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Incensed

Summary:

It is the first day of the course and Elphaba is already incensed.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!”

“Easy, Troll, you’re turning dark green.”

“Go fuck some cousin of yours, Minkos”lashed the ravenclaw to the pureblood, who paled and hurried away.

“Elphaba, calm down” whispered Elsa taking her arm.

“I can’t calm down, this isn’t even half normal” exclaimed the girl, about to explode after a whole class holding her wrath, “What the hell is professor Dumbledore thinking?”

“I don’t understand it either, but at least wait ‘til we are farther from him” answered Boq, pointing with his head to the half-giant they had left behind.

Hearing that the green skinned ducked her head with guilt and held her best friends arm, lowering her voice and letting her friends to drag her towards Ravenclaw Tower.

“It’s not his fault” she mumbled while they entered the castle.“He is a good man” she added while they reached the fifth floor. “He obviously just wants to share his passion in the subject.”

They entered the common room after Boq, without listening to the eagles riddle, and went up to his dorm.

“But he is an atrocious teacher!” she shouted at last, falling face down on the boys bed.

Boq and Elsa laughed.

“No, really, I don’t understand professor Dumbledore”she muttered, turning her face so they would hear her. “Are the mini Death Eaters right and he is starting to lose it due to his age?”

“Starting? Trelawney’s been here for, like, 15 years” commented Boq.

“Trelawney is another issue. Do you remember how he protected her when the Board tried to fire her that year nobody chose Divination?” inquired Elsa, sitting in the beds end.

“He wants her in the castle for something, that’s for sure” agreed Elphaba, turning her body to see her friends. “But it’s not the same with Hagrid, he’s the gamekeeper, he’s already tied to Hogwarts. He doesn’t need to give him a teacher position to keep him close!”

She got up of the bed and started walking around the room.

“Besides, Care of Magical Creatures is not Divination! It’s an important subject, at least for those of us who want a job on it!” she shouted, more and more heated by the moment. “Last years CMC OWLs were pathetic! And what does Dumbledore do? He goes and hires the same teacher! As if he could have become a good teacher over the summer! As if from overnight he could have learned the agenda for five grades! Because he doesn’t even know the agenda!”

“Well, Binns knows the agenda and isn’t a much better teacher” commented Boq with a grin, earning a glare from Elsa.

“Don’t make me start with Binns! Binns’ is even worse! History is important for everyone, I still don’t know why Dumbledore lets him keep teaching! What is it, the school in in bankrupt and they can’t afford a living teacher? Or are they still paying him after death? Or they just don’t want to fire the poor little ghosty? I don’t know, nothing makes any sense. I’m starting to think that education is the least important thing in this school” she ended mumbling, thoughtful.

“What are you thinking?” asked the blonde with a frown.

“Think of it for a moment” mumbled the green skinned, her eyes wide open. “The History teacher floats around the the classroom talking as slowly and boringly as possible, we have a different DADA teacher every year, the Divination teacher wouldn’t be able to predict the weather even looking out of the window, and now he goes and hires a half-giant, that I’m not even sure has finished his schooling, for CMC. It’s obvious!”

Boq and Elsa shared a confused look and turned back to Elphaba.

“He is planning a magical creature uprising!”

...

...

“That’s why he’s got Binns teaching, so we don’t pay attention and realise that most of the wizarding wars have been between humans and creatures” said Elsa slowly.

“And that’s why we have a different DADA teacher every year, so new generations don’t learn how to defend ourselves in an actual live or death situation” added Boq, somber.

“And has a Seer who isn’t really one, to confuse any real Seer that saw his plans.”

“And has by his side a half-giant without the necessary education for the post, so we don’t learn anything really useful about the creatures we’re going to have to face.”

“And that is actually a mastermind strategist who will lead the creatures in the rebellion” ended the green skinned.

The three friends looked at each other in silence, eyes wide open.

And burst into laughter.

Notes:

There is no mention of Flitwick because the ravens (Elphaba specially) have a soft spot for their Head of House <3