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It’s quiet in the playground.
Four never liked the quiet before, it was hard for them to sit still when they weren’t doing math for fun or helping the others with their problems. But now, it feels like all they do. Like they’re glued to that spot under the tree, tired, afraid, bitter.
It’s quiet in the playground.
They had no idea what had happened, they said, they lied. Four did a good thing, X said, but they felt guilty. No, they’d not done a good thing. X was honest, kind, sweet — Four’s. They were made from Four. They were their desire, their hope, their trust — that’s how Variables were made, from desire. But they didn’t want X’s validation, that wasn’t enough now.
It’s quiet in the playground.
They wanted Infinity, that voice in their head, that part of them, to tell them they’d done good. That they were in the right, that they were protecting everyone from her, from the danger to their peace. To their protected peace. But she was like him, she was a child.
She loved the quiet.
One loved when the playground was peaceful like this. She’d sit under this exact tree, nose in one of those weird astronomy books, as Four chatted to her and practically begged her to join their little friend group. Her presence was silent, unnoticeable to most. But to them, looking over at where she used to sit was… strange. It was empty. She lived, but she no longer loved, and to Four, that was worse.
She would love the quiet in the playground.
They didn’t pretend to know the challenges she faced, the lack of love she got. How ignored she was, but Four never feared her before — they knew their sister. They knew her well, they were twins, after all. And twins always seem to know what the other is thinking, and though Four pushed away almost all of what happened, they pushed away the unimaginable — they’d remember her.
They would remember her in yellow flowers, in the stars, in the stack of books neatly lined up by the tree. In Six’s paintings, in their pictures. One would always be there.
She’d be there.
She’d be in the quiet playground.
She’d love the quiet playground.
Four didn’t even notice Six sit down next to them. Their older sibling, the one they’d looked up to for so long. They could see the red marks around their eyes, matching theirs. “Hey.” She said, and they looked away. They didn’t want to see anyone, it felt wrong. It felt wrong to be here when she wasn’t. Without One, they were just half. They felt like a piece had been ripped away from them.
”X told me you want to be alone, but…” Six didn’t know what to say. She’d always made herself out to be the older, cooler sister. Maybe it was Nine’s influence, but now she had to act like it. “We’re going through this together, Four. Corny, I know, but we’re siblings. We both lost her.”
”…And? You’re doing so much better, aren’t you?!” Four hissed, bitterly. Their sister rolled her eyes “Yeah, maybe I am. I don’t know what it’s like to be a twin, but I know you. I know you were close to her, Four — I’m your sister too, so I know you, I know how badly you’re taking this.”
Four couldn’t say a word. Six continued “We’re worried about you, me, X, Two… you need to talk to us, Four.” But it felt so much easier to run away, to escape, to live in a made-up paradise where everything was fine, to zone out of their depressing reality. They were surprised to find their sister’s arm wrapped around them. That was strange, Six barely ever did stuff like that.
And for a moment, that was enough for them. The siblings sat in silence, in each other’s company, an empty spot sitting beside the younger. But now, something had shifted in the tense air.
They were making it through the unimaginable.