Chapter Text
There can be no place for magic in Camelot.
It’s at the tip of Merlin’s tongue.
Arthur had asked for the Disir to spare Mordred’s life after he was wounded while saving Arthur’s life. The Disir had responded:
If you wish to save all you hold dear -
If you wish to save your kingdom -
Embrace the Old Religion -
Learn her ways -
Bow to the Goddess -
It seemed a clear exchange. Arthur allows magic in Camelot, and Mordred will live.
After they left the cave and made up a makeshift camp, Arthur had voiced his own opinions - mostly how much he was struggling to decide. Allowing magic in Camelot seemed impossible. It went against everything his father stood for, and Arthur himself had seen time and again the pain that magic caused, both to himself and to others.
So he does what he always does when he’s feeling lost.
Ask for Merlin’s opinion.
But Merlin’s mind is even more of a mess than Arthur’s. For him, it is a choice between his destiny, and Arthur’s life. Allowing magic into Camelot would fulfill his destiny, but allowing Mordred to live would doom Arthur.
“Merlin?” Arthur prods when Merlin doesn’t respond. “What do you think?”
You don’t know what you’re asking me, Merlin wants to sob. He wants to scream, wants to let his magic out and he wants to pound the Earth in front of him with his fists.
How was he expected to advise Arthur in times such as these?
Of course, his first instinct is, as always, to save Arthur. It would be so easy to convince Arthur that magic does not belong in Camelot, even if that condemns one of his knights to death.
But.
But the Disir had never explicitly said the choice would be for Mordred’s life. If you wish to save your Kingdom, they had said.
Could it be that easy? Could fulfilling his destiny change the course of Mordred and Arthur's combined fate? If magic returned to the kingdom, perhaps there would be no reason for Mordred to kill Arthur.
"Perhaps," Merlin says slowly, carefully, each word being filtered through his brain to ensure he’s not giving himself away. "It wouldn't be the worst thing to allow magic back into Camelot."
Arthur's eyes narrow, not in menace, but in consideration. "But what of all the evil sorcerers we have met?"
“Have you considered,” Merlin says “That you only meet evil sorcerers, full of hatred and revenge, because they have been persecuted for so long?”
Arthur is silent, but he’s watching Merlin closely.
Merlin continues, “The good magic users, those who used their magic for good or ordinary purposes, would have stopped during and after the purge. So you only meet those who seek revenge. But allowing magic back into Camelot,” Merlin has to push the words out of his mouth, they sound so foreign to him, “would allow innocent magic users to show up once more.”
Arthur nods his head, not necessarily in agreement, but to show he’s listening. “You don’t think magic corrupts,” he says, and it’s not a question, not after what Merlin has just said.
“No,” Merlin says, heart pounding, and he thinks this is as truthful as he has ever been with Arthur.
“What about Morgana?” Arthur asks. “She wasn’t evil, not to start.”
Merlin looks away. He feels a sense of guilt whenever Morgana is brought up. His actions directly brought about her betrayal. If he had confessed to her, showed her his magic and became a confidant for her, perhaps she wouldn’t be an enemy of the kingdom.
“It’s not magic that corrupted her,” Merlin explains, staring off at the trees in the distance. “It was fear, and anger. She let it consume her.”
“You’re saying my father was wrong? That he caused more harm than good?”
“Yes,” Merlin says immediately.
Arthur lets out a quick laugh. “You’ve certainly never shied away from insulting the king, Merlin.”
“He’s not king anymore, Arthur. You are.”
Arthur nods, but doesn’t reply. They sit in silence for another hour or so, before Arthur stands up. Merlin stands up as well, and follows Arthur into the cave of the Disir.
“You have returned,” One of the Disir says.
“Is your decision made?” Another asks.
“It is. I will lift the ban on magic, so magic users can once more live freely in Camelot.”
“A decision well made.”
“Your fate is changed.”
“You have saved all that you hold dear.”
“Farewell, Arthur Pendragon.”
Merlin desperately wants to ask questions - what does the Disir mean that his fate is changed? Do they mean Mordred will not kill Arthur? But he cannot risk it, cannot ensure that the Disir will not expose him as a warlock to Arthur.
