Work Text:
It shocked Clark to his very being the first time you made a joke that if Perry didn’t go your pick your picture for the front cover you would kill yourself. The look on his face gave him away immediately, Jimmy explaining that it is just something you always joke about. How he wouldn’t believe what you said when the Metropolis Meteors lost a playoff game on a passed ball. He didn’t understand why everyone just moved on after you made that statement and how casually you said it.
Clark started noticing after that the low opinion you seemingly had of yourself. It was always said with a joking tone, how the photo opportunity was so perfect that anyone could have taken it when he knew first hand how much you worked to get the opportunity. Any compliment you would either brush off or give a quick thanks and then shift the attention elsewhere. Every time he tried to bring it up to Lois or Jimmy he struggled to put into words his worry. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
Over time you shifted from being a work colleague to being a friend to being in a relationship and yet Clark was still stuck. He didn’t know how to bring it up without you blowing him off like you always did when he tried to respond back to a jab you made at yourself. How not noticing a typo in an email didn’t mean you were stupid, it just meant you were human. You were the first to give others grace but the last to extend the same courtesy to yourself. What seemed to work was being. It all came to a head when you got reamed in the bullpen. Clark clocked it immediately. Your acceptance, how every good thing in the next few weeks would be diminished because of this one moment. When Perry finished yelling everyone was dismissed and Clark knew where you were going, there’s an empty office that has become the office’s safe haven when someone needs to really focus or just get away from the noise for a moment.Clark knew you were upset but the look of defeat on your tear stricken face made him feel like he just got punched in the stomach by ultraman.
“I can’t do this anymore, I’m not made for this. This - this isn’t -. I can’t take it Clark”. You were gasping for air between words.
“Hey hey, match my breathing baby. Breathe with me”, he took one of your hands and placed it over his heart. He slowly saw you come back into yourself.
“I… I don’t know what to do here. I’m at a loss”
“Let’s not decide anything right now, the wound is still fresh.” Clark pulled you into him, you had confided in him when you first started dating how comforting his hugs were. “I don’t like how he did spoke to you in front of everyone. He could have easily pulled you aside and -”
“I deserved it. I’m not good enough”
“No you-”
“It’s true Clark! You don’t -”
Clark pulled back a little so he could see your face. “Sweetheart, your worth isn’t defined by this or any other misstep. You’re a talented photographer, you’re a talented person regardless of what you do. You have people rooting for you, I’m rooting for you. I’ll tell you everyday for the rest of our lives how loved you are.”
After he finished his impassioned speech he was met with silence and then you wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug.
“Thank you Clark, thank you”