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It was becoming more of a common thing lately for Jax and Ragatha to argue.
Well, they always did. They never got along. But it was becoming worse. Like, massive yelling matches that resulted in both parties storming off, worse.
It didn't help when Caine had decided to pair them up in teams one time, for the usual hellish, technicolor escapade they were forcibly sent on every day.
The day's adventure was some sort of weird collectible scavenger hunt inside of some sort of weird abandoned haunted hotel. Everybody had to find the golden bee statues (thanks Caine) hidden throughout the building, navigating through the random ghost jumpscares along the way, and the team to find the most would be the winner. Although whether whatever "prize" Caine would dictate at the end was actually rewarding, was up for debate.
And who could've guessed.
Jax and Ragatha were on the same team.
They had no choice in the matter. Caine had picked the teams this time.
Jax hated every moment of the adventure from the start. He was already having a rougher time than usual dealing with everything. This just made matters so much worse. He was stuck all day with the one person in the entire circus he could stand the least.
It wasn't his fault that she called him out on something stupid every time he so much as breathed or moved an inch in what she deemed was the wrong way. It wasn't his fault that she didn't like his sense of humor, or how he dealt with being stuck in this hellhole. It wasn't his fault that she didn't like him. He couldn't do a single thing right in her eyes, it seemed. Ragatha's nagging amplified his stress tenfold. It took everything he had to keep his frustration hidden behind his usual mask of a careless grin and strut.
They wandered unenthusiastically around the stupid hotel together.
So far, they'd only found one golden bee statue hidden in the drawer of a bedside table in some random room. Well, actually, Ragatha did. Jax had just stood around and watched her do everything. He wanted this adventure over with as soon as possible. So he could go back to his room, and be alone, and wallow in his own pitiful self-degradation, alone. So much fun to look forward to.
But what else was there to do?
Eventually, Ragatha got fed up with him putting in no participation. She whipped around on him in the middle of the hallway they ambled down, stopping him, and she pointed one plush finger at him.
"Are you actually going to help, or do I have to do this whole scavenger hunt thing all by myself?" she snapped.
He gave her an apathetic stare, shrugged, and continued walking past her with a hand on his hip. He made sure he sounded as bored as possible.
"I dunno, I was kinda hoping you'd do it all by yourself."
She audibly fumed and moved to follow behind him. "Jax! Can you not be obstinate for one day, please?"
"Nuh-uh." His grin seeped into his voice. "Where's the fun in that? Besides, I don't really wanna do this stupid adventure. It's dumb and boring. There's no bloodshed or violence. Boooriiing. And I don't care for Caine's prizes."
"Well, maybe if I do it all by myself, maybe Caine will give me the prize instead, and maybe it'll actually turn out to be something of value!" she bickered. "Then you'll be wishing, 'oh, maybe I wasn't such a jacka#$% and had actually helped Ragatha for once instead of being such a d%#$k!'"
Her tone rose in pitch with her anger. Oh boy. Here we go. Again. Jax rolled his eyes, even though she couldn't see. She was arguing with him again. Irritation swelled like heartburn in his chest. She just couldn't resist, could she? What had pushed her buttons so bad?
He almost giggled to himself as his grin deepened. Oh yeah, that's right. He did.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he sneered back. "Now all of the sudden I'm gonna care just because of what you said." He scoffed. "Yeah, right. Keep dreaming, dolly."
"You never care," she hissed, still following after him. "You don't care about anybody but yourself."
They weren't even looking for the golden collectibles anymore. They were too busy bickering back and forth. Jax secretly hoped that one of the other teams would find the rest of the statues, and end this godforsaken adventure already.
"Ding ding ding, correct answer! Next question, please."
Ragatha groaned in frustration. "God! I wish Caine hadn't put me on this stupid team with you!"
"Yeah, yeah, and I wish for a lot of things too, dolly."
"You're impossible! You're insufferable, I can't stand you —"
"Feeling's mutual."
"I don't know what Pomni sees in you —"
Jax stopped dead in his tracks.
His sensitive hearing caught her footsteps halting, too.
He could handle any other insult thrown at him. He would just give his trademark grin. He would act like he heard nothing. Like it didn't affect him at all. Just let it all glance off him like arrows upon plate armor.
But hearing that?
