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Levi peered out of the car window, quietly taking in the rows of off-apartments he’d toured a few mere months ago. He felt like a child, unsure of his new surroundings. Like letting go of his mother’s hand and walking blindly into an unfamiliar classroom.
“It’s a wonderful campus,” his mother smiled, twirling a few strands of inky-black hair around her fingers. Her other hand clutched the steering wheel. “I’m so glad you chose a place close to home. I’m not sure what I would do with you several cities away.”
“Only an hour,” he muttered, leaning back, skull colliding with the passenger seat headrest. Levi shut his eyes, envisioning the next few hours of unpacking. “You didn’t have to drive me, mom.”
“Pshh,” she waved her hand. “What were you going to do? Take the bus?”
At least it wouldn’t have the scent of cigarette smoke from Kenny. How can you stand that? “I could’ve..” Levi peered over, shaking his head. “But this is nice. Thank you.”
“You deserve the best,” she reasoned, reaching over and patting his lap as she continued to drive, weaving between buildings. “Very nice. Oh, these trees are gorgeous this time of year. Everyone seems so friendly in this city, Levi. So well kept…”
“Mom, it’s this place here,” he pointed out, straightening up.
“Oh!” She turned the wheel abruptly, Levi’s stomach lurching as she immediately backed into a parking space. “I wasn’t paying attention, silly me. These buildings all look so similar. What was your room number again, Levi?”
“Fifty-one, I think.” The academic year hadn’t quite begun, so an apartment complex primarily used by college students wouldn’t fill in until closer to the first quarter. Levi had chosen to move in a little bit earlier just to get acclimated.
Perhaps he was eager to get out of the house. After all, sharing the same living space with a loud, alcoholic uncle will make you crave some independence badly enough. And while he felt somewhat bad for leaving his mother to handle him, she could put the man in line easily enough. Otherwise, he would’ve been kicked out ages ago. “It’s a few floors up.”
“Well then, I suppose I’ll just have to leave you to it. Acclimating to a new living space is a very personal time for anyone, after all.” She hugged herself. “It’s difficult to let my little boy go,” his mother sniffed, rubbing her eyes. (Was she tearing up?) “But I suppose it cannot be helped.”
“You’ll get by just fine, mom,” he soothed, reaching over to take her hand, fingers weaving around her slim ones. “You told me it was just about time. And I agree. I need to begin learning how to live on my own. And you can visit me at any time, you know. I’m not very far away.”
“I know, I know,” she sighed, rubbing his hand. “I’ll need to get used to it, that’s all. Let me tell you, it will be quite different with only your uncle around.”
“Please, I’m sure he’s glad to see me go,” Levi scoffed, reaching for the door. “I’m just worried how you’ll fare with him as your only company.”
“I’ll manage.” Her fingers untangled from his. She leaned over, planting a quick kiss on his forehead. “You be good, you hear? Remember, every Sunday you come home for lunch, okay?”
“Yes, Ma..” he nodded, pushing the door open with a reassuring nod. “You’ll see me in a week. And if you miss me that bad, take some time off and come over, okay?”
“If you’re not too busy with your studies,” she noted, grasping his hand one last time. “Call me once you’ve gotten settled in!”
“Of course, mom.” With a nod, he bid his mother farewell and circled the car, taking his luggage from the trunk and dragging it over the apartment building’s stairs.
The lobby was modern and sleek—set up like a social space likely due to the college student population living inside.
While it would be a wise decision to socialize once settling down, Levi was, put simply, not in the mood and wouldn’t be for quite some time. Too much was on his mind—and creating a social status would be last on that list of tasks.
Levi fished around his pockets for his keys as he exited the elevator, muttering the room numbers beneath his breath as he walked.
Another more relevant concern was the type of roommates he’d receive. And God, how he hoped these people were competent. The arrangement wasn’t ideal, but living with two roommates would slash the boarding prices by a quarter. And oh, how tempting that offer was to someone like him, already financially strung tight with tuition. He was lucky to have scored the price he did.
As long as they aren’t obnoxious. As long as they are clean. Quiet. Respectful. Was having a decent human being as a roommate too much to ask for? He’d heard the horror stories before—all sorts of nasty he had no idea was possible.
Now, hopefully, he would have some time to settle in. Because he was so early, there was a chance his roommates wouldn’t be there yet. Perhaps it would give him a decent amount of time to acclimate.
“Fifty-one, here we are,” Levi whispered to himself, knocking first. Upon no answer, he reached for his keys, just in time for the door to swing open. He sucked in a breath, readying himself for the sight.
A bespectacled, hazel-eyed woman glanced up from her fort of boxes, tilting her head at the newcomer. She immediately rose, practically sprinting across the room to meet Levi at the door. “Hey there! I’m Hange! You must be the new roommate, right?”
Levi paled.
The form had asked for a specification of sex. And according to that, he assumed the residents would thus be the same.
“I’m Hange, by the way.” She held her hand out. Hesitantly, Levi took it.
“Must not be what you expected, right? Sorry, apartments were filling up so fast. It’s too bad the forms didn’t require any personal details.. but no matter. Moving in today?”
“…Yes.”
“And what’s your name?”
“Levi.”
“Wonderful! Anyway, your things are already in your room. The apartment comes with furniture—beds are a bit freaky but extremely comfortable. Her eyes never left him as she ambled back to the living room, continuing to unpack her items.
