Work Text:
11:30 PM. God, why was she up this late again?
It seemed to Kotone that every single night she was here, stuck staring at the ceiling of her tiny dormitory room. Every night waiting for that little digital clock sitting on her nightstand to chime at the top of the hour, before cutting out about a half a second into the sound. She’d heard it so many times now she had memorized the timing.
The Dark Hour… she had only learned the term for it a few months ago now, but the feeling was all too familiar to her. It was strange being able to put a label to this thing she’s known for all her life since the day that…
Well, she’s been trying to keep her mind off that subject lately. Not that it’s been working but, well. Can’t say she didn’t try not thinking about her parents dying in front of her in a horrific car accident 10 years ago recently. At least she has that going for her.
…. Yeah, and there it was. She was thinking about it again. God, Kotone, why are you so stupid?
Of course, beating herself up about it wasn’t helping one bit. But that’s all she could do it seemed whenever her mind drifted to the horrific scene. Fire strewn about, their family car in flaming ruins, and…
Makoto.
Right. She had successfully forgotten about that part until now.
Her little brother who had been born a year after her. He would have been 16 this year, she thinks. Wait, how old was she turning, again? 17? That doesn’t sound right. Well, maybe it does. She certainly didn’t feel 17. She felt, like, well. She still felt like that scared little 10-year-old girl most of the time. The same girl who sat there helpless as she watched her parents and brother slowly burn in the wreckage of their vehic-
No. Bad Kotone. Spiralling won’t get you anywhere, she thought. She needed to think about something else, fast. Rabbits, she liked those, right? Think about rabbits! Come on, Kotone, hurry up think about the damn rabbits already!! You like pop music too? What music have you been listening to?? Come on, just snap out of it!!!
She could recognize this was bad in the moment, didn’t take a genius to figure out she was having a panic attack. These had been happening more and more frequently this year. Something about being back in Iwatodai, especially so close to the Moonlight Bridge, where she sat on the edge watching her car go up in flames and the screams of everyone else on the bridge and the faint cries of her own mother and-
Kotone, to her own avail, kept spiralling deeper and deeper, images of her family’s fiery grave flashing through her mind as she coddled herself in her own blankets, breathing heavy, rapid breaths into her soaking wet pillow. Her pillow case was absolutely ruined by now, the constant friction against her tear stained face and its constant wetness tearing small holes into it. She tried to think about where she’d get a replacement from the next day, but even that couldn’t stop her from feeling that warmth of the flames shoot up and down her body like lightning upon a wire.
She knew she had to do something about this. She tried to take deep breaths, just like that old school appointed counsellor had told her to before she got moved to yet another foster home and the familiar cycle repeated again. But every time she tried to take a slower breath in she just made a dry heaving noise as she struggled to suck in air.
So she simply laid there, shaking and heaving into her bed, praying that her mind would just calm itself down, think about anything else, anyone.
Then, as if the Gods above heard her pleas, she heard that now all too familiar chime on her clock, before it cut out halfway through. Half a second, she thought. As she did, the air around her shifted, the green glow she had become accustomed to filling the room as the Dark Hour descended upon the city once more. She heard the sound of the entire building’s power shutting down as the Dark Hour’s effects spread throughout. Somehow, this strange eerie midnight mystery hour was what finally snapped her out of her spiralling trance.
Well, she thought to herself, it has been the one constant since she lost her family. Through ever foster home, every boarding school, every night spent on the streets alone and cold, it was always there. She could always rely on it to bring her respite from everyone around her. She could always know she’d have at least an hour every night where nobody else could say anything about her, do anything to her. A whole hour of complete and total freedom every night. Caressing her in its gentle glow just like her Mom used to do…
It was weird, she admitted. Sharing this hour with so many other people now, knowing that right now as the entire rest of the city was subdued for the next 60 minutes- well, more like 54 now,- her new teammates were still here in this dorm with her, maybe some even still lying awake as she was.
Kotone took a couple shaky breaths as she slowly calmed down, running her trembling hands through her hair. Slowly, she forced herself up, taking wobbly steps towards the sink in the corner of her room. Running her hands under the tap for a second, she quickly splashed some water on her face, shaking her head quickly after. The sudden cold stung a little, but it helped. She grabbed the small plastic cup sitting next to her toothbrush and filled it with the cool water, quickly removing it and downing the liquid like it was medicine.
Slowly, she pressed her shaky feet forwards back to her bed and crawled in. Pulling the covers up over her chest, Kotone finally felt herself settle down for the night.
This was all so strange; not just being back in Iwatodai, but this whole Persona business as well, and shadows and Tartarus and…
Nope, not going to spiral again. She quickly shut down any further attempts from her brain at comprehending anything around her and simply screwed her eyes shut and let herself slowly, slowly drift away into the gloomy green night.
Over in the corner of her room, a small boy in striped pyjamas stared at the sleeping girl with his piercing blue eyes. Slowly, his mouth upturned into a smile. Not one of malice or creepiness, as one may expect, but warmth.
“You’ll just fine, Kotone. Won’t you?”