Chapter Text
They saved Cas.
It took them longer than either of them expected.
It already was mid-October when Sam and Dean laid Cas' unconscious body on a bed in the bunker.
Amara was defeated, Lucifer was locked up in the cage again, Cas was safe. Finally, Cas was alive and safe, he was home.
Dean left the room as soon as Cas' head touched the pillow, he didn't look at Sam on his way out, he knew Sam looked at him, he didn't freaking stop ever since Dean let those 3 little words leave his mouth.
Cas... No, Lucifer held the collar of his shirt, his fist lifted, ready to strike a final punch on Dean's already bit up face, "any last words, Winchester?" he smiled.
"Cas, buddy, please listen to me." talking was painful, but Dean didn't care, he had to get his friend back.
"Cas, please. I need you" Lucifer seemed to have lowered his hand a little. 'I need you' worked with Naomi but it just wasn't enough this time. So Dean said the only thing that came to his mind.
"Castiel", he paused for a second, once he says it, there's no turning back-
"I love you"
Dean walked into the kitchen and started to look for alcohol, he pleaded numbness, he wanted to shut himself down, but unfortunately, he found nothing. He assumed Sam had cleaned out the alcohol so Dean couldn't do anything stupid, or maybe Dean just drank it all and was yet to fill up the supply.
"Dean, are you ok?" Sam was leaning on the doorframe, not wanting to invade Dean's personal space.
" 'm fine" his voice was sore, he just then realized that he hadn't said a word since the 3.
"Cas is going to wake up soon, I figured you'd want to be there when he does. I'm sure he'd like that." Sam's tone was encouraging, Dean could sense a smile in his voice.
Dean couldn't bring himself to look at Sammy's face, he knew what expression was on it, he wore the same expression on his face ever since Cas expelled Lucifer and fell into Dean's arms, mumbling a silent "I love you too"
Dean grabbed his coat from the back of the chair and headed towards the door. He didn't want to see Cas when he woke up, he wasn't even sure if he could ever look Cas in the eye again. He wanted to drink himself to a half conscious state and then spend the night in the Impala.
"I'm going to a bar. Don't wait up for me." he said and closed the door behind him.
The drive was quite, calm, a nice refreshment from the ride back to the bunker.
Dean sat in the back sit with Cas' head on his knees. Sam thought it would be best for Dean to be near Cas, in case he woke up, Sam wanted Dean to be the first thing he sees. Moreover, Sam thought Dean'd like to be near the person he loves. Sammy was so supportive, and it made Dean feel even worse about what he'd said.
When Dean said what he said the only thing he could think about was saving Cas, he didn't consider the consequences, he didn't think Cas would say it back with so much truth in his eyes.
He was certain Cas meant it, but he wasn't sure he did.
Dean walked into the bar and sat on a bar stool next to a raven haired guy.
The guy was wearing a teal button-up shirt and was holding a half empty glass of some sort of fruit cocktail, he wasn't someone you'd expect to see in a bar in the middle of nowhere at 2:27AM.
The guy looked just as depressed and confused as Dean.
He doesn't know if it was the 4 glasses of liquor he drank in a span of 5 minutes, or the fact he just had to talk to someone, but something made Dean turn to the stranger and ask him why he looked so down.
The man lifted his amazingly blue eyes and looked at Dean, making sure he was talking to him. "Oh it's nothing really.." his voice was surprisingly deep, and he spoke with a somewhat northern -British accent.
"It's just that I had a fight with the... with.. I had a fight with my best friend" . Dean felt sorry for the guy. "Do you want to talk about it buddy?" it was obviously the alcohol talking, but it was also Dean's desire to forget about his own problems for a second.
the man shifted a little in his seat. "Well, I'm here on a long needed vacation with my best friend." he paused and took a sip from his drink. "We were on tour, non-stop, for the past year now and we really wanted a break. Yesterday, the 19th of October, was the 7th anniversary of our first meeting."