Levi just… stood at the door for a minute or two. He blinked, eyes flicking between each side of the room. The disappointment was beginning to well up, threatening to choke him as he stiffly walked across the room, luggage in tow. (But what did he expect? The form was vague.)
This was unpleasant... and certainly awkward. Perhaps he still had time to change apartments—then again, probably not.
He gingerly seated himself on the couch, peering at Hange’s stack of boxes. It was at least double the modest number of possessions he brought with him.
“Anyway, we might as well get to know each other if we’re going to be bunking together for a year,” she nodded decidedly, elbow-deep into a box. “Levi. That’s a good name.”
“Yours is… unique.”
Hange smiled. “My mother was a very unique person.”
“The firm said it would be three people living here, right?” He asked, looking around. It didn’t seem that anyone else aside from her was living here.
“Mhm. Other guy’s name is Moblit. He’s a close friend of mine. I’m sure you’ll like him.”
“Great,” Levi sighed, a tinge of relief in his voice. Another man. “Is this your first year?” He ventured, peering around. Perhaps it would be best to retreat to his room and start unpacking.
“Mhm. I’m guessing it’s yours, too?”
“That’s right.”
“I’ve heard the college is great. It’s not like Sina University, but I’m working towards that. What are you planning to study here, Levi?”
He had to admit—she was good with conversation starting. Especially choosing to discuss a topic she knew they both had in common. At least then they could establish a mutual understanding before delving into more personal topics. And while Levi wanted to avoid discussion, as he preferred work in silence… it at least passed the time.
“Business.”
“Ooh, entrepreneur level stuff?”
“Not quite. And you?”
“Biochemistry.”
“Daunting.”
“I’m already planning to spend several years for education, and plenty more in the field. Aiming as high as I can.”
“That’s bound to be expensive. You could only do so much in a place like this, right?”
Hange nodded. “That’s why I’m aiming for the university when I’m done here. Ambitious, I know, especially considering how prestigious it is. But I’ll get there. Even if it digs me deeper into a pit of debt,” she chuckled.
A good start. She seemed like a decent human being. But how many months of living together would it take to alter that? He didn’t want to get his hopes up yet. Especially now, with his… unique living condition.
“And you?” She continued, the stack of books by her feet slowly building. Quite the collection. “How long are you planning to be here?”
“Associate’s. So that’s two years of schooling here.”
“Plenty of time to get familiar with the city, too. I’m interested in what it has to offer in terms of entertainment. I’ve heard the bars here are great.” She leaned forward. “You don’t seem like a big drinker. Are you?”
“Not particularly.” The impression of alcohol in his life was nothing good—particularly considering his uncle reeked of it. A sip here and there was fine. Anything heavier never ceased to remind him of Kenny. “It’s not my idea of fun.”
“Well, everyone’s entitled to their own lifestyle. Honestly, not being affiliated with alcohol could be a good thing.” She pulled out a particularly heavy textbook, dragging it across her lap and dropping it onto the pile with a heavy thump. “So, no party life either, mm?”
Levi shook his head. “I’m not here for that.”
“My, how curt,” she smiled, adjusting her fingerprint rimmed glasses. “We’re quite different, aren’t we? But no matter. I think we’ll get along just fine.”
The conversation waned every now and then, sometimes becoming extremely one-sided. But it didn’t seem that Hange minded. She just continued on talking, fitting on her bedsheets and laying down several layers of quilts and blankets. Levi found his mood gradually improving as his side of the room felt more and more like home. Almost. The idea of sharing a living space with a woman was unsettling, but he figured he’d live.
If anything, Hange was lucky he wasn’t an awful man. Plenty of degenerates could take advantage of this kind of living arrangement. Growing up with respect for his mother taught him plenty, after all.
Soon, Hange bid him farewell, briefly mentioning something about exploring campus before disappearing, leaving Levi and allowing him some much-needed alone time.
Biochemistry and business. Could either of them be any more different? She seemed decent, and the excessive talking was something to get used to. Then again, she was only striking up a conversation with the person she’d be living in the same space with for a year. Hange wanted to be amicable—and so did Levi.
He sighed thoughtfully, leaning back on the couch with a groan.
Having an individual dorm room would have been wonderful. Getting used to the public bathrooms and showers would have been a hurdle, but Levi preferred it. Unfortunately, though, the price was astronomical, and sharing a single room didn’t sound fun.
This was his last resort. And all Levi could do was hope his new roommates would pull their weight.
_______________________________________________
Levi set the table, setting the silverware down neatly and arranging the flowers he’d bought for his mother. They sat in their pretty vase quite comfortably, bringing a splash of well needed color to the dining room.
By now, it was a few weeks into the first academic quarter. Levi found himself easily fitting into the new flow of things despite not yet finding work. (Maybe that should’ve been priority.) He finally met Moblit and was endlessly grateful for his behavior. He cleaned, he cooked, and overall was quite a pleasure to be around. And Hange? She was… unique.
Messy. Loud. Rambunctious. It made him wonder how Moblit, as quiet as he was, became friends with the hyperactive woman. Opposites attract, perhaps? Anyway, with a few reminders here and there, she pulled her weight in the apartment. Levi had only caught sight of her room once, and it was… decent, if not a little filthy. But he was not about to barge in there with cleaning supplies. As long as she didn’t track her filth into the rest of the apartment, he was fine with it.
