Chapter Text
“보고 싶은 생각에
(In thoughts of missing you)
들어간 우리 창에
(I open our chat)나는 말을 거는데
(I’m putting words)
보내지는 않을래(But I won’t send them)
느린 한마디보다
(I prefer silence)
조용함이 더 좋아(Over slow words)
기다리고 있지만
(I’m waiting)
매일 이런 건 아냐
(But im not like this everyday)
-NewJeans “Hurt” (2022)
It was just another normal day at Kamiyama High.
An Shiraishi had to stay a little late after school because a teacher asked for her help. Once she was finally done, she started packing up her things.
She was walking down the hallway when she overheard a conversation.
“So, why did you want me to come here?”
An froze. That was… Akito’s voice?
“Umm, uh… so…
Shinonome-kun… I’ve had these… strange feelings for you for a while now…
And since we’re in the same class, it’s been hard to ignore them…”
…
Did she just hear some random girl from her class confess to Akito?
She kept listening, but the next thing she heard made her brain stop working.
“Oh, um, yeah, ’bout that, I’m sorry, but I like someone else right now…”
he said while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
…
”What..?”
An stood there like a mannequin. The guy she’d had a crush on for months just admitted he liked someone else.
And honestly, how was she supposed to react? They were just friends. She had no right to feel jealous. He didn’t even see her as anything more than a friend or a teammate.
Still, that small ache in her chest grew sharper as she kept listening.
“Oh, r-right… you and I aren’t even friends, s-so I guess I should’ve expected that. I’m really sorry… but… can I ask…
Like, what do you like about her?”
The ache inside An’s chest was spreading. She knew she couldn’t stand there much longer, but she needed to hear his answer.
“Well… I guess she’s really confident. I like how she’s always so cheerful. And her smile… I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
That was it. An couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like her chest might burst.
She turned and walked quickly down the hall toward the exit, overthinking everything she had just heard.
But one question kept spinning in her mind:
Who could it be? She needed to know who he was talking about.
Maybe it was someone in their class—someone she never talked to, but he did.
Or maybe someone he met outside of school, someone she didn’t even know existed.
Or maybe…
…
No.
She had to stop herself before she got the wrong idea—because in the end, she knew she was the one who would end up hurt.
This was An’s plan:
Distance herself from Akito little by little, until her feelings eventually faded away.
(Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen. Lmao.)
Monday was just around the corner, and An had no choice but to go to school. She and Akito were in the same class, and she sat right behind him. No matter how badly she wanted to skip, she couldn’t—her grades were already slipping, and if she didn’t improve, she’d end up stuck in extra classes.
So there she was, sitting at her desk, wishing she could just skip school every day until she died. But of course, life wasn’t that easy.
When the break started, An went to meet some of her friends. From a distance, she spotted Akito talking to a group of classmates. The way he laughed with them made something twist in her chest. And every now and then, it almost felt like his eyes flicked toward her. But every time that happened, she quickly looked away.
When the break ended, An was walking back to class when she suddenly heard her name.
“Hey, An. Do you know what class we’ve got next?”
Her heart skipped a beat, but she forced herself to stay cold.
“No, I don’t.”
She gave him a dry, clipped answer and turned away, hurrying back to the classroom.
Akito blinked, confused. What just happened? Since Friday, something had shifted. An wouldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore. At practice, it was like he didn’t even exist.
He followed her back into the classroom and leaned toward her desk.
“Hey. Is something wrong with you? You’ve been distant since last week.”
“…Oh, I-I’m fine. Just… tired.”
“…”
“U sure?”
“Y-yeah, don’t worry about it.”
Later that day, as An walked home, her guilt hit her like a wave. She didn’t want to make him feel bad—but she also didn’t want to be the one who ended up crying at the end of the story.
So she pulled out her phone and finally started typing something.
An:
hey, sorry ’bout earlier, wanna hang out tmrw? (➤)
…
But the moment she finished writing, she stared at the screen… then deleted the message.
