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When Jim woke up back at the beginning of it all, on that fateful day that had changed everything for him the first time around, the joy and relief at his plan working had almost overwhelmed him.
He jumped out of bed immediately and ran out into the hallway, sneaking a quick peek into his mother’s room, where he found her sound asleep.
Her glasses were askew, but still on her face. He had woken up two hours later this time, which meant that he only had time to give her a quick kiss to the temple and place her glasses on the nightstand next to the bed before he had to rush down the stairs and into the garage, where he knew Toby would arrive shortly.
When the gate opened, revealing the knocked-over trash can but no Toby, Jim felt a small burst of panic well up in him. It was already almost five minutes past eight; he should be here already, shouldn’t he?
The rational part of him knew that there was no reason for time traveling to work differently with the Krohnisfere than it did the other times he had done it, and that he had probably just gotten here a few moments earlier than he thought. Though that didn’t stop the image of Toby lying amongst the rubble of the titan from flashing through his mind as he began cleaning the driveway. He remembered the way his friend’s face slackened, hand going limp in his. Jim had to blink back tears that were threatening to well up in his eyes again, as he heard a familiar chime behind him.
He immediately stopped picking up the trash still littering his driveway and practically launched himself at his best friend, now alive and well again. Toby, for his part, seemed to be content with indulging Jim’s sudden bout of affection, hugging him back tightly, but let out a small yelp as they both fell back onto the sun-warmed ground.
“You seem really happy to see me. Are you doing okay, Jim?”
“It sure feels good to be back.”
“Um…okay.”
They lay there for a few moments, looking up at the bright blue sky. Jim let his previous fears about the reset not working properly slip away as he heard the boy chuckle quietly next to him. Toby was here, he was fine, and whatever the future might have in store for them later, at least here and now, Toby was safe.
Both boys suddenly sat upright when they heard the dreaded sound of Arcadia Oak’s bell in the distance. They both rushed to their bikes and started pedaling as fast as they could toward the High School.
When Toby suggested they take the canals, Jim had them use the longer route instead. He had hatched a plan in the brief time he had between activating the Krohnisfere and getting to the garage. Jim was sure of something.
He was the Trollhunter.
And he would always be a Trollhunter, but he had come to the decision that it was time for someone different to wield daylight this time around. And Jim knew exactly who he wanted it to be.
He knew that Toby would do a good job at carrying the mantle; he had seen what he was capable of in the original timeline, and with Jim’s guidance and knowledge of future events, he was convinced they could create a better outcome for all their friends and allies.
The final bell rang as they were still ways away from reaching their destination, and Jim thought to himself that he might need to make more of an effort at being a good student if he planned on finishing High School this time.
Luckily for Jim and Toby, Miss Janeth had not given them detention for being late to first period. Though it had felt like she picked them to write out their answers on the board a bit more often than usual. Jim had tried his hardest not to stare at the back of Claire’s head for the rest of the class, with middling success, and by the time the bell rang to release them into a brief break before second period, Jim had once again been reminded of how much of a drag school was.
As he stepped through the door into history class, Jim couldn’t help but briefly stop in his tracks at the sight of his former-now-again-current history teacher.
Mr. Strickler was sitting at his desk, eyes glued to a piece of paper before him, red pen in hand. He had just circled a written passage and was writing a comment in the margin when the last of the students made their way into the classroom.
Memories of cold, biting wind in his face flooded his mind. Pain in his ribs, the freezing snow under his fingertips, the big, lumbering titan in the distance, him desperately calling out for-
He flinched slightly as the door clicked shut next to him. Tearing his eyes away from his teacher, Jim quickly walked over to his desk and sat down, passing Claire on his way over.
Class started as usual, but Jim was finding it hard to concentrate. He watched as the Changeling got up to stroll around the classroom, fountain pen clicking away as he droned on about war tactics or something, with Jim absorbing just as much of what he was saying as he did the first time.
Their eyes met briefly, and Jim tried to put on his best listening face before scribbling some nonsense down in his notebook.
It was weird seeing him in this room again, alive, clad in human skin and teaching history like he hadn’t probably been alive throughout most of the events he was describing.
To distract himself, Jim started thinking of the best way to deal with the changeling situation. He wanted to get both Nomura and Strickler on his side as fast as possible, together with NotEnrique, should he already be in Arcadia. But how could he do that? It wasn’t like he could confront them head-on. Any indication that he knew what they were planning, and they’d be after his head.