His already fragile temper was inflamed. He turned around to face her, very slowly. His glare was like daggers. His eyes were cold, his grin gone completely.
"Excuse me?" he snarled. "You wanna repeat that for me?"
Fear was in her eyes and in her posture, how she now leaned away from him, and fiddled with her hands. But she still had a lot of fight left in her, and she stood her ground, meeting his glare with one of her own.
"You heard me," she said. "I said that I don't know what Pomni sees in you. Like, genuinely."
Jax let a few moments of silence pass as he seethed. His expression did not change. He just glared at her, his hands balled into fists. It must've been obvious to her that she'd finally struck a nerve with him. Ragatha took a step back, her unease growing in the silence.
"And what makes you say that, huh?" he replied, his anger barely contained.
"Because — !" she stammered. "Because, I know she likes to hang out with you a lot, and I have no idea why. Because you're such a jerk to everybody."
He stared at her silently. She mistook his lack of a response as a sign to go on.
"So, you must be treating her like crap, too. She's been more distant to me lately. So, you're probably manipulating her to be more like you too —"
His chest burned with anger. He took one step towards her. She cowered and took another step back.
"Oh, like you're just so peachy to be with, too?" He raised his voice, gesturing angrily, his tone oozing with resentment. "You've got to be kidding me, Ragatha! Do you seriously believe that s#@%t?"
"What else am I supposed to believe, Jax?!" she shouted back. "You've taken her from me! I was so nice to her from the start, and then you come up and just, just —"
"Taken her from you." He laughed deep in his chest. It was an eerie laugh, more out of disbelief and rage. "I've taken her from you."
"Yes, Jax! I know exactly what it is you're trying to do with her, and —"
"Shut up."
Ragatha blinked, momentarily stunned out of her anger.
"What?"
"I said shut the f#$&k up!"
Shocked, she gaped at his enraged eyes.
He was furious beyond words. He was breathing heavily, and his fists shook. His heart hammered in his chest. It hurt. It hurt so bad. Something within him hurt terribly. But he couldn't place what it was, and that bothered him more than anything.
Jax startled her when he threw up his hands in defeat.
"Fine! Fine."
He turned around, moving to walk away. He looked back at her.
"You got what you wanted. You f#$&ing win. Find the rest of the stupid godd@#%n statues by yourself. I hope you win your stupid prize. You win."
Jax turned back around. There was no hiding how his ears drooped. He stomped off.
Ragatha was left alone in the hallway.
Pomni walked with the others through the portal back into the circus.
"Welcome back, my cubical cucumbers!" Caine bellowed above them. "Wow! It looks like the team of both Gangle and Kinger won by finding the most golden bee statues! They both found a total of nineteen! Good job, you two! I couldn't be more proud!"
He flew over to pat them both on their heads simultaneously. Gangle winced. Kinger was as oblivious as ever, looking pleased with himself for getting praised.
"As promised, here is your reward!"
Caine snapped his fingers. Golden medallions with red ribbons magically appeared around their necks. The medal was engraved with… you guessed it. The symbol of a bee.
Gangle made a shocked noise and looked with confusion down at the medal in her ribbons. "Uh… thanks, I guess…"
Kinger looked pleasantly surprised and pumped his fist in a cheer. "Yes! Thank you! I love bees. This adventure was great."
"Me too, Kinger! Thank you!"
Caine twirled into the air and clapped his hands together. His cane spun and floated away from him.
"Well, that's it then! Your dinner awaits you! See you next time, my quivering quesadillas!"
And with that, he disappeared into a cartoony little cloud puff.
Everybody else grumbled about how much they disliked the adventure. They all moved to the dinner table near the commons area.
Just as Pomni started to move, somebody bumped into her. She grunted, almost got thrown off balance, and looked up to see who it was.
She looked into Jax's eyes.
He was so lost in thought at his own frustrations that he'd practically almost tripped over her. He looked infuriated, scowling down at her. His pupils were shrunken with anger, his ears pinned to the back of his head.
It took him a few seconds to realize exactly who he was glowering at. Then, his demeanor changed entirely. It was an instantaneous visual shift, like he immediately regretted the way he looked at her once he realized what he was doing. Dismay flooded his features, his scowl turning into a grimace of regret, and his ears drooped sadly. All of the sudden, Jax looked away in distress. He stormed off towards the table.
