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It was a quiet day in the atelier.
The wind was whistling in their ears and clouds were passing by in the sky, blinding the sun, signalizing an approaching rain. Better to be prepared than caught off guard, as seen as Professor decided their classes would be inside.
As Qifrey was busy making lunch, the four girls were instructed to study by themselves.
The start of a soft sound of gentle raindrops enveloped their senses, it was comforting.
The still atmosphere continued, echoes of paper scribes, book pages turning, cutlery being used. Until a faint smell of food hit her, it was heavenly.
Already distracted, Coco decided that for now study time was over, closing her book carefully, organizing the papers she used, and finally getting up. Looking at the others the girl noticed that they were all too focused on their task, better not disturb them.
But as she was making her way to the kitchen, a loud noise was heard, a thud and pans and pots hitting the ground, Qifrey, was her immediate thought. Picking up her pace, the sight Coco saw sent her into panic. Master was in the ground clutching his head with so much force his knuckles were white, a pained expression painted on his face, whatever he was making long forgotten as it had fallen into the floor, making a mess on his clothes.
Rushing in and kneeling down close to him, Coco carefully tried gripping his wrists to try and separate it from his hair.
“Professor, did-did something happen?” She didn’t even recognize her own voice, so quiet and shaky. She should call Professor Olruggio but, how could she just leave the white haired man here alone?
Her touches and voice didn’t affect him, as there was no response, and as seconds or minutes, she didn’t know, passed he seemed more and more hurt. Curling more into himself, his trembling worsening, one of the hands trailing down to his right eye. Now actually paying attention, Qifrey didn’t have his spectacles on. Making the scar visible.
Looking away from her Professor, she tried finding someone, anyone that could help her, yet none of the girls were there. As worlds began to form in her mouth to call for aid, a gut-retching sound came from her mentor, turning quickly, she saw it.
It was small, a tiny branch had pierced the skin on master Qifrey’s eye, what was supposed to be blood she guessed, was a black like liquid, running down his face falling into his perfect white robes, tainting him. But it was merciless, what started as a “trivial” size now was growing, consuming her Mentor's face.
What magic would stop this? Erasing his memory or… destroying his sanctuary, her mind reminded her. She can’t do that with him, she can’t have a repetition of what happened with Custas, yet this… It was just like Custas.
It was just like Custas.
It was just like Custas.
It was just like Custas over again, and once more Coco was useless .
An ear-piercing scream disturbed the stillness. Tears filled her eyes, and what before was her master's face was now a blur of white and black, and all she could remember was his gentle smile that always calmed her down. Where was it now? Why was her professor suffering like this? Why does someone so kind have to suffer this much?
She closed her eyes, scrubbing the tears out of her face, when opening them, she glanced towards him, yet her breath was robbed from her lungs, the despair she had felt before was nothing compared to now, because Qifrey, the man that saved her and gave her hope, had turned into a full fledged Silverwood tree.
Coco could see him as the core of the tree, an expression so peaceful, as if he could finally rest. Yet looking down the sight was nothing close to peaceful, sitting at his roots was… everyone, Agott, Richeh, Tetia and Olruggio. Surrounding them was a pool of bright red blood, painting the white of the Silverwood.
But as abruptly as the scene came, Professor Olruggio eyes opened, staring at her with an intensity that made her curl up, his bright blue eyes once comforting now were intimidating. For the first time she was actually terrified of him.
Then his emotionless voice echoed around them “His sanctuary is gone, he’ll be back to himself without him losing his memories again”.
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Coco woke up panting, the first thing she notices is the floatglow lamp illuminating them and a soft orange hue to the sky, hurting her eyes from their intensity.
She heard a small chatter close by, but couldn’t care less.
Tears were flowing down her face, her lungs felt like they didn’t have enough air, her blanket was caging her, it was suffocating. Sitting up, she couldn't think straight, when she closed her eyes all she saw was Qifrey with a branch out of his face and, his black blood, Ink she realized, swimming down his face.
Then a hand touches hers, and she flinches violently. Opening her eyes, she sees Agott looking at her, worry written on her face. Right, Coco had forgotten they were all sleeping side by side, with how restless she was, she must have woken up the black haired girl.
“C…Coco?” Agott whispered, her voice laced with fear. Hesitating yet carefully she enveloped Coco’s hand in hers and squeezed. “w… what-what happened?” And it was obvious that she was trying her best to comfort her. Yet Coco couldn't speak, worlds didn't leave her mouth no matter how much she tried, all she could do was sob.