This would be the first Sunday dinner he had with his mom since moving out. And while it was supposed to happen every week, his mother was swamped with work. So, since then, they haven’t had the time to truly sit down and discuss the current arrangements. And oh, how Levi knew his mother was bursting with questions.
The woman in question bustled around the kitchen, scooping out large portions of rice and slathering on top a large helping of delectable, saucy stir fry. She hummed, topping it off with scallions and carrying the two bowls to the modest dinner table.
“Smells good,” he noted aloud, sitting at the table as she carried over a teapot, safely setting it atop a placemat. “You outdid yourself, Mom.” Food cooked by his mother would always hold a special place in his heart. These days, he relies on his or Moblit’s cooking. And when no one was in the mood to whip something up: takeout. It was a comfortable arrangement, especially when everyone paid for their individual portion.
The only person who didn’t assist with cooking was Hange. In fact, as far as Levi knew, her culinary talents only went so far as to heat up a package of instant ramen. Sometimes, she’ll throw a boiled egg in there, but that was giving her too much credit. A grown woman should be able to cook—at the very least follow very basic instructions. Maybe a tad more advanced than ‘pour boiling water inside and wait one minute.’
At least she hasn’t started a fire yet.
Yet.
“Thank you, baby,” she smiled, taking her seat in front of Levi and taking up a fork. “I know you love it. I made it special—for you. And to commemorate the near-month of college. How exciting!”
“I could’ve helped,” he muttered, taking a bite and nearly melting at the familiar flavors; nostalgic and warm. Almost like an affectionate hug embracing Levi. It was a losing argument, of course. When his mother was set on something, that would be it. Never could he touch the kitchen when she prepared his meal. That was taboo. Intruding on a labor of love like that.
“That would defeat the purpose.” She leaned over, reaching for the teapot and wordlessly pouring steaming tea into both cups. “I enjoy doing this for you, Levi. All you need to focus on is your grades—how are they, by the way?”
Levi reached for his teacup, cradling it in his hands. His thumb caressed the pretty porcelain fauna engraved into the ceramic. “Just fine. In fact, I’ve found them to be extremely easy… but it’s only the first few weeks.”
His mother nodded, forking another bite of stir-fry into her mouth and daintily patting her lips with a napkin. “The Professors. Are they nice?”
“Sure..” A few he could tolerate, but no one particularly stood out. It was all rinse and repeat; no real passion behind the profession. They weren’t too enthusiastic when it came to the classes they taught, but nor were they drab.
Levi didn’t expect business to be anything but boring. Perhaps Hange was having a better experience with her classes. In his mind, studying science and biochemistry included a plethora of experiments. Beakers, test tubes, and a plethora of science instruments he couldn’t ever name.
“Oh, and your roommates! You haven’t told me their names. What are they like? Are they easy to live with?”
Levi tilted his head, fork sticking out of his mouth. “Right, I’ve forgotten. They’re decent people. I don’t see them very often—our classes are much, much different. They’re Moblit and Hange.”
His mother hummed in interest, delighted with her son’s satisfactory living conditions. “Good, very good. If they’re as good people as you say they are, I may have to invite them to dinner sometime!”
You’re a little over-enthusiastic, Levi thought to himself, stirring the medley of rice and stir-fry together with his fork. These people aren’t something to get excited about, not really. But his mother always had the habit of making assumptions and exaggerating the tiniest things.
“We’re hardly friends, mom,” he reminded, sipping. “Just… living together because it was an ideal arrangement.”
“You might as well be by the end of the semester,” she shrugged. “It’s beneficial to have a good relationship with these types of people. And college is good for making lifelong friendships. Give them a chance, baby. Otherwise, you’ll be admitting to becoming a recluse for the rest of your life.”
“Mom..” he sighed.
“I’m serious! It was a mistake not making friends when I was your age. It made my life very, very difficult. It makes you desperate and lonely.”
“Isabel and Furlan—”
“Isabel and Furlan are hours away,” she interrupted harshly, immediately shushing Levi. “You can call them anytime. But they cannot be there for you at the snap of your fingers.” His mother pointed her fork at him. “They need to be people you can rely on here and now, Levi. You cannot rely on them forever. This is your chance to build a good life and surround yourself by good people. I know it’s difficult for you, baby… but you must try. Not for me, but for you.”
Begrudgingly, his mother had a point. He couldn’t stay this way forever. Not when the opportunity was right there. Yes, he absolutely needed to break out of his shell, but something of that caliber would be easier said than done.
“I’ll try,” Levi promised, averting the skeptical gaze of his mother.
“Good. That’s all I want.”
The rest of the afternoon passed with easy conversation and lounging about. Levi hadn’t realized how much he missed existing so… simply. These past few months were filled to the brim with concerns over tuition, housing, and a plethora of financial and educational issues.
But sitting here at home managed to put his mind at rest—like a healing balm seeping the toxins of worry from his system. Truly refreshing, especially being in the company of his mother. (And out of the company of his uncle—who was likely drinking his pants off at the moment.)
Of course, it had to end.
Levi’s mother dropped a bag of sweet baked goodies into Levi’s hands, insisting he give it to his roommates, and ushered him toward the front door. She followed as far as the bus stop, gave him a kiss to the cheek, and said her goodbyes as he was off.