She watched from afar as he took a seat on the far end, the one furthest away from her. He plopped down unceremoniously, very uncharacteristic of his usual self. She could see his form sigh as he put his chin in one hand, elbow on the table. He didn't even look at the digital food already there.
Pomni felt so confused.
Sure, a good few weeks had passed since she… went to his room that one night. How she sought for comfort from him specifically. She felt that they'd at least grown somewhat closer in the time since then. He seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time with her. So, she felt that she'd gotten somewhat of a good grasp on what his true nature was, when he was only around her and not the others. The part of himself that he hid from everybody, and showed only to her.
So, what happened? This was so unlike him. Concern flooded her gut.
Even if he didn't care about himself, even if everybody else around here didn't care about him, she cared about him, d@$#it.
Ragatha came up alongside her. Pomni looked up. She wordlessly gave the ragdoll a puzzled look. Ragatha must have known exactly what her look was about, because she glanced at Jax, then glanced at her, looking ashamed. Pomni couldn't place what it was exactly, but there was something forlorn and pitiful in her eyes as she stared back. Like she knew something that Pomni didn't, and it was about her. Ragatha just shook her head, and walked off.
Pomni swallowed down her growing unease, and followed her.
Everybody found their places at the dinner table and settled down. Idle chatter filled the space around them, as they talked with each other about random things about their day or about how they felt or what was on their minds to pass the time.
Pomni warily approached Jax at the far end. He glanced at her. His expression was unreadable, but he otherwise didn't move. She took it as a hopeful sign that his weird mood wouldn't object to her sitting next to him. She usually did so, anyway, and he usually had no problem with it. She took her seat, and scooted in, digging into yet another bland digital dinner. It was just something everybody did to feel a slight sense of normalcy in this digital hell they were all stuck in.
Ragatha sat down next to her, on her other side. Pomni could almost feel the ragdoll's discomfort and disdain for Jax emanating from her in waves. But she tried her best to ignore it.
"So, uh… Pomni," Ragatha started, "what an adventure today, right?" She laughed awkwardly.
Pomni inwardly groaned. This was going to be such an awkward dinner. She realized that she wanted to go back to her room already. But she knew that Ragatha was just trying to be her friend.
"Uh… yeah. Zooble and I couldn't find anywhere near as many statues as Gangle and Kinger did. I have no idea how they pulled that one off. Gangle sure had an advantage with Kinger on her team. I know how much the guy likes his bugs. How… how did you guys do?"
She suddenly looked nervous. "It was, um… yeah! It… it went okay. We didn't find that many, either."
Pomni heard Jax sigh with frustration next to her. She glanced at him.
"Yes, it was just peachy," he growled. She noticed that he was barely able to contain his anger. He kept stabbing a piece of digital potato on his plate, over and over. "It was just such a grand time. So much fun. Would love to do it again."
Ragatha looked at everywhere but Pomni. "Haha, yeah…"
She didn't know what else to say. Pomni just sort of nodded, and tried picking at her food to avoid the awkwardness.
Silence resumed between the three for quite a while, as the soft conversation from everyone at the table continued around them. Ragatha tried to focus on eating as well, to distract herself from whatever was obviously going on between her and Jax. Pomni couldn't help but occasionally glance at him with genuine worry heavy in her heart. She couldn't stop racking her brain at what might've gone wrong.
Breaking the long silence, Ragatha chose to speak up again. She slightly leaned in towards Pomni, keeping her voice low, for whatever reason.
"Hey, Pomni," she muttered. "If you would like… did you wanna go hang out and do something together after this, or —"
Jax slammed a fist on the table.
His plate and silverware rattled loudly.
Everybody went quiet. It was deafeningly quiet.
Fear and concern welled up in her chest so strongly that it created a great pit of discomfort within her. The silence was palpably thick, and it felt heavy on her entire body. She could hear her own heart pounding. Everybody just stared.
Without another word nor so much as a glance at them, Jax stood. He got up from his chair so abruptly that it scraped noisily across the floor behind him.
He stormed off towards the hall to his room. He disappeared around the corner.
Pomni didn't realize until after he left, that his fist on the table had been shaking. Her stare lingered on the hallway, as though if she stared for long enough, it would summon him and materialize him back.
Zooble scoffed, shattering the silence like a pane of glass.
