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Sonic doesn’t like watching action movies.
This sucks because Sonic loves action movies. There’s so much to love, after all. The enticing premise, the high stakes, the explosions, the suspense—all of it is right up Sonic’s alley. No matter what the context is, he will always love watching the action heroes fight single-handedly against wave after wave of nameless goons while spouting badass one-liners. When he noticed Maddie and Tom had an action movie on the television before he started staying with him, excitement would fill him up so much that he would nearly buzz. Action movies are Sonic’s favorite genre of film, and it’s no contest.
But there is one part about action movies that has never been his favorite. It was, obviously, the romance elements. He didn’t understand why they were taking a break from all the bloody violence and threat-for-threat interactions between the hero and villain to watch the male lead flirt. Sonic would roll his eyes every time the hero paused his assault on the enemy to wink at random lady #4, but his impatience truly flared when the female lead was involved. It seemed so unnecessary to him at the time.
And it still feels that way, but… something is different now. He doesn’t just wish for it to be over when it starts; he doesn’t want it in his movies at all. He feels the heavy pangs of genuine anger and perhaps even resentment when he watches the screen. Sonic has no idea why. It’s just a movie. It’s just a few minutes of two characters exchanging thinly veiled innuendos before eating each other’s faces. Maybe there will be a cut-to-black/morning after scene, and those annoy him the most because Sonic would think that the plot was too harrowing and important for these shenanigans (and it would make Tom and Maddie give the kiddos yet another lecture).
Sonic tried gauging if the others thought the same way as him. Knuckles and Tails both shared in his sentiments about it being unnecessary and uncomfortable, but Sonic still felt like the three of them weren’t fully on the same page. Sonic thought Amy understood what he meant. He thought they were finally going to understand each other. They didn’t—not quite, anyway. Amy was just upset about the female lead always being shoved aside by the narrative, talked about as being stronger than the movie let her be. Sonic felt bad that he hadn’t even thought about that, so he immediately agreed with Amy and put the matter to rest.
But it springs right back into his mind as he stares at the credits rolling across the screen. This action movie ended with a kiss and an explosion. One was clearly more awesome than the other one, but he isn’t thinking about that part. He’s thinking about why it needed to end with a kiss between those two characters. The entire movie, the male lead was going on and on about how he needed to save his friend from brainwashing. Almost all of this dialogue was about that. He didn’t say anything about the female lead. He didn’t show any concern for her, only his friend.
And when the hero and friend reunited, well… Sonic honestly thought it was the beginning of a kissing scene. It had all the usual signs—the lower lighting, the change in music, the hurrying towards each other but stopping a few feet apart just to stare. Everything was right there. And then the hero said something that should have been awesome but just came off as… stupid to Sonic. He spent an entire movie obsessing over his friend, so why would it have been funny for him to mention that he only noticed his friend was gone because it was quieter? The friend laughed. They both did. There was no kiss or hug or even a fist-bump. There was no contact, and Sonic would dare say there wasn’t even a proper reunion. They split ways, working together to take down the villain and make an opportunity where the male lead can kiss the only other female in the movie with a name (and no personality, like Amy would say if she were here).
Sonic wasn’t paying that much attention, though. It’s so dumb, but he feels betrayed, in a way. This causes a plethora of other emotions to bubble to the surface in his chest. Beneath his frustration and a strange thing similar to sadness, Sonic almost feels disgusted with himself. Why would he think the two friends were going to kiss in the end? That doesn’t make any sense. It was literally the textbook definition of an action movie, so of course, the male lead was going to end up with the female lead. Of course the male lead wasn’t going to admit that he missed his friend and wished he’d been able to save him and did everything in his power to bring his friend home even at the cost of his own life.
Of course.
“Sonic?”
The azure hedgehog blinks. The credits have stopped rolling. Someone has turned the television off. Sonic sees himself in the screen’s reflection. He also sees Tails leaning into him, staring at the side of his face. Sonic turns his head immediately, locking eyes with the kit. Tails is confused, perhaps even a little concerned. The latter certainly carries in his voice when he says, “Is something wrong?”
“What? No! Of course not! I was just thinking about that movie! What a movie it was, huh?” Sonic says, trying to hide how flustered he is as if Tails were able to peer into his thoughts. Then again, being flustered is better than whatever else his heart is trying to make him feel about a 90 minute motion picture (which, no shame to people who cry at tragedies and laugh at comedies. Sonic just thinks that the whirlwind of emotions in his chest is not the appropriate response to an action movie).
