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And in the dream Peter knows that it is a dream but he still does not wake up, and that does not happen all the time only sometimes but he hops onto the next cloud anyway and just ignores all of that.
“We’re up really high all the way to space,” Peter says, holding his hands out in front of him.
“I hear you snoring on the outside somewhere,” his dad says, from behind him, and when Peter turns to see, he’s still one cloud back.
“Are you going to keep up, Daddy, or are you—”
And then they are on the ground again. They are somewhere strange like a chili powder desert and Peter sighs and sits and his dad sits beside him. They’re both crisscross apple sauce and his dad’s knee bumps his and it’s on purpose he can tell so Peter looks at him and blinks at him and his love and happiness is around his face in real little floating hearts. They are like cartoons and his dad gets them too and Peter pops one of them like a bubble. But it comes back right away and more pink this time and bouncing with its own happiness.
“You know I can’t live without you, right?” his dad asks, raising his eyebrows. “So you can’t go anywhere.”
“I know,” Peter says. “You do not have to live without me, I’m here and I will always be here.”
“But you have to be careful,” his dad says, and there’s red sand in the air and weird weird broken buildings far away and he can only see the outlines of them in the sky. “You have to be careful,” his dad says again, bringing his attention back from the scary stuff and broken buildings.
“Funny it’s you saying that to me,” Peter says, bumping his knee into his. “You the least careful one of all ever.”
“You have to be careful, because I can’t take it,” his dad says. “Not you out there with blood in your eyes.”
“Blood?” Peter asks, and he gets cold all of a sudden, and then they aren’t in the same place anymore.
They aren’t they anymore either, and he’s alone. He’s up on a very very high building and it’s not California anymore but it’s New York again and he can see the Empire State Building from where he is so he’s not on that but the whole city is bright and sparkly and it’s nighttime but the city is so bright that it does not seem like nighttime, really.
But Peter’s scared because he’s up here alone and he rubs his hands together because he’s still cold, but they’re sticky like he ate too much ice cream or something and got all messy even though he doesn’t like to do that and get messy.
He thinks he can see Uncle Ben and Aunty May’s house because it’s lit up with a spotlight.
He thinks he can hear gunshots.
That scares him and he’s cold he’s definitely cold.
“Okay I wanna wake up now,” he says, because he does remember that this is a dream. He does know, this time, not every time but this time he does. “Okay it’s time to wake up.”
He closes his eyes and tries to but instead it just blows windier all around him and he stumbles back because the wind is like a big hand pushing him.
And then he hears an explosion and he opens his eyes and his dad is flying. And for a second it’s like he’s in a spaceship, a small one, but then he’s in a big robot with a big big head and it changes and then he’s in a different kind of robot that’s big big and then a square one and then he’s just flying with nothing like he’s got invisible wings. And he grabs Peter and flies with him.
“Hey thank you because I did not like it up there,” Peter says, and his dad gives him kisses and holds him tight and Peter hugs him and watches the city over his shoulder.
He’s not scared when he’s with him.
“You can’t fly yet, lovebug,” his dad says.
“Yet?” Peter laughs.
“Not yet.”
“You gonna make me a suit robot like the one you’re making your own self?” Peter asks him.
“I’ll make you something and you’ll make yourself something too,” his dad says, and they dip and fly like the birds when they’re all in one group flying all around doing the sky dance. “But we can’t keep secrets okay?”
Peter narrows his eyes and holds onto him tighter, looking over at the spotlight still on Uncle Ben and Auntie May’s house. “I do not do that but you are the one that does that. I tell you everything.”
His dad clicks his tongue. “Not everything.”
Peter hums, and feels kinda mad, and tries to remember it’s a dream. “I do so.”
“Okay, lovebug,” his dad says, and he swoops again, and Peter hears explosions but he doesn’t see anything like fire or anything. “Just make sure you tell me when—”
~
Peter opens his eyes. Not asleep anymore. The fan is on and he rubs at his eyes so they are not as fuzzy and he looks beside him and his dad is there and still sleeping.
That dream was kinda weird. They are not usually like that, kinda like that but not like that with the weird feelings, but his dad has said before that dreams are weird. But sometimes Peter thinks dreams are more than weird and like maybe they’re him but not him. Like him on TV. Or him if he had a sister. Or him if he had a dog.