For the entirety of the ride, Levi pondered over his mother’s words and the shape of his future. Would it be easy? No. Never.
But was he willing to try?
…Sure.
_______________________________________________
“I think I know how to bag groceries, Hange,” Levi sighed, rubbing his temples as the plastic bag carousel rotated, bringing in fresh bags to fill. He dutifully scanned each item before arranging them on the carousel, leaving Hange to load the cart as the shopper dug through their wallet.
At first, Levi found it difficult to pin down any sort of work in the city, much less close to the college. Soon, he managed to settle on a local grocery shop. And while he didn’t enjoy the work, it was mind-numbing enough to keep him relatively detached throughout the day.
Relatively. Because lo and behold, Hange was his coworker.
If he didn’t think she was an exhausting person before, he certainly does now. And he tried to the best of his ability to split up from her, but they somehow always ended up in the same aisle. In fact, he was starting to believe that this was a cruel attempt at sabotage. But who would have it out for him? Perhaps she was doing it on purpose.
“You put the coffee grinds on top of the bananas.”
“It certainly isn’t the other way around,” he scoffed, adjusting his lime-green vest and wordlessly scanning one can after another.
“Yes, it is!”
The argument racketed back and forth, never quite ending, especially when another irksome topic was brought up. Everything he was doing was just wrong in her eyes. And to avoid her hissy fits, he began second-guessing himself, repeating the mantra: what would Hange do? When bagging something together.
A small part of him wanted to oh, so badly purposely piss her off. But he chose amicability, especially when he preferred not to make their working day an advanced form of hell.
And when lunch time came around, Levi sat on a bench outside, somehow simultaneously glaring at the sun and staring lethargically at his sandwich. He couldn’t summon the willpower to eat—not when he was already so hot and bothered. At the very least, the wind cooled him off, and the shade of the building protected him from the sun.
Already wiped from work and schooling. As the educational year was beginning to ramp up, so were the assignments. Life was just so… busy all of a sudden. And a part of Levi was afraid that he’d slip and vanish into the torrent of whatever his life was now.
The rickety bench creaked.
Hange sat about a foot to Levi’s left, a smile on her face. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Tired?”
“Extremely.”
“Aww, don’t worry. We’re a little over halfway through.”
Levi groaned, head dropping into his hands—the sandwich still in it’s paper bag beside him, abandoned. Hange merely chuckled and patted his back in a very friendly manner, digging around in her own lunch box for something of value.
“Uhh.. here, have this,” Hange offered, holding out to Levi a shiny red, delectable-looking apple. He eyed it for a moment before gingerly accepting, rotating the fruit around in his hands before taking a bite into the crispy flesh. Juicy. Very good.
“Hope you like it. I know it’s not much compared to your mother’s pastries, which were delicious by the way. But this is bound to get your energy up, especially if you’re not going to eat anything else.”
Levi muttered a thanks, nodding his head appreciatively as he gnawed away at the apple. Hange was right—the mere act of eating was already putting a well-needed rise in his mood. “It’s… good.”
“The produce that comes from here is exceptionally fresh. But it doesn’t taste the same, plucking it straight out of a tree.”
“You’ve done that?”
Hange nodded, leaning back and stretching. “As a kid I used to visit some family that had a huge property of purely orchards. Miles and miles of it. I spent a few summers there, helping out with the produce and the animals.”
A younger Levi could have only dreamt of such a lifestyle. If he ever had time to, living in such a cramped place with his mother. Because dreams were often useless in reality. An unobtainable, ideal future that would take nothing short of a miracle to come to fruition.
And, in a way, he thought that it suited Hange. Picking up after horses and plucking an endless supply of apples into a basket destined for the carts of everyday city people. In his head, farming was such an ideal and peaceful way of life. After all, if you managed to own so much land, what else could you afford? “Was it… fun?”
“Oh, yes, I’ve got plenty of memories. Perhaps that is what made me so interested in the world around me. I’m not sure when I stopped going for the summer. Or why. Maybe we just got busy is all.” Hazelnut eyes turned to Levi, looking earnestly into his. “Acclimatizing well?”
“Somewhat,” Levi replied honestly. “It’s a challenge.”
“Definitely. Moblit gets extremely homesick from time to time. I’m honestly not sure how he gets so many off days to visit. There must be something he’s not telling me.” She stretched, watching Levi tear another portion of apple up with his teeth. “Lunch is almost over—I’m gonna head inside. Cya, Levi.”
He watched as she rose from the bench and departed, a funny, warm feeling culminating in his chest.
After work, they chose to accompany each other on the bus back to the apartment. Levi, exhausted, spaced out to the sound of Hange’s constant talking, nearly nodding off and falling asleep on her shoulder. Fortunately, he evaded the temptation despite being incredibly sleepy-eyed. At least he was able to enjoy some well-deserved shuteye when he got home...
_______________________________________________
“What is this?” Levi held up an empty container of beer, a hand planted on his hip and staring at Hange like a disappointed mother. At her reluctance to speak, he clicked his tongue and tossed it into the trash can he dragged in.
Levi spent his Saturday with Hange, cleaning her room from top to bottom completely unbidden. And while it was partially because she needed good hygiene, Levi couldn’t stand merely knowing the pigsty her room had become. And because they shared the same home, it was unfortunately his problem too.