"Geez, what crawled up his a#%s and died?" they deadpanned.
Gangle nervously cleared her throat, tapping her ribbon points together. "Maybe… maybe it's because we were on teams for once today? He didn't get to pick on me as much as usual…"
"There's no way it's that, Gangle," Zooble said softly, shaking their head. "Even if it was, that's his own d#$%n problem and he shouldn't be taking it out on everybody."
"A crawler bug?! Where?" Kinger blurted, looking around. He'd suddenly locked back in to the conversation at the wrong time. Zooble and Gangle both gently shook their heads and shrugged at him. He made a small noise of disappointment and his posture deflated.
Ragatha shook her head. "Jax is just being… well, Jax."
Pomni tried her best not to feel it, but irritation burned within her. She couldn't help it. She stared at Ragatha, who wouldn't meet her gaze.
"He's usually not like this," she said. "What happened today?"
Ragatha looked up then. "Yes, he is, Pomni! He's —" She stopped herself before getting more agitated. She sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't know what his problem was today."
So that's all she would say. Pomni narrowed her eyes at her. The ragdoll looked away again. Something was definitely wrong. Her heart smoldered with indignation.
"Fine," she said, "then I'll go figure it out myself."
She scooted away from the table, and hopped down from her seat. She took a step, turning to walk away.
"Pomni, wait…"
She turned around again.
Ragatha had one plush hand outstretched, as if to stop her. But after seeing the aggravated look in Pomni's eyes, she thought better of it. She retracted her hand, and shook her head.
"… Nevermind. Just… look after yourself, please."
Pomni nodded.
She turned back around, and walked away from the dinner table, headed towards the same hall that Jax had disappeared into.
Ragatha sighed with uncertainty.
The moment Pomni made it around the corner and out of sight, she hurried her pace down the hall. She had to restrain herself from flat out running. She wanted to, but she knew she had to keep a calm head about this. It would give her a bit of time to think about what'd happened anyway, on her way there.
Her mind was racing. She kept wondering what could've possibly happened that set Jax off so badly today, but she kept drawing blanks. She was aware that he seemed to be having a rougher time than usual… but this was so unlike him. Even if he was bothered by something, he was always so good at just shoving it off, seeming to ignore the problem entirely, just acting like nothing affected him at all with that trademark grin and nonchalant attitude of his.
Her heart pounded painfully as she thought. He was alone on a team with Ragatha today for the adventure… Was it something that Ragatha said, or did? She shook her head. There was no way it was that… right? The Ragatha that she knew was always so kind to her.
It hurt her to think that Ragatha could have done something, or said something to him. But… her mind's eye flashed with the way Jax's fist shook on the table. The way he seemed already pissed off about something but refused to elaborate on what it was. How unusually awkward and nervous Ragatha was, especially towards him. The way he exploded so easily at something simple that Ragatha said. Now that she thought about it, Pomni had never seen Jax so upset about something… so, what happened?
She guessed she would find out, sooner rather than later.
Pomni stopped before Jax's door.
She raised her hand to knock, but her second guessing stopped her.
What if he just wanted to be left alone? She understood that much, at least, because when she was this upset she didn't want to see the world at all. What if he didn't even want to tolerate her right now? She would understand that, too. Even if the thought of it made pain well up in her heart, she would still understand.
But…
She remembered how she felt that one night, weeks ago. She was so frightened by her recent arrival into the circus at the time. Everything was so overwhelming. She remembered how she'd felt so alone. How, despite how much she didn't want to, she was so desperate for comfort that she yearned for it from somebody else. Somebody to make her feel safe. Somebody to make her feel like she wasn't alone. Somebody to comfort her.
Maybe she could be that source of comfort for him.
Pomni knocked on Jax's door.
"Jax?" she called out softly.
She waited. She mentally counted to thirty. Nothing.
Her heart sank, but she wasn't giving up yet. She knocked again, a little harder this time.
"Jax!" she called. "It's Pomni. It's just me. I came alone."
Nothing. She waited again, for longer this time. She let the minutes pass.
"Jax, please. I'm not going anywhere until you let me in. I just wanna help."
Still no response.
There was no way he'd fallen asleep already and had taken a nap or something… 'Maybe he wasn't even in his room?' she thought dejectedly. Maybe he ran off somewhere else, wandering around the circus alone. Her heart sank even further.
