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Rumi couldn't sleep.
She briefly dozed off earlier, but soon jolted awake in panic from an especially bad nightmare, fueled in the worst ways by the night’s earlier events. Her patterns had lit up to that angry shade of pink from her terror, casting a sick glow across her room and only adding to her turmoil. They dimmed some after a while, though some lines still streaked brightly across her body.
She tried to wait it out, but once she couldn't take it, she had practically pounced on her favorite oversized hoodie, yanking it on over her usual white crop top. It didn't hide the light from the marks on her hands or face, but it shut out most of it from everywhere else.
And now she was too scared to close her eyes again. She curled tight into herself while she rested on her right side, staring out through the massive window in her room as her mind refused to settle down.
Mira had suggested talking about everything after everyone got some rest, and her and Zoey retreated to Mira's room like they did most nights. Like every night, Rumi returned to her own room.
Alone.
She had always longed for more, for that little extra closeness the other two had, but her patterns restricted her from so much. She was too afraid to share a bed in case a sleeve got pushed up, she couldn’t go further than cuddles and tame kisses, and she certainly couldn't go to the bathhouse. Even her dressing rooms wherever they went were isolated.
But maybe that could finally change.
They knew now. They knew and had seemingly accepted her during that last battle, so things could only go up from here.
Right?
Unless they don't love me in that way anymore.
Unless they think my patterns are ugly.
Unless they won’t forgive me.
Unless-
Rumi inhaled sharply as the image of Mira raising her blade towards her flashed in her mind, Takedown’s lyrics in Mira’s voice sounding alongside it. Zoey had been more hesitant, only following their visual’s lead, but the resolution in Mira’s eyes seemed to haunt her.
Unless they're just waiting to end me.
She shoved that thought down, not willing to allow herself to explore that fear. If they truly felt that way about her, they wouldn't have been able to restore the honmoon, she reasoned.
It wasn't guilt from having the patterns that prompted these thoughts, it was that she hid them. That she lied to their faces again and again , especially to Mira, so focused on trying to fix herself that she ignored how it was ripping them apart.
How it had hurt the two people most important to her.
Muffled laughter broke through her spiraling, and Rumi sat up to see light coming through the bottom of her door. They must not have been able to sleep either, which wasn't necessarily surprising considering Zoey never liked going to sleep upset. Part of her wanted to ignore that and wallow in her misery a bit longer -
But she was tired of being alone.
Carefully, she eased off her bed and, before she could overthink and stop herself, turned the doorknob.
Mira and Zoey’s faces peeked over the back of their couch, their eyes widening as Rumi approached. They didn't look mad. Or disgusted, or vengeful.
They looked concerned.
Rumi’s panic picked right back up, the memories from the past several hours replaying again as her breathing quickened and her hands instinctively gravitated inwards, grasping for her arms.
She immediately regretted not staying in bed until she would've been inevitably forced to have this conversation.
“Baby?”
That was Mira’s voice. She didn't use the nickname often, so it immediately caught Rumi’s attention, cleaving through everything racing through her mind. Her gaze snapped to the taller woman, and mixed with the worry and fear she found, there was the steady love and protectiveness Mira constantly exuded. And when she looked at Zoey, Rumi saw her always bright adoration and care shining through her own concern.
Something lightened in her at the familiarity.
Rumi knew that if she stayed where she was, her girlfriends would be at her side in an instant, meeting her where she was at like they always did.
This time, she decided, she would go to them for once.
The first step was the hardest, and she didn't miss the way Mira and Zoey shared quiet, shocked gasps. She quickly reached the back of the couch, climbing over it with practiced ease and landing gently to sit between the two women. “I’m sorry,” she whispered with a tearless sob that wracked through her body.
They reached for her immediately, Mira pulling Rumi in and tucking her in against her chest while Zoey cuddled up to Rumi's other side, resting her head on the purple haired woman’s shoulder. Mira stretched an arm across them, loosely holding both of her girls.
