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After all, Qi Rong was right. Xie Lian didn’t like him. He felt almost guilty for it, but Qi Rong didn’t like him all that much either.
But there once was a time.
Before the fall of Xianle, before Xie Lian went down the cultivation path, before something changed in his little cousin, before something made him bitter.
He had found Qi Rong alone in the courtyard, with not a single guard watching him. That wasn’t right, there was always supposed to be a servant watching him, Xie Lian knew this, his mother had told him so.
Qi Rong was crouched behind a rock poking at something in the dirt with a stick.
“Rong-er? What…are you doing?”
Xie Lian crouches next to him. Qi Rong jolts and rubs his foot into the dirt, and whips his head around to look at him, “Cousin! You-you scared me.”
Xie Lian smiles and pats his back, “Sorry, sorry. Were you drawing just now? What was it?”
Qi Rong blushes and he looks back at the dirt, “It was nothing.”
Xie Lian hums, “C’mon, you can tell me! I won’t tease, I promise.”
“…” Qi Rong doesn’t say anything for a moment, and Xie Lian is beginning to think that he won’t respond at all when—
“I was drawing Mama,” he mumbles. Xie Lian stills for a moment before swiftly remembering to respond, “Really? That’s sweet!”
Qi Rong nods stiffly. His grip on the stick tightens, just slightly, and Xie Lian notices that he seems to be shaking. That’s probably not good.
“Do you like to draw?” Xie Lian asks, hoping to steer the subject towards something he knows how to handle. It seems to work, Qi Rong looks at him again and nods, “Mhm! I love it!”
“Could you draw something for me?” Xie Lian asks, “You’ve got me curious. I’d like to see what you can do.”
At that, Qi Rong’s smile fades, “I’m…not very good.”
“What makes you say that?” Xie Lian tilts his head, a frown tugging on his lips. Qi Rong hugs his knees and whispers something that Xie Lian doesn’t hear.
“What’d you say?”
Qi Rong bites his lip and shakes his head, “Nothing.”
“…Hey, I don’t mind if you’re not the best at it, you know. I’d be happy to have anything you make me!” Xie Lian says, bumping his shoulder against Qi Rong’s cheerfully. The boy looks at him skeptically, “Really?”
“Yeah!”
“…”
Qi Rong closes his eyes, thinking about it. Then he nods, “In the dirt, then.”
“Okay, I’ll watch.” Xie Lian says, fully plopping down in the dirt. Qi Rong hesitates a moment before he adjusts his grip on his stick and starts drawing again. Xie Lian watches him for a moment before the silence becomes too boring and he breaks it again.
“How come there were no servants with you?” He looks around at the still-empty courtyard. Qi Rong wrinkles his nose, “I don’t like them.”
“Um…why not? Were they rude?” Xie Lian asks, looking around again, as if the offending servant would be standing there. Qi Rong shakes his head, “I don’t like them being so close to me. Their filth could get on me.”
Xie Lian’s jaw drops. He stares at the boy playing in the dirt as he talks about filthy servants and waits for him to smile or say that he was making a weird joke. But he doesn’t.
“That’s…not true, they’re not filthy,” Xie Lin says feeling a little offended on his servants behalf.
Qi Rong sneers, “Yes they are. All servants are filthy, that’s why they’re servants.”
He looks up from his dirt drawing, the cute shy face he was making just moments before is gone, replaced with a disturbingly cruel expression for a child so small.
A little startled, Xie Lian scoots away.
“No. They’re servants because most of them were born into it, or were hired. It’s how they make a living.” He says, sitting up straighter.
“They should be living at all, they’re pests.”
“If we didn’t have servants then you wouldn’t have anything to eat! Or clean clothes! Or a clean room!” Xie Lian says, raising his voice, “Just because they’re lower than you doesn’t mean you can call them dirty! Just ignore them if you’re going to be rude!”
Qi Rong’s eyes widen and he stares at Xie Lian. The latter feels a little guilty, looking into those eyes that seem almost afraid.
Then his little cousin bursts into tears.
Xie Lian reels back, horrified.
“What—“
“Don’t yell at me! That’s- you- you’re not supposed to yell!” Qi Rong sobs, pushing Xie Lian away when he tries to hug him.
Xie Lian falls into the dirt. Qi Rong then leans back against the rock he was hiding behind and cries louder, rubbing his face with muddy hands. Xie Lian winces at this and sits up again, tugging the boy’s wrists from his face, “Don’t do that, Rong-er, you’ll get dirt all over your face.”
“Leave me alone! You’re mean! You’re a liar!” Qi Rong screams.
“A liar? When did I lie?”
“You-you- I hate you!” Qi Rong lunges, and tackles the prince into the dirt who cries out in surprise. The guards standing outside the door burst in, “Your Highness!”