She knocked again. "Jax."
Nothing.
He had to be somewhere else. Which made sense. It would ensure that he would be totally and completely left alone. He'd been stuck here way longer than her. He probably knew all the secret nooks and crannies to this place, where nobody would be able to randomly come across him, let alone intentionally find him.
Pomni sighed. Disappointment and regret felt heavy in her chest.
Maybe she would just have to try again later. She moved to walk away. She had no idea where she would go, though. She certainly didn't want to go back to the dinner table. Maybe she should go back to her room and curl up in her bed, wallowing in all her feelings of concern and dismay —
Jax's door opened.
Pomni almost jumped out of her skin at the noise she was least expecting. She'd barely made it past his doorway. She whipped around.
Jax was staring at her.
There was a sort of disturbed, haunted look to his eyes. Pomni felt uneasy. He just stared. She didn't know what to make of his somewhat crazed look.
She approached him warily. "Jax…?"
He glanced up and down the hallway, as though making sure she was telling the truth, and there really was nobody else with her.
He startled her by grabbing her wrist and abruptly dragging her into his room.
"Jax! What —"
He shut his door. She heard him make sure it was locked.
Jax stood before her. He just kept staring. Pomni tried her best not to feel unsettled by the way he was looking at her. She felt like she was teetering on a tightrope, and one wrong move would make everything come tumbling down.
Now that she was up close, she noticed that he was trembling. It didn't matter how much he tried to hide it behind clenched fists. His brows were drawn together in a slight scowl, his ears pointed back. He just stared at her. He didn't say anything. It felt like he wanted to, but didn't know what to say. Pomni nervously rubbed at the back of her head.
"Are… are you okay?" she gently asked.
His expression seemed to tighten. His brows furrowed even deeper. He remained silent. She backtracked, putting her hands up, realizing the error she'd made.
"No, wait, sorry. Don't answer that. It was a stupid question — !"
Her words caught in her throat. Jax grabbed her by the shoulders. Tightly.
She felt his fingers digging into her skin. But she was more concerned about what was right before her at the moment.
He was breathing heavily. Being so close to him, she could hear him take in each and every breath. He looked so upset, and so hurt. His brow wrinkled with distress, his eyes filled with despair. His lip began to tremble. Pomni was taken aback at what she saw.
Tears welled up in his eyes.
Jax roughly pulled her forward into a crushing hug.
Pomni made a little noise of shock into his chest, but she certainly wasn't going to stop him or push him away. He looked like he really needed one.
He wrapped his arms around her completely, bending down to surround her with his body and his arms. He nuzzled his face hard into the crook between her neck and shoulder. He held onto her so tightly that it hurt. As though if he let go of her, even for just a second, she would disappear into dust between his fingers and he would lose her forever. She reached up and hugged him back, trying her best to wrap her tiny arms around his larger form, pulling him even closer to her.
He sobbed.
He sobbed again. And again. And again.
Pomni held Jax as he sobbed openly into her shoulder. His fingers clung desperately onto her clothing. She moved one hand up and down his back, rubbing him softly, trying her best to comfort him. He fell apart in her arms. All she could do was hold him as he cried hard against her.
He couldn't stop sobbing. It was the most heartwrenching sound she had ever heard in her life. She almost wanted to cry with him, it broke her heart so much. His shoulders shook as he sobbed. She felt the wetness of his tears against her neck as he cried in her arms.
"It's okay, Jax," Pomni murmured soothingly. "It's okay. I'm here for you, I'm here."
"I'm sorry," he whimpered, "I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry…"
"Jax, it's okay, you're okay."
She just held him as he cried. His sobs turned into pitiful little whimpers. He eventually seemed to have gotten it all out, or at least the majority of it. She kept rubbing his back, whispering soft words of comfort to him.
She couldn't help but remember how he'd held her that one night, when she cried against his chest in very much the same way as he was against her now. How gentle and understanding he was, despite how embarrassed she felt. She only felt her care for him deepen so much further. She wanted to be there for him, always, the same way he was there for her.
Even as his crying seemingly calmed down, she still held him. She let him take all the time he needed. He sniffled, his breath hitching.
"Pomni…" His voice shook and was quiet against her shoulder. "Do… do you think I'm a jerk to you?"
"What?"