Looking away from her, she could see two figures on her side, one with distinctive black clothes and the other with white. And as ironic as it is, even with how much she wanted to see them both, now looking at them, it made her dizzy.
With a hand on her mouth, she slowly looks up, but she can’t help but flinch when she catches Qifrey’s face, and Olruggio's eyes. It sends her into panic once again, clutching her eyes and curling on herself.
“Coco” Qifrey speaks lightly, as if talking with an animal that’s close to escaping, but it brings comfort nonetheless, wasn’t this what she wanted in her dream?
“Can I touch you?” and he asked so earnestly that it hurt her heart.
She didn’t answer, trying to catch her breath and just think. Yet she noticed that even after everything that happened, she still trusted him without a second of doubt.
She gave a meek nod.
And then warmth involved her, lean arms pressed on her, and she felt protected. No one could harm her here, not the brimmed caps, not the Knights Moralis, not even her thoughts. Coco couldn't help but let a sob escape her.
She doesn’t know how much time passed until she can finally take a full breath without sobbing. Having air in her lungs makes it easier to think clearly.
With her nerves calmed down, her senses come back, she can feel the wet spot of tears on Qifrey’s cloth, the hard wood of the cart, small whispers close to her, and her mentor’s breath hitting the crown of her head.
Withdrawing from his embrace, Coco at long last sees Qifrey’s gentle smile, the one that always comforts her, his eyes softening as she meets his gaze.
“There you are” he says, and he sounds so relieved that it makes her ache.
With her full vision back, she spots Master Olly sitting beside them, Agott clinging to his robe, an involuntary act, because when she notices what she’s doing, the girl snatches her hand away, making Olruggio giggle, a pink blush decorates Agott’s face.
“Are you better now?” the deep yet warm voice of Master Olly crowded her ears.
The warmth made her fuzzy inside, then dawning that he asked her something.
“More or less” she replied onto Qifrey’s robe, dampening the sound. Still, the watchful eye hummed in agreement.
“I’m not gonna force you Coco, but, do you want to talk about what happened?” he questioned
Coco took her time to reply. The nightmare still plagued her mind, the wound was fresh. Did she want to rub salt in it? And, did Olly know about… Qifrey’s silverwood curse? Her guess was no, she believed he would show more signs if he did, so it would be better if she didn’t mention it.
“I- I want to talk about it with… Qifrey.” she said hesitantly, being met with silence
“Can I?” She inquired anxiously.
“Of course you can, Coco.” He answers, a shallow smile on his face.
Promptly, she sees Qifrey and Olruggio meeting each other's eyes, she can’t understand what it means, yet for them, it seems like a full on conversation.
“Don’t worry, Qif, I’ll stay here with them” Master Olly answers whatever question Master did in their “telepathic” conversation, while pointing at the two sleepy figures on the other side of the cart.
“What about we go to a more remote area?” Qifrey asks, getting up and wiping the dust from his clothes.
“Sure, that way we won’t disturb anyone” Coco replied, looking directly at Tetia and Richeh.
“Always worrying more about others than yourself, no?” he mumbled, giving a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Yet before Qifrey could make any move to walk away, she glanced at Agott. Unbeknown to her, purple eyes were already staring at her. They kept staring at each other awkwardly, until all of a sudden Coco threw her arms around her, making Agott let out a loud shriek.
Not knowing what to do the black haired one hesitating brought her arms around Coco as well.
“I’m sorry for worrying you, I’m fine now” Coco says, facing Agott.
“You’re not fine, you were just crying and panicking a minute ago and…” she protested, yet she couldn’t help the way her voice wavered.
“You really scared me,” Agott finished saying.
“Sorry” She mumbled sheepishly. Unraveling her arms out of Agott, Coco got close to Qifrey.
“Let 's go?” he questioned, Coco giving a small nod in confirmation. Yet getting caught off guard when she was suddenly lifted in Qifrey’s arms, making him laugh. Qifrey started walking away, Coco waving her hand towards Agott and Master Olly.
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She doesn’t pay attention to where Qifrey leads them, it appears to be a more isolated place, far from the carriage. There’s a nearby lake that reflects the sunrise, and master decides on a rock close by to sit down, adjusting her to stay on his lap.
Stillness filled the air, the sound of birds passing by, leaves blowing through the wind, the small sound of Qifrey’s bouncy leg. She knew that professor would wait all the time she needed, but it was just, she couldn’t find the right words.