Rumi didn't notice how the last flares of pink marks died out immediately at the contact, too focused on how much she had missed this , on how she had also missed out on this. For the first time, she didn't have to be hyper-aware of where they touched her, predicting where their hands might drift to next. She didn't have to think about what her clothes were covering, or if she was going to have to excuse herself before she risked letting her guard down.
She could just feel .
Feel the way Mira’s hand swept in small, soothing circles across her back, her chin resting on the top of Rumi’s head and how reassuring it felt to just barely push up against the weight. Feel the way Zoey’s breaths lightly brushed against her neck, the rhythm coaxing her own breathing to follow. Feel how the lyricist's arm provided a grounding weight from where it rested across Rumi’s chest, her hand brushing against Mira’s shoulder so she could be touching both of them.
Rumi only realized she had actually started crying when Zoey tenderly reached that same hand up to her face, wiping her tears away, and Rumi briefly pressed her face into the younger woman's touch.
“I guess I should start from the beginning,” she finally stated, her gaze downcast while she spoke. “You already know who my mom was, but my dad was a demon. I was born with my patterns, though they started out much smaller. Celine always told me to cover them up, that you two wouldn't understand.” Both women wrapped around her scoffed at that, and the sound was surprisingly comforting. “She promised me that once the Honmoon turned golden, my patterns would disappear, and you would never know.”
“That’s why you pushed up the Golden release, isn’t it?” Zoey asked gently, pulling away slightly to look at Rumi. “And why you gradually started wearing longer sleeves? Because they kept spreading?”
Rumi nodded, shifting so she could turn her head to look at Zoey. Her eyes were bright, the gleam of I figured it out! evident in them as she began to piece together Rumi’s reasoning behind her actions.
The sight made Rumi’s heart swell.
“We were finally so close, and the quicker it turned golden .. the sooner I wouldn't have to miss out on so much with you anymore.” Her voice quieted with the admission of the last several words.
Mira pressed a light kiss to Rumi’s temple, right on one of her marks, judging by the sensation that bloomed from the point of contact. “We’re upset that you hid this and lied to us more than anything. I just wish you felt you could've told us.” Her tone was somber, and Rumi hated the sadness twisted in it.
Sadness that she had caused.
“I wanted to,” Rumi rushed out as she pulled her upper body away from the embrace so she could better face the pink haired woman, hoping her expression conveyed every emotion roaring through her. “I thought about telling you every day, I promise. But Celine convinced me that neither of you would accept me, that you’d only see me as the enemy.” Her eyes flitted down to where Zoey was holding one of her hands, tracing the patterns there with awe and reverence, like she was touching something delicate, something beautiful.
“I don't know why I took her word for it,” she continued, still watching as Zoey moved to admiring the marks on her wrist. “She’s scared of me. She always has been, and she couldn't look past my patterns. I see that now.”
“Rumi, look at me,” Mira ordered, raising a hand to cup her face and turn it back towards her. Rumi met her gaze easily, stunned by the unwavering resolve she found there. It wasn't an unusual look for Mira by any means - she had seen it often enough during their countless fights with demons, usually combined with rage in those instances, but never aimed at her.
Mira had been their protector from the start, never hesitating to defend them in any situation and constantly offering to destroy anything that even slightly inconvenienced either one of them. Her Gok-do was a testament to that, being the largest of their weapons, and Mira wielded it with grace and precision. Her primary goal in life was to keep her girls safe, to keep her found family together.
And, under the weight of her stare, Rumi suddenly had a pretty good guess of what it felt like to be someone trying to get in the way of that mission.
“We love you , patterns included,” Mira assured, her voice fierce and confident, intent to make sure her girlfriend understood every word. “You've always had them, even if we didn't know it, so why would they make you a different person to us?”
Rumi didn’t want to admit it, but she hated how much sense that statement made. She was still Rumi , she hadn't asked for the patterns or done anything to receive them. They were simply a part of her, but she had been too ashamed of the demon aspect to consider that.
“We actually think they're really hot,” Zoey chimed in excitedly, like it was simply another random fact she just had to tell them about.