And he doubted that starting a fight with them without any of his weapons would end well.
Maybe he should try and find out if he could contact NotEnrique first. The toddler-sized changeling had been the easiest to convince last time, so why should it be any different now? Unless he hadn’t been switched out yet, in which case he would have to think about whether or not he should try to prevent the switch.
Claire had been worried sick about her baby brother the whole time he had been trapped in the Darklands, and while Jim knew that Enrique would be safe there, he didn’t want the kid to be separated from his family for so long. Not to mention that Claire would kill him if he admitted to knowing that her brother would be getting kidnapped and not doing anything about it.
His eyes locked onto Claire’s form as he got lost in thought. She sat a few desks away from him, dutifully taking notes on her laptop. Her hair fell forward as she looked down at the keyboard, and she absentmindedly brought a hand up to tuck it behind her ear.
Next to her, Mary pointed to a passage in her history book and quietly whispered something to her. Claire’s eyes widened for a second, then she covered her mouth to try and stifle a giggle.
Man, she was beautiful. So graceful, and intelligent, and-
“Jim, would you agree?”
“Huh?” He flinched as he heard his name and whipped around to face his teacher. Strickler was looking at him expectantly as he clicked his pen.
“With Herodotus’ opinion on his tactics of war, as I’ve described.”
Jim looked down at the measly scribbles in his notebook and stammered out: “Uh, yeah, absolutely.”
“Excellent. Which tactics specifically?”
This was the weirdest Déjà vu he had ever experienced.
“The uh…winning ones?” He resisted the urge to slap his forehead. Third time ‘round, and he still couldn’t come up with a decent answer.
The bell rang to release him from his torment, and he quickly started packing his bag as the other students started rushing to the door.
“Jim, may I have a word?” The boy turned around again, accidentally pushing over his bag and spilling all its contents over the floor. Quietly cursing, Jim bent down to pick them up at the same time as Strickler did.
The changeling offered Jim one of his books as he started talking. “Jim, you’re distracted. You looked like you were miles away throughout most of the class. It didn’t seem like you were picking up any of the material.”
Jim’s eyes dropped to the floor. So it was that obvious, huh?
“Sorry, I kind of have a lot on my mind today.”
“I know that being a teenager can be overwhelming at times, and you have a lot more on your shoulders than the average teen does- “
Oh, he had no idea.
“-It’s just you and your mother at home, and you want to help her.”
“She’s just really tired. She’s been working double shifts at the clinic.” Jim zipped up his bag but stayed crouched on the ground, unwilling to meet the man’s eyes.
“I believe I’m overdue for a conversation with her,” Strickler said as he grabbed a note and wrote something on it.
“Have her call me, please.”
“Yes,” Jim said, maybe a bit too quickly, before taking the paper handed to him.
“And feel free to drop by my office if you ever need to talk.”
The offer sounded earnest as he made it, and Jim wondered if it was, or if the changeling was just really dedicated to maintaining his cover. Part of him wanted to believe it was the former.
“Yeah, I will.”
“Oh, and, Jim, if you fancy Miss Nuñez, I submit that talking to will be much more effective than staring at,” he commented as he lightly tapped Jim’s head with a book.
Slightly embarrassed, Jim turned around and said his goodbyes before joining Toby in the hall.
His teacher was right, though. He would have to talk to Claire sooner rather than later if he didn’t want to come off as an obsessed stalker with the way he was looking at her.
Working up the courage to talk to Claire during gym class was turning out to be more difficult than he had first thought. This would be her first impression of him, it was important that he did not screw it up. Should he just walk up and introduce himself? What could he say afterwards? There were so many things he wanted to say to her and none of them would be befitting their current relationship, or lack thereof.
After staring at her for longer than he probably should, he took a deep breath and finally made his way to the benches at the side of the hall and said in the most casual voice he could manage:
“So, uh, the school play, I hear they’re looking for people.”
“Have at it, Romeo.” She smiled as she handed him the flyer, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, before standing up to follow her friends to the door.
He felt a small pang in his chest when he saw the unfamiliarity in her eyes. To her, he was a complete stranger. The last three years of their life together hadn’t happened for her, and they wouldn’t ever happen. At least not in the same way they did to him.
Grip tight around the edges of the flyer, his gaze hovered over the depiction of Juliet.
His Juliet.
Jim's heart yearned for her, to be with her, feel close to her, but he knew that that wasn’t possible.