“Ah. Were you imagining you and the pink hedgehog in the place of the characters?” Knuckles intrudes upon the conversation. Tails turns around to tell Knuckles something. Sonic almost does, but he lets himself think about it. When he watches action movies, he often imagines himself as the hero. He’s never really imagined the other characters as anyone, though. But this movie in particular makes it easy. The action hero has two teammates who resemble Tails and Knuckles, and he has parents that called maybe twice in the movie. So, then, Amy would obviously be the female lead. That’s just how it works, right?
But Amy wouldn’t have been the female lead in this movie. The Amy Sonic knows wouldn’t let herself get captured so easily. If she somehow was captured, she would obviously help the action hero (Sonic, in this hypothetical) fight the goons after she was freed. Sonic guesses he can ignore all of that for the sake of the argument, though. Amy is the female lead, and he’ll kiss her at the end of the movie like everyone in his life wants him to.
Who is the hero’s friend, though? Who’s the person this entire movie is arguably about? Well, Sonic thinks, that would obviously be Shadow… except it really is a silly thought. Sure, Sonic really wanted to save Shadow when he learned the other was still alive, and sure, he did make some possibly self-sacrificial decisions to make that come true, but… Well, he didn’t say something as stupid as ‘I only knew you were gone because it was quieter’! What he said was more embarrassing, but it was also more heartfelt, so Sonic thinks that he’s the winner between him and the protagonist.
If, however, Sonic continues with this thought experiment, slots Amy into the female lead and Shadow into the friend’s role even when they both hardly make sense, what does that leave Sonic with? It means that he kisses Amy, which, again, is something everyone wants him to do. It means that Sonic had a moment where he could have kissed Shadow, and—
Sonic’s entire face floods with heat, enough to force a breathy exhale from him. What is he thinking about right? That’s never going to happen. Sonic doesn’t even want it to happen… right?
“Ha! The hedgehog is thinking about his lover!” Sonic’s entire body flinches. He whirls around to look at Knuckles. The words about Shadow not being his lover sit right on the tip of his tongue. He doesn’t end up saying it as Knuckles’ laughter booms throughout the household. “I will be telling the pink hedgehog this!”
Oh. Right. Sonic would be blushing over Amy. She’s the one he kisses, after all. In the hypothetical, he means, but also in real life if he would get over himself and just give her—and everyone else—what is expected of him. Who in their right mind would think that Sonic was getting flustered at the thought of kissing Shadow?
Knuckles turns away. He goes elsewhere in the house to do who knows what. Tails remains at Sonic’s side. The kit’s expression has bled entirely from confusion to concern. Sonic smiles at the kit. He reaches a paw up to brush across the top of Tails’ head, momentarily breaking the eye contact between them. “I should… get him to not do that. I’ll see you at bedtime, yeah?”
Sonic doesn’t wait for a response. He uses the excuse he gave Tails to justify why he hurries out of the living room, but he doesn’t follow Knuckles. He instead goes to the backdoor. As he’s pulling on his shoes, Tom approaches him from the kitchen. “What’re you doing, bud?”
“Need to run for a bit. You know how it is: action movies always energize me. Just trying to get it all out before it’s time for bed,” Sonic lies. Or does he? It’s almost the truth. The action movie did energize him, just with more emotions than adrenaline or inspiration.
“I do know how it is. Just don’t go sneaking off to see Amy, m’kay?” Tom says with a cheeky smile on his face.
Shut up, Sonic swallows the words. He doesn’t even know where they came from. He would never be so rude to Tom—to anyone, even. He’s just a bit… bothered, he supposes, by all of this. It feels like he can’t do anything anymore without it looping back to Amy or their (nonexistant) relationship. Sonic tried in the beginning to tell the others that he didn’t have a crush on her, but they didn’t listen, not really. They laughed it off, implying that he was only saying that because he was embarrassed. Sonic has stopped trying to stop them. Now, he’s trying to make their words true.
“Got it,” Sonic responds. Even the smile on his face can’t hide how somberly his voice is. Sonic hurries to open the door. He does so in time to step outside right as Tom’s brows twitch, noticing something is upsetting his son. Sonic thinks he slammed the door behind him accidentally, but he’s already in the forest with a blue streak following him as intimately as a shadow does. Tom isn’t able to stop him; no one is.
And this, Sonic knows, is right. He feels like he belongs when he runs. The electricity in his veins, the wind through his quills, the pounding in his chest—it all combines to make him whole. In that, he finds a sense of completeness. All the pieces of himself that have been chipped away by grief and recent battles and all those one-note jokes are replaced by the thrill Sonic gets when he merges his body with sound itself. The freezing cold air in his lungs and the burn of his muscles pulsate wildly at opposite extremes. His mind clears away, only accounting for the environment around him to keep Sonic from falling.
