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Weak sobs echoed through the broken Blight Manor. The three siblings were only there to gather their old belongings, and move in with their father. It didn’t make anything easier, especially after Luz gave her life for everyone on the Isles. Emira was saddened by this fact, as she knew Luz, and she wanted to say she knew her pretty well. Emira enjoyed Luz’s company, she enjoyed how selfless she was, and most importantly; she loves that Amity loves her. Loved her.
Amity had finally branched out; realized she was more than her last name, and embraced that inner child Emira so longingly wanted for her. Now it was caged by a warden of grief. Emira hadn’t gone a single night without hearing Amity’s pained sobs in the other room. She watched as Amity moved around like a zombie. She watched her eat so little and vomit nothing but bile after crying out any water left in her system. None of the rest of the family knew how to comfort Amity, they expected Emira to know.
Emira didn’t know shit.
How could she possibly know how to handle the grief of someone who had been given a second chance by someone who was no longer there? How could she possibly begin to comprehend how guilty Amity felt? Amity wouldn’t talk about it. She’d cover herself in the blankets or hide in one of Luz’s old hoodies, then cover her ears until Emira left the room. Though Emira could tell Amity desperately wanted to say something. Amity never spoke during the funeral, she sat in the front listening to the cries of Luz’s mothers and King. She sat, trembling and cursing herself for not saying something, for letting the moment pass without a final word.
Emira found Amity curled into her old bed, hugging a pillow with all her limbs. Amity wasn’t crying, only staring blankly down at her nightstand. Emira’s throat was dry; unable to find the proper words. She wanted to ask Amity when the last time she ate was, or if she had gotten any sleep. Though, Emira didn’t think it was reasonable to expect Amity to pull herself together that easily. Finally; she spoke in a soft tone.
“Luz was… an amazing person.”
Amity let out a quiet huff, “no she wasn’t.”
Emira was taken aback by the statement, unable to comprehend why Amity would say something like that after losing her. She opened her mouth to scold Amity, but Amity spoke first.
“Everyone tells me, ‘oh I’m so sorry for your loss, Luz was such an amazing girl. She was so sweet.’ ” Amity let in a sharp breath through her teeth, her voice raspy. “They’re all a bunch of liars, they all act like they know Luz after she is gone. It’s easy to see the good in people after they’re gone. Well I knew Luz, she was annoying, and loud, and she was so clingy. That was Luz, that's why I loved her. Worst of all though, she was stupid and selfless. Why couldn’t she have just been selfish just that one time? Why did she have to go play hero all the time? She could have turned around at that point; and I would’ve still taken her hand and walked back through that portal with her.”
Emira was silent for a moment, taken aback, but nodding in quiet understanding. She let out a weak laugh, “Yeah, but that wouldn’t have been Luz.”
“No, it wouldn’t have been.” Amity weakly laughed, wiping her eyes on her arm.
“Would you have asked her to turn around and come back to you, if you were there? Like… tell her not to risk it all like that?” Emira asked quietly.
“Maybe.” Amity sighed, “I don’t think she would have listened though. I think she would’ve told me that she had to do this, and she would see me soon.”
Emira could see Amity begin to sink in on herself, she quickly changed the topic. “What’d you love the most about her?”
Amity seemed surprised with the question, as if she had never thought about it. She took a moment, trying to dig deep in her mind for the answer. “Well… Everything, really.”