So he walks out after Arthur, and they silently pack up their makeshift camp and hop up on their horses to leave.
“I can’t help but worry,” Arthur says as they trot back to Camelot. “Did I do the right thing? Trading the future of my kingdom for one man. Some would call me weak.”
“I think your empathy is your greatest strength, Arthur,” Merlin says.
“It won’t be easy to convince the Court to lift the ban,” Arthur continues. “Half of them have been on the court since my father became king.”
“But you are their king now,” Merlin reminds him. “Make them listen to you.”
They trot in silence for a moment before Arthur responds, “Thank you, Merlin. If you weren’t here - I don’t know what I would have done.”
“Careful, Sire,” Merlin says in a tease. “That almost sounded like a compliment.”
“Did it? You must have misheard.”
*****
As they approach the stables outside of the castle, a figure comes walking towards them.
“Mordred!” Arthur calls as he recognizes his knight. He hops off his horse and hands the reins to a stable boy before rushing over to the young knight. Merlin dismounts and another stable boy comes up to him. “Hey Arnold,” Merlin says as he hands over the reins.
Arnold grins at him, “Hey Merlin,” he says before leading the horse into the stables for food and drink.
Merlin turns to look at Arthur and Mordred, who are chatting about Mordred’s health. He walks closer and hears Mordred explain, “I just woke up a few hours ago feeling much better, and the wound was healed! I heard that I have you to thank for my health.” He’s grinning, and looks pleased. “Thank you Sire, truly.”
“Of course Mordred. You are one of my knights, it is my duty to take care of you,” Arthur says, slapping a hand on Mordred’s shoulder.
Merlin joins them silently, but Mordred is quick to greet him. “Merlin!” Mordred says eagerly, with a tentative smile. “Welcome back. And thank you as well.”
Merlin nods, but doesn’t say anything. He wishes he could let it go, and accept that Mordred is no longer a threat, but there’s no way to be sure. He must still be on guard. He will have to talk to Kilgarrah later, and see what he thinks of what the Disir said.
Mordred’s smile dims slightly at Merlin’s silence. Arthur is quick to fill the silence. “Mordred, now that you’re feeling better, could I task you with gathering my knights of the round table? There’s something I wish to discuss.”
*****
The usual group crowds around the round table, Lancelot, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan, Gauis, Guinevere, Mordred, and Arthur.
Merlin, of course, is standing behind and slightly to the right of Arthur.
“When I went to the Disir, I was met with a choice,” Arthur explains. “Let magic back into Camelot, or let Sir Mordred die.”
There are a few gasps from around the room, everyone tenses up and looks to Mordred, who’s staring at Arthur with wide eyes.
Arthur smiles at him. “I choose my knight. I am going to lift the ban on magic.”
The room descends into slight chaos as everyone voices their opinions.
“Truly?” Mordred says over the noise. He glances between Arthur and Merlin.
Merlin hesitates for a second before nodding.
Mordred’s eyes widen. Then a smile lights up his face. Emrys you’ve done it! Mordred says directly into Merlin’s head.
Merlin holds back a flinch. He hates when Mordred does that, especially when there are others around. He ignores Mordred, looking away as the others share their opinions.
“Sire, are you certain about this?” Elyan asks, sounding skeptical. “Magic has taken a lot from us over the years.”
“I think it’s a fine idea,” Lancelot insists, and there's a tentative smile on his lips. “Magic is not inherently corrupt.”
“But what if a sorcerer attempts treason?”
“Then they would be tried for treason,” Arthur steps in. “But sorcery will no longer be a death sentence.”
Elyan sinks slightly in his seat. “Alright, If you think that is best, my lord.”
Arthur considers this. “I'll admit to being unsure about it, but I have already made the agreement. For now, I need you all on my side as I introduce the idea to my court, and to the other knights. I ask that if anyone has hesitations or questions, you speak to them and explain.”
“What shall we tell them, my Lord?” Leon asks.