He doesn’t go far. Literally, not just in speedster-style. He only climbs the tip of the mountain. A few of Knuckles’ work-out materials are strewn about. Sonic ignores all except for a tire that he sits on the edge of. Sonic lifts his eyes toward the sky. Stars and a broken moon. What a lovely sight to see, especially with all the associated negative memories replaying in his mind. Sonic sighs, but he doesn’t look away.
Because these emotions make sense. He hates that he was so weak. He regrets being unable to save Shadow. He’s disgusted with how he let the temptation for revenge and power consume him. He has emotions, and he’s worked very hard to figure out where they originate from. He knows how to make himself feel better, too, and that also took a while to do.
Sonic is going to have to do the same thing about an action movie. Well, maybe not. Maybe the movie was just another example. These feelings, after all, aren’t exactly new. He’s felt them before. At least, he thinks he has. Sonic has just never given himself the time to analyze them. It is only through the intervention of the people around Sonic that he’s finally started to acknowledge that maybe he should let himself experience all his emotions instead of exiling the ones he deems are silly, or embarrassing, or unnecessary, or any other word he wants to use.
So, Sonic sits with himself. He thinks about it. He turns over all the examples he can conjure. The action movies—not just tonight’s—come to mind first. He has never liked the romance, but this new dislike for it came about after Amy’s appearance in his life. He thought with how much she loves love that he would gain a new appreciation for the romance, but he hasn’t. Is it strictly because it’s unnecessary and uncomfortable? Is it because the female leads are rarely well-written? Or are those answers he’s taken from Tails, Knuckles, and Amy because they are more comprehensible than whatever he’s got going on inside his head?
Was it really Amy’s introduction to his life that gave him a new opinion, or was it something else that shifted with her appearance? How about the way that his family treats him? That’s…
“Sonic.”
He doesn’t have enough energy to flinch, but Sonic is surprised to hear Shadow’s voice. He glances over his shoulder at the ebony hedgehog. Even after all this time, a part of him is relieved to see Shadow alive. Still, he’s dealing with another problem right now, so he just nods at his rival, “Hey.” Sonic turns away back to the sky.
Shadow could take the opportunity to leave, but he doesn’t. Sonic knows this because Shadow decides to sit on the tire right beside him. Sonic glances at Shadow. The ebony hedgehog stares up at the broken moon. Sonic supposes it’ll be one of those nights. Jokes on Shadow, though, Sonic is dealing with a different series of emotions that keep him awake at night, not everything that happened in space.
While Shadow broods (or whatever he’s doing), Sonic goes back to his thinking. The minutes tick by silently. Sonic tilts his head and body around, searching for the angle that will suddenly make everything make sense. Shadow shoves him away when Sonic bumps into him, but for the most part, they leave each other alone. This is until Sonic has an epiphany. It hits him hard and fast, forcing him to jump onto his feet. He claps his paws together, declaring his eureka moment for the whole mountainside to hear. “That’s it! I don’t like Amy!”
Sonic’s excitement at figuring it out is quickly doused by Shadow’s voice cutting through the moment, “...what?”
Sonic whirls around to face Shadow. Meeting those carmine irises is a terrible decision because it puts everything into perspective for Sonic. He doesn’t like Amy. That’s been it the entire time. He’s known that, but putting it into simple terms—saying it aloud—carries a heaviness that he wasn’t prepared for. He especially doesn’t like the way Shadow is staring at him now. Sonic can already see the sparks of anger now since Amy is also Shadow’s friend (maybe sister? They’re both staying with Stone which means siblings in Sonic’s book but might not to them).
“No, no, no,” Sonic repeats, waving his paws in front of him before Shadow can start a fight. “You misunderstand. I like Amy. She’s my friend. But I don’t like Amy, you know?” Though he says this for Shadow’s benefit, Sonic doesn’t wait for Shadow’s response. He doesn’t even look at his face for an approximation. Sonic, instead, grabs the back of his neck and swings his leg around to face in a different direction. “Why don’t I, though? I like Amy. She makes me laugh. She’s really strong. I admire and respect her a lot. I know that I want her in my life for the rest of forever. But I just… I don’t want to kiss her. I don’t want to call her my ‘girlfriend’ or ‘lover,’ as Knux puts it. I don’t get butterflies in my stomach or get nervous when I see her. Everyone says that I am. So, seriously, why don’t I? She’s a hedgehog, I’m a hedgehog, the chemistry should be right there.”
Sonic turns back to Shadow. The ebony hedgehog’s ears are pinned to the top of his head. His expression is tight, not giving away anything. His eyes, however, are echoing with emotions that Sonic didn’t get to see the beginnings of. He also remains silent, leading Sonic to continue talking, “At the end of the movie, the action hero always gets with the girl. He calls her some nickname because he can’t remember her name and then he kisses her. If we’re lucky, explosions happen in the background. That’s how it goes. And I’m an action hero. I’m a hero, and I do action! I fight bad guys. I do cool stunts. I’m the action hero I’ve always wanted to be, so why can’t I just forget Amy’s name and kiss her like I don’t even care that there are explosions happening all around us?”