Xie Lian waves them off, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Shoo! I’ll handle it.”
The guards glance at each other, then back at the situation before bowing and stepping out again. In the moments that the soldiers were in Qi Rong stopped paying attention, and Xie Lian was able to grab him and wrap his arms around Qi Rong’s, keeping him from moving.
He squirms and screams and cries but Xie Lian doesn’t let go, just shushes him. Finally, he does, going limp and crying quietly as he slumps against Xie Lian’s chest.
Phew
“Rong-er, I’m sorry for yelling, I shouldn’t have done that.” Xie Lian says, letting one hand go up to stroke his hair. Qi Rong humphs and Xie Lian keeps on, “But you shouldn’t talk about the servants like that, okay?”
Qi Rong sits up, turning to face him, “…okay. But don’t yell at me again.”
“I won’t.” Xie Lian lets out a side of relief. The jarring expression Qi Rong had worn earlier is gone, replaced with the sulky look he so often wore.
“Good.” He nods and turns around again, sitting in Xie Lian’s lap.
“Hey…who told you that servants were dirty? Was it one of those noble kids again?”
Qi Rong scoffs, “Why would I talk to those losers?”
Xie Lian laughs, “Good, you shouldn’t talk to them anyway. So who?”
“…Baba did.”
“…”
Qi Rong squirms pulling at his robes, “He said…that I should make sure to remember that, so they don’t get their filth on me.”
It’s common knowledge that Qi Rong’s father was a dirtbag. Xie Lian’s not sure how his Aunt could fall for such a person, and it seemed like she didn’t know either. He heard his parents speaking about it, though. His father thought that Lord Qi was a stain on his mothers family, and tried to keep them away.
But the Queen loved her sister and insisted on Xie Lian being able to meet her a few times. But those times that Lord Qi had been there were tense.
He wasn't drunk, but he acted like it. Xie Lian had gotten so scared the first time that he’d started sobbing and had to leave.
By the time Qi Rong was born, Lord Qi had isolated his family in their home. They only got letters from them until, finally, Lord Qi died, and shortly after, so did Qi Rong’s mother. When the Royal Family had first taken Qi Rong in he was standoffish and quick to anger. Months later, the bristly-ness had faded, but the temper had remained. Though it bothered Xie Lian, the Queen had asked him to be understanding. So he had. Mentioning his father would often send Qi Rong into a fit.
Xie Lian hesitates for a moment before he makes up his mind, “I don’t think that’s true.”
“You think he lied?” Qi Rong immediately sounds defensive. Xie Lian is quick to reply, “No, no! Maybe he was just confused? Or maybe he had bad experiences with servants before. But I wouldn’t take that bit of advice to heart Rong-er.”
Qi Rong sits still for a moment as he digests that, then huffs and gets off his lap.
“I’ll keep drawing.” He picks up his stick and gets back to work. Xie Lian nods and sits back to watch him.
Whenever he tries to peek over his shoulder and see it, however, Qi Rong hunches over the drawing and glares at him. He gives up after a while and just sits there in silence. He doesn’t want to speak again, last time he did that ended with him in the dirt. So he just waits. It’s Qi Rong who breaks that silence.
“Why was Baba so mean to everyone?”
He doesn’t look up from his drawing but his hand shakes.
“Some people are just mean, Rong-er.”
“But not to everyone. Not to their kids,” Qi Rong insists.
“Even to their kids. I can’t be sure why…but it’s just the way things happen, some people are just mean. There’s not always a reason behind it.” Xie Lian shrugs, choosing his words carefully.
“Am I?”
“No, Rong-er. You’re not mean,” Xie Lian says, smiling softly.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Qi Rong nods and moves back, “M’done.”
Xie Lian grins and looks at the drawing. It’s a rather simple drawing. Two figures are sitting on what appears to be a rock. One of them is an adult, and he’s leaning on the tree behind them. The other one is a child, and they’re staring up at the sun.
“Rong-er this is amazing!” Xie Lian marvels, making sure to seem impressed, “Who are these people?”
Qi Rong shrugs, looking smug, “I dunno. Just people.”
Xie Lian nods, “Well it’s very good, Rong-er, im impressed!”
Qi Rong grins, then laughs and waves a hand, “Well it wasn’t that hard, no need to be too impressed.”
“Ah…right,” Xie Lian stands up and brushes the dirt off of his robes.
“C’mon, Rong-er. I can get you something real to draw on,” He holds his hand out for his cousin to take. Qi Rong stares at it for a moment before taking it and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.
“I don’t want to draw anymore, Cousin. I’m hungry, let’s go eat.” He says, tugging on Xie Lian’s arm.
Xie Lian doesn’t say anything to that, just lets himself be pulled out into the hallway.
Qi Rong behaved himself that day. It was one of the rare times that he did. And one of the last times that the two got along.