Rumi whipped her head out of Mira’s grasp and towards their maknae, already convincing herself she had heard wrong. Except Zoey was now looking just above her, like a deer in headlights, presumably at Mira, who had gone rigid beside her. “.. Was I not supposed to say that yet?”
Rumi’s attention turned back to the pink haired woman, her brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief. “Mira?”
There’s no way-
“Zoey’s right,” Mira confirmed in her usual matter-of-fact tone, leaving no room for doubt, and reached to grasp Rumi’s free hand, seeing as Zoey was still holding onto the other. “We couldn't sleep either, so we were talking before you came out of your room. We both agree on how we feel about your patterns, and how they look on you .”
Mira’s gaze swept across her visible skin, and Rumi flushed faintly under the attention.
“I told Zoey she could be the one to tell you, but only once we felt it was appropriate and thought you were ready to hear that. Apparently, she couldn't wait.” Mira huffed a laugh as she finished speaking, fondness radiating in the sound as she leaned forward across Rumi to briefly ruffle Zoey’s hair, who just giggled delightfully and looked at both of them like they hung the moon.
“Hold on,” Rumi interjected, glancing back and forth between them. “You both are seriously telling me that you find my patterns attractive ?”
She was dreaming, that had to be it. It was one thing to accept them, something she had just started working on, but to actually feel that way about them?
“ Yes! ” her girlfriends responded dramatically, and Rumi stilled, caught off guard by the turn this conversation had taken.
Celine couldn't even look at her patterns, unable to do anything more than tolerate them. That mentality burrowed itself into her from a young age, strengthened by every remark from her mentor. And eventually, she had lost sight of the possibility that this side of her could be loved, only seeing it as a flaw. A fault that needed to be corrected.
Yet, somehow, Mira and Zoey had only been phased by the secret-keeping and lies, and even Rumi nearly ruining everything hadn't shaken their love for her.
All of her.
Mira nudged her arm playfully after a few seconds, pulling her out of her thoughts. “And we're a bit disappointed you have them covered again.”
“I-” Rumi’s words were cut off as she felt Zoey lifting their linked hands up, and the next thing she knew, Zoey was placing reverent kisses along the marks on her inner wrist. Gradually, they began to light up under the brush of her lips, the glow illuminating her face in a way that made Rumi forget how to breathe.
They didn't shine that haunting pink this time, but rather iridescent, like sunlight casting rainbows through a piece of glass, just as they had a few hours ago. Wherever Zoey’s kisses traveled, the light followed, and, judging by the soft gasp against her ear, Mira had noticed too.
Once Zoey’s mouth met the edge of Rumi’s sleeve, she placed her fingers on the fabric to push it up and reveal new skin. Logically, Rumi knew she had no malicious intent, that she was just being affectionate like always, but-
Rumi flinched hard, yanking her arm back to herself as she gripped her shoulders.
She was consumed by the ghost feeling of hands on her, pushing and pulling as they tore away every defense, laying out her secret for the world to witness. Bright pink flared back to life along her exposed skin, the color only adding to her turmoil.
“You're a demon. A mistake.”
Their words rang in her mind, cutting through her as terror coiled around her chest, suffocating her from the inside out. She had become everything Celine tried to smother out of her - a feral, dangerous thing that should be feared.
That should be killed.
“ A demon with no feelings don’t deserve to live.”
No.
She forced her eyes to focus, looking out at their living room and trying to ground herself in what she could see. The black coffee table directly in front of her, the arm chairs a bit further away. The piano more over to her left and the potted Monstera beside it.
That. Wasn’t. Them.
Rumi repeated the phrase slowly in her mind, pacing her breathing to it as she concentrated on how the couch felt around her, dipping on either side from Mira and Zoey’s weight. She realized their hands weren't on her anymore, but their bodies were still pressed close.
“Ru?” Zoey asked, the word hushed and strained, sounding like she was desperate to help but just wasn't sure how.