Cleaning was supposed to be a therapeutic practice. Tired? Wipe the windows. Sad? Dust the shelves. Need to destress? A cup of tea and mopping up the floors. Unlike other people, he didn’t consider it a chore that needed to begrudgingly be done. After all, a clean house contributes to an improved state of living.
For the past week, his free time would consist of hounding Hange into taking better care of herself. ‘Have you bathed? Oi, brush your teeth before you go to bed. Did you have lunch? Do you seriously need me to buy you something again?’ and so on. And when asked why his concern, he’d merely answer that he refused to live in a house with someone so unclean.
And now, one of the biggest hurdles was her room. And it was awful. Random stacks of books, blankets on the floor, clothes everywhere but the laundry bin.. in fact, he was seriously starting to doubt if her parents ever taught her how clean up after herself. Sure, she did the dishes and cleaned when asked, but somehow there was an inability to do anything for her own well-being.
“Calm down, at least we’re not in a dorm,” she scoffed, balling a shirt up and tossing it into the bin.
“But why are you drinking it in your room?”
“Can a girl not drink a beer in peace?”
“You drink enough on the weekends, Hange,” Levi chastised, crushing the can between his hands and tossing it into the brimming trash can. He glanced around at the nest of grass surrounding him whilst Hange worked on the pile of unclean clothes, sorting them into the clothes bin. “I can’t believe I’m doing this for you,” he sighed.
Hange perked up. “I appreciate it Levi, truly. I haven’t had the time, between studying and work.” She gestured toward the desk in the corner, every inch of available space taken up by papers, textbooks, and other academic items. In fact, Levi was beginning to feel somewhat sympathetic toward her.
“That’s why, every day, you do something small so it doesn’t make this large of a mess,” he advised. “For instance, picking up a shirt to put in the bin. Or collecting your cans and throwing them away. It’s not hard, Hange.”
“No, I guess not..” she sighed. “My attention just narrows when I get home. It’s hard to think about anything else.”
“If you need assistance again… chances are I’ll help you. But I won’t keep doing it if you repeatedly fail to keep in mind my advice, okay?” (A small part of him knew he’d give in with enough begging. But Hange didn’t need to know that.)
“Okay, fine, I’ll try.” She rubbed her hands together. “I just need to get through this quarter and I’ll be able to dedicate the rest of my time to myself once the break rolls around.”
“Do you have plans?” He’d already made the decision to go home for a few days and spend some much-needed quality time with his mother. There wasn’t much else to do. “Was Moblit going to see his family?”
Hange nodded, examining a shirt and ultimately choosing to toss it. “Yeah. They’re close like that.”
“And you?”
He received a shrug. “I’m not particularly close. Moved out pretty quickly when I could… they’re not the greatest people. Believed it would be better to spend my education and time doing absolutely anything else.”
“Not very supportive, huh?”
Hange laughed. “Nope. If anything, they wanted me out of the house for the longest time.” She set her hands in her lap. “I was ambitious. And for some reason or another they didn’t like that. I thought that if I didn’t have an environment that supported me, I’d go find a place where I was wanted.”
“And how has that worked out?”
“Extremely well. I’m certainly very happy. Hey, now that I think of it, why did you want to get that business degree?”
“Huh?”
“You know. What are you planning to do?”
Levi thought over her question as he rose, reaching for the vacuum and plugging it in. “I… I’d like to open up a tea shop.”
“Oh? That’s sweet,” she smiled. “Tea.. you’re quite fond of that stuff. Well then, Levi, I hope you achieve that dream of yours.”
He tilted his head, lips very briefly lifting into a little smile. “Yeah. Hopefully.”
_______________________________________________
“You’re drunk!”
“Am not,” Hange whined, leaning heavily against Levi as he walked her out of the bar. He scoffed to himself, setting one of her arms over his shoulder as he walked. It was a great struggle to not trip over her dragging feet, much less keep her from collapsing.
He scrunched his nose—Hange reeked of strong alcohol. The scent of intoxication was dizzying, his eyes blinking away tears as he yanked her limp body into the taxi and gave the man directions.
It reminded him an awful lot of Kenny—when his mother requested he drag the man back from the bar, lest he come home in the morning or get into a bar fight. And it was never a pleasant affair. His uncle would often be difficult, screaming curses at the other bar-goers, usually a few vulgar words from a brawl.
If anything, his mother was much, much better at bringing him home. Levi couldn’t understand why she stuck her neck out for him so often. Yes, he was family, but that didn’t mean it was obligation to do certain things.
But alas, she insisted they were always going to look out for each other. Levi wasn’t about to fight about it with his mother anyway, so he did what she wished.
During the short ride back home, Levi did all he could to keep the poor, disoriented Hange awake. She snickered often, muttering random things and making childish remarks about Levi. A part of him was extremely grateful for her drunken nature—woozy, compared to his Uncle’s aggressiveness.
When the arrived at the apartment it was extremely late. Seeing that Moblit was already in bed, he hoisted Hange onto the couch and thrust a mug of steaming tea in her face.
“Drink.”
“Whuh? I’m not thirsty.”
“Too bad. It’ll soothe your stomach and prevent you from choking on your own vomit in the night. Now drink,” he instructed with a sigh. When Hange failed to grasp the mug, Levi took the initiative and sat by her. He tipped the mug up against her lips, coaxing Hange to part them as he helped her drink.