Pomni pulled away from him, deliberately trying to look into his eyes and get a good look at him. Jax let her pull away, but he was clearly embarrassed and ashamed of himself. She kept her hands on his arms. He couldn't meet her gaze, and looked at the floor. He was a mess. His cheeks were wet, his breathing shaky, and tears still welled in his eyes.
"Jax. Look at me."
He grimaced. He relented at first for several long moments. But he always listened to her. Not anybody else, just her. With great reluctance, he dragged his gaze up to meet hers. She looked into his teary eyes.
"I don't think you're a jerk to me," she said gently. "Sure, you may have your moments, but I have my moments, too. I think everybody here does."
She paused in thought, and her gaze turned adoring. She gave him a small smile. "In fact, you've been more kind to me than most of the others."
But his pouty look remained, and it seemed that he had a hard time believing her. He looked away, his embarrassment overcoming him, then remembered he was supposed to be keeping his gaze with her, and looked up again.
"Do you… do you think that I'm manipulating you?" he asked weakly.
Pomni blinked, dumbfounded. "What? Where did you even get the idea — ah, nevermind."
She took both of his hands in hers. She gripped them tightly. Looking somewhat astonished, Jax glanced down at their hands together. He gripped her back just as tightly, meeting her eyes.
"You. Aren't. Manipulating. Me." Pomni gave him a confident stare. "Okay? You know me, Jax. I'm not afraid to tell you if I don't like something."
He nodded feebly, yet glanced away, his uncertainty and shame overcoming him again. "Are you sure? You… you don't hate me?"
"Jax."
He sheepishly glanced up.
"I don't hate you. I promise." Her tone was tender and forgiving.
"You promise?"
Pomni nodded slowly.
"Yes. Actually, I…"
Now it was her turn to look shy. She averted her gaze, as a slight dusting of pink spread across her cheeks.
"I really care about you, Jax."
He froze in astonishment, his eyes wide. He was blushing. He was actually blushing. It was as though she'd broken him, the way he just kind of stared at her in amazement for a few moments. Then, finally, he seemed to relax. It was visible in how the tension fled his shoulders, and the way his ears perked up.
"I really care about you too, Pomni."
She gently took him by the hand, and led them over to his bed. He sat down easily on the edge, but his bed was so high that Pomni had to jump and scramble her way to the top. He couldn't help a slight snicker at the sight. She sat down next to him, her legs dangling off the edge.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened today?" she asked tenderly.
Just the mere mention of it made him wince, and he shook his head. He leaned back on the bed. His breath hitched as he sighed, still shaky from crying so hard.
"Not really."
"Okay… what made you ask all those questions, anyway?"
He stared off into space, as though remembering. When he looked at her again, his gaze was forlorn. "I — I just wanted to hear it from you specifically, from your words. I just wanted to make sure."
"Make sure of what, Jax?" she said, looking confused. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I know, just —" The words died on his tongue. He looked troubled, staring at the floor. "It's nothing. Nevermind. Sorry."
"Jax. What happened?" she pressed.
He sighed again. Several long moments passed. His stare remained at his feet. Er, paws.
"It's just stupid Ragatha crap, okay?" he grumbled. "She just has something against me, and I guess it just got to me. It was stupid of me to get upset over. That's all."
But Pomni was smart enough to put two and two together. She recalled the growing irritation she'd felt with Ragatha earlier at the dinner table.
"Did… she say those things to you? About me?" she asked.
Jax shifted to cross his arms and slouch. He nodded. His voice was barely audible.
"She thinks I'm taking you away from her."
"Taking me away from —" she spluttered. "Oh my god. I'm gonna have to have a talk with her later."
She grabbed one of his hands despite his crossed arms. He warily glanced at her.
"Jax, I am my own person. I choose who I want to be. I choose who I want to be with. I'm not an 'item' to be won over, or doled across shareholders with ownership. I am me." She looked unwaveringly into his eyes. "And if I choose that I want to be with you, and not her sometimes, that is not her responsibility nor her problem. She's not my only friend, and she needs to understand that. Okay?"
He looked her over, and motioned to himself with the hand that wasn't holding hers. "You sure this is who you wanna choose to be with? I'm no prime cut of meat."
She nodded assuredly. "Yes. There's so much more to you that I don't think even you see in yourself."