Rumi’s exhale came out steadier than she expected, and she let go of her shoulders. Her eyes met Zoey’s, and she reached her right hand up to cup the lyricist’s face, lowering the other one in Mira’s direction. She hadn't completed her entire grounding routine, something she always used after nightmares, but it had worked to calm her enough for her patterns to go dormant and her heartbeat to slow.
The shorter woman’s eyes were wide with worry and unshed tears, but Rumi could also see guilt mixed in them. “Sorry Zo, it just startled me, that’s all. That wasn't your fault,” she apologized softly, figuring that's where Zoey’s thoughts had jumped to.
Mira took hold of the hand Rumi had offered her while she spoke, intertwining their fingers and lightly brushing her thumb in a sweeping motion along the side of Rumi’s pointer finger. The vocalist squeezed her hand in return and leaned into her a bit more, grateful for the subtle ways Mira had developed to comfort her.
Zoey pushed her cheek into Rumi’s palm, and Rumi kissed her forehead, cherishing the little giggle she let out. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have assumed that was ok just because we know about your patterns now,” Zoey replied, her demeanor a bit lighter after the reassurance, though her eyes still looked a little glassy.
Rumi moved her hand to Zoey’s back, gently pulling her closer into a real cuddle. The maknae was quick to snuggle up to her, nestling her face in the crook of Rumi’s shoulder. Mira hummed in content behind her and wrapped her arms around both of them, resting her head against Rumi’s.
As Zoey’s words sank in, something about the way she said it made Rumi pause and ask, “Wait, what did you two see of what happened at the Idol Awards?” She realized that since they obviously had not been on stage with her, she had no clue where they had gone.
“Not much,” was Zoey’s initial reply. “Right before we were supposed to go back on stage, we saw Bobby being carried away by two demons. We ran after him, only to find out that it was a trap, and then we heard Takedown playing.”
Mira added in, “We knew something wasn't right, that you must be in trouble, and started running back to you. By the time we made it there, you looked,” she hesitated, searching for the right word, “.. feral .. and were covered in patterns.”
Rumi didn't say anything for a few seconds, trying to process what they had experienced. Mira and Zoey remained silent as well, patient as always when it came to her.
“Somehow,” she started, “Jinu knew about Takedown and tricked me with two demons that looked exactly like both of you. They shoved me around and tore my jacket off on stage.” She felt her girlfriends tense up around her, and Zoey let out a small, dismayed whine. Rumi pressed a kiss to the top of her head, hoping to soothe her distress.
“Up until now, my patterns were only on my arms, but I guess the fear of having them revealed made them spread everywhere.” Rumi took a breath before admitting, “I really thought they were you two, at first. I thought you had figured it out and hated me for it, and then I actually found you.” The words were hard to get out, feeling like sandpaper against her throat, but she needed to say them. “I was so relieved, but then I panicked when you started backing away. I didn't even realize how I must've looked, what you probably thought I’d done.”
Mira sighed behind her. “Finding out about your patterns that way hurt , Rumi. I won't pretend it didn’t. But I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to actually hurt you. I felt betrayed and didn’t know what was real, so I just responded to seeing patterns like how we always have.”
“You were trying to protect Zoey.” The memory would stick with Rumi for a while, likely haunting her nightmares, but she’d come to terms with Mira’s intentions. “It's who you are, Mira, and I’m not mad at you for it. We were all scared, you two had every right to feel the way you did. I shouldn’t have listened to Celine instead of trusting that you’d understand.”
Zoey picked that moment to ask, “Did something happen with Celine? You keep mentioning her.”
Rumi almost wanted to lie, not exactly ready to discuss everything that had been said between them. The night was heavy enough already, and exhaustion was finally settling into her.
Yet lying had caused all of this.
“I went to her afterwards, to show her what I’d become. I .. I offered her my sword and told her to do what she should've done from the start. But obviously she didn't go through with it.” The confession was barely audible, as if anything louder would shatter the moment.
The world seemed to hold its breath, silence blanketing over them as she waited for them to react.
Every agonizing second felt like one of Zoey’s blades digging into her, and she stared blankly at something on the floor, avoiding eye contact with her girlfriends.