“Hot,” she coughed, waving the mug away. Levi complied and held it on his lap until she was ready for another drink. Soon, he tipped it between her lips again, forcing Hange to drink until the tea was no more.
“How are you feeling?” Levi asked, reaching over to check her head. She seemed to have sobered up enough to speak coherently.
“Tired,” she complained with a groan. Levi wordlessly pushed her bangs from her forehead.
“Not going to vomit on me, are you?”
“No, no..” She shook her head.
“Great. Now get out of those clothes, you smell like the bar you came out of.” Levi rose from the couch, giving her a cautionary look before dropping the mug off in the kitchen sink and heading to Hange’s room to find her a fresh set of pajamas. She changed in the bathroom without help and was quickly guided back to the couch after cleaning up. It was far too late and would take too much effort to get her to shower—and Levi didn’t want her slipping and hitting her head in there.
“M’ I sleeping here...?” She slurred, eyeing the couch.
Levi pulled a pillow and several of her quilts from his shoulder and laid it down over the couch, gesturing toward it. “That’s right, so get comfortable. I’m not going to take my eyes off you in case something happens. The last thing you need is a trip to the hospital after choking in the night.”
“Fine, fine..” Hange sighed. She eyed him, frowning briefly before slipping into the blankets and lying down. Levi tucked her in and made sure she was lying on her side before dragging the armchair adjacent to the couch closer. He dimmed the lights, sat down, and pulled out his phone. Through the night, he checked on her breathing and, once satisfied, settled in to sleep.
But it was funny, because somewhere between his dreams, he could hear a ‘Thank you, Levi.’
***
Levi stood in front of the stove, attention split on several steaming pans at once. The scent of breakfast wafting throughout the apartment was tantalizing, and he hoped it was enough to rouse Hange from her feverish hangover. She still laid on the couch, surrounded by an arsenal of bottled water and Gatorade. Feeling pity for Hange, Levi chose to leave her alone once she woke up and check on her every so often.
Moblit already ate his share and, in his haste, bid farewell to the two of them before departing.
Soon, Levi plated Hange’s food and crossed through the kitchen. She sat upright, hunched over a bottle of Gatorade swinging from her fingertips. (He tried earlier to supply her with water, but she insisted Gatorade was the best solution. So, they met in the middle. But it was clear she was extremely biased toward her preferred drink.)
“I’ve made breakfast,” he announced, sitting down beside her.
Hange peered through her mussed-up hair at Levi, blinking slowly. She combed a few fingers through the mess, pushing her bangs far back enough to look at Levi clearly. Her deep hazelnut eyes were cloudy, peering at him with very few thoughts circulating behind them. It looked rough. And if she didn’t look starved, he would’ve left her alone.
“Here, can you hold it?” Levi offered the plate.
“Uhh.. yeah, yes.” She coughed, words a bit gummy in her mouth. She reached for the plate and set it on her lap, sighing once the scent of tasty food hit her nose. “This looks good,” Hange muttered, tipping the bottle into her mouth. Levi silently took it and replaced it with a crisp bottle of water instead.
Making a quiet disgruntled sound, she uncapped the bottle and took a nice, long drink from it. “Uggh, my head.”
“Those pills should kick in soon. But for now, I need you to eat and fill that empty stomach.”
“Right..” Hange took up the fork and began shoveling food into her mouth at an alarming pace. Levi reminded her to slow down as he cleaned a bit of syrup from her mouth with a napkin. She muttered something appreciative between bites of food, humming happily in response to the sustenance.
She proceeded in silence, continuously complimenting the food until she scraped the plate clean. At that point, Levi was testing his next words around in his mouth, considering how to go about chastising her. It shouldn’t be his place to—but considering the fact that he had to drag her back home, it was pretty well-founded.
“I didn’t think you’d be out so late. One in the morning, Hange, seriously?”
“What’s so wrong with that?”
Levi blinked, frowning at her nonchalance. What’s so wrong? Are you serious? “That’s extremely late. Especially while being so intoxicated. Moblit wasn’t with you, and if I had arrived any later something could’ve happened to you.”
“Relax, Levi. I was with friends.”
“They’re clearly not your friends if they left you alone like that.”
“I don’t get that drunk, not frequently. Oh, don’t think so lowly of me. I would’ve been just fine.”
“I had to ask every bar in town if you were there. It took me too long to find you.”
“Again, just fine,” she waved off. “God forbid I want to celebrate getting past my exams.”
“That’s not the problem. It’s how you go about it. Hell, Hange, why do you drink so much if you’ll only be miserable the next day? What’s the point?”
“It’s fun. These are just some… unwanted side effects. What’s gotten into you, caring so much?” She chuckled.
Right. Why did Levi care? He couldn’t pinpoint why, exactly, he was looking out for her. Sure, it was what most anyone would do, but he shouldn’t have to be so concerned. And it wasn’t just because they were roommates. Nor was it because she was paying a third of the rent.
“Celebrate. Do what you want. But take me with you next time or pay attention to how much you’re drinking. Find someone you trust and stick with them, you hear me? God forbid someone puts something in your drink, or takes adva-“
Hange set a hand on his wrist, squeezing it tightly.
“If you think that’s the best decision, then I’ll heed you. But don’t get so wound up, Levi!”