He does want a dog. And thinking about that kinda distracts him from the weird dream.
Not really though, and he wonders what his dad was gonna say. Tell him when…tell him when what?
It was just a dream, but was it? Peter feels weird.
He sighs and cuddles up to his dad and his dad puts an arm around him even though he’s still sleeping. Peter pats the arc reactor and its light and color and sighs again.
“I do not keep secrets,” he whispers. “But you do need to tell Miss Pepper about how you got out of the bad place by making the suit and flying and stuff. Maybe that’s what that dream was talking about.” He sighs again and tries to go back to dreamland but a better one where they’re working on the new suit together. All the bells and whistles like his dad says. Peter is way too excited about all that.
He closes his eyes. “I will make sure you tell her,” he says, already falling asleep again. “Important.”
~
~
“So that’s what...happened,” Tony says, clearing his throat and looking at Pepper. “That is what—that is what occurred, that was my great escape, my Steve McQueen moment, with a much larger, more—more humanoid motorcycle.” He clears his throat again, and she rests her hand on his wrist, shaking her head.
“My God, Tony,” she says, meeting his eyes. “How did you even—how did you even pull that off?”
Tony blows out a breath. “Uh, a really great partner, a ton of determination—”
“I’m so proud of you,” she says, and her eyes are glistening, and he takes her hand in his. He definitely didn’t want to make her cry, and he scoots closer.
“Nothing to be proud of, just—it’s just like playing with hot wheels, huh—”
“You got yourself out of there,” she says, still shaking her head. “And I still, I just—I don’t feel like I did enough, here, on the homefront—”
“Pep, c’mon, you were doing everything—”
“But not enough for Peter, the most important thing, we had to bring Ben in—”
Tony shakes his head now, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her hand. “Ben’s a house husband, he was built for that kinda job—”
“I just wish, hearing—what you had to do, that I would have been more capable—”
“You are the most capable, and I don’t wanna hear it,” Tony says, firmly. He feels like his chest hurts more when he gets flared up, but he hasn’t said that to anybody yet, because he knows it would just cause problems. “And Peter loves you, so—he gets enough of that self-doubt from me.” He blows out a breath, and tries to sound convincing. “It was an insane, unexpected, difficult situation—for which I eternally apologize—”
She narrows her eyes at him. “Tony—”
“—but it needed—all hands on deck—in every area—and there was no way to really do it the way any of you would have wanted to, but he’s alive and the company is fine and we’re all recovering and we’re here and we’re together—but in the end, listen, I just wanted to tell you how I got out because Pete said—Peter encouraged me.” He clears his throat again. “I wanted to tell you but I didn’t want you to be worried—about something that’s done, you know? Just don’t tell anybody, it’s just—for us, for now, but I just—I wanted you to know but I don’t want you to worry.”
About something that he’s continuing. That he’s working on, currently. That he doesn’t mention.
“I just want you to be careful,” she says.
They’re at home. On one of Pepper’s rare days off, which she won’t actually use as a day off, because he knows she’s planning on stopping in later. He did torpedo a lot of shit, when he shut down the weapons manufacturing aspect of the company, and she’s been helping him start the new brand direction. She’s been helping with everything, and spearheading everything, and letting him relax and heal up and spend time with Peter.
He needs to let her relax, too. Or would she even allow it? Shit.
But they’re at home, and she’s probably gonna leave soon because she said she was gonna check in after three, and the monkey is upstairs doing his homework in his room. They’ve been trying to get him to slowly start using his room more, even though he’s still sleeping in the room with his dad at night. Tony doesn’t mind, but May has been encouraging him to get things back to normal.
Normal. That word again.
“I am careful,” Tony says, his voice lifting a bit at the end. “Always will be.”
She scoffs. “That’s funny.”
“What?” he asks, cocking his head at her. “No idea what you’re—”
She leans in and kisses him. They haven’t been doing a lot of that, because they’re rarely alone and they haven’t told anybody yet, but whenever they’re able to steal one here and there, the world melts away. She cups his cheek and he clutches at her wrist and once again tries to memorize the feel of her lips against his, different than any other person he’s ever kissed. He smiles, when she pulls back.