Arthur tilts his head to the side. Then he turns to Merlin. “Merlin!” He barks out. “You had some good thoughts about magic earlier. What would you say if someone questioned lifting the ban?”
Merlin blinks, and his heartbeat thunders in his chest as everyone turns to him. He meets Gaius's gaze, who is staring at him with eyebrows raised. “Oh, I wouldn't- I mean, I don't-” he stumbles over his words.
Arthur waves a hand at him. “Please, Merlin, speak freely. This is a safe environment,” he says magnanimously.
Merlin takes a deep breath as everyone watches him. “Alright,” he says, taking a step forward. “I suppose if a knight is questioning lifting the ban, I would explain that Magic is a tool, much like the sword. It can be used to protect, as the knights of Camelot use their swords to protect their city. It can also be used for evil, just as bandits use their swords to attack and rob. It is not magic itself that is good, or evil, but the heart of the sorcerer, and how they decide to use magic.
“Right now, because of the purge, only the angry and vengeful people practice magic, but if we lift the ban, people will be able to use magic for good again. They can help crops grow, heal illnesses, light fires, and do so much good.”
The room is silent for a moment after Merlin speaks, and Merlin shifts uncomfortably. Then Gwaine snorts good naturedly.
“Let's just have Merlin talk to whoever questions the Princess,” Gwaine says, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. “Sounds like he knows what he's talking about.”
Merlin flushes.
“Yes,” Arthur says, looking at Merlin curiously. “Hopefully that helps. We can tell people magic is a tool, just like the sword.”
After a little more back and forth, Arthur dismisses the round table.
As Arthur stays put, Merlin does as well, waiting as people file out. A few step over to say goodbye to Merlin, Lancelot clasps a hand on his shoulder with a grand smile, while Guinevere takes his hand in hers and says he has a wonderful way with words. Gauis tells him he'll see him back at the Physician's quarters, and Merlin presumes they'll have much to talk about. Mordred nods at him, though it's closer to a bow. He also telepathically tells Merlin. You've fulfilled your destiny, Emrys. Thank you, truly.
Once everyone leaves, Arthur stays seated, tapping at the table. “Sire?” Merlin prompts, still standing behind him.
“Take a seat Merlin,” Arthur says, and Merlin does so silently. “Your speech earlier. It was well done.”
“Oh, I wouldn't call it a speech,” Merlin says, fumbling with his words.
“I would. It sounded like you've been thinking about it for a while.” Arthur's eyes search Merlin's.
Merlin just shrugs in response, heart hammering in his chest.
Arthur is silent for a moment. “How long have you had these thoughts? About magic?”
“Arthur, I…” Merlin trails off, looking away. How could he possibly explain?
“Please, Merlin,” Arthur says quietly. “How long have you believed magic doesn't corrupt?”
“I've never believed it does,” Merlin says truthfully, and it feels like a weight has fallen from him.
Arthur's eyebrows raise. “You've always thought magic to be good?” He clarifies.
“Not good,” Merlin corrects. “Not evil. People are good and evil. Magic just is.”
Arthur is silent for a moment as he digests this. “All this time,” he says softly. “Why did you never tell me your thoughts?”
Merlin bites his lip. It's a complicated web he's weaving, explaining his thoughts on magic while not explaining his own magic. But he can't tell Arthur about his magic, not yet. He's not ready. “I - I'm sorry Arthur, but it's against the law. Anything I said would have been treason. I didn't want to make you choose between the laws of Camelot and -” and me.
Arthur nods, though his gaze is distant. “Very well. But it will not be against the law much longer, so consider yourself free to discuss anything with me.”
Merlin bites his lip, his heart yearning for exactly that, but knowing it would never be that simple. Not after everything Merlin has done, all the lies he's told, the secrets he's kept. “Yes, sire,” he says instead of anything else swirling around his mind.
"Good," Arthur nods. "Now, I believe it's time you mucked out the stables. Oh, and my armor needs shining, and my boots need washing..."
"Yes, yes, I get it," Merlin says, but he's smiling. Perhaps one day, he could work up the nerve to tell Arthur. Until then - well.
He had a dragon to visit.