He had promised his Claire to find her again, but the thought of using his future knowledge to make her fall in love with him made him feel uneasy.
If the two of them were supposed to work out, he needed to do this the right way, which meant letting things play out organically.
His experiences in the alternate reality Unkar had shown him gave him a rough estimate of what not to do when it came to second chances.
He made a silent vow to himself to tell her everything as soon as the time was right. About the other world, their history, the reset, all of it. That kind of secret was not something he should keep from her.
Looking up from the paper, he watched her disappear through the door.
And suddenly he felt very alone.
A bell rang behind him, and Jim turned around just in time to see Toby excitedly wave at him from the top of the rope, Coach shouting his congrats up at the boy. Jim managed a small smile. At least he had Toby to navigate this familiar yet still entirely new world with him.
Then something made Jim pause. Toby hadn’t been able to climb the rope last time, and as far as Jim knew, the only thing of note that had changed for him was this morning’s route to school.
Jim pushed down his seeding worries about the timeline being more easily changed than he had thought and focused back on Toby.
His friend came running up to him, still breathing heavily, but with a triumphant smile on his face. Together, they started heading for the showers.
If everything went according to plan, his best friend would tell him about the amulet in a few days (Jim didn’t think for a second that Toby would last even a week with this secret) and start his Trollhunter training with Blinky and Aaarrrgghh.
The thought of seeing his mentor again excited him for a moment, before remembering that, like with so many other of his future friends and allies, he would have to start building their relationship from the ground up. Just that this time, Blinky wouldn’t be his mentor, he would be Toby’s.
Toby would be the one for Blinky to train, to teach life lessons, and to hassle with homework on Troll history.
And Jim knew this. He wanted Toby to take on the mantle because his friend deserved it; he was a hero. Blinky was the best trainer Toby could ask for, and Jim hoped that they would grow as close as he and Blinky had before, but still.
Jim wanted that closeness too.
In the three years of being the Trollhunter that Jim had just erased, Blinky had become the closest thing to a father figure that he had. The thought of losing that relationship, of not being able to build that Vespa with him, of not having that easy affection the troll had shown him later on, especially after they had left for New Jersey, pained him greatly.
He could always tell Blinky and all his other friends about the previous timeline, and he did plan on doing so eventually. But would they believe him, though, if he told them too soon? He wasn’t sure if they would ever be able to get their memories back; in all honesty, he doubted they could, even if he desperately wanted them to.
No, Jim needed to make sure that he did it at the right time.
The people of this timeline would never be the same as the people he lost. They would make their decisions based on their experiences in this world, not the phantom of one that existed only in Jim’s memories.
None of his friends should feel like they had to live up to an alternate version of themselves, and he definitely didn’t want his knowledge of the future to make him careless.
This morning, he had felt so sure of his plan, so confident that he had what it took to change fate itself, but the longer he thought about it and the more he realized all the things that had to be amended, the less sure he felt.
He knew the rough sequence of events that would most likely transpire in similar ways they did for him, but any changes that were made might have rippling effects that could drastically change how the future would turn out.
There was so much to do and so little time to do it. And Jim was the only person in the world who knew of the danger looming over them.
He felt isolated from the people he cared about, most of them so different from the way he had left them. He wanted everything to be the way it was before, but he had come back to do things differently this time, hadn’t he?
To make a better future, without all the loss and sacrifice. Which meant that he had to choose when and whom to tell the truth to.
It made him feel conflicted.
Jim started rubbing circles into his palms to try and push down the nerves bubbling up inside him.
Man, he really wished he had Blinky to ask for advice on this right now.
Then again, he thought: Blinky might not be the only one who could offer him some advice.
Jim awkwardly stood in Strickler’s office, waiting for the man to return, his gaze wandering around the room. He was tempted to snoop around a bit, look at the bookshelves more closely to keep himself occupied, but figured that his teacher wouldn’t be appreciative of that.
Slightly rocking back and forth on his heels, he started thinking of what exactly he would say. He’d come here for a bit of wisdom on his situation, but how exactly could he explain his conundrum without having to lay all the cards on the table?
Maybe he could try talking about it metaphorically or by leaving all the weird parts out?
Or maybe coming here had been a bad idea, and he should leave before Strickler came back-
He didn’t get to act on that thought, however, as the door swung open with a quiet creak. Strickler walked in, holding a folder and scanning whatever was written in it, when he looked up and spotted Jim, bag at his feet and hands folded in front of him.