Zoey was the first to speak. “You asked Celine to kill you ?” she asked in a horrified whisper, her voice breaking with the last two words. She raised her head from Rumi's shoulder, glancing briefly at Mira before returning to Rumi’s face.
Rumi didn't look at her, her face burning with guilt and she felt the familiar sting of tears forming. She didn't trust herself to speak, so she just nodded.
“Do you still want that?” Mira questioned softly, pulling her head away so she could meet Rumi’s eyes, though they were still firmly locked onto the floor.
Rumi didn't want to see the disappointment she was sure she'd find in their expressions, so she didn't look. She’d just admitted to nearly destroying things again , this time in a way that would've been irreparable. And while she believed that her girlfriends loved her, surely they wouldn't be pleased with how she’d tried to leave them to fix the problem she caused .
“I .. don't know,” Rumi breathed. “I’m better, I think, but ..”
“It’s ok, Rumi,” Zoey reassured. “You don't have to heal overnight. Take as much time as you need. We’ll always be here for you.”
“And you can tell us when you're struggling, ok? We knew something was up with you, and hated that we couldn't help because you wouldn't let us in. You don't have to go through this alone.” Mira kissed her forehead when she finished speaking, the contact lingering for a second longer than usual.
Rumi finally met their gazes, surprised to find sincerity and love instead of annoyance. “You're not mad?” Her voice was small, disbelief ringing in every word.
Celine had been upset with her, and immediately turned the conversation to be about herself , refusing to even acknowledge Rumi’s pain.
But Celine never loved her.
“Why on earth would we be mad ?” Mira looked utterly confused, hurt even, by Rumi’s question.
“I broke everything I tried to fix, even the honmoon itself. And now we have to explain my patterns t-”
“We’ll figure it out, like we always do,” Zoey interrupted calmly. “What matters is that you're here, because without you, we would've lost everything. Both as Huntrix and your girlfriends. I love you.” She hugged Rumi, burying her face against her neck and holding her tight, like she was trying to pour every ounce of that love into her girlfriend.
Mira rested her chin on top of Rumi's head like she had earlier, knowing how much she liked to be held like this. “And I love you. I’m proud of you for telling us.”
Here, in their arms and with everything out in the open, Rumi felt safe . For once, there was no weight on her shoulders, or any lingering anxiety about what they might see. There was just them and their love.
“I love you guys too. I’m glad you stayed.” The words didn't feel sufficient for everything she felt, everything she wanted to tell them. But there would be time later, when she wasn’t fresh off of coming to terms with her demon side and had gotten some sleep.
“You’re not getting rid of us that easily,” Zoey muttered into the skin of her neck with a small giggle that Rumi found herself repeating, though hers was more tearful.
“And no more secrets, I promise,” Rumi added. The weight of Mira's head on hers disappeared and Rumi tilted her face up, finding Mira watching her with a soft look only reserved for them. Her eyes flicked to Rumi's lips before meeting her eyes again, asking a silent question.
Rumi smiled faintly, raising up slightly to meet Mira halfway in a soft kiss. There was no heat to it, just love and unspoken words. When it broke after a few seconds, she rested her forehead against Mira’s, savoring the comfort it brought.
Zoey placed a few kisses along her jaw, mumbling something about it being her turn, but not rushing their moment. Rumi laughed lightly, angling her head down to briefly kiss Zoey as well, their noses brushing for a second. The younger woman then lifted her face up expectantly towards Mira.
It hit Rumi then just how lucky she had gotten. They had every right to hate her, yet they had just been kissing her marks and telling her they were pretty. Not ugly, not repulsive - but beautiful, attractive even. Hot , as Zoey so eloquently put it.
And now that they knew, she didn't have to deny herself anymore. She could go to bathhouse, sleep next to them, even-
A yawn from Zoey interrupted her thoughts, reminding Rumi what time it was. “Ok, maybe we do need to actually get some sleep now,” she suggested, and they reluctantly unfurled from each other, lazily getting off of the couch.
“Night, Rumi,” Zoey said in a sleepy voice, and kissed her cheek like she did every night.