“Have you been eating Doritos?” Tony asks, still inches from her.
She laughs, smacking him on the shoulder. “You’re the worst.”
He steals another quick kiss, and she laughs against his mouth. “Cool ranch, huh? I thought we were—uh, liking the barbecue flavor—”
“Barbecue flavor?” she scoffs, pushing him away. “I don’t think there is a barbecue Dorito, you—lunatic—” She gets off the couch, and he smiles up at her.
“Sweet chili? Maybe? Doesn’t matter, we’ve clearly moved on—”
She shakes her head at him, but she’s still smiling. “I’ll try to get back here for dinner, but if not, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
His heart aches a little bit. “Fine,” he says. “But if you don’t come back, you’re gonna miss my crockpot chicken and dumplings.”
“That’s what smells good?” she asks, walking out into the hall.
“Oh, it smells good?” Tony asks, getting up and nearly stumbling after her.
“I’ll let you know if I’m coming back,” she calls, glancing over her shoulder at him as she heads for the door. “If not I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there tomorrow!” Tony says. “All day!”
“You can keep working from home,” she says, shaking her head at him. She looks up. “Bye Petey monkey pie!”
“Bye bye bye Miss Pepper!” Peter yells, always listening.
“I’m gonna go in,” Tony says, pointing at her.
She just huffs at him, and then she turns and walks out the door. Tony hears Jarvis lock it behind her, and then he hears tiny footsteps on the landing.
He looks up and sees Peter there, wearing a different outfit from half an hour ago, jean shorts and a yellow polo and his new red-rimmed reading glasses. He’s clutching his notebook in his hands and he’s got a pencil behind his ear.
“I need to take a picture of you,” Tony says, staring up at him. “Stand right there and don’t move.”
“Why?” Peter asks, and he hops once with his pent-up energy.
“Because you’re so cute,” Tony says, rushing over to the shelf in the corner to grab his camera.
“I’m just normal!” Peter yells, and when Tony turns back around he sees Peter hopping again.
“Your normal is extra cute at all times,” Tony says, and he aims the camera at him and snaps a couple photos. “Adorable.”
“Okay okay,” Peter says. “Cheese.”
“Cheese,” Tony says, smiling himself at Peter’s big goofy grin as he takes another couple pictures.
“Okay but did you tell her?” Peter asks, and he knocks his notebook against the railing. “Did you?”
Tony puts the camera down on the back of the couch. “Did you finish your homework?”
Peter huffs. “This is important.”
“That’s important too!”
Peter stares at him, brows furrowed, and Tony snorts.
“Yes I told her and before you ask, yes I told her it stays between us,” Tony says. “We can figure out when we wanna tell everybody else.”
“Okay good,” Peter says, and he looks content again. “And no I didn’t finish my homework but I almost did so don’t go working on any stuff without me. Any actual stuff okay? You can look at what we have already done so far but no new stuff yet until I’m done. Which I’m almost done so just wait for me!”
He hurries off back into his room with the tail end of that sentence, and Tony blows out a breath.
He can’t help it. He’s excited, too.
“Okay, I’m gonna go down there!” Tony yells.
“No!” Peter yells back.
Tony laughs, grinning and looking back up towards Peter’s room. “You just said I could!”
“Okay okay okay yes! I’ll take my time but hurry up!”
Tony snorts, and jogs over towards the stairs.
~
Peter only takes five minutes to come down, and he’s still got his notebooks and pencils and math book with him. He sits in Tony’s lap while Tony codes, and he finishes by the time Tony is ready for hands-on trials.
“Okay,” Peter says, as Tony leads him along. “Okay, okay, so, I can come out when—”
“You cannot come out,” Tony says. “Ever.”
Peter hops and turns around, blinking rapidly at him. “Ever? I cannot live in there. There’s no bed and I know you would not like it.”
Tony snorts. He’s leading him over to the fire safety closet, which leads into a panic room of sorts, not a fixture he ever expected the house to have, but one that’s come in handy, particularly now that they’re—doing this. He’s probably the worst father ever even allowing Peter to be in the house while he tests the suit pieces, but he just wants him with him. But he has to be safe.
“Not forever,” Tony says. “Crazy. You have to be in here just in case something goes wrong.”