“It was a nightmare” she started, hearing a low hum.
“More specifically, a nightmare about the silverwood curse” Coco says, looking directly into Qifrey’s eye. She could see the slightest movement of his eye, widening a bit, being taken off guard.
sighting, “it- you… the seed had grown completely and you… turned into…” she stopped, not being able to continue anymore, but looking in master’s eye she knew he understood what had transpired in her mind.
Her heart ached for him, she didn’t want that to happen, she was not prepared for that to happen, she could not let that happen. Placing a hand up her forehead the girl chanted.
“Master Qifrey, promise me that my dream is not going to turn into reality?” The fire of determination shined in her eyes, yet she faltered when the look on his face was made visible. Coco saw tears in his eyes, they didn’t fall, yet they made his light blue eye glassy, just like a prism, it looked like it could break any second. Not just with tears, but they were full of pain, pain from even before she was born. How long has he been bottling it up? Didn’t he want to let go?
And for Qifrey, that promise hurted him, he gave Coco hope again and again, yet this time, he didn’t think it was possible. There were no clues on how to stop this, and the only way he knew how to halt it was by erasing his memory. Meaning there was no solid future for him. He didn’t want to give her a false hope, as much as it hurted, words came out of his mouth.
“...I’m sorry Coco, that’s- but- it is not something I can promise” he uttered, taking her hand and slowly lowering it down.
They stayed in silence, and in the silence Coco’s mind worked, not in a positive way because, how could it, when Master had just confessed to… the high possibility of them losing him.
She laid her head against Qifrey’s collarbone, hiding her fears. With his hand still on hers, she squeezed it as hard as she could, hoping he could feel at least a tinge of her love for him, she didn’t want him to go, she couldn’t let him go.
A delicate hand started caressing her hair, then she heard a broken voice “I cannot hold my side of the promise because there is no guarantee I'm going to succeed, but, Coco I- I assure you, that I'm trying everything in my reach to change my outcome”. And he didn’t have to prove his effort, she knew he took her in because of her ties with the Brimmed caps, hoping she would be a clue, she saw how careless he was in Romonon, she saw his resolve over and over.
If what Beldaruit said to her is true, that Qifrey had a burning rage in his heart over the Brimmed caps and had always seeked revenge, she understood that hatred, because the moment he stops, is the moment he loses everything, including himself.
She felt a faint touch on the top of her head, a gentle kiss, and then words being mumbled in the crown of her head “It’s fine Coco, everything's going to be okay” she interrupts him by getting away. How dare he say that when there’s so much pain in his voice.
“Don’t say something like that again Professor” she warns with agony, yet not being able to meet his stare.
“I’m sorry, Coco… that wasn’t very nice of me, was it?” he says, chuckling sadly.
They stayed in silence after that, his hand on her hair, combing through it, it was tender, almost making her fall asleep, almost, if it was not her earlier nightmare.
Yet, after some time, he abruptly stopped and got up, making her recoil in surprise. He adjusted her to be in a more comfortable position in his hold.
"Would you like to go back? If not we can…” he looks around “stay a bit” he says, giving her options.
She ponders, she's not a hundred percent fine yet, but she supposes that that deed is not going to be achieved so soon now, looking at the sky she can see that the sun has completely risen, so she presumed everyone must be awake now, if she and Qifrey take more time to get there, they’re going to be even more worried about them and more worry means more question, and questions means things she doesn’t want to answer neither think about.
“Let’s go back” she says as her final answer “The others must have woken up already, and if they did… we can resume our travel no? I- I really want to get home already.” she added, making Qifrey’s eye soften
“Yeah, let’s go home”.
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Walking down the path, they finally spot the cart, and true to her thoughts Tetia and Richeh were awake, she could see Master Olruggio serving breakfast, happily, they’ve gotten there just in time. Coco started tussling in his hold, understanding her action, Qifrey put her down.
Even if things were not yet a hundred percent okay, she would put her worries behind for a bit, smiling Coco greeted them, as if nothing happened. They all surrounded her, concern written on their faces. Qifrey heard them questioning her.
“Are you okay Coco?”
“Did something happen?”
“What happened?”
Yet all she did was smile sheepishly and answer “Don’t worry, it was nothing.”
Hearing that all Qifrey could think about was how she was keeping the truth to herself… like he always did.
Like master like pupil, he thinks…
He grimaces, she really was just like him.