“Jim,” he said with a hint of surprise in his voice, “what are you doing in my office? I do believe I had locked it earlier.”
The teenager sheepishly lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck.
“Yeah, sorry. I told Coach that I wanted to talk to you, and he let me in. Told me to just wait here until you came back.”
“Ah, I see.” A look of slight irritation crossed the changeling’s face, but quickly smoothed over into a warmer expression as he gestured to the stool in front of his desk.
“Well, I’m glad you decided to take me up on my offer. I happen to have some time on my hands, so why don’t you take a seat and tell me what I can do for you,” he suggested as he closed the folder he had been holding and walked across the room.
Jim looked at the stool that was a bit too close to the ground for his comfort and decided that he would rather stay on his feet. He moved closer to the desk that Strickler now sat behind, already with a fountain pen in hand.
Now that it was time to talk, Jim found himself unsure of how to start, instead just periodically looking at his teacher and then at the bookshelf behind him while nervously wringing his hands.
Strickler was still patiently waiting for him to say something, the clicking of his pen the only sound between them.
What had he been thinking by coming here?
His ears picked up on something, and he turned his head. Faint talking could be heard from the window, and Jim walked closer to it, turning his back to the rest of the room. People outside were strolling across the soccer field, chatting happily or lounging around the trees that surrounded the grass.
Jim’s eyes landed on Claire, who was walking with her friends, seemingly lost in conversation.
“Jim- “
“I’m auditioning for the school play,” he exclaimed, just wanting to fill the silence. This clearly hadn’t been what his teacher expected to hear.
“Romeo and Juliet? You never seemed to show much interest in the theater before, Young Atlas.”
Picking up the knight chess piece from the board that sat before him, Jim twirled the figure around for a moment before looking back through the window at Claire. She looked up, and their eyes met briefly before something her friend said caught her attention again.
“Yeah, I don’t know”, he said, gaze still following the girls below.
“Something tells me this will be worth my while.”
The knight was placed back onto the chessboard, and Jim let his arm fall to the side. His hand brushed a piece of paper that was sticking out of his jeans’ pocket, and an idea came to him as Strickler got up to join him at the window.
“Anyway,” he started. “I wanted to come by to ask you if you’d come over for dinner.”
That made the man stop in his tracks for a moment. “Dinner?”
“I’d like to introduce you to my mom.” He held up the piece of paper with Strickler’s phone number on it.
“If I just give her this, she might still forget to call you, and I need someone I can test this new recipe I made out on,” Jim continued, nervously shrugging his shoulders.
“I’d love to,” Strickler answered, offering Jim a genuine smile.
Then his expression turned a bit more skeptical, as he held out his pen to point at Jim’s chest.
“I don’t think that was the only reason for you to come here, though, was it? Something seemed to be troubling you earlier today, and I don’t think it was theater or dinner invitations.”
Jim sighed and his gaze dropped down to the chessboard again.
“Yeah, you’re right. I just-…” He hesitated.
Strickler still looked at him, waiting for him to go on.
Trying to choose his words carefully, he started again.
“I feel like- I know it sounds silly, but sometimes I feel like the future is this precarious, fragile thing, and if I do one thing wrong, make one bad decision, it’s all going to crumble apart.
I thought I knew the right thing to do. That I could control the way things will play out, but the more I think about it, the less sure I am that I even know what I’m doing.
“It’s just so much, and I don’t want to mess it all up.
If I fail, I'm going to let all the people who mean the most to me down.”
His throat started to close up, and he did his best to keep his voice from wavering.
Strickler looked at him with a thoughtful expression. He stopped fiddling with the pen in his hand and laid it back on the table, directing his entire focus over to Jim.
“Have you talked to anyone else about this? Your mother or Mr. Domzalski?”
Jim shook his head. “No. And I can’t tell them about it.”
“May I ask why?” Strickler furrowed his brow slightly as he asked.
“I don’t want to burden them with this. My mom spends most of her time at work, and when she does come home, she is exhausted. I can’t add even more to that. She worries enough as it is, and Toby- he has his own stuff to deal with.
I'm not his responsibility. So, I can’t ask him for help on this either.”
Jim finally lifted his head and looked the changeling in the eyes.
“I needed someone to ask for advice on this, and you’re… the only person I could think of.”