“Hold on, where exactly do you think I’m going?” Her words had a teasing lilt to them, and she smiled, unable to resist having a little fun after everything.
“To your room? Where else would-” Zoey’s words cut off abruptly, her eyes lighting up as she beamed at Rumi, clearly realizing what she was suggesting.
Mira met her gaze, her expression one of cautious hope, and Rumi reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers again. “My patterns are the only reason I’ve always slept alone, as much as I’ve hated it. Now that you know about them, I don't have anything holding me back.”
Zoey let out a squeal and wrapped Rumi in a tight hug, squishing their cheeks together. All traces of her previous exhaustion were seemingly gone. “Oh my god! Does this mean you'll finally go to the bathhouse with us too?”
“Definitely,” Rumi laughed out, and Zoey responded with another excited noise before letting go of her and taking hold of her free hand, eagerly heading towards Mira's room with her girlfriends in tow.
Mira watched them with a look of pure content, staying beside Rumi while Zoey charged ahead. And while she likely wouldn't admit it, Rumi knew how much this meant to her - to finally have her family together without any walls between them.
They made it to Mira’s room, soft light pouring in from her window and illuminating the pinks and blacks that decorated the space. There were also hints of Zoey in here, a few of her shirts and notebooks littering the floor, obvious against Mira’s tidiness.
Rumi felt almost out of place, like she was somewhere foreign despite being in here countless times before. They'd had movie nights on this bed, brainstormed songs and outfits while sprawled out on the floor.
But she had never allowed herself to be vulnerable in this room, not in any room other than her own. She was going to have to get used to the fact that she now could do that.
That was when she realized she still had that hoodie on.
Zoey climbed into bed first, patting the spot beside her in an open invitation. Rumi moved towards the bed, but paused right before it and grabbed the bottom hem of her hoodie, tugging it off and throwing it somewhere to her side. She was just left in that simple crop top and one of her favorite pairs of pajama pants. Zoey’s face lit up, her eyes clearly roaming over her now bare arms and shoulders. The moonlight streaming in caught her patterns, glinting off them like they were some kind of gemstone.
Mira appeared behind her, resting her hands on Rumi’s waist and pressing a gentle kiss to her neck. “You're beautiful,” she murmured just above her skin, the brush of her breath spreading goosebumps along where it touched.
Rumi hummed in acknowledgment, turning her head to face Mira. She saw it then, her hoodie lying haphazardly across a chair in the corner of the room, joining other articles of Mira’s clothing and a plushie that had to be Zoey’s.
It felt right, for that to be the first piece of her left behind, marking this space as hers just as much as it was theirs .
Rumi moved to settle in next to Zoey, who instantly curled up against her front like she had been just a few minutes ago. The mattress dipped as Mira joined them, spooning Rumi and stretching an arm across her and Zoey.
Rumi had never felt safer, sandwiched between her girlfriends. This had been something she had longed for since they first shared that awkward, flustered confession and officially started dating. Now she actually had it, and could have anything else she had similarly wished for.
They exchanged another round of soft ‘ I love you ’s before drifting off to sleep, one by one.
Rumi was the last one awake, judging by the even breathing of the women wrapped around her, but it wasn't due to fear of another nightmare. It was because she wanted to savor this and enjoy it, to commit this night to memory, even with knowing they had thousands more ahead of them.
A soft glow began to emit from her patterns, starting from where their skin met and radiating outwards. Rumi watched it spread, tracking each line as it came to life, and she was starting to understand why Zoey and Mira thought they were pretty.
Apparently, Mira was not quite asleep. “Sweetheart, as much as I love your patterns and never want them covered again, if you're going to be a living night light, I’m not going to get much rest tonight.” Her voice was rough with sleep, but Rumi knew she wasn't being harsh.
Rumi tried willing the marks to dim, surprised when it actually worked. They didn't go out completely, still shining just a bit, but they didn't light up the space nearly as much. “Love you too, Mira,” she mumbled fondly before finally slipping asleep.
She didn't have a single nightmare that night.