He paused again, tears were starting to form in his eyes. "We were supposed to spend the evening together but he decided to go on a date. And-" he choked a little, as the tears were so close to falling from his eyes.
"Ohh look at you, so fancy! You do realize we're going to the cinema and not a ball, right?" Phil chuckled lightly at the sight of Dan in a suit. "I'm not going to the cinema, Phil. Not tonight"
Phil was a little confused by his words. "Wha.. What do you mean? Tonight's the 19th, Dan, remember?" Dan looked at him with empty eyes.
"What difference does it make? Seven years and everything's the same." Phil was confused, why was Dan so angry. "What was supposed to change?" Phil asked carefully.
"Us." Dan looked at his best friend for a moment and then continued, "I'm 25, Phil. I think It's about time I found myself a love interest, I'm tired of being alone. Now if you'd excuse me, I have a lady waiting for me." This whole conversation was so unexpected. "But.. why now? Why today?" Phil stood up and tried approaching Dan, he backed away from him. "I'm tired of waiting. And the fact that your plans for tonight were cinema, assures me that I shouldn't have waited this long at all."
Phil had never been so confused in his life. "Waiting for what? What are you talking about!?"
"Waiting for you, Phil" he said and closed the door behind him.
"I never knew he loved me, and now it's too late" the tears were now full-on streaming down the guy's face. Dean put his hand on his back and rubbed it a little, "hey, hey, listen.... buddy..."-"Phil"
"listen, Phil, everything is going to be ok, it's just a date, you'll tell him that you love him too tomorrow, and I'm sure everything will be just fine." Phil rubbed his eyes and turned to Dean. Phil was drunk, Dean could tell he doesn't drink often, and he was a sad drunk, Dean's least favorite. But it was Dean who started the conversation, and it sure did take his mind off of Cas, well, at least until the boy started talking about being in-love with his best friend.
"How do you know that?" Phil asked his voice still a bit shaky.
Dean sighed, "I, too, almost lost my best friend, only in my case he almost died. He's fine now, tho... but in the chaos, I... I told him I loved him, and I'm not sure I meant it."
Phil smiled softly at Dean. Something in his big, blue, comforting eyes reminded Dean of Cas. He felt an ache in his chest at that thought. "If you're not sure you love him, why did you tell him that?" Dean thought for a moment. "It was the only way to save him. I know it sounds insane, but it's true. And I know there's something more than just friendship between us but... I don't know. It's all so confusing, I've never felt that way towards a guy, before." Phil's smile became softer. "It's fine, mate"-"Dean"-"It's absolutely normal, Dean. Do you know if he... You know, might return your feelings?" Dean looked at the empty glasses on the table "I know he does. I've known for a while now, that's why I knew 'confessing' would work." Phil took another sip of the red liquid and flinched a little "well then, maybe you should tell me how you feel about him? Maybe it'll help you make up your mind?" for some reason Dean felt really comfortable talking to this stranger, he rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes. He thought of every moment Cas and him shared, of every time Cas had saved him. "He Saved me from hell, literally" Phil chuckled at the unfamiliar pronunciation of the word. "He helps me whenever I need him, he always comes when I call." Dean sighed "I know I feel something towards him, but I can't settle down, I just can't, my job won't allow me." Dean thought of Jessey and Cesar, he wished he could retire like they did. Retire and raise horses with Cas, have a normal life for him, for Sammy, for Cas. "I don't want this life for him. He can't stay with me, it'll ruin him even more. He betrayed his family, abandoned his home. I can't let him sacrifice more for me. I don't deserve him." Dean downed the 7th glass of whisky. "Don't say that, Dean. I'm sure you're a great guy. And if he loves you, and he's willing to give all of this up for you, I'm sure he'll be fine with whatever lifestyle you have. And I assume you'd do the same for him." Phil was right. Dean would do all of this and more for Cas. he looked up at the nice stranger in front of him "how did you realize you loved him?" he asked. Phil seemed so sure of his feelings, Dean needed his help. Phil thought for a moment then took another swig of his beverage "I guess I've always known, ever since we first started talking. We met on the Internet, you see." Phil assumed the man was too old to know what a 'Youtuber' was, so he was trying to keep it simple, "he saw my videos and liked them, we started talking and then met and instantly became best friends. We became flat mates when Dan began Uni, and we've lived together ever since. I've realized I loved him a long time ago, I just wasn't sure if he felt the same and was too afraid I might ruin our friendship, so I didn't say anything." Dean looked at him and waited for him to continue, "but how did you understand that you love him?" he asked when Phil didn't continue. "I don't know. I guess I understood that friend don't usually stare at each other for so long, that friends don't usually wait for their friend to wake up to eat breakfast, our fans helped as well, they see it as their mission to make a gif of every time I look at Dan with what they like to call, 'heart eyes'" Dean took a moment to process the information.