Maybe keeping her distance would hurt less in the long run.
Right?
So there was An, trying to figure out who this girl was—until she thought she’d finally discovered it.
Akito and his new friend, Miyu.
Akito had known Miyu since elementary school, but then she moved out of the city with her family. Now, she was living with a relative who lived close to the school.
And yeah, An knew they were just friends, but… she couldn’t stop thinking about it without getting mad.
An was so jealous she didn’t even want to talk to him anymore. Akito started to notice, but whenever he asked why, her answers were always the same:
“Sorry, I’m just tired.”
Or, “I’m busy, that’s all.”
Akito didn’t know what to do. An was mad at him—furious, even—and he had no idea why.
It was killing him.
He’d had a crush on An for over a year, and now, out of nowhere, she was pulling away from him like he meant nothing.
But on Friday, everything changed.
That day, Akito and Miyu had to stay late for sports club.
And to make matters worse for An, she did too.
While she was walking down the hall looking for something the teacher had asked her to get, she saw them.
“Omg, can’t they be like three meters apart?” she whispered to herself, turning around and walking the other way, rolling her eyes.
But as she did, Akito saw her.
“Hey, An!”
She stopped walking. She really didn’t want to talk to him—but honestly, it was better than letting them talk and talk and taaaalk all day.
So she turned around and walked toward them.
“Hi, Akito. So, umm… do u need something?”
“Kind of… Miyu, could u leave us alone for a moment?”
“Okay! No problem.”
Miyu walked away, and somehow, An felt a little relieved.
“So, what do you want?” An asked.
“You’ve been really distant since Friday. Did I do something wrong or anything?”
Her heart started racing, but somehow, she managed to stay calm.
“No, u didn’t do anything bad. I just didn’t feel like talking.”
“Oh, I get it. Don’t worry. But, um… can I give u something before you leave?”
She had no idea what he was talking about, but she accepted anyway.
“Okay?”
Suddenly, he leaned in and kissed her.
It was a quick kiss—it didn’t last more than five seconds—but maybe those were the best five seconds of her life.
When he pulled back, she froze.
“WHAT—OMG, DID U JUST KISS ME?”
“Umm… maybe? Idk.”
His face was red like a tomato, and she couldn’t understand how he was staying so calm.
“Any comments?” Akito asked while smiling.
“…”
“I’ll take that as a ‘I liked it, please do it again.’”
“WAIT, WHAT—?!”
And he kissed her again, this time longer.
When they finally pulled back, An felt dizzy.
“Akito… u can’t just kiss me out of nowhere. Like—actually—why did u do that?”
“Maybe because I like you? I thought it was obvious.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“But, like… and Miyu?”
“She’s just a friend. That’s all, An.”
She suddenly realized all the scenarios she’d made up in her head were stupid.
“Yeah, but like… all the things you said about the person you liked when that girl was confessing and—”
“What?”
Oh.
She had just betrayed herself.
“IT’S NOT WHAT U IMAGINE, IT’S JUST THAT—”
“You eavesdropped when that girl confessed to me, didn’t you?”
“…”
She wanted the universe to swallow her whole.
“Yeah, but like—”
“So that’s why u were ignoring me all week.”
“…Yes.”
Akito chuckled softly and leaned closer.
“So, you were just… jealous.”
“Yeah. Now stop it.”
He just hugged her.
“You know that we’re dating now, right?”
“…Are we? Like, seriously?”
“Yes, we are. And u won’t have to worry about any other girl. I only have eyes for u, okay?”
An got flustered.
“Oh my—u can be really clingy when you want. Stop it or I’ll pass out.”
That only made him want to tease her more.
“Can I kiss you again… please?”
He reaaaally knew how to get on her nerves.
“AKITO—
UUUGHHH… YES, YES YOU CAN, BUT—”
And he leaned down again, kissing her.