Work Text:
It felt wrong to wake him up, counterintuitive. Zach’s worries were that Greg wasn’t gonna love him forever, so why do something irritating and annoying? Was he trying to catalyze his fears into reality? Obviously not, but after lying awake all night worrying himself sick about it, he couldn’t stand it anymore. To be fair, it went deeper than solely that night, this had been in the back of his head since they started dating — it’d just become more of a foreground thought.
Looking over at Greg, who was soundly sleeping beside him, his stomach only felt queasier. Greg already had a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep, who was he to ruin a good night's sleep for him? This could just wait until morning…probably…maybe…okay, if Zach was a regular person with a normal amount of insecurities, it could have, but he wasn’t. At all. His insecurities and self esteem issues consumed him at all times, and he just wanted to know he had stability in the one good thing he had, was that too much to ask? At 2:46 in the morning, probably, but he was reaching his breaking point.
Already feeling like a horrible boyfriend, he reached a hand over and lightly shook Greg, trying to gently wake him up. Unfortunately, his “light” and “gentle” was a lot more rough than the average person. Greg groaned groggily, confused and disgruntled as he was woken up.
“Can I talk to you?” Zach anxiously rushed out before Greg could even be conscious enough to remember who he was in bed with.
Greg rubbed his eyes, hands heavy and uncoordinated in his half-asleep state. “…wh…huh…?” He mumbled out.
“I, Uh, I can’t sleep because of something, and I want to.. talk to you about it? So I can sleep..? Please…?” Zach attempted to whisper this time, not wanting to startle or overwhelm Greg.
The amount of words Zach was using alone was enough to scramble his mind in this state. “Dude…wait…” He yawned, going to grab their blankets and pull them back over himself, only for his hands to find nothing. “You’re…taking all the blankets…” He grumbled.
Zach immediately evened out the blanket distribution between them, feeling even worse now. He was more of a disturbance than he’d thought. “Sorry, I’m sorry,” He whispered back, his sweaty hands gripping onto his allotment of covers. Greg just hummed back in drowsy gratitude as he pulled the blanket over himself to go back to sleep.
“Wait-“ Zach quietly spat out, yet again feeling like shit about it. He could make out a barely audible “What?..” from Greg, he was obviously not all there.
“Uh…are you…gonna leave me?”
That seemed to partially snap Greg awake, as he turned himself over to look at Zach, eyes slightly open. “Dude…what?”
“I don’t know!- I’m just, worried…” Zach’s voice made itself smaller and smaller with each word, retracting into himself and away from Greg. This was totally a stupid reason to wake him up, he should have just let him sleep, now Greg totally was gonna leave him, and rightfully so! —
His mind was silenced as he felt the increasingly familiar sensation of Greg’s lips against his. It was warm, reassuring — it was exactly what he needed. God, he really was in love with him, how could he not be? It was like Greg could read his mind, and cared enough to act on it. That’s all he’d ever wanted.
He moved to raise a hand to his face, but was intercepted by Greg’s own hand grabbing his and loosely lacing their fingers together — somehow, despite his chronically awkward essence of being, Greg was pretty damn smooth when it came to Zach. It matched well with how easily flustered and nervous Zach could get about him.
After a moment or two longer, Greg pulled away and buried his face into Zach’s neck, arm laying over his chest with their hands still twined.
“I’ve wanted this since…I don’t know, middle school…?” Greg mumbled into Zach’s neck. “I’m not giving it up now,”
Zach closely took in how Greg’s skin felt against his, how comforting it was to have him so close. He squeezed his hand lightly, wanting to make sure he didn’t let go. “So…” He snuggled himself closer to Greg. “You’re…not-“
“-not gonna leave you.” Greg butted in, finishing his sentence for him.
Zach smiled, but was trying not to smile too wide, as if he was gonna give himself away to a guy who probably wasn’t even fully awake, and who was also already his boyfriend…so, not much to give away anymore. Either way, his racing thoughts were beginning to quiet themselves, his mind being at a volume lower than 15 for the first time in hours. Now it was back to its usual state, which probably sat around an 8 or a 9. Still loud, but after a lifetime of it, he’d gone a bit deaf.
With Greg cuddled up next to him, maybe he could get his brain down to a 6 or 7. Greg was good at quieting his brain, making things feel okay — just by existing around him. They had a special bond like that.
“…I love you,” He whispered quietly to him, knowing he was probably already half asleep again.
Following a small noise of acknowledgment, he got back a muffled “Love you too”, which was enough for him.
Finally, after a whirlwind night being in his own head, Zach drifted to sleep.