Peter stares up at him, still taking tiny steps forward. “But you will be out here with the wrong thing happening and it will be happening to you—”
“Nothing’s gonna happen,” Tony says, brushing Peter’s hair back. “We’re just testing the boots out today, that’s all. But just in case—”
Peter sighs, and he pats his hands together a couple times. “Do not lock me in the room I wanna be able to run out and celebrate when it goes good.”
He shuffles into the closet and Tony follows him, dragging the rolling chair forward.
“I will not be sitting I will be pressed up against the window yelling—”
“Do not be yelling,” Tony snorts.
“I mean I will not be distracting—”
Tony bends down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “Just a couple tests here, then we gotta make our adjustments based on what we learn, you know the drill.”
“Yup okay let’s go let’s do it,” Peter says, patting Tony’s cheek. “They already fit though so we shouldn’t have to adjust that, maybe just the levels—you know what just go I have my notebook and Jarvis is also listening.”
Tony snorts again. “Yeah, my backup.”
“DUM-E and U are ready to protect?” Peter asks, blinking at him. He stretches his foot backwards to roll the chair around a little bit.
“Yes, U is filming and DUM-E is on fire safety,” Tony says. “But we won’t need that because there won’t be any fires.”
“Right,” Peter says, nodding.
Tony kisses the top of Peter’s head. “I got you on the intercom, you got me too, we’ll be able to hear each other,” he says, patting the wall where the speaker is.
“Yup yup yup,” Peter says. “Okay go I love you big mwah.”
~
Petey’s brain is out of control!
Too crazy with too much stuff and okay he’s worried about his dad all the time and always always but he’s excited too and his dad is careful and there are many cautions in place.
“Okay okay you got this,” he says, pushing at his dad’s hip.
“Okay,” Tony says, backing out of the room and closing the door. The window is like practically the whole door and Peter knows his dad thought he’d be sitting in the rolling chair like a good calm kid but he’s not gonna be sitting there calm at all. His dad stands there for a second and he’s saying something that sounds blurry to the ears and then Peter hears the intercom click on.
“Monkey you hear me?” his dad’s voice says through the intercom.
“Yes,” Peter says, standing by the window.
Tony smiles at him and pats the window in front of Peter’s face, and then he walks off towards the middle of the room. They’ve scooted everything around sort of so he would have room to work, and they’ve got the boots done and the hands halfway done and the whole middle and legs and helmet mapped out, and Peter can’t believe that his dad is a superhero. He really can’t. Like he knew he was the most special and amazing and he was so scared for three months of what was happening but then his dad came back as a superhero. A real one like with a special suit!
That they’re remaking right now right in front of his eyes.
“Don’t be too crazy okay!” Peter says, shuffling back and forth in front of the window once he sees that his dad has the boots on and the hand controls in his hands. “Okay!”
“Me?” Tony asks. “Crazy?”
“The most!” Peter yells back.
His dad looks up and smiles in his direction. And Peter is completely pasted against the window now, eyes so wide that it hurts.
Dad talks to Jarvis, and the arc reactor glows so bright like the most beautiful star.
“Okay. Activate hand controls.” Peter hears them powering up through the intercom, and his dad shakes his legs out and the boots make the little robot noises. DUM-E and U look excited, and Peter can hear his own heart everywhere.
Dad keeps talking. “We’re gonna start off nice and easy, Jarvis, okay, trying to achieve lift? Peter’s watching, let’s just—”
“How about five percent thrust capacity, sir?” Jarvis asks.
“Uh, I don’t think that’ll—let’s try ten. Let’s just try ten percent, okay.”
Peter thinks to ask if this is being recorded because his dad likes to record stuff even though he has a good memory so he remembers stuff but he likes it recorded so he can look back and especially something like this he can make adjustments, but he figures that of course he is recording because of course.
“Okay,” Tony says. “Ten percent thrust in three—two—one—”
And he goes flying up and hits the ceiling and disappears behind the control panel!!!!!
“Dad!” Peter yells, and he busts out of the room fast as lightning and he runs over and DUM-E is dousing his dad in the fire extinguishing stuff and that better not mean he’s on fire and Peter runs over and also gets drenched—
“Dad dad!” Peter asks, collapsing where he thinks he is because he can barely see him with all the foggy stuff everywhere and DUM-E stops and Peter hears his dad groaning. He finds his arm and tries to find his face. “Daddy. Daddy.”