He eyed her, then sighed. “Be careful.”
“I will. I promise.”
_______________________________________________
The months passed by smoothly. Levi, managing to fall into the flow of things, finally managed to balance most of the aspects of his life—family, college, and work and with a little time between those things to spare for himself. He and his roommates found a routine that benefited the three of them, so there was little room for dispute.
Hange, fortunately, heeded Levi’s advice. And while he didn’t enjoy being surrounded by the scent of intoxication and booze, he told himself it was for Hange’s safety and wellbeing. He’d even prevented her from becoming blackout drunk a numerous amount of times, and that was a feat he prided himself in.
There was even an occasion on which the three of them travelled to his mother’s house for dinner. Kuchel was ecstatic, cooking up the best dishes she knew of and chatting up plenty of conversation to fill the silence. She and Hange got along just fine, if not disturbingly well. Levi’s mother wanted every detail of what living with her little Levi was like, hardly bothering to have his embarrassment in mind.
Hange thought it was sweet. Moblit thought it was endearing. And Levi only ever wanted to sink into a puddle each time she brought up something touchy from the past. (How starved was she for meaningful socialization, seriously?) Though, it could have been much worse if his uncle was present that day. A part of him figured his mother had essentially grounded the man and threatened him into staying quiet.
But life was good. Currently, Levi busied himself with the various chores around the house. Moblit was currently out visiting family, and Hange was getting ready to go.. somewhere. He hadn’t asked yet. Usually, she’d give him a heads-up hours in advance for him tag along, but this was a little different.
He dried a plate, eyeing Hange as she pulled her boots on. Levi leaned subtly over the counter, giving her an incredulous look. “And where are you going?” Motherly, perhaps, but Hange was often entertained by his ‘nagging.’ And since finding out she didn’t mind, Levi became comfortable with it.
“A party~” she singsonged happily, falling back on her bum as she zipped the shoes up.
“Let me get dressed, then.” Levi set down the plate and began to step out of the kitchen.
“Levi, wait,” she shook her head. “You’re not coming. Well, you don’t have to, but I think I’d rather go on my own.”
“And why is that?” He set his hands on his hips, giving her a look.
“It’s nothing you’d enjoy, really. You’d be uncomfortable, and there’s hardly anyone you know,” she explained earnestly.
“Worse than a bar?”
“Kind of. Yeah.”
“Will there be alcohol?”
“Well, obviously. Not quite a party without.”
Levi sighed. He approached and crouched by Hange, adjusting her scarf for the cold, cold weather outside. “Can I trust you to keep a handle on yourself? And can you trust your friends to keep an eye on you? You might do something you’ll regret or get into a bad situation.”
“Hey,” she smiled, tucking some hair behind her ear. Levi ignored the sensation of his warm chest. “I’ll be okay. If I need you, then your number will be the first person I call. I’m with friends, they’re good people, and I’ll be extra sure to keep myself sober, yeah?” She spoke softly, like consoling a child. And it was working.
Levi stared into her eyes, his own gaze softening the slightest bit at her earnest expression. With a groan, he ruffled her hair and stood up. “Alright, then. But come back around eleven, okay? I’ll be waiting for you, Hange.”
She smiled, straightening and grabbing her bag. “I’ll only be a few buildings away. Cya, Levi.”
And with that she was gone, stepping out into the chilly night and leaving Levi to occupy the apartment alone. He found himself staring at the door for much longer than normal, a sort of longing culminating in his chest. Yes, he trusted Hange, but he was still.. concerned.
He sighed and pivoted, searching for something to ease his anxiety. Levi just continued on cleaning, almost obsessively as he attacked every grimy corner and hard-to-reach crevice of the apartment.
But his nervousness only mounted as the hours passed. Paranoia? Maybe. But not even a soothing cup of tea could cure him of his restlessness. He was even tempted to shoot Hange a text, yet he didn’t want to intrude on her. Hell, she was likely having the best time of her life and receiving a pushy message could very well ruin it for her.
So, he poured himself another cup and bided the hours.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve. An hour past midnight and Levi was truly becoming worried. His fingers began inching towards his phone for the third time, searching out her number and calling once again. This time it wasn’t naggy mother behavior because she had agreed to get home by a certain time. And two hours later was unacceptable.
But something truly felt wrong. Particularly the fact that she wasn’t responding to his texts.
So, he began to pace. A few buildings away? Do I know anyone who would be there? God, if only I had insisted I come with her.
Eventually he became tired of waiting. And just as he ripped his coat from the hangar, three consecutive knocks sounded at the door.
Levi stiffened, then ran toward the entrance without hesitation. He swung the door open only to find an exhausted Hange hunched over, body wracked with chills from the cold weather and the lack of any warm apparel. Her coat and scarf were gone, leaving her shivering in clothes much too thin.
“Hange!”
Her quivering, freezing lips pursed.
“I didn’t.. know where else to go.”
Hange careened forward just in time for Levi to catch her limp body. Suppressing his absurd number of questions, he dragged her inside and shut the door, feeling around her face for any possible abrasions.
Has she hit her head? Is she feeling ill? Where’s her coat? Her scarf? Why is her makeup so smudged? Why did she show up so late?
Allowing Hange’s knees to gently collide with the floor, Levi lowered right along side her and cupped either side of her head in his hands. He bit back an invasive question and instead asked, ever so gently… “Are you okay?”