Something in Strickler’s gaze softened at that. He briefly broke eye contact and looked at the figure Jim had picked up earlier, before meeting Jim’s eyes again.
“Jim,” he began, tone gentle.
“I think that you are, first and foremost, a caretaker. You want to take care of your mother and your friends. And you do this by piling all the work and responsibility onto yourself.
“There is a reason I like to call you Young Atlas, the boy with the sky on his shoulders.
“But you have to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it certainly wasn’t built by just one person. That weight is just too much for a single human to bear, especially one as young as you.”
The boy turned around at that, his gaze once again on the people outside.
“But wouldn’t it be selfish of me to drag my loved ones into my problems just so I can have it a little easier? If I chose to take on this responsibility, how could I ask them to make it theirs too?” Jim asked hesitantly, voice unsteady.
“You would be of no good to anybody, were you crushed by the weight you carry, now, would you? A burden shared is a burden halved, and you have people in your life who would be more than willing to share your burden; you just have to give them the chance.
“Being selfish isn’t something to be ashamed of; it’s how we survive. Take care of yourself first, or you may have nothing left to give to others." He paused for a second-
“I know how tempting it is to try and gain as much control of your life as possible. To do everything yourself. It makes you feel secure, safe.
In my experience, things rarely go your way no matter how hard you try to control the outcome, so you might as well have someone to fall back on once things do get perilous.”
Jim’s head turned again when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s okay to need help, Jim.
And even if you don’t need it, it’s okay to want some anyway.” Jim fought against the pressure building behind his eyes.
Looking at the man before him, Jim thought back on the version of Strickler he had left behind. Of the helplessness he’d felt, sitting alone in that barren wasteland of ice as he watched the titan go down, the shockwave so loud that his ears had been ringing for hours afterward.
The sudden grief that had gripped him as the dust settled.
It wasn’t like they’d been particularly close. They had been enemies for a good while, and even after becoming allies, Jim had been hesitant to trust the changeling, after everything that had happened between them.
The fact that the man had been dating his mother did not help with the weirdness.
But Strickler did make his mom happy, so Jim did his best to try and warm up to him again, which he did, eventually.
During their journey to New Jersey, Jim had sometimes struggled with his conflicting human and troll emotions and had found himself turning to the changeling for guidance on how to deal with them.
What had started with advice turned into casual conversation about the journey and whatever was going on in Arcadia that hadn’t already been covered in Jim’s daily phone calls with his mom. They gradually managed to iron out some of their issues, with a fair bit of apologizing on Strickler’s part.
It had made Jim realize how much he had missed being able to talk with his former teacher like this, and he had started looking forward to their conversations.
By the time his mom had announced the engagement, Jim was happy for both of them and had meant it when he said that it would be an honor to be the best man at their wedding.
So, no, they hadn’t been close. But Jim had really hoped they could be, one day.
Not that that mattered much now. All hope for a future where they might have become family died in Greenland.
Jim’s eyes began to prickle with tears, and he suddenly wanted to get out of this room as quickly as possible.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, wiping a sleeved arm across his face, before moving away to grab his bag off the floor. Jim started to head for the exit, but stopped for a moment.
“Thanks for the advice,” he said, briefly turning back to look at the changeling.
“I like talking to you,” he added, a little quieter.
“Always.” Strickler watched Jim go with an unreadable expression on his face, green eyes following him until he was out the door.
Jim closed the office door behind him, lingering there for a moment, before making his way toward the school entrance, where he knew Toby was waiting for him. He would have time to unpack all of that later; for now, he had to make sure that his plan was set in motion properly.
Toby greeted him, and Jim accompanied his best friend to the gate to send him off. After Toby wished him luck with his audition, Jim suggested he take the canal route home, in case there was anything interesting to be found there.
At the redhead’s remark that nothing interesting ever happened in Arcadia, Jim had to suppress a snort and waved his friend goodbye instead.
The change to the timeline he was about to make would have long-lasting effects. And while he trusted that Toby would make a great Trollhunter, Jim still couldn’t help but worry.
He watched him disappear behind a street corner, mind a mess of doubts and fears, which he promptly pushed down. After lingering for a few more moments, Jim sighed and started to head toward the gym, to hopefully, once again get the part of Romeo.
At the sight of Claire, sitting in the front row, his heart fluttered.
Taking a deep breath, he walked forward, ready to audition.
His first day back had certainly turned out to be something.
And from here on out, it would not get easier.
This was going to be a lot of work.