He groans again.
“Jarvis!” Peter yells, still wiping his hand through the air and trying to clear everything up. “Is my dad okay is he broken?”
“I’m okay, monk,” Tony says, but he still sounds bad.
“He has multiple lacerations, Peter, and a potential concussion, but he is not broken,” Jarvis says.
“Jarvis, you were—correct, in the fact that—should have done, uh—five percent,” Tony says, and he sits up, and Peter can see his face, and he’s wincing.
“I said to be careful and you weren’t,” Peter says, his heart aching a little. He pats his dad’s knee.
“I was so very careful,” Tony says, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Peter’s briefly before he sits back again. “And now we know they work.”
“Yeah they work too good,” Peter says, with a sigh. He looks down at the boots and pats his dad’s arm. “Okay you hurt yourself so. I’m not going back into the closet. We should stop we should stop and you should lay down.”
His dad laughs. “Monkey, I’m just getting started.”
Peter stares at him. “No you’re crazy.”
His dad pats his cheek. “You can go upstairs, baby, you don’t have to—”
“I’m staying you’re the most crazy,” Peter says, pushing at him, and he’s for sure crazy like trying to hurt himself and stuff, so Peter knows he has to stay here and be able to pull out the crying if he needs to get him to stop for real. “Okay fine. Jarvis is it okay if he keeps experimenting and doing trials like he is not going to die here in front of me getting slammed into the ceiling?”
His dad gives him a look and Peter gives him a look back. Then he scrambles to his feet.
“If he listens to instructions then he should be fine, Peter,” Jarvis says. “But we all know how that goes.”
“Yes he is the best and the worst at the same time,” Peter says, grabbing his dad’s hand and straining to help him to his feet.
“I will listen,” Tony says, sighing, as they both struggle to help him get up. “Maybe. Maybe.”
“Bad,” Peter says, breathing hard and glaring up at him.
Tony snorts, ruffling his hair. “Okay,” he says. “Let’s try that again.”
~
And they try that again. About a hundred times. Maybe not that many maybe Peter is exaggerating. But that night they do that a whole lot and Dad only gets flopped six more times which is too many and he definitely needs ice on his head at the end of the day and when Pepper comes back Dad does not tell her. What they’ve been doing. Which Peter thinks they discussed, he thinks, keeping it a secret, but he doesn’t really remember really but he thinks it might be best. He thinks. He isn’t sure.
Secrets.
And for a whole week they work on part of the suit, building parts of it individually and testing them and their power and capacity and working in the computer and Peter does his homework in there and a few times he falls asleep in front of the computer in his dad’s lap and he wakes up to him carrying him upstairs but he always makes sure he doesn’t do the dangerous stuff without him.
But won’t it all be dangerous when he gets the suit done?
No. Because they’ll make it the safest ever. Because that’s how he escaped.
And they still don’t tell Miss Pepper and Peter definitely thinks they’re keeping a secret. And maybe some secrets are okay but Peter knows Dad loves her and they’re better together and knowing each other’s stuff. And Peter likes to be the only one knowing but he is a kid and if Dad needs something serious that only an adult can help with, it’s better if Miss Pepper already knows if they need her help and is not shocked by whatever it is in the moment.
“Stick your hand right in there,” Tony says, patting Peter’s back.
Peter sits on the work counter and reaches his hand down into the hologram, and it clings to his arm. He giggles a bit and twists his arm around, holding his palm up, and the hologram of the repulsor sits there.
“Maybe I should make you a suit too, huh?” Tony asks him, typing something into the computer.
“That is a good idea to me,” Peter says, twisting his arm around still.
“We’re on target, monkey,” his dad says, peering at the screen and clicking on some stuff. “Looks like we can start testing these on Wednesday.”
“And the whole suit soon?” Peter asks, looking up at him and blinking.
“If we get your diorama done on time…yes,” Tony says.
Peter smiles at him, and holds his hand out, the hologram shining around it. He knows his dad is one of the smartest people in the whole wide world, but what they’re doing here with this, this suit, it’s the coolest thing ever, and he doesn’t think anybody smarter could make it the same or better.
Nobody is like his dad.