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Chapter Text

Elizabeth needed money.

Now does the red hood kill people for stealing from him. Probably.

But she was starving and it was winter and her blanket got stolen and she was dirty.

Plus it wasn't like if he wouldn't have spare tires for his bike. If he didn't he wouldn't have left his motorcycle alone in the middle of one of the side alleys.

Nobody did that in crime alley and expect not to be robbed.

So now she was in the middle of an empty alleyready to steal a crime lords tires.

With nothing more than a tirejack and her bare hands.

Now they were expensive tires or atleast the bristol teen who was willing to pay her 1800 bucks for one (ONE!!!) fucking tire.

God she could pay for an apartment with that money.

She was so fucking close to leaving the streets.

And when that became an option she stopped having one.

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Jason was exhausted. He'd just left a talk with a drug dealer because he'd been dealing to kid's.

Now he'd ignored it when he'd dealt to a seventeen year old but he'd sold to a fourteen year old . A fourteen year old. And he'd claimed it wasn't dealing to kid's because  "She's a teen , and at her age I was already working so she can have a bit of weed".

He hated that asshole.

He was glad that's all that was needed from him today because he barely could make the rooftop walk to his bike.

Not only had his number three rule been broken but he'd also missed family night.

Now he doesn't care about family nights much . But Mar'i was going to be there, and he loved that two year old so much. 

He would even go so far as to say he was her favourite uncle. He was that sure of it.

I mean what other uncles were crime lords??

The only reason he's even sleep deprived is because he'd been forced to attend the Justice league meeting and it was so hard not to laugh.

They were stupid, like really , how do you believe batman gave birth to like eleven people.

This all started because of dickie boy and aunt Kate deciding to be absolute dumbasses and messing with the league. While he supposed it was ,at least partly, his fault for going along with it he didn't expect it to be kept for this long.

They kept the facade for nearly four years. Four  years.

Honestly he was pretty used to it. But still it took his sleep deprived ass so much energy to not start laughing.

He just wanted to go home.

And he was so close. He'd walked five rooftops and the next litte alley was where he'd parked his bike.

So one last jump an-

Jason is wayyy more tired than he thought.

I mean he's hallucinating a whole ass kid. And hes hallucinating them stealing his tires.

Or maybe just a 3 foot and a half(he thinks at the very least) gremlin.

Hes pretty sure its a kid though. He really hopes gremlins don't wear joker green t-shirts. And that they dont have hair like humans.

Or if they did it wouldn't be auburn .

What is he thinking? He's stupid.

Thats a kid. 

A kid is stealing his tires. His tires.

Fuck.

His siblings are going to laugh at him so much. 

I mean thats how he met B for crying out loud.

At least he isn't going to keep her (Unlike a Certain someone).

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Elizabeth's focus is solely on the tires.

She'd nearly finished removing one. 

Unfortunately that meant she didn't hear the red hood sneaking up on her( how is he even that sneaky he's like 6'3).

So she was soon to be dead,  I mean the red hood caught her stealing his tires.

So , before he gets to threatening her , she decided to ask him for some ice cream.

I mean she might as well die happy.

So , yes ,  while he picked her up like a puppy she decided to ask for ice cream.

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Jason like any respecting human being decided to at the very least see his thief.

So , using the shadows to his favour , he carefully made his way to his bike.

He,  in a split second , picked up the child by the collar .

Yet he ended  up being startled when she yelled , and not because she yelled but because of what she yelled.

So there he was , shocked, relling when his thoughts are interrupted again.

This time the voice was far softer but somehow still as demanding , and as it asked:

«So ... , does this mean I'm not getting ice cream , or... ? »

Jason realised he hadn't answered. 

Andhe wouldn't have to bother, because  his training kicked in and in auto pilot he went:

《No,  but I know a place with good chilli dogs? C'mon lets go》while patting behind him on his bike.

He'd never hated his autopilot more.

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Elizabeth did not expect to be invited to go eat some chilli dogs.

She didn't even expect to get her ice cream.

Now she knew it was stupid to follow known serial killers to second locations.

But it was either die in a dank alleyway , while hungry or in a (hopefully) cleaner area with food in her stomach.

So she got on his bike.

And prayed to god she would , at the very least have food before dying.

Chapter Text

Elizabeth felt the air course through her hair.

Elizabeth felt the air course through her hair.

She was on THE red hoods bike after trying to steal his tires.

She was confused to say the least.

Because not only had he gotten her a chilli 
dog , but he also was going to get her some ice cream ??

So he claimed at the very least.

Apparently Bo's parlor didn't have "good" ice cream .

He was insisting on taking her to the bay's ice cream place. She wasn't sure of the name because she'd zoned out in shock.

Not only did he get her food , but "good" food at that.

Well according to him. It was actually shitty.

Like she knew he had horrible taste in clothes but she didn't know that _also_ transferred to food.

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Jason was worried.

An 8 year old?

 A child willingly got in a vehicle(on a vehicle?) with someone they believed was going to kill them. 

For food.

Didn't replacement have a program for that? 

Neon knife or something?

In any case , where the fuck was she from? Who raised her?

He doubted they were a street kid. I mean street kids taught each other better. They knew stranger danger better than most kids due to trial and error.

But so did most alley kids. And the kid's accent was recognisable from the second they opened they're mouth.

God , he didn't even know they're name. Or their gender.

