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Lamorak kept their eyes on the scenery before them. The coming and going of airships and far enough from all the hustle and bustle. It was peaceful. They didn't focus too much on the gentle fingers which ran through their hair. The gentle tugs as the boy behind them braided their hair, it reminded them of their mother.
They bit the inner part of their lower lip, maybe they shouldn't think of that for now. They’re not quite ready to start breaking down in front of others yet.
“You're not a mortal, are you?” Lamorak asked suddenly, breaking the silence. They hadn't really meant to ask that but it ended up slipping out their mouth anyway.
Noa stayed silent for a while though his gentle smile never wavered. “No, you already knew that, though.”
“They were merely suspicions, I just wanted to confirm.”
“What will you do with that information?” His tone carried the same softness as always, never judging or even upset in the slightest.
“Nothing.” There was honestly nothing they could do anyway, it was probably akin to learning one’s favourite colour. Although everything seemed to lead back to growing up and death again. Would it be great to stay young forever? Maybe as a mortal, the idea would be tempting.
Noa hadn't commented on their lack of words, finishing up the braid. The primal shifted, sitting next to Lamorak. The pair basked in the warmth of the setting sun.
“How is it being immortal?”
Noa hummed, his smile faltering. “It gets lonely sometimes.”
The wizard studied him, there was a distant look in his eyes.
“Really?” Lamorak turned away, remembering when they first met Noa on the docks. “You seem quite popular though.”
Noa smiled again with a small sigh. It looked forced. “How about you? Would you chase immortality?”
“I…” The interrogation really turned on them quickly huh? They felt a lump in their throat. The idea of existing forever, would it be boring after a while? Of course, another downside would be that they’d be forced to watch those they ever loved die, just like their mother.
In their twenty three years of living, they still sought a reason to continue. They wanted to journey through the skies, master every spell possible, to protect and maybe to fill that gap in their heart as they watched the life pool out of their mother. The regret that they could've done more, should’ve been better. It eats them alive every day even though it's been so long despite their futile attempts to drown it out.
She should’ve been alive to hear of their travels.
Sometimes they catch themself thinking that they should just disappear first so they wouldn't have to deal with the burden of losing anyone else. It's a selfish thought, one they end up ruminating about at times. They wouldn't act on it, at least, that's what they tell themself. Maybe it's guilt or fear, they're just not ready to leave the skies yet.
They just wished they could've stayed a child a little bit longer. They could cry over lost opportunities and missing time. Back when most of their responsibilities consisted of playing and learning about the world in their small curious lens. When most of their worries were hoping lessons and homework wouldn't be too hard and hoping it wouldn't rain so they could go play in the forest.
Maybe their words had been shallow. You could be surrounded by hundreds of people yet the feeling that you couldn't connect with any of them is rather sad. They were weird – different. It was more of a fact than an insult. Too unserious, too playful. Royalty had felt suffocating. They weren't interested in fancy clothes and uptight events. They were never good at swordplay like their brothers. They weren't as smart as Aglovale, they weren't as kind as Percival. Sometimes, the thought of being left behind and forgotten scared them. To be forgotten as if you never existed. No matter how hard you tried, it would be all for nothing.
“...No, maybe not.” They decided. They could go through this life slowly with the idea they'd die someday, maybe that would be their closure.
Noa nodded in acknowledgment and the pair was back in silence, the light breeze on their faces.
“I heard you can make snow with magic.” Lamorak changed the subject.
“Oh, well, kind of?” The primal let out an amused chuckle. “Want to see it?”
“Yes please!” They giggled, hoping the world would let them be a kid again just for now. They truly needed a break.