Jax averted his gaze, shaking his head.
"You're right, I don't see a whole lot of anything in myself. But I'll take your word for it."
She brought his hand closer to her, to hover over where her heart would be. He side eyed her. She smiled at him.
"You will one day. I'll help you. It's what's in here that matters most. I know you've got it in you there somewhere."
He lightly scoffed, his expression lightening as his mood improved.
"What, my non-existent ribcage?"
"No, you big-eared doofus. Your heart."
He gave her a doting look. Their heartbeats thrummed together as one in the silence as they stared into each other's eyes. Jax squeezed her hand, and Pomni squeezed back. For the first time that night since they'd gotten back from the adventure, Jax smiled, even if it was a sheepish one.
She could only internally wish, that she would be lucky enough to experience these close little moments with him more often. It only furthered her feelings towards him, and she hoped that he felt the same. It made her heart race, and it made her feel alive.
Jax made her feel alive.
And right then he had to go and shatter the romantic moment by opening his mouth and exposing his sharp shark-like teeth in a deep yawn. He yawned exaggeratedly on purpose. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand, letting go of her to lean back and stretch so hard that it made him shudder.
"Aww, is somebody sleepy?" Pomni teased.
"Shut up," Jax said gently, but he didn't really mean it. He was grinning. "I can't lie to you, though… I am pretty exhausted. I don't know why everything's been taking so much of a toll on me lately. Maybe I'm just going through my man period or something."
She giggled. There was the Jax that she knew.
But she also knew that he probably wanted to be left alone for the night. Pushing down her disappointment, she moved to slide down off his bed.
"Well, all right then. I'll let you get some rest and get out of your hair…"
She froze. His hand clutched her arm, halting her before she could leave him. She glanced at his face.
It shocked her to see that he almost looked afraid. There was a wanting, desperate look in his eyes.
"Please don't go," he pleaded, "don't leave." He looked away, ashamed at his own perceived weakness. "You can… you can stay the night again, if you want. If that's okay with you. Just… stay with me, just for the night."
Pomni couldn't help but smile.
"Of course, Jax. It's okay. I was…" she blushed, "you know… kind of, maybe hoping that you'd maybe say something like that."
He grinned bashfully, letting her go, meeting her gaze. She saw relief flood his form. But now that he knew she actually wanted to, and his worst fears weren't confirmed, it was his turn to do the teasing. As though he wasn't just practically begging her to spend the night with him.
"So, you were hoping this whole time that I'd let you into my bed? Geez, Pomni, you're such a little freak. At least take me out to dinner first."
"What the hell, Jax, you're the one who — hey!"
Her breath caught in her throat. He gently tackled her, grabbing her around the waist, and bringing her further onto the bed with him.
He scooted them up until both his and her head were laying on his fluffy purple pillows. Surprise filled her as he pulled her back close to his chest, snuggling against her, with one arm wrapped around her. She felt his comforting body heat spread warmth across her back. He was like a living furnace.
Her heart raced. She couldn't believe he was… actually doing this. That he felt close enough to her and comfortable enough with her to interact closely like this. Not that she was complaining. Maybe he really did feel the same fondness back as she did towards him. She couldn't help but slightly squirm happily in his grip, as true bliss overtook her.
Jax reached down, grabbing one of his thick blankets and pulling it over them. He sighed contentedly from somewhere above her.
"You're okay with this, right?" he asked insecurely. As though he hadn't just grabbed her up like his own personal plushie doll.
Pomni nodded, knowing he would feel it. "Yes, this is okay. I… wouldn't mind doing this more often."
He made a soothed little grunt in his throat. "Me either."
"Goodnight, Jax."
"Goodnight, Pomni…" He sounded like he was already drifting off.
She stared off into space, as she felt her mental capacity for thought dwindling as well. Usually while laying in bed, she reflected on the day's events and her thoughts and feelings concerning it all, but she realized that she felt tired enough that her brain turned to mush just thinking about it. She was sleepy, too. Her eyes felt heavy. It certainly helped her feel more relaxed, having Jax behind her, holding her, with one arm draped over her side.
"Jax?" she mumbled.
He didn't respond. She felt his breathing behind her, slow and tranquil. He was already asleep.
She softly chuckled to herself.
"Goodnight, you big softie," she said.
Pomni joined him, and fell asleep, too.