Hange blinked softly, her eyes cloudy and unfocused, staring straight past him. She seemed intoxicated to some degree, but there was an uneasiness that made Levi feel as if there was something else inflicting her. He moved to examine her further, but she clutched at his wrists and swallowed thickly, face becoming pale. “..bathroom.”
“Eh?”
She rose shakily, promptly kicking off her boots and stumbling toward the bathroom. Levi scrambled to keep up with Hange, supporting her every step of the way by an arm. Seeing that her hair was untied, he courteously held it back as she crouched over the clean, porcelain toilet bowl and vomited a slurry of drink and food. It invited a foul, repulsive stench of alcohol and something sour, nearly causing Levi to gag. He resisted cringing at the once clean toilet seat, now filthy with acidic stomach content.
“Hange..” he sighed, pulling her bangs from her sticky forehead as she leaned over once again with a hrk. Continuously, she emptied the toxic contents of her stomach until nothing but bile came out. Levi did her the favor of patting at her lips with a paper towel once he knew for certain that she was finished. “Are you.. fine?”
Hange wheezed in response, rubbing away the tears that had formed around her eyes. An exhausted moan forced its way from between her lips, pathetic and sickly. She shut her eyes and leaned against Levi, eliciting a surprised grunt from him.
Still, he wasn’t so heartless as to push her away. She clearly needed the comfort. So, he flushed the toilet and began brushing his hands through her hair to provide some semblance of comfort. Granted, her scalp was sticky and cold, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind when it was for her sake.
But they couldn’t sit here forever.
Levi made an obvious move, implying that he was about to get up and so should she. But Hange clung onto his shirt like a lifeline, not allowing him to leave her clutches quite yet. So, he sighed and, with nothing else better to do, leaned against the bathtub. “You have to tell me what’s going on sometime, Four-eyes..” he urged.
“I just..” she groaned, eyes fluttering shut. Her hands rose to massage her temples. “I didn’t have a lot.. to drink. But I just started getting so..” she groaned. “Woozy.”
“And you didn’t care to tell anyone?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “Friends brushed it off. Said it was jus’ the alcohol..”
“Some friends you have..” Levi scoffed, legs on either side of her freezing body. He did his best to warm her up, hands moving up and down her arms and back.
“I can’t remember what happened, Levi. One second I was just... sitting on the couch and then there was a bed and I..” her fingers began pulling at her hair, almost in an attempt to pull the memories out. Carefully, Levi unlaced her hands from the strands, massaging her palms.
His heart dropped with every word she uttered, a strange sensation of anger welling up within him with every stutter and hitch of breath. He considered his words carefully, trying to bring comfort to Hange while juggling with what her experience meant. “Were you..?”
Quickly, she shook her head. “No, nothing of that sort.. but I was frightened, Levi.” Her voice hitched, suddenly small and oh so scared. “I was harassed. I felt exposed. Several times I tried to leave but they wouldn’t let me. At some point or another I managed to grab my things and leave, didn’t even find a cab..” she shuddered, rubbing tears out of her eyes. “I just wanted to get home..”
“Hey..” he soothed, holding her head close to his chest as he massaged her scalp. “You’re here now. You’re safe, Hange.” This wasn’t the time to criticize her. It was truly traumatizing—and she couldn’t have known what was in that drink. In fact, he was proud of her decision to escape that sort of situation. After all, it could have been so much worse.
Levi held her close, even when Hange began to shudder and sob, wetting his shirt with her salty tears. But he encouraged her to cry, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering sweet, kind words in her ear. A part of him was surprised he was capable of such of thing, but he supposed it had to do with the way Hange had influenced him over the months.
Caring felt.. wonderful, actually. Just the mere idea of being able to help her work through her situation was rewarding enough. Because it would help her feel better sooner.
Levi patiently waited for Hange’s crying to subside before gently guiding her out of the bathroom and to the living room couch. With her permission, he removed her socks and sought out new pajamas from her bathroom.
Hange, throughout the ideal, was silent. She was indeed shaken up, and Levi respected her decision to quietly stir over the events of that night. All he required her to do was drink a bit of tea and eat something to fill her empty stomach—some bread and butter worked out just fine.
Just as he did so many nights ago, Levi set up a nest of blankets just for her on the couch, tucking Hange in so well that she looked as snug as possible. He thoroughly examined her comfort, taking every little subtle complaint into deep scrutiny until Hange felt content enough.
“There..” Levi whispered, dimming the lights and approaching the couch. He didn’t mind the sensation of her lingering gaze on him as he took his seat by her on the floor. “If you need anything then ask, Hange.”
She shifted, an arm sneaking beneath the blanket to take hold of his shoulder. Levi blinked, glancing up and taking her hand in his. “Will you be okay enough to sleep?”
He was met with a slow, content nod. “I will.”
“Good. Just.. try to rest, and we can smooth this out in the morning, alright?” He reassuringly patted her hand. “I’ll keep you safe, Hange. I promise.”
Her lips upturned into the faintest smile, leaving Levi to somehow feel warmth all over.
“Thank you.. Levi,” she coughed, hazelnut eyes looking to him with such deep affection.
The warmth spread to his cheeks. It was a wonderful sensation—one he wanted to cling onto forever.
“Anytime, Hange.”