He drank the 8th shot and brought his green eyes up to look at Phil.
"I think I love him, Phil."
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"Are you sure you could drive? You drank a lot of alcohol now" Dean offered Phil to take him back to his hotel as it was very late and Phil was very drunk, and it was the least he could do for the nice stranger who helped him so very much. "I'm fine, trust me, I've driven in worse conditions" Phil wanted to protest but it was pointless, it was the only way he could get back to the hotel. He'd walked to the bar, it took him 2 or 3 hours to get there, and he couldn't walk this far in his intoxicated state. It was very nice of Dean to offer him a lift, but he was still a bit worried about driving with a drunk stranger.
Dean didn't feel drunk at all. He drank 9 glasses of whisky but it didn't affect him whatsoever, he was disappointed as he didn't get the numbness he needed so much, but also glad, as he really wanted to help his new-found pal.
Dean led him to a black, old-looking car. "You have a nice car" Phil looked at Dean who was looking at his car, smiling. "She's more than nice, for most of my life Baby was the only home I had" he stroked the hood lovingly.
They got into the car and Phil had a really hard time keeping his eyes open, Dean told him he could rest for a bit as he knew where his hotel was, so he laid his head against the window. His thoughts wandered to Dan. What will he tell him? Will he just approach him and tell him he loves him? Maybe he should just kiss him? But what if the date went well? What if Dan went to her place? What if he'll leave him? Phil began to panic, but he couldn't have another mental breakdown in front of Dean, the poor guy had his own problems. Phil reminded himself to breath, He reminded himself that he knows Dan for 7 years and no matter what, he'll always listen, everything will be ok.
Dean looked at the guy sitting next to him, he was clearly much younger than him.
Phil's head was resting on the window and Dean smiled at the sight. He reminded Dean of Sammy a little, his behavior, warm smile, and the way he listened to him and sincerely tried to help.
Dean was sure Sammy and Phil would really get along.
Dean also knew for sure that Dan was a lucky guy.
They arrived at the hotel and as Phil was about to step out of the car, he froze. "What's up buddy?" Dean asked. Phil was staring at something, his mouth slightly open, Dean followed his gaze and saw Phil was looking at a handsome, brown haired, young man who was sitting on a couch in the lobby, his eyes closed and his phone on his chest. Phil quickly reached to his back pocket and took his phone out. 29 missed calls from Dan and 91 text massages.
"Are you ok, Phil?" Dean put a hand on Phil's shoulder, he nodded slowly.
"I can't believe he waited for me to come back, I was sure he won't even notice I wasn't there." Dean was surprised when Phil smiled and hugged him, but he hugged him back, happy for him. "Thank you." Phil whispered and got out of the car.
Dean watched as he walked into the lobby and woke Dan up. Dan then got up and hugged Phil tightly, burring his face in Phil's shoulder.
Dean smiled at Phil when he turned around and waved at him. Dean could see he was mouthing 'good luck' so he whispered a 'thank you' and waved back.