Shadow looks lost. Objectively, he’s probably just confused about the question itself. Sonic’s heart twists all the same because what if that’s not it? What if Shadow is lost because he, too, doesn’t know why Sonic can’t be normal? And that thought causes Sonic’s entire body to deflate. He searches Shadow’s expression for every single minute change as he whispers, “Is something wrong with me?”
“No,” Shadow says rather quickly. Sonic’s doubt shows on his face, and he knows this because Shadow reacts to it. He rises to his feet, stepping toward Sonic. Sternly, Shadow tells him. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“You tell me there’s something wrong with me all the time,” Sonic arches a brow.
“I didn’t—” Shadow crosses his arms over his chest, looking away to hide his expression. Sonic steps around Shadow to follow those carmine eyes. Shadow closes them, and that doesn’t help his case in the way he probably wants it to. Before Sonic can tell him or—and let’s be honest—laugh about it, Shadow continues. “You don’t like Amy. That’s fine. No one says you have to like her.”
“Uh, that’s not true. Like, at all. Everyone is saying that. My whole family. Stone. Amy. You, sometimes. You’re all always telling me that I should,” Sonic argues. He crosses his arms over his chest. Realizing that he’s mimicking Shadow, he turns away from the ebony hedgehog to hide where his arms are. Sonic continues, “It feels so… Am I allowed to call it ‘annoying’?”
“Why wouldn’t you be allowed to call it ‘annoying’?” Shadow questions, obviously choosing now to open his eyes and look back at Sonic.
“Because that’s mean. They’re my family. They love me and they care about me. It’s just a stupid joke,” Sonic retorts.
“It’s not stupid if it makes you feel like this.”
“The way I feel is stupid, too!” Sonic exclaims. He throws his arms out for emphasis, letting his paws fall back to his hips. He pitches forward to glare directly into Shadow’s eyes. He’s challenging Shadow.
And that challenge is answered. “No feelings are stupid.”
“You sound like Amy,” Sonic murmurs, nearly rolling his eyes.
He’s glad he didn’t because he gets to see the exact moment when Shadow’s eyes tighten, the red glowing brighter. Shadow steps forward, “I sound like—” Shadow pushes his fingers into Sonic’s chest with just enough force to make him take a half-step back. “—you.”
“Oh, I do encourage your feelings, don’t I?” Sonic murmurs sheepishly. Shadow ‘tch’s’ and turns away from Sonic. The azure hedgehog puts his paws up innocently. “Hey, you’d probably be calling them stupid, too, if you were feeling them. I just…” Sonic exhales heavily, eyes naturally snapping back to the sky. “...I’m tired of being bothered by it. I’m tired of feeling like I have to like her and being reminded so often that I don’t.”
“Have you talked to your family about this?” Shadow arches a brow.
“Yes!” Sonic declares, quills flaring up in defense of himself. After a long moment of Shadow’s uncompromising stare, Sonic’s quills flatten once more. “Okay, I have, actually. But I could try again. I could make it clear that I’m being serious. Ugh, but isn’t it kind of cowardly? Like I said, it’s just jokes. Some are funny, too.”
“Jokes or not, they make you uncomfortable.” Shadow always has a way of making everything so plain and simple. It contributes to his dry sense of humor. It also makes having emotionally charged conversations like this one… easier. Or maybe everything with Shadow is easier.
Sonic doesn’t want to think too much about that, so he’s going to move on. “You’re right. What’s the worst that can happen? They’re my family. They might not understand, but, well, they’ve accommodated harder.”
Shadow considers Sonic’s words. Resignation moves onto his features as he nods his head. Sonic decides not to question the acceptance. He grins widely at Shadow instead. “Thanks for the help! I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“You do that,” Shadow shrugs.
“Any emotional baggage you need to get off your chest, or am I good to head back?”
“Nothing.”
Sonic leans into Shadow’s personal space, getting a better look into Shadow’s eyes. “Are you sure~?”
“Yes.” Shadow shoves Sonic’s head away from him. The azure hedgehog stumbles to the side, ending up around and slightly behind Shadow. He does, however, avoid tripping over the tire. “Go home, Sonic.”
“I will! Thanks again for the help! I’ll see you tomorrow!”
And like that, Sonic runs from the mountaintop to the Wachowski’s house, feeling a little lighter with his revelation and the confidence to tell his family about how their jokes make him feel.