maya closed the door and looked down at the blossoms, bright red with tiny green thorns, even in the dim light of her room the color was eye-catching. A note was hanging from them on a brown string that kept white paper wrapped around them, it read.
‘Dearest Maya, I hope you like the roses and I hope they make your day feel nicer. I could never imagine life without you!’ At the end, a small heart was drawn in red ink. Her chest felt heavy as her heart beat.
The roses just sat there, laying beside her on the bed, it all just made her feel strange. She had never gotten something like this before, she had never read something like that before, and suddenly here it all was, and from the girl who felt like a curse on her life.
‘Why would she do this? Why would she say that? Maybe it’s mocking me. Maybe it’s insulting me.’ Whatever the answer, she didn’t understand it.
‘I could never imagine life without you!’ She read again.
‘I could.’ she remarked back to the note in her head. ‘I could imagine not living in a shadow. I could imagine not having to compare myself to someone like you. I could even imagine having my cat back. And today of all days you, what, demonstrate how lonely I am compared to you?’
Maya’s mind wandered more and more with thoughts that grew more confusing and confusing with each word of hate or regret.
‘Screw this, I’m not letting her belittle me like this.’ Maya grabbed the roses and marched out of her room.
It was late now, the lights in the hall were off, isolating the doors to each room in their own uneasy universe. She knocked on Coco’s door and waited.
It took a minute. A very long minute. She knocked again. Silence still. She raised her fist to knock again, but this time the door opened. She didn’t even recognize the face on the other side for a second. Her light gold hair was messy, her eyes were tired, her cheeks marked by streaks of tears.
“Oh, Maya… Is something wrong?” She was choking back her tears and forcing a small smile, she appeared ashamed to even be seen right now.
“I, uh, never mind.” This was awkward, Maya just wanted to get away from whatever this was.
“You don’t like them do you?” Coco said in a hushed tone.
Maya looked down at the flowers, hanging from her other hand.
“It’s fine if you don't, it was silly of me really.” Coco laughed awkwardly, her body was shivering now, if only slightly. “You can just throw them away, it’s fine, it doesn’t matter anyways.”
‘This isn’t anything like her.’ Maya thought. She had seen Coco sad, at least a few times over the years, but this was sadder than she had ever seen, she didn’t think she was even capable of whatever this was.
“Coco… uhm, are you al- alright?” Maya wasn’t even sure what to do. “I could go get mom for you-”
“No!” Coco grabbed her arm. She let go quickly, as if she had done something wrong.
“No it’s fine, really, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
Maya looked back down at the flowers, holding them a bit closer now to her chest.
“Uhm… Th-thank you for these. I guess.”
Coco weakly smiled. “I’m glad you like them, sorry if I woke you up... Goodnight, Maya.” The door closed and the hall was darker now. Everything felt darker now.
The usually anxious girl’s bedroom was too quiet for her to sleep. Laying in bed, Maya listened carefully for anything, any bump, any shift, any whimper or call, but the other side of the wall was silent. Perfectly silent. Eventually her eyes were too heavy to keep open. Her body let go again, and the day ended back into darkness.
Her dreams were always something strange to her, either they never came, or they would arrive only to drag her through god only knew what. For this one, she was alone on a small white bridge over a river through a field of tall grass, Maya looked out at a world of clouds coming closer and closer to hide away a blue sky. This was not her island, this was not somewhere far away, this was too close. And someone was coming to meet her, a shape off in the distance, she didn’t know who though.
The sun creeped into the gaps in the blinds, her phone buzzed the day in. Part of her wanted to lay and try to dwell on the strange sights she had seen, but the other part of her remembered the strange night before. After getting dressed the first thing she checked was Coco's room, but she wasn’t there. Going down stairs she was greeted by her mother preparing breakfast. “Good morning, Maya!” Looking around still, Maya found her. The usually happy girl, smiling once again back at her from the table, as if nothing had happened. But this smile felt more like a lie than any other she had seen.