Has he been misgendering them all along?

God...

He jumped suddenly , after the kid  yelled at him. 
 
He turned to glare at them , and they glared back.

Did they have _no_ survival instinct?

In any case they mumbled something. He didn't hear them though.

So he spoke up : "Kid, speak up, i can't hear you"

Now he didn't expect an answer , yet he got one anyways in the form of a yell : " I said keep your eyes on the road ! "

Now he'd basically stopped the bike to turn around to look at them.

The child didn't seem scared if anything they seemed pouty? They're arms we're crossed and they're hair , which would be down to slightly below their neck was covering all their face so no facial expression.

Without warning he was dropped in the middled of a conversation.

 "Fucking joker goons"- mumbled Dick. 

Now last time he was in a Justice league meeting he'd been made to pay like 10 dollars into a "swear jar", on his behalf. Karma was sweet. 

So he whispered into comms , as to not have the kid listen in : " money in the jar Nightwing."

"What are you doing on cooms,little bird?" He questioned.

"Yeah , what _are_ you doing around here?" Asked tim , who was apparently _also_ on comms.

 Fuck.

What was he supposed to say? I kidnapped a kid of the street , thay demanded Ice cream and he was getting them some?

Apparently his lack of answer was taken for disconnection because before he knew it replacement was asking him if he was disconnected. 

Specifically "You left already , Hood?" 

He either was too sleepy or really deep in thought because it really startled him

He replied "No" but he must've been to loud because he could feel the kid analysing him.

He continued on comms "I'm not doing much, just patrolling, and what about you Nightwing? Aren't you supposed to be at home with Mar'i?"

He had to cut the conversation short before getting an answer,  lest they hear the kid.

"Which is also where I should be.Specifically in bed. Asleep. Red Hood out."

He had promised the kid ice cream.But where to get it? There's no place in Gotham open right now.

Plus now that he'd said he was going home he was going to be tracked.

He did have ice cream in his freezer. Plus he probably would have taken the kid home anyways. He'd never leave a kid on the streets of Crime alley at this time of night.

Plus they had really shitty guardians. They wouldn't miss them one night, right?

"Get on the bike kid , we're getting you some ice cream." He told them.

Now the kid , with their cero survival instinct answered him. With a "where to exactly?"

 And before he could even answer they added "and in any case I'm already on the bike."

Had Jason not realised how little survival instinct this kid had , which they'd just confirmed he probably would have lied. Or not told them.

If Jason had more sleep he wouldn't have told them. Or probably not even been in said situation.

Instead he replied "We're goin' to my safe-house. Now c'mon"

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"Get on the bike kid, we're getting you some ice cream." Asked? Demanded? Of her Red Hood. 

He must be kinda stupid - she thought - or blind to not see she was on his bike already. 

That being said she wasn't about to tell him that .

Instead she decided to ask "And where to exactly?"

She wanted to know where to avoid getting ice cream at. Other than the bay of course.

She , when the silence and his standing there became slightly to long also decided to add "in any case I'm already on the bike." 

She was seventy-eight percent he forgot she already was.

And since it was over seventy-five percent , she might as well remind him.

It was cold , and the bike was uncovered.

So either she goes in a shop and stops being cold or she gets killed and no longer feels cold.

Either way the cold would no longer bother her.

So she turned to the crimelord that had killed most of the alleys heavy hitters , planning to tell him to hurry up , when he met her gaze and said "We're goin' to my safe-house. Now c'mon."

Why would he tell her that ? 

Is that where she'll be killed? 

At the very least she wouldn't be cold and get her ice cream.

She really hoped The crimelord that killed half the important people of crime alley had ice cream in his freezer.

She wasn't getting ice cream , was she?

Chapter Text

Jason was exhausted. So yeah maybe he'd taken a kid home. And let them crash on his couch. And given them a blanket.

but it's not like he's keeping them (Him?? Her??? He was still unsure.). 

On top of the kid that's Sleeping on his couch everything was normal.

Oh who was he kidding??? Himself??

He had a kid sleeping on his couch.

Nothing about that was normal.

A kid who had no safety alarm in their head.

Who follows a random crimelord home in exchange for ice cream.

But here he was making breakfast for himself and the kid.He hoped they liked pancakes 

"Hey."- Said the child , not realising that they had just give him a heart attack. How where they that quiet?? 

Interrupting his thoughts, the child kept talking " I was promised ice cream. I still don't have my ice cream. And pancakes are not ice cream , even if thay both taste good."

Oh god. He had kidnapped a kid. A kid who was still asking for pancakes after being kidnapped by a fucking crimelord. Where do they keep their self preservation instincts? I a locked up box?

The child, oblivious to his inner turmoil continued : "Hey?? Anybody up there??? Or just a brainless zombie??." Which was rude. What was ruder was what they mumbled after.

"Should've known mister Red helmet but goes by red hood didn't have a single braincell" So Jason did the logical thing. Interrupted him/her. Interrupted it.

"Excuse you, I'll let you know I do have a brain. One with functional braincells whole we're at it" The child just looked up at him , clearly confused. But he continued "And what's your name? It feels like something I should know seeing as I'm you know?? Making you breakfast"

The child apparently, who had finally gotten some self preservation answered " I'm not supposed to tell strangers my name " 

What was his life.

Except apparently it didn't have enough self preservation to not tell him "But sice your making me